Quotes from profiles that make you laugh?

JubalJubal
edited April 2025 in General

Sometimes I run across a profile with phrasing that just gives me the giggles. One profile has this gem (and no, I won't say who it is):

Please take care of your hygiene or it’ll be like Finding Nemo and I won’t be able to breathe
No outfit requests cuz this ain’t Build-A-B!tch

=) :3 :p

Comments

  • waynewvwaynewv

    I like the Pro that listed under about drinking
    She said. I drink way to much , lol

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc
    edited April 2025

    @Jubal I SAW THAT ONE TOO! I even messaged her telling her how funny I thought that was.

    (I hope it’s not a faux pas here to self refer, but the two chuckle items I get responses on are my gluten free couch and under pets I put screensaver fish).

  • CuddlesofcuddleCuddlesofcuddle

    I need a hug job. Lol someone had a song created about the CC experience and posted it to their page

  • AuroradreamAuroradream

    Ok, I got a good one!
    Picture this, in one of the pics of a new male pro (another topic entirely) was a sign that read MY FARTS ARE SILENT BUT DEADLY. It was situated above the mirror in a selfie.
    Thanks for the heads up, pal!

  • JubalJubal

    @Auroradream I guess that's fair warning to anyone who books with him LMAO!!

  • TxTomTxTom

    Paraphrasing, so as to protect the innocent...

    Book or don't look!

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited April 2025

    I don't want no scrubs unless you are a doctor
    (Not exactly funny. Kinda sad really)

  • Gene2019Gene2019

    “keep your hands where I can see them”

    I couldn’t figure out how I could give a hug considering that restriction. 🤷🏻‍♂️

  • SoosonSooson

    "I spent time working in the online coaching space as a 1:1 Self Pleasure Practitioner"

    She immediately follows with a clarification as to what it is NOT.

    🤣🤣🤣

  • KatotaKatota
    edited April 2025

    Lol! It wasn't a quote, it was a picture. 😄

    It looked like a Christmas party group photo, with other attendees understandably cropped out BUT said cuddler... Lol 🤣

    He was wearing a Freddy Krueger sweater in the photo! Lol 😆😆

    It was red and green horizontal striped and looked like it was frayed around the collar edges, "burned like Freddy's sweater" ya know? ☺️

    It thought it was hilarious, Freddy's sweater has been called a "Christmas sweater" before. 😄😆

    So why not, wear it to a Christmas party! 🥳🎄

    As a Freddy fan, I messaged said cuddler to tell him how much I loved it! 😍😁

    He didn't respond back, it's cool. Still loving it! 😍👍

  • KatotaKatota

    I don't want no scrubs unless you are a doctor

    😆😆😆

    @pmvines Maybe that person was in need of medical attention. ☺️

  • Honeydew1Honeydew1

    I literally came across a profile that said they are a "Cuddle Slut" Like LOL

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc
    edited April 2025

    Cuddle slut? That’s a good one.
    Also a good name for a band.

  • Honeydew1Honeydew1

    Lmao 😂 I can't right now

  • lovingspoonfulllovingspoonfull

    Saw one that called herself a “friend with health benefits” 😂

  • cheeseboycheeseboy Mod

    Pro: "keep it in your pants and stay out of mine"

  • ChemicalBobChemicalBob

    $250 per hour

  • JargogleBearHugJargogleBearHug

    "Platonic chronic, Just like getting high it seems like a good idea at the time but you’ll probably fail your piss test later."

  • KatotaKatota
    edited May 2025

    There's posting a response to this discussion on something that makes you laugh and then there is insulting someone, which this comment was doing and is against the forum rules [netrunner]

  • KatotaKatota

    Loyal and protective with a splash of chaos.

    This line was clever and humourous!☝️😁

    Ha! 😁 Wouldn't mind meeting this person, unfortunately this person hasn't logged on in months..It is what it is.😊

  • lovingspoonfulllovingspoonfull

    This one set such a clear visual image, and set a cuddle bar so high I’ll never reach it. Had to laugh.

    ideal cuddle settings and situations:
    -we cuddle so much that plants grow through us and around us like we’re abandoned buildings

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited May 2025

    Not exactly funny but I read one today that stated her listed rate is only for those who comply with her list of requirements including having a pic, answer questions about her profile etc, otherwise it would be higher. Not only did I find this to go beyond self absorbed main character syndrome, but I had to ask myself how many people willingly went through with the booking despite knowing they were being charged a higher rate

  • lovingspoonfulllovingspoonfull
    edited May 2025

    I’ve actually seen a ton of profile names that make me laugh but I guess I won’t post those. 😎

  • lovingspoonfulllovingspoonfull
    edited May 2025

    This one makes me try to picture what competitive cuddling would look like. 😀 too bad she appears to be retired.

    If there was an award for giving best hugs, I’d win! My cuddle game is even better!

  • lovingspoonfulllovingspoonfull

    I found this one today. Her opening statement sets the tone well for her profile.

    It definitely made me smile, and I could always use more laughs. 😎

    If we don’t do anything at all…we, for sure, are going to laugh!

  • lovingspoonfulllovingspoonfull

    Here’s a good one I saw today. 😎

    I’m basically a human sparkler—bright, impossible to miss, and I light up any space I walk into.

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