Money
I’m going to share something that I don’t think I’ve ever talked about on the boards. When I first started cuddling pros many years ago, I developed feelings for one of my first pros. I had some financial issues at one point and wasn’t able to have paid sessions with her. We had such a great rapport that I assumed she would understand my situation and see me for free. She actually did see me for free twice but as I was in financial distress, the relationship faded away. I eventually recovered financially, by that time, that pro had moved out of state and I’ve never spoken to her since. I learned a lot from that situation. I learned to treat my relationship with pros as what they are which is a business relationship. I don’t mean that in a bad way at all but I’ve learned to keep my distance and that’s actually crossed over into my personal life and I feel it’s improved my relationships with just about everyone. So, feelings happen but my best advice is don’t have any expectations, just enjoy the moments and let them go.
@Elrondish thank you for the advice. I hope we can talk openly & honestly & keep our platonic cuddling relationship.
@Morpheus Something similar happened to me before I found CC. The cuddler was just a very sweet and inviting kind of person. Haven't had any contact with them (no pun intended) in many years. I think sometimes the first people you do something new with just stay in your memories for that much longer.
@MTex i have hopes for you and your cuddle buddy to make it through.
I think it happens to a degree with some from one time or another. I remember setting firm boundaries like this is it, this is all it will be, point blank period. Fast forward a few months and I'm the one that ended up wanting to eat my words. But generally speaking, outside of that learning experience, you are cuddling and bonding with someone it's easy to fall into that trap if you don't stay actively aware of it. Cuddle work is real therapy for a lot of people and just like in traditional therapy settings, transference is a real thing. Keeping up honest communication is always most important and effective in reducing that kind of anxious situations
I wanted to caution that just like when you go to therapy it's easy to crush on your therapist because of transference, cuddle partners are exchanging not just oxytocin but pheromones so it's important to remind ourselves there are some pretty powerful nero chemicals at play.
I don't catch feelings for people I meet on here but I also don't spend time with anybody who I wouldn't also consider a friend, and if you're my friend then it means I like and love ya as a human. Some of my favorite people who exist I've met here in fact. So yes I do like everyone I've seen from here, however the term like comes in many shapes and forms, doesn't have to have a romantic connotation.
Don't do it!!!! Pretty please 🙏 When your cuddler starts liking you,.. it never ends well. But it sure does end. 👩⚖️
Well said Morpheus.
It happens. You’re humans. People meet people however they do and sometimes these things happen. No need to stress about it.
I agree with @pmvines . I like everyone I cuddle with - it’s sort of a requirement for me. Not being a pro, my only motivation is meeting with someone cool and sharing time and space with them. I don’t currently have the emotional wherewithal to be in a non-platonic relationship with anyone right now, so feelings like that, if they show up, would be acknowledged and then ignored.
Hi everyone. Just remember it's just business
@Elrondish thank you 😊
I'm hoping we will be able to work through this. Although as some have mentioned it might be time to end it. I will know more once we get to talk about it.
And yes cuddling can stir up a lot of emotions. We are human after all.
Many times YES!! Here’s the 🔑: Compartmentalization!
” Vegas Rules”
Great reply, @SquishyJackie !
I have fallen in like/love with a few of my fellow enthusiasts I have cuddled repeatedly, and have become good/great friends with them. It's still platonic, and it's more than liking; it's loving. Nothing wrong with that if that's what both parties want! Mind you, these were enthusiast-enthusiast cuddles, not pro-client cuddles.
@nurturingman
I totally get that about falling In like/love. There's definitely a spectrum to different types of love and like. And platonic love certainly does exist. It's actually very freeing once you're able to allow yourself to love and like, and not feel obligated to have to attach romantic dynamic or context to it.
(Note that I say all this in reference to experiences with friends and homies, and not in regards to a cuddle pro/client context. There are certainly professional boundaries in place that would make that dynamic unique in the sense that they are there to perform a service, and to not be your friend, which are important boundaries to have and see there for a reason, even though an organic friendship can and does sometimes develop. For me, I speak from my experiences with friends of whom I happen to also cuddle with context)
@ladybug7 nicely said!
I'd also add remember quick crushes are a thing. Doesn't mean you have to do anything to progress it. Like the uncalled for boner just shift positions xD
Cuddle other people, hang out with close friends and remind yourself that you don't actually know this person, you only know a shallow version that the pro or clients lets you in on and you have lots of hormones running rampant during and a bit after cuddling.