How many women have been asked by men if they’re available for a session?

skrammaskramma
in Cuddle Requests

Greetings to all. I have had a few men message me asking if I’m available for a session. I am not listed as a professional. I would totally understand if they message someone like this who is a professional. What bothers me is all they say is “hello are you available for a session“ they don’t introduce themselves. They don’t ask anything about me. They’re not trying to get to know me as a person.

However, I am not a professional. What I’m looking for is not just the physical intimacy, but also forming a friendship connection with a person I would consider cuddling with. When I get a message asking for a session I feel like I’m back on the regular dating apps. And what really bothers me is how transactional and objectifying this feels.

Comments

  • TxTomTxTom

    Some dudes haven't yet made the distinction between Pro and enthusiast. Either they haven't been here long enough to understand the culture, or they just don't care.

  • AZcuddles602AZcuddles602

    @skramma This was happening to me a while ago and I updated my profile to spell out that I was an enthusiast, not a pro. That did the trick and I haven’t gotten that question since.

  • Katelyn_BKatelyn_B
    edited April 2025

    I get asked to book a session occasionally, usually last minute and in a somewhat perfunctory manner, though not very often. Maybe once or twice a month these days at most.

    I used to respond and tell people I'm not currently a pro, but now I just delete the message.

  • [Deleted User]Kaysense13 (deleted user)

    I myself is someone new to this platform and get asked if I'd like to cuddle but in not a pro. I am not sure really what to do when asked without sounding confused (though I am) about finding my cuddle buddy. My shyness due to being a introvert caused a mute but since restarting my account I hope for better results. Staying positive and less over thinking is my new vibe now. Any advice on realistic viewpoints of what to truly expect is much appreciated.

  • muddlemandmuddlemand

    Like booking an appointment with the dentist, yes :(

    I haven't had too many but I'm not online much, so my picture doesn't appear at the top of the first page you see. (I expect I'll get something like that in a minute, now that I've spent longer than a minute on the site!) But I had exactly that the other day, "Are you available for a session" with nothing else. Empty profile too.
    I simply reply that I'm not professional. (That latest guy said yes he knew that, which made it way more unfriendly than if he'd thought he was booking a paid service - but it wasn't his fault he got the wrong end of the stick, it really isn't made clear.)

    If they seem to be not unpleasant but just unaware of what it's all about, I suggest they look at the forums. On first joining this site is very confusing, misleading, and I'm sure it's easy to land here accidentally from a search for porn non-platonic intimacy - and nothing would make you realise it isn't that, when you arrive. And in that context they aren't going to look at the T&Cs, which let's face it are fairly well buried in the smallprint, not obvious or easy for newcomers to find. And some of the photos on the landing page are more "dating profile" than "Facebook". Not to mention that they default to people currently online which would confirm the assumption, if someone had made the assumption, that the site's about video interactions rather than real, everyday people - those profiles usually aren't on the same continent as me.

    Or else people have heard of platonic cuddling as a professional thing - that's how I first heard of it, in a news item - and did intentionally look for that but have no idea it's a network of non-professionals. So they expect it to be like booking a massage for example.

  • DkellerDkeller

    "When I get a message asking for a session I feel like I’m back on the regular dating apps"
    🫤 Regular dating apps? As opposed to this site? I was under the impression that this was expressly not a dating app. Or maybe I'm missing your point. 🤔

  • lovingspoonfulllovingspoonfull
    edited April 2025

    I don’t fully understand this thread. It feels like the use of the word session is objectionable, regardless of context. Is that correct?

    Session by definition is a dedicated time period usually with a defined goal. Pay has no relevance.

    With that definition, wouldn’t it apply to all cuddles?

    I had an enthusiast tell me recently that she enjoyed our session - I can assure you she did not pay me. 😇

    And please don’t misconstrue me - I don’t want to dismiss the concern that some folks don’t read, or treat the people they’re interacting with like a product instead of a real person, or that they’re “hiring” someone.

    I’m just seeking clarity on the word usage and questioning why it might be considered inappropriate.

    I can’t actively recall using the word, but I could see myself doing so and don’t want to give offense. 😀

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    @lovingspoonfull

    The technical definition from Merriam Webster is "a meeting or series of meetings of a body (such as a court or legislature) for the transaction of a business". it goes on with similar versions of this, specific to court, and then the time of year or day in which school conducts classes. at the very bottom you find "a meeting or period devoted to a particular activity" but even then it implies business as it's example is a "recorded session".

    In healthcare sessions refer to booking with different kinds of therapists (mental health, physical, massage, etc.)

    So I do make an effort not to call it a session. I am not a pro cuddler and session does have a professional, transactional definition to it.

    now if folks I've been getting to know throw it into use here or there out of habit or by accident or because a better word doesn't come to mind, in certain context that's fine. If the sentence they use the word "session" in could easily have included the term "hang out" instead and still made sense then it's fine. But a stranger writing another stranger "are you available to hang out" doesn't make sense. so in this specific context I still object to the word session.

    This is the context the OP is referring to. No introduction, no information, no indication they have even read the profile they are messaging.

    My profile specifically states that I move slowly, i want to get to know people, message back and forth, etc.

    But I get messages all the time as OP describes, no context, nothing about themselves, nothing that indicates that I am an enthusiast trying to get to know people or that they have even read my profile.

    Just "are you available for a session on ..." or the even worse ones, "got any pics" or "I think you'd make a great cuddle" (ew)

    No context, just that as their very first message. (If we had been chatting for a bit and getting to know each other, then asking for pics or pointing out that this is a good cuddle connection would be fine, that would be the right context.)

    In my profile, I've spelled out that i'm not a pro but an enthusiast and what that means, still get those messages.
    I've spelled out specifically not to message me this way, still get those messages.

    At times, I've put in the effort when i see it's a relatively new cuddler to provide some education about the site, it's intention, pros vs enthusiasts and good messaging etiquette. As @muddlemand said, it's not always obvious when folks sign up and who knows how they got here. but that's exhausting, and usually results in them ignoring me, or them saying, "oh yeah sure, I'm definitely down for that", and then still resorting to the same kind of messaging or dropping off to silence shortly there after (which is fine). And I just don't have the bandwidth for it anymore.

    Now, I've finally resorted to burying a codeword in my profile at the very end and specifically spell out that I will not reply to you if you message me without it.

    To be clear, I still get those messages, but now I just scroll on by cause there's no codeword. I also still get messages with the codeword that are not as cringe, but still clearly folks who don't really know how to engage in a conversation with another person, which I get. I'm socially awkward too. talking is hard sometimes. 😁

    (the codeword wasn't my idea, I stole it from another enthusiast cuddler who had one, and I thought it was genius)

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    @Dkeller I don't think OP was implying this is a dating app, i think OP was implying that this is not a regular site, it's unique in a lot of ways about what it's intention are. So more implying this site is "Irregular" (In the best way 😉) and dating sites are "regular".

    But maybe I've got OP wrong as well. 🤷‍♀️

  • lovingspoonfulllovingspoonfull
    edited April 2025

    Thank you for explaining @mauvefox . My takeaway is that in your experience that word is linked to the behaviors and mindsets you’ve described. I can see that and I’ll be aware that others likely have the same.

    Not a counter argument, because I see your points, but the dominant usage of the word in my experience is informal and no business. It is linked to school study groups up through college - they were always called study sessions, and music practice for groups like garage bands, usually called jam sessions.

    I’ve not seen the clue word approach you used (which I like by the way - no way to use that accidentally in passing 😀) but I have seen people ask for specific emojis.

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