Married/Partnered Women

Sunrise_SnuggleSunrise_Snuggle
in General

Men, how do you feel about married or partnered women that make a point to request that you not disclose any information to their husbands/partners about their cuddle relations?

Have you ever had this happen? Is this a deal-breaker for you?

Because it seems, a decent number of women have dealt with male cuddlers that have made a point to ask to keep it a secret from their wives/partners. And many women consider this to be a deal-breaker. But I'm curious how men feel about this.

Comments

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    Never experienced it, but wouldn't be comfortable with it. Yes, it's their relationship, not mine, but it's way too easy to get dragged into the middle of someone else's situation. Consider ... how could you prove a cuddle meet-up was just platonic?
    Some people would feel the rewards outweigh the risks and that's up to them. I simply don't see it that way.

  • MikeAmirMikeAmir

    Np, if her partner knows about it

  • JubalJubal

    So far, the pros who I've met haven't said anything like "oh, my husband doesn't know". My concern if this happened would be along the lines of "what's he going to try to do to ME if he learns about your pro cuddling?"

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    I’ve had something like this happen one time with a pro. We communicated onsite, I booked a session, and she hosted. Everything was fine, I showed up on time and when she let me in, it was obvious a man also lived there (men’s shoes on a mat by the door, men’s products on the sink in the bathroom, etc.).

    I had cuddled with another married pro before while her husband was home doing wood working in the garage and he was supportive of her being a pro cuddler. In that case the husband saw me getting out of my car in his driveway and he waved to me as I was walking up the drive. So based on my previous experience with a married pro having a spouse who supported her being a cuddler, I wasn’t really concerned… at first.

    At the beginning of my cuddle with the 2nd married pro, she told me she was married (I had already figured that out) and that her husband knew she was cuddling and was supportive of her doing so. But during our cuddle she opened up about some things I never asked about and I realized her husband probably had no idea she was cuddling. I STRONGLY suspect she was cuddling to make and save some money he didn’t know anything about so she could leave him.

    She never asked me to “not say anything to her husband” but I suddenly realized if the guy came home early from work… this situation would not end well with me being in his house with his wife. I paid her for the full 2 hour cuddle but left as soon as I realized he probably didn’t know anything about cuddling. I never messaged her again and she deleted her account a few weeks later.

    I never met her husband but from comments she made about him, he seemed to have anger management issues and I felt like she had put me in danger by inviting me into THEIR home without his knowledge and consent.

    80% of violent crime in the United States is committed by men so statistically, a male client is much more likely to be assaulted by the husband of a pro than a pro is to be assaulted by the wife of a client (especially if the male client is in the pro’s home when her husband comes home).

  • Sunrise_SnuggleSunrise_Snuggle

    @JohnR1972

    That’s an incredibly dangerous situation to be in, and unethical for a pro to place a client in such danger, especially without his knowledge and consent.

    It would not be safe for a pro either if the session were held at the client’s place, and the client’s wife (or husband) walked in.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972
    edited May 2025

    @Sunrise_Snuggle
    Agreed. In that case, I would have been an “intruder” in the eyes of the husband even though I had been invited in by the pro. She did not have a car so she wanted to host. During the cuddle she made a comment about how controlling her husband was and that he insisted she not have a car and he handled all the finances so she never had any money. That was when I started to realize just how dangerous of a situation I was in.

    I have no idea what she would have said to him if he had come home early while I was there. I just knew if the best case scenario would be for her to be completely honest with him but the way she described him, he probably would not have believed the truth. If she lied to him to try to protect herself, that would have made me look even worse and the situation would have likely ended at the police station or a hospital.

    The risk of legal / medical consequences in this case definitely outweighed the “oxytocin release” of the cuddle I cut short. Based on the circumstances, I really didn’t want to pay for the full 2 hours but I wanted even less to stick around and argue about it so I just paid her and left.

  • ImmersedwarmthImmersedwarmth

    I've had two cuddle buddies who were married (both of these cuddlers were enthusiasts). One had a spouse who knew and supported the cuddling, the other did not want her husband knowing.

  • TheNewNovelistTheNewNovelist

    I had sessions with a provider who lived with her partner. He was well aware of her program and sometimes was in another room during our sessions. It was all above board and I felt extremely relaxed. My perspective is that things should be out in the open.

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc

    @TheNewNovelist (Even still, that would be weird for me to have him in the other room, but to each his own).

  • jamesDCjamesDC

    Deal-breaker. Absolutely. It's goodbye, have a nice life.

  • bearbuttbearbutt

    Ideally both parties are single but then again this is platonic only so if someone was married it wouldn't be a deal breaker even if they wanted to keep it a secret. I'm sure they have their reasons and we don't have to get into them. However I would make it a requirement that we only cuddle at hotel. I think they would want that as well. Less chance of someone finding out.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @bearbutt Unless their partner suspects something and is following them or has hired someone to do so.

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