After several decades of participating in online communities, I've come to appreciate how an earnest introduction demands introspection. To posit a very poor analogy it's a mental hug - er, cuddle? - where I feel out how our personas mesh, the way a body gives to another during a long hug and some deep breaths.
This is in stark contrast from my early Internet forays. With good ole' Craigslist's personals, for example, I'd shotgun blast a form response to posts catching my fancy. (I lived in New York then, so there were plenty of prospects.)
Today, however, regardless of the community, my goal isn't to present myself well. Now I intuit the other person, dwell on my attraction, and write to express where our interests, experiences and values overlap - i.e , how we might be a good match. Of course many don't reply (for myriad reasons), and it is the same shot in the dark but at least I'm aiming.
I find joy in composing acknowledgements and sharing gratitude. I've made contacting others a means to rediscover myself and thank them for both the inspiration and opportunity. (Sure, here, I then invite them to become friends and cuddle.) It's a kind of positive psychology, where no matter what shape I'm in it's the perfect fit for someone's life. When I can speak to my value and point out another's, that effort is my result not their response.
Anyone have a similar experience connecting online? I know writing isn't the way for everyone but I also can't imagine I'm that unique.
Thanks for reading my brain stank, and Happy Memorial weekend, all!
(Sorry about the poll flubs - had to read it after editing the post. )