Non platonic talk offsite about cc ?

dawn143dawn143
in General

There are a few sites that refer to this site and some of the cuddlers on it and the ppl on it are looking for “intel “ as they call it .

It’s quite disgusting and on the border of being assault in some of the stories they tell with their experiences with cuddlers that they “push their boundaries “ and end up getting more than just cuddles . And then there are some pro cuddlers that they discuss that offer these things right from the start .

I think it’s really sad and disturbing .

Any thoughts ?

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Comments

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    Kinda old news. It’s been brought up before and the sites aware of it.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    It's well known and a serious problem for Cuddle Comfort. Made worse by the fact that many of the tales told on such sites are outright lies presented as truth.

    This is partly why it's so important to Report. If in doubt, Report. Always. First sign of trouble, Report. Do not give people the benefit of the doubt: they know exactly what they are doing. Report.

    A considerable proportion of the harm done in the cuddle world is done by people who should have been Reported earlier, but weren't.

    The Reportee will not know that you have Reported them, although they may guess. (Exceptions have occurred but they are vanishingly rare and occur only in very specific circumstances.)

  • FLCuddleQueenFLCuddleQueen
    edited June 2025

    Anyone who has a problem with that is a part of the problem.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited June 2025

    Sex workers are not permitted on CC, and many are banned every day. However, there are such vast numbers of them joining every day that a few slip through the net, at least for a little while. At least some of them genuinely think it's ok to join because they've barely heard of CC, and there are other "cuddle" sites which do allow such activities.

    I have Reported hundreds of dubious profiles over the years, and virtually all of them are banned. Over that time they have become harder and harder to spot, as they have become less and less obvious. Most of the time I Report based on little more than a 'feeling', and it's only when the Mods look at the profile's correspondance that they can see whether the terms of service are being broken.

    Here in the UK it's much less of problem because sex work in itself is legal, and sex workers have no difficulty in advertising online.

    Clients trying to take the conversation off site is almost always a bad sign. It is against the terms of service for a professional to exchange contact details with a client until a formal Booking has been made and confirmed in the system.

    Having a sentence in your profile such as "My services are strictly non-sexual (i.e. platonic) and I Report any ambiguous comments or questions" shouldn't need to be said and isn't ideal for obvious reasons, but it does seem to reduce the number of such requests.

    Part of the problem is that a considerable number of clients do not know what the word "platonic" means, and are not interested in looking it up.

  • wilderdudewilderdude

    It's always gonna be a cat and mouse game. Sex workers/prostitutes are everywhere, even normal dating sites like tinder etc. All you can do is report.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    I would also point out that some clients falsely claim to have gotten sexual favors from pros as a way to pressure other pros to break the rules. Just because a client says he has experienced something doesn't mean he has.

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod
    edited June 2025

    If a client tells you they got sexual extras from some other pro, it’s almost always a story with hopes of getting the same from you. Don’t buy into it - and if they ask you for such favors, report them! They almost always have a pattern of other reports against them which usually make the story clear. They will be banned.

    Also if you can identify a user of this site posting externally about a pro (or heck, another identifiable member of this site) in the fashion you describe, please report them with the screenshots/links as evidence and admins will take care of the rest. We don’t tolerate that here.

  • MTexMTex
    edited June 2025

    I'm an enthusiast & I have had a few people start flirting etc. when we move communication off site. I reiterate that I'm only interested in platonic cuddling. It helps me to recognize those red flags before we meet up because they won't do that when we are messaging on here. And yes I report them.

    Another CC member gave me the idea of getting a Google Voice number. It's an added measure of protection for off site communication. You can both text & call with it & it's free with the app.

    ~I hope it's ok to mention that. Not sure if it breaks any forum rules.

  • cde123cde123

    I just refuse to move communication off-site, especially at first. I figure anyone eager to move off-site is somebody who doesn't respect rules very well, and that's not what I'm after.

  • InfiniteJoyInfiniteJoy
    edited June 2025

    Everyone with his/her own conscience

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    Of course if someone's "conscience" allows them to break the rules of a site they have joined, any moderator's conscience will allow them to ban that member.

  • DaveLaughsDaveLaughs

    Pros that offer non-Platonic get reported (by me)

  • MorpheusMorpheus
    edited June 2025

    I think some of the chatter is BS it’s just boys telling stories and trying to one up each other, trying to make themselves out to be something they perceive as special or give themselves some type of status.

    [ @Morpheus - your comment about Pro pricing was reported, and I reviewed and removed it. Thou shalt not complain about Pro pricing. There is a mega complaint thread elsewhere for that. Be sure to either use that thread or keep your pro complaints off the general forum. Thanks. -Sid]

  • Jits47Jits47

    I haven't had any success booking a normal, platonic cuddle, must less anything else.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @Morpheus Why? Some pros live in areas with a high cost of living, where everything is more expensive. Others only want a small number of clients, so they charge more to discourage the crowd. Unless you have stats to back this up, I don't see how you can make assumptions just based on price.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited June 2025

    .

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @Morpheus this point has been discussed several times and actually there is no need for the Mods to watch profiles with an above average rate. Partly because some professionals use rates in a bewildering variety of ways (for example to choke demand), and others are simply delusional about what they can charge.

    In any case sex workers commonly post a fairly average rate to attract clients, and then discuss the real rate once the conversation is off the site.

    It turns out that there is no correlation between rate and probability of non-platonic behaviour.

  • AuroradreamAuroradream

    Recently, I did my own digging when I had to report three people in rapid succession who were looking for non-platonic activity. I learned about an escort review site that mentioned Cuddle Comfort, my city, and also contained a link to a particular Pro cuddler's page on this site with her first name and phone number. I reported and followed up the situation but nobody was able to do anything about it because mods can't moderate other websites. That page is still up and still contains a link to CC plus that girl's phone number and first name. Luckily some of the extra attention has died down, but to say the least I'm pretty uncomfortable with this going on right in my town.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited June 2025

    Women's boundaries are repeatedly dismissed and undermined. So many stories about crossing boundaries and assault. It is certainly true that there are women on here who do perpetuate and cater to that. However it's really in poor taste to use it as an opportunity to complain about rates. Just gross.

  • [Deleted User]gem7 (deleted user)

    Complaints about cuddling costs on this site are handled by moderator Helen Waite. If you have an issue go to Helen Waite.

  • chickychicky

    It has been a very frustrating thing to deal with. I've actually started to avoid younger men on here because of it. Usually the day before, or the day of, I'll get a message of "can I ask something without you getting mad, please don't cancel on me though!" The question is ALWAYS about non platonic erm.... treatment. When I say that I do not do that, they are usually the ones to suddenly cancel and then block me on the site. I do try to report it, but hard to with the block. It is especially frustrating as I have to set up a sitter for my kids.
    I don't mind doing things that are not cuddling, such as some reiki or reading together or cooking together. But there has been a lot of conflict more recently over people assuming an extra 100 is going to somehow make me want to give in to the non platonic requests. I've also had a couple horrible incidents where I'm at a cuddle and they try to insist that "petting" my privates over my clothing is part of cuddling.
    I'm finding it increasingly hard of late to not fall into stereotyping, because people of a certain age or race are especially prone to behaving this way.
    It is getting harder to deal with this lately.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @chicky I'm sorry you have to deal with that. But don't give them the time of day: as soon as you see ""can I ask something without you getting mad," or the like, just Block and Report. The Mods know fine what it means.

  • jintxjintx
    edited June 2025

    @chicky reiki and cuddles sounds kinda amazing....

    Like when you get a professional massage and are all mellow and peaceful, then basking in the afterglow with some cuddles

    (I do feel like people being people would ruin that quickly though, unfortunately)

  • RedFox16RedFox16
    edited June 2025

    Yeah, this has been brought up before on the forums and it's best to try to ignore those sites. I went down some rabbit holes looking into those before and it's just a waste of time and energy. ⌚ 😵‍💫

    Why?

    • A LOT of people lie about their experiences with cuddlers. They either lie that a cuddler(s) did sexual things at all....or what sexual things they did....or that they even saw a certain cuddler in the first place (and then did sexual things) 🤷‍♀️ I get lied to constantly about "most pros do this or that"
    • Secondarily, if a cuddler has has a lot of sexual experiences with pros here (I'm looking at everyone in the forums who talks about allllllll the SWers they encounter 🧐)....it's because they are actively searching them out, which means they are perpetuating the amount of SW that happens here too. Cuddlers like to try to blame the women here doing the SW....but trust me, they wouldn't be here if they weren't getting business 🤔🤨
    • A lot of the sexual experiences that people brag about on those sites (that aren't straight out lies) are UNconsensual experiences with pros. They are coerced, pushing boundaries, and legal sexual assault. As a reminder: if a woman "goes along" with coerced sexual advances out of fear or to keep herself from getting hurt....it is NOT consensual. 😡
    • Also, yes it's nonsense to try to typecast a pro based on how much she charges. If you don't like it, don't hire her. Easy peasy, lemon squeezey 🍋
  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @RedFox16 Well said.

  • [Deleted User]casualcuddy (deleted user)
    edited June 2025

    All starts with pictures cuddlers have on their profile. Why do they even post pictures that initiate a thought?

    [Reported, reviewed, and leaving intact to demonstrate the fallacy that men or women and their pics are somehow responsible for someone's non platonic behavior. Take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions as an adult. Lecture over, and @Sideon is tired of this tried and utterly untrue behavior.]

  • [Deleted User]gem7 (deleted user)

    With some guys, a picture of a lampshade would initiate a thought. :/

  • tristan406tristan406

    You're right, but I hate that

  • cde123cde123

    Meanwhile, with some women nothing can stop them hooking up if a guy makes their heart sing. Being completely platonic isn't easy for either gender, let's be honest. Let's report the rule breakers, but also let's show some appreciation for people who think but don't do.

  • URSafeNMyArmsURSafeNMyArms

    The guy must maintain self control. In all scenarios, true or not, a third party will always assume he was the aggressive party.

    The point @casualcuddy raises is fair. Some profile pictures of pros, who are platonic and have lots of karma, usually have a few images with subtle hints of sensuality. Do these images trigger something in their customer's reptilian brain? Not sure .

    I think guys and gals must work to represent the platonic theme of CC.

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