Help me understand

Platypus2600Platypus2600
in Pro Cuddling

When men will pay $250/hr for a cuddle and $100/hr for a virtual video conversation, how are we not talking about the fact that this world is so broken right now, and trying to come up with ways that we can fix it? I work in IT, and I know I'd be out of a job, but I truly look forward to the day a solar flare wipes out the power grid and forces us to start talking to each other in person again and working together to build a meaningful existence.

And yes, I'm being dramatic, but since when did meeting someone in the real world become creepy and meeting someone online become a safe bet? A lot of us have been closer to someone we just met off the internet than people we have known for years. Not to mention the entire demographic of people who would rather pay $500 to "connect" with with a random person rather than put in the effort to maintain real, deep, meaningful relationships.

There has to be a way to fix this lonely epidemic and single-serving "friendships"

  1. Am I the only one that thinks the world is broken?28 votes
    1. Yes, go get a life.
      14.29%
    2. No, but no one cares.
        7.14%
    3. No, but we can't fix it.
      17.86%
    4. My life is pretty good, I'm not sure what's wrong with you.
      21.43%
    5. Just plain, nope.
      14.29%
    6. Why can't I delete these empty poll options. :-)
      25.00%

Comments

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited September 2025

    You don't have to pay to spend time with people . That's an option, and a choice. Not a requirement. I get the gist of what you're saying, but it's really coming across more like you're ranting about cuddle pros rather than making commentary about the human relationship dynamic.

    Also, just because you feel a certain way about it doesn't mean that someone who doesn't feel the same way you do is wrong. And you are presenting it as though there is something wrong with folks who do see cuddle pros as an asset and who do utilize their services. There is nothing wrong with that, and it's a bit disrespectful to imply that there is. Different strokes, needs and preferences.

  • TxTomTxTom

    You can pay to cuddle with a Pro.

    Or you can build rapport with a cuddle enthusiast and pay nothing.

    Or you can get out of the house for a while and meet someone for free at a bookstore, coffee shop, library, farmer's market, grocery store, etc.

    The choice is yours. No solar flare necessary.

  • Platypus2600Platypus2600

    @pmvines If I was ranting about cuddle pro's, then I would have mentioned cuddle pro's. I said men are willing to pay. I'm asking the question, doesn't it feel a bit weird that men are willing to pay that much for a cuddle? I have zero issue affording that price for a cuddle, but as you mention, its a choice and I'm choosing to spend it elsewhere.
    And I never said if you don't agree with me you're wrong. Why on earth would you even suggest that? This is meant to be an open forum to discuss things. If you don't think the world is broken in any way right now, then please, make a case for it, but don't argue that I'm being disrespectful when I make a case that it's a bit crazy that folks are willing to spend so much for the company of another human.

    @TxTom Thank you for pointing out obvious options. I'm not suggesting that I or others don't have those options. I'm just asking if anyone else sees the fact that cuddling has become so lucrative, that it begs the question, is there something wrong with society right now that we even have to connect this way? The idea that you think people are having regular cuddles with enthusiasts clearly shows you are a bit checked out. There have been countless posts on here about the simply fact that enthusiasts are far and few between in most areas.

  • DarlingNikkiiDarlingNikkii
    edited September 2025

    [deleted by myself]

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    Some people find it beneficial to pay because it’s more immediate. A lot of my cuddlers say they don’t have time or energy to spend in getting to know people outside in their daily lives to a point where they can cuddle. Having a pro allows them to have an almost immediate physical connection and tick a box off. Others have told me that they have women in their lives that would cuddle them but they would want a relationship or something more out of it and they don’t want that.

    I think every human deserves to have food but we still pay for that necessity. People deserve to have affection and some pay for it. As others have said, different strokes, different folks. That doesn’t mean that people aren’t out in the real world meeting people and talking and connecting and creating friendships. I go out for karaoke, or billiards, or line dancing or euchre. All walks of life are out and about meeting each other and creating relationships.

    For those that might find it daunting to be out in the real world trying to harvest connections, paying for pros has helped to boost their confidence and their moods, clearing their minds and eventually using that confidence to get out there to meet people.

    There are a lot more positives to it as opposed to negatives. Are there some pros out there that are taking advantage of men? Yes. Are men out there taking advantage of women? Yes. But I still find there to be more upside as opposed to downside.

  • Platypus2600Platypus2600

    @Sheena123 All very valid points, and you charge a reasonable rate. I've cuddled with many folks around your rate, and I completely agree with everything you are saying. In fact, I've been single for far more years than I care to admit and I don't see that changing any time soon, but I'd like it to. However, the dating world is also broken, I hear that over and over and over again from both men and women. Thus I will probably cuddle with a pro for some time. I'm single for a multitude of reasons, but right now feels so disconnected in an insanely connected world.

    But none of that makes my point less valid. If I want to experience touch therapy that is admittedly a bandaid to my actual problem, I have to create a budget line item for it. And even pmvines himself said in another thread recently that cuddling can actually make your loneliness worse at times. And I totally agree. Cuddling easily can just stir up those emotions of wanting someone for a more deep and meaningful life together. I want to be in a committed relationship, and I look forward to the challenges that will bring.

    All I'm trying to say is, the world feels broken. And maybe that's just my experience due to having my own personal, physical or mental issues, being considerably less than classically attractive, or low self-esteem, or just having to navigate a million other hardships that a lot of people experience. But I still think the world is a bit broken right now.

  • Platypus2600Platypus2600

    @NikkiFM Yeah, that too... exactly.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)
    edited September 2025

    @Platypus2600 As I am sure you already know, it's a supply and demand question. There are way more men than women out there looking to hop into bed with next to a complete stranger. A female enthusiast gets bombarded every day with offers of free cuddles. They have no need to hire someone, although a small number do. If a man wants a cuddle without first interesting an enthusiast and spending months building a relationship, a pro is an option.

    One analogy is this. Everyone needs to eat. Some people have the time and patience to grow their own food. Most opt to buy it for convenience and immediate gratification.

    While it is not inaccurate to assign some blame to online for the plague of loneliness, there were articles all over pre-Internet about how people could live in big cities and still be lonely, entire apartment buildings where no one knew their neighbors, etc. Your solar flare won't solve that problem, and will in fact make it worse for introverts.

    Bluntly, you can't put genies back in bottles. If you object to the idea of meeting people online instead of offline, why are you on a site about meeting people online?

  • bluefish281bluefish281

    It's hard to meet people these days outside of online resources. All you can do is meet people at work or find a hobby. Finding someone to cuddle with is difficult especially if you just want to cuddle without the other things that usually come with it. It's unfortunate but it is what it is. If someone wants it bad enough to pay for it then it's good pro cuddling exists so they can "scratch that itch."

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @bluefish281 You're right. And most work friends disappear the second you're laid off.

  • Platypus2600Platypus2600
    edited September 2025

    @WriterGF your right, nothing is wrong and this is how is meant to be.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    Blame it on the internet.
    That’s where you learn what people really think and feel, because it’s generally anonymous and so much of it is a bit crazy to me at least.
    There’s so much that I wish I had never known. Innocence was bliss. But reading opinions feels like watching a train wreck, probably should look away.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)
    edited September 2025

    @Platypus2600 Meant to be? Who knows? But "is," yes, this is how it is. You have the choice on whether to meet people this way or not. Nobody is forcing you to go the online route.

    I compare it to AI. I don't much like it, I avoid using it in my work, but it is a fact of life. For now, those who like it can use it and those who don't can opt out. Not sure how long that will be the case, but it's not going to go away to please me.

  • Comet85Comet85

    I’m pretty new to this site but I’ve really appreciated the ability to book time with a cuddler because my anxiety and other issues would make it impossible to approach a stranger in real life at this stage, there’s too much uncertainty and opportunity for rejection. With a cuddler on this site, so much of the uncertainty is answered up front and easily. A cuddler is already telling me they’re open to this kind of connection. We each have a profile where we can describe ourselves and what we’re looking for out of the interaction, and see if our personalities and needs may match. The duration and boundaries are also clearly communicated up front so there’s no confusion. I’m more comfortable to drop my masking. I recognize that it’s a baby step toward more traditional social interactions, but I need a baby step right now.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @Comet85 Glad to hear it's meeting your needs.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited September 2025

    @Platypus0110

    You don't have to explicitly mention the words cuddle pro to be coming off like a low key rant about cuddle pros. You're wanting to make a rant thread and then become defensive when somebody didn't join in your rant. You are ranting about how wrong you feel it is that people are willing to pay for cuddle services, and that it means that they and society are broken. When in reality it's just that they are choosing to hire a cuddler because it is there as an option for them to utilize. Whatever their reasons are for doing it are their own, and don't require you to agree or approve. You can read into however you like and assign it with whatever problematic and undesirable characteristics that you like. It's your opinion after all. However, your opinions are not above reproach. And implying that you are somehow forced into this when it is only merely offered as an option and there are so many other avenues if you don't wish to hire a cuddler is rather self victimizing. You have options. It's not even an argument or debate.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne
    edited September 2025

    @pmvines
    Well written clarification.
    Here are my thoughts on Opinions:
    It is my opinion that people sometimes state as fact what is only their opinion.
    I know I’ve been guilty of it also but I do try to remember to qualify my comments as opinions only.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @g_w_t_w

    I think we all do that sometimes, I know I have to make a concerted effort to not project my truth onto others. Which is hard when you're passionate about something

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz
    edited October 2025

    @Platypus2600 I agree. I feel like it's a sad state of affairs (the society that requires the need, not the people needing the service). This service will always be needed to a point - seeing a true professional is greatly beneficial for many situations, people coming from abusive situations trying to reestablish trust in consensual contact, people struggling with anxiety and different mental illnesses, some people have no interest in a two-sided cuddle relationship and just want to meet their cuddle needs one day and go back to their life the next day, etc, etc - but the fact that we live in such a disconnected world, a judgmental world, a world with such a poor relationship with touch (in general), that people who want more can't get those needs met in their daily relationships, that's what I find sad. I'm an INFJ (introverted, but LOVE one-on-one connections, and require deep honest conversations in relationships) and a little spectrumy. I find day to day relationships exhausting to find and develop. All I want is to build friendships to a real conversation level and darn does it feel impossible sometimes just to get past superficiality. People can't handle the messy Michelle (me). They just want the societally presentable, happy, warm, compassionate, there for everyone else, Michelle. Where can we be our full authentic honest selves? Not many places usually. People think cuddling is about physical cuddling, but it's actually more about feeling safe. We do not really live in an emotionally safe place right not, and that is what is broken and sad.

    @WriterGF "They have no need to hire someone" I feel like people who think this about women don't truly underestand the vast benefits of working with a (GOOD) professional cuddler. There are many times in my life I would have loved a professional cuddler, if I had access to a very high quality one that is the type I would be looking for. It's not just about finding someone willing to lie next to you and cuddle (for most people). If it were just about that, then you would be right. There are SO many benefits to a session with a quality professional aside from just a warm body, and women need that just as much as men do.
    personal web link removed. -Stormy

    • How many times have I run into a friend with a need to share something that's going on with me, that I'm having a hard time with, they have their own need of the same, and they start first, I need to be a friend also? A professional is there solely for whatever my needs are in that moment (within the confines of boundaries of course)
    • How many times when you're cuddling with someone, and you only want to cuddle, and you start to feel like they're wanting more, or they're wanting a full relationship, etc, feelings always start to affect things? A (good) professional is there with boundaries, you don't have to worry about their motivation or intent (if they're a good one), you don't have to be sidetracked with keeping track of what is going on in their minds in relation to all this.
    • How many times when you try to add cuddling to a relationship, with no interest or intention to change anything else in the relationship, does the person then turn around the next day with greater requests of you and the relationship? A cuddle with a professional is made equitable with money, they will not require you to text periodically, check in with how they're doing, put any emotional labor into the relationship, or even cuddle more than you want to cuddle.

    @Comet85 You've got it spot on. =)

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @ubergigglefritz Thank you for the thoughtful response. How do you reconcile your very valid points with the fact that male pros do virtually no business here?

  • LadyVelLadyVel

    @WriterGF Most male pros only offer to cuddle women, not everyone. Enthusiast women tend to find one or a couple people they can get to know to cuddle and don't Stray from that.
    I have seen at least one request for a male pro.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @WriterGF Thanks for the response. 💜
    1. Women, just as much as men, undervalue cuddling with a professional. They think that it's just about cuddling with someone. They don't always think about all the benefits of working with a professional, as I went through.
    2. In addition, for me, the number of quality professionals available is limited in most areas. I am VERY picky about authenticity and most cuddlers I have interacted with have not met my requirements there. If I needed a cuddle session, I don't know who I would even ask.

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