Virtual Session Weirdness

AlyLaurenAlyLauren
in Pro Cuddling

Hello cuddly people! I just had the weirdest situation and I am confused. Looking for feedback or maybe confirmation that I'm not crazy.

A client messaged me for a phone session. We discussed for a bit, he seemed nice, had good karma. We set a time, and agreed on my virtual rate of half my in-person rate.

I gave him my number, said to let me know if he had any questions leading up to the session. He was kind of odd in texts, like asking if we could be friends and using pet names. Nothing overtly inappropriate, so I just steered it to the professional and continued to refer to him as a client and answered questions professionally.

An hour before the session, I checked in to confirm. And he responded by asking if I could lower the rate for him. I told him the session is booked, the rate is set and I will be charged the percentage of that rate.

I also let him know that it reflects poorly on me as a professional if I cancel within an hour of the session, and suggested he cancel it if the financial end doesn't work today.

He said that "Oh okay I completely understand because I know some people on the site are different of how they do it. Lol". I have absolutely no clue what that means.

I asked him to clarify. No response. I let him know that while I try to avoid leaving negative karma, this exchange was disrespectful of my time and would be an unfortunate situation for other professionals (which is the purpose of karma). No response.

I come to CC and he's blocked me. I reported him, with screenshots of him asking for a lower rate and my responses. I don't know if it's directly violating TOS to block someone you know is going to leave bad karma. But it seems like it should be?

But what on earth was that?? And should I have done something different?

Comments

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited August 2025

    He's a boundary pusher. He may just get a kick out of getting you to agree to a lower rate (and then no-show) or he may push further and further in whatever direction is his particular interest. You're not crazy, it's a standard Thing.

    Incidents like pet names, talking about being friends, etc., can be forgiven in total precisely once, if you want to. It's usually best to deliver a short, polite, friendly lecture on professionalism (rather that remaining professional yourself but otherwise ignoring it). Good clients respond with apologies and don't do it again. Bad clients fly off the handle. Creeps apologise and do do it again, or push a different boundary. If there are two incidents of that kind, I would suggest Block and Report.

    It's nothing to do with cuddling by the way, or you. A number of industries and activities suffer from this kind of thing.

  • AlyLaurenAlyLauren

    I think you're right @CuddleDuncan

    Should have been more clear the first time he said something that sounded personal. He probably would have cancelled then and saved me some time. 😂

    I did report. I am curious what he meant by people doing things differently. And he has multiple 5 star karmas saying he's the sweetest! Total mystery.

    All good though! I'd rather have some time wasted than end up on the phone or video with a weirdo.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Yeah, I think that's spot on.

    What he probably meant was that there are some 'professionals' the site who offer non-platonic services for a higher rate. The original session is often cancelled because such unscrupulous people don't want to pay the site's fee. Some of these professionals are genuinely 'two-hatted' and are happy to provide platonic or non-platonic depending on the client's preference. Others are simply sex workers. Both of these are banned immediately upon discovery, which happens not so much daily as hourly.

    Five star Karma from a professional, particularly a professional who was young or inexperienced at the time, means little more than, "he didn't actually assault me during the session". Many people - especially when new and trying to build a client base - will write five star for clients who were problematic but not actually dangerous because they are afraid of 'revenge karma' if they don't. This is especially true if the client is the manipulative type, and the professional is vulnerable to that. In truth, malicious or false karma is routinely deleted by the Mods.

  • AlyLaurenAlyLauren

    I trust the mods, to be honest. So I don't worry too much. I know that I'm behaving correctly and everyone who is also behaving correctly is respectful and kind to me and seems to like me. 😂

    I keep all my conversations, both on here and my logistical chats via text for clients. If someone wanted to leave nasty karma as retaliation, I'm sure I'd be fine.

    I have zero ethical or moral judgments about sex work. I would just like it to be happening where it's supposed to happen, instead of here. It's a bummer that we all have to deal with both clients and professionals making this community confusing and less safe. I don't enjoy the clients who expect sex work, but I'm really bummed by the pros who are encouraging those clients!

  • [Deleted User]CravingHugs (deleted user)
    edited August 2025

    All I can think is that he wants a specific thing in the session like role play? That you're good friends who even have pet names for each other to give the feeling of a connection?

    Maybe when you didn't want to do that & tried to push a more professional session he didn't want to do it that way so rather than cancel asked could you do a lower rate for the professional session as it's not how he wanted it? Possibly other Pro's have indulged the good friend role play & that's what he meant by doing things differently?

    It could be maybe a clash of personality where your styles of doing things are completely opposed so it's been a big misunderstanding of what you were both expecting to happen? The mention of negative Karma caused Him to freak out & block you & maybe He doesn't understand what happened either or he feels like it was you who changed the goal posts last minute as he's not had someone feel uncomfortable with it before?

    I don't know if you'd clarified with Him before the session time came closer what he actually expected from it & what you were expecting to provide as assumption can sometimes cause problems? The proximity to the actual session & you both realising it wasn't what you were expecting causing a weird feeling?

    I know that's a lot of maybe's on my part but it's all I can think of to explain how something could go awry like that whilst someone has good karma from others. It's also me trying to maintain a middle ground that maybe it was misunderstanding rather than ill intent as I'm usually a see both sides kind of person.

  • AlyLaurenAlyLauren

    Well role-playing definitely sounds like fetish or other inappropriate asks for a phone session. But if he did want to "role-play" being friends, that is something he was responsible for communicating and getting consent for. Even if I was willing to engage in that, not like I can if I'm unaware of it.

    I feel like in discussing "ways of doing things" and "goal posts" what we're talking about is me behaving appropriately, following TOS and being exclusively a platonic cuddler. While he is not.

    So in that sense, yes. We were misaligned. 😂

  • pmvinespmvines

    @AlyLauren

    Sure, because it's obviously your fault and because of something that you did wrong , right ?

  • AlyLaurenAlyLauren

    @pmvines yes of course. Lol

  • [Deleted User]CravingHugs (deleted user)
    edited August 2025

    You're asking for feedback to try to understand so I'm just trying to give another view point & not just blindly agree. Are you looking for other views or just confirmation you're right?

    You're in a Profession where you're dealing with potentially very lonely & potentially very fragile people who don't always make the best decisions.

    Platonic: intimate and affectionate but not sexual.

    Someone wanting to role play as close friends isn't necessarily "fetish" as it may not be sexual at all, you'd only have found that out as the session went ahead. I'd say it's not a very healthy thing but maybe it helps that person, we're all different.

    I'm not saying you did anything wrong in a very black & white sense but the TOS from what I've seen in the client FAQ does seem open to some interpretation so if you don't currently set out clearly your boundaries at the start of the contact with someone you may both have different ideas of the TOS.

    Good karma from others may not mean conforming to your interpretation of the TOS as they may be comfortable doing something they see as platonic that you don't.

    If you did state your rules first that then this was his fault for ignoring YOUR rules. Beyond that at worst he was someone trying to push boundaries who wanted to turn things sexual & at best he's a lonely person trying to feel some sort of temporary connection in a way that you didn't feel comfortable with & it all went sideways.

    You won't really know 100% either way is it didn't get that far.

  • GuyverGordonGuyverGordon
    edited August 2025

    @AlyLauren
    Yeah this obviously your fault for not listing every boundary you have. (And you only having boundaries listed in your profile; they need to be plastered EVERYWHERE 😶) For your convenience, I have listed other things you may want to consider as possible other boundaries as to not lead others on in the future:
    1. Throwing pokeballs at you while in a virtual session. (Virtual assault and obviously trying to make you his possession)
    2. Petting the screen in the direct spot you are located. (That is just creepy)
    3. Chatting to you in wingdings. (you have no idea the things he is saying)
    4. Thumbsucking. (obvious reasons)
    5. Picking booger berries. (That snot good)
    6. Playing huniepop. (Or like-minded "dating" simulators)
    7. Camera licking. (Because gross)
    8. Body swapping. (Because why)

    These of course aren't the only things you should be thinking about. Make sure you include these and more in you next profile update and then make sure this list gets handed out to every one of your contacts to ensure you dont make this miscommunication error again.

    Joking aside, here is your confirmation from me that you are not crazy ....... at least not in this instance 😅)

  • AlyLaurenAlyLauren

    @GuyverGordon you're right!

    BRB, updating my profile with this info. Can't believe I forgot to mention the pokeballs! Could have been a risky situation 😂

  • GuyverGordonGuyverGordon

    (I had started up pokemon go again ... it was the first silly thing I could come up with 😅 ...

    I feel like i had better examples when i first was about to comment but by the time i actually did i forgot all the better ones 🫠)

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