Nm
@Backscratch75 And book through the site, so if you do meet a bad actor, you can report it and get them banned. You can't do that with an off-site booking.
@quincyq03 ugh, sorry this happened with your very first cuddle attempt. To answer your questions, I'm not sure if that would qualify as being played....unless you gave a deposit. But it's definitely super sus and she is not legit 🧐
Some red flags that I see: -Pros are NOT allowed to take things off-site (and/or exchange personal info) until after a booking is made here. That's even more sus since she's the one that initiated that. 😒 -Communication isn't clear and makes you confused and uneasy (follow your gut) -Doesn't have cuddle clothes....ummm wut? 🤨 -Being cagey about her location, and not actually driving to your house....double wut 🤨🤨
Sometimes I am not sure of my location and finding cuddle clothes these days is just a total nightmare.
Definitely a scam. A real pro is not going to waste their time with all the back and forth nonsense. Next time, book someone through this website and only chat off the website after that is done. Sorry, you ran into a scammer. They are here aplenty, but the good news is they give themselves away. If you stick to the ground rules, you'll be able to find kind, warm professionals who aim to provide good platonic services for a fee.
@CuddleMeister00 It was a long scam, though. Talking for over two years, planning the cuddle for six months, and if he didn't pay a deposit, what did she get out of this?
I am going to say that while there are some critical arguments about the specific situation I'm glad that this didn't turn into a pro bashing session. There are good pros out there. I know you're in a hard location. Keep trying.
P.S. did anyone else see his location and start singing the theme Oklahoma? Just me? Oklahoma where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain!!!
OP, I'm sorry this happened to you. I promise, not all pros are like this -- some are absolutely amazing!!! But yes, I wouldn't engage in any further communication with this person after an experience like this.
Speaking of amazing pros, @stormydaycuddle -- are you a mod now? If so, how exciting!!!!
@HoosCuddling I turned in my pro badge (and my forum rages) to moderate. Hugs.
Lol! Cuddle clothes. 😆😆😆
@stormydaycuddle Accountability isn't acceptable on this site? We're not allowed to publically warn each other about "bad" cuddlers?? The purpose of that policy is..?
@great_pillow08 not by name no. Personal identifiers aren’t allowed. But that’s not what the OP did. So that’s not an issue here. The post remains up as long as general pro bashing doesn’t occur. One person’s experience with someone doesn’t warrant an unfounded witch hunt. I am not saying what he said isn’t true. I’m saying we don’t know but there are those who would harass and string that pro up regardless.
You can go to a place like https://www.peoplefinder.com/ or any other to do a background check using the phone number and see with who you are dealing with
This service seems to attract a wide range of professionals. You'll likely encounter:
Dedicated and Caring Individuals: Many professionals genuinely care about their clients and strive to provide excellent service. They're in it to help and will do their best to meet your needs within the service's guidelines.
"Time Wasters": Unfortunately, some individuals may not be as efficient or committed, potentially leading to wasted time or less-than-satisfactory experiences.
Transaction-Focused Providers: For some, it's strictly a business transaction, and their primary focus is on the financial aspect. While professional, their interactions might feel less personal.
Rule-Benders and Boundary-Pushers: It's important to be aware that a minority may attempt to solicit or engage in activities outside the service's terms, such as "LK," "DFK," or other non-platonic interactions for additional fees. This is against the rules and can compromise your safety and the integrity of the service. Talking about the "pro" not the client in this situation, it happens.
Your Due Diligence is Key
Your instinct to do a background check, even as a customer, is spot on. It's crucial to empower yourself with information. Here's why and what to consider:
Protect Yourself: Understanding who you're engaging with can help ensure your safety and a positive experience.
Set Expectations: Knowing more about a professional's history or approach can help you decide if they're the right fit for your needs.
Identify Red Flags: Research can help you spot any past issues or concerning behaviors that might indicate a professional isn't reputable or trustworthy.
Before you commit, take the time to research individual professionals. Look for reviews, testimonials, or any available information that can give you a clearer picture of their reputation and practices.
Hey all. Thank you for the thoughtful responses. I felt very embarrassed after my initial post and disappeared for a few days, because I thought I broke the rules of CC by making this post.
I felt very emotional and sad after the incident and I rushed here to get clarification. Maybe I should have spoken to a mod first or something, as it may have come off as venting or complaining.
Sorry in advance for a long message, but I’m trying to get caught up. Your responses will better help me navigate this site, improve my interactions with Pro cuddlers and hopefully increase the odds that I may one day have a successful meeting with a pro.
A few things I should clarify: -The Pro and I started talking two years ago, but we didn’t get to chatting regularly until a few months ago, after she re-initiated conversation… -I tried to book through the site, but she wanted me to text instead. I was too eager to cuddle and reluctantly moved to texting. I should have realized that was a red flag.
Responding to @BlessedEnergy4U
Why would she drive towns over without the physical address and wait in a parking lot ?
That was one of the red flags. I’m reading the conversation over again and without telling me she was on her way, she said she was at the Walmart parking lot and didn’t have cuddle clothes. Why did she drive all the way to a nearby parking lot without an address? If I’m being completely honest, I don’t think she was at that parking lot. If you had a cuddle session planned and you’re a Pro cuddler, why would you drive all the way to that nearby parking lot WITHOUT cuddle clothes in the first place? I suspect that she had no intentions on cuddling. I don’t want to make accusations, but it all seemed very odd.
And if she has karma how does she not have appropriate clothes….
Exactly…
Any correspondence that needs to last more than two weeks.... just move on!
If it’s for transactional cuddles, I guess so. I primarily talk to cuddle enthusiasts on here, as infrequent as that may be. In my experience, it takes time to build trust and rapport. I can’t imagine meeting up with someone I randomly started talking to online a day before, but that’s just me.
Responding to @colforbin
Did you pay this person for any of her time over the past two years? Your post raises other questions but whether you “got played” isn’t one of them. Interactions with pros are transactional and your post illustrates something else.
We briefly exchanged a small number of messages over the course of two days in April 2023. Then, she randomly messaged me on January 27th of this year with small talk. We spoke off and on since then, but just a message or two here and there. She initiated and pursued it. She never sent me a bill or invoice for the communication, so it didn’t seem like I owed her any payment. Am I wrong?
I have a very busy schedule and was traveling most of the spring, so I didn’t have an opportunity to cuddle with her until a few days ago.
Anyway, I made a conscious effort to not disclose the name or profile of the Pro in question. I don’t want anyone going after her. I’m pretty sure it’s against policy as well to share private conversations in public that include names and/or profiles.
I wouldn’t say that I got scammed. I didn’t pay any money up front. It sure felt like she was expecting something and maybe that’s why she flaked, because I didn’t advance her the money. The situation didn’t feel right.
I think that addresses most of the relevant questions here. Thanks for your patience!
@quincyq03 I'm sorry you felt embarrassed and if I played any part in it. In my mind (upon further clarification and I'm sorry it was needed) you haven't done anything wrong at all. Hugs.
@stormydaycuddle it’s okay, I think we both misunderstood. Hugs
@quincyq03 You know, I'm probably wrong, but it almost sounds like her account got hacked. If she has been on this site so long, it's hard to believe she has been treating clients this way and not been banned. She pops back into your DMs after two years and the red flags are flying, then she scams you for no monetary gain? Maybe someone got her password and is trying to get her banned. Just a thought.
@WriterGF I was thinking that same exact thing. Good karma and almost 2 years of inactivity, then suddenly appearing with strange and flaky behavior? That sounds like an abandoned account being used.
@Adento Well, if we're right, this was never an issue of pro behavior at all.
You know, I'm probably wrong, but it almost sounds like her account got hacked. If she has been on this site so long, it's hard to believe she has been treating clients this way and not been banned. She pops back into your DMs after two years and the red flags are flying, then she scams you for no monetary gain? Maybe someone got her password and is trying to get her banned. Just a thought.
I doubt it. There wasn’t a scam. That’s why I used the word “played.” Scam would have been asking for money off the table, off site. It seems like she was leading to that by making me text her.
If someone’s trying to get a Pro banned, I think the approach would be more direct. Not sending strange messages at irregular times and then having an odd text conversation with me from a local area code. That’s the key. Almost every scammer I’ve encountered uses an encrypted app or a strange phone number.
Good karma and almost 2 years of inactivity, then suddenly appearing with strange and flaky behavior? That sounds like an abandoned account being used.
Two of her four karma are from the past year. One from four months ago, so I doubt it.
The two years of inactivity makes sense. Why would a pro talk to someone for two years straight? As others said, that doesn’t make sense either. I’m guessing that she’s had a lack of clients and she’s seen that I logged in recently, so that’s why she reached out.
Anyway, numerous people reached out to me on here and it sounds like any of these could be possibilities:
-She overbooked cuddles and backed out last minute. This seems like a real possibility. -She wanted me to send her money off site and once she realized I wasn’t an easy target, she moved on. -She had some social anxiety and felt nervous about meeting, so that’s why conversation got inconsistent and confusing. She just flaked.
Some people are just not great communicators. She was never very direct about cuddle sessions, even when we talked a couple of years ago.
That’s why I lowkey wish there was actual certification and training. Cuddling can mean anything to anyone. When money is involved, you should be more direct and reliable with communication.
I’m sure mods can pull IP activity to her account. I highly doubt it was hacked. I’ve dealt with scammers and hackers on here. They cut to the chase. They don’t spend days or weeks or months communicating.
She only has four karma in two years, so she’s not exactly getting a ton of clients. And her cuddle rate is below the local average, so you’d expect a large number of clients if she was reliable.
Unless she is getting clients, but they’re not leaving karma for some reason… I suspect the lower number of clients is because the communication skills are lacking and/or she’s just flaky. From other threads, we’ve seen that flakiness and lack of social skills are very common these days.
The biggest thing that doesn’t sit well with me is claiming that you’re at a local parking lot. And as you do that, you’re somehow not in cuddle clothes. (Her profile even states that she has specific cuddle clothes)
If someone drove out of the way to do that, you’d expect better communication and proper cuddle attire. I’m not even a pro, but I would wait until I had an address or officially confirmed a session before I got up and drove 25 minutes to a random spot that might be near the cuddler.
You drove 25 minutes to the lot. Why are you taking 10-15 minutes between sending messages? Why aren’t you picking up the phone to call? (I didn’t call, because I didn’t have consent, she said she preferred to text and I have social anxiety as it is)
Time is money. Literally. Especially if you’re a Pro.
Why did she claim to be at the parking lot? Possible explanations include: -To give the impression that she put effort in, even if she was planning to flake out. -To put pressure on me to send money (IF she was a scammer, which we don’t know for sure). She suggested that she could buy cuddle clothes at the location, so maybe she was hoping I’d send money for that. -To play a head game. Although less likely, that wouldn’t be a first time someone flaked out on meeting me claimed to be near me when they weren’t.
The only other distant possibility is that the text with my address didn’t go through, but why did every other message that I sent go through? And that goes back to my other message. If you drove all that way to meet someone who’s texting you with replies within a minute, why take 10-15 minutes or more to ask for their address and confirm the session?
It’s just a big waste of time, but less of a waste if you’re not actually in the lot. It’s just weird. It doesn’t feel like a hacker or overt scammer. Just someone who’s super flaky.
I just finished one session with a man I promptly reported and wrote a 1-star review for.
I had an uncomfortable session with that one client. He repeatedly attempted to touch me inappropriately despite clear boundaries, such as my chest, between the legs, saying how it’s a freedom of speech to say he wants to, but not to actually do it. He also asked invasive personal questions about my relationship status, and even offered me money to stop seeing other clients so he could “help me out”. He is married, and when I asked if his wife knew about his actions, he abruptly ended the session. This behavior was predatory and manipulative. I forgot to mention also he tried to offer me alcohol and drive me home. As well as dropping off coffee or food at my work place.
Ew!
spent 2 years chatting----good grief
@BrionC Doesn't sound like it was two years of communication. They talked briefly in 2023, then she messaged him out of the blue this year.
Unfortunately another option it that she was trying to lure you to that parking lot and then several “friends” take you for everything you’ve got. 🤷♀️ It’s the internet campers. Let’s all be careful out there.
@mauvefox Good point.
@CuddlesWithCat I’m so so sorry you had to deal with that hugs
@Katota I call it my Cuddle Caboodle. 😁
I’m not a pro and even I know to grab it on the way out the door. 🙄 Sus as hell.
Hugs Quincy!!!
I met someone online and sort of the same thing happened to me. We'd been talking on the phone for over a month, and we'd talk for hours and hours. We made the decision to meet at the entrance of a local Walmart. Anyway I get there and 30 minutes go by, so I call her at the payphone no answer. I call 15 minutes later and she's suddenly at home and answers the phone. I say, hey I'm at the Walmart, is everything okay? She says yeah, why don't you just meet me at my place, tells me this parking lot she's at. So I drive over there, completely empty parking lot. I noticed another pay phone nearby so I called her number again, and she said to look down the alley, in 5 minutes she'll be standing outside with a blanket wrapped around her. I must have stood there looking down this alley for a damn long time and no one showed, ever.
I gave up, walked back to my car but not before this car pulled up by me asking if I wanted any (pot) told them, nah I'm good, they left and so did I. I never called her again, and she never called me. I don't know what happened but I feel like I got played big time.
I'm just thinking, if there's a problem or you feel unsafe or you change your mind, just be honest and say that. If anything I'm left confused and concerned, and would have appreciated a call that she changed her mind or just didn't want to meet after all. I don't need an explanation but I really didn't know what to think.