Why are there not enough enthusiasts?

TonycTonyc
in General

Good Afternon fellow cuddlers. In the NYC metro area I've noticed that the pro to enthusiast (female) ratio is about 7 to 1. So for every female enthusiast there are 7 pros. There were other similar discussions on this topic in other posts. But why is that? I'd be interested in hearing from females on this question .

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)
    edited August 2018

    Did you read them? There are plenty of female perspectives given throughout.
    Also, the question presumes, or somehow suggests that there is an inbalance where there is none.
    Why are there 7 navy men in every bar, where there are only 1 marine? That question is as valid as the one you pose.
    Also, you are basically telling all the women here, that you can't be bothered to read. You want them all to do the work again, and repeat themselves.
    Just calling it like I see it. Sorry for ruffled tailfeathers,

  • quietman775quietman775
    edited August 2018

    Hi @Tonyc I would question the initial premise.

    I just did a search for female cuddlers located within 50 miles of New York City, aged 18-55, who have logged in within the last month. Those with photos numbered 32. When I expanded the search to include female enthusiasts without photos, the number rose to 54. Meanwhile, the number of pros with the same parameters topped out at 49. So that's hardly a 7-1 disparity in favor of pros. though there were in fact 53% more pros than there were enthusiasts with photos. Dump the picture requirement and there were 10% more enthusiast women than there were pros.

    Of course, we can change these numbers by tweaking the search parameters. If you only want enthusiasts within 5 miles of NYC, aged 25-28, and logged in within the past week, I'd expect the results to be different. So ... broaden your search parameters? When it comes to cuddling, it's probably better to adapt to reality than to ask why it is the way it is. ;-)

    BTW, you may be interested in the thread @respectful posted called "U.S. State comparisons." On the date he ran the numbers, New York state had 2,335 members, of which 422 were women (18%), and only 92 were pros. The idea that pros outnumber enthusiasts is an illusion. Pros are typically more active on the forum, and active pros log in to the site more frequently than most enthusiasts ... but they don't come anywhere near outnumbering them.

  • [Deleted User]TeddyBear81 (deleted user)

    @galowglass
    Why don't you do those females a favor and link us to their comments. :-)

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)
    edited August 2018

    and let me get the reward for your initiative? great plan. grin
    I wouldn't dream of it!

  • AndiCuddlesAndiCuddles

    I second looking at @respectful’s stats.

    I also recommend reading my recent thread.

  • awaitingawaiting

    Because cuddling is now percieved as dirty due to some pervs.

    I am shocked to see so many banned members.

    Yeesh

  • [Deleted User]Spoonie (deleted user)

    To quote British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.". While you may have some data that shows only 53% more pros than “enthusiasts “, any male actively participating on this board knows that not to be true.

    Likely, the vast majority of enthusiast’s you found were “lookie loo’s” who signed up just to see what the site was about, or are pros operating under the radar. The number of actively participating female “enthusiasts “ in New York or any major metropolitan area is a small percentage of what you quote. Furthermore, I would guess that female enthusiasts that are active see a fraction of the men that a pro would on average. A case could be made, depending on having complete data, that the 7-1 ratio is conservative.

  • TonycTonyc

    Thank you for your comments. A search in the NYc metro 18-55 women cuddling men within 100 miles and last logged on within a Week, will yield those ratios I mentioned. There are a lot of "lookie lookers" that wants to see what this site is about, but those accounts are short lived. So naturally what remains are the "pros". Im not here trying to understand why the pros do it or whatever their justifications are . I'm merely stating that the pros outnumber enthusiasts but such a large ratio.

    I know there are pros that will fall into either end of the spectrum, however, given the share ratio I mentioned, my optinion is that cuddling is become a commodity, like massages at the spa.

    So the question again is where are the enthusiasts?

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited August 2018

    Where are the female enthusiasts? Here are my thoughts ... Theory 1: Because male members vastly outnumber female members, females can quickly find a cuddle partner. I've seen new female members get Karma within a couple of weeks. So I imagine they find suitable cuddle buddies and then have no need to come back to the site. Theory 2: Female enthusiasts see that pros are charging $80, $100 or more dollars per hour and then say to themselves "why do something for free when I can get paid?", so they become pros. I've also heard that some female enthusiasts leave the site because they get too many or the wrong kind of messages.

  • tallteddytallteddy

    There's 1 pro in my country. There's more enthusiasts but I think the ratio male to female is so much off, it's still hard to find someone. I'm not complaining, but it's what you can expect around here.

  • respectfulrespectful
    edited August 2018

    @TonyC Personally I would go back at least a month or two rather than just one week ... enthusiasts can still be active but not log on every week. I've had replies from people who hadn't been online for nine months. It's hard to know where to draw the line for "active" though.

  • TonycTonyc

    @ukguy Yes I agree with your statement that female enthusiasts are bombarded with messages. I confirmed that by meeting with an enthusiast that turned pro. Once she turned pro, the messages dropped significantly. And second, also agree that why do it for free when money can be made due to fact that female enthusiasts are constantly propositioned. Thus, turning cuddles into a commodity. However, once they become pro the propositions drop off.

    @respectful. Yes going back over longer periods do reduce the ratio, however, I suspect that most females sign up, get bombarded with messages (both inappropriate and welcoming), then leave or deactivate their account. It's unfortunate.

    Perhaps it's the males that are driving away the enthusiasts (my theory)?

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    Cuz money, honey?

  • sausalitosausalito

    If you're good at something never do it for free - Joker

    Unfortunately some of the paid ones give off an all business vibe during sessions lol.

  • Kai816Kai816

    @AndiCuddles @galowglass
    @quietman775
    Enough said. Well thought out responses and statistics.
    I see I’m not needed here ?

  • BabichevBabichev

    Why are there not more female enthusiasts? Probably because this is not something that's normally done - cuddling strangers - and women are generally fearful and not trusting of men they don't know. Shoot, they're fearful and not trusting of men they do know. Let's face it, the experience of many women is that most men they meet are looking for more than cuddles so it's not easy to trust that a stranger is truly going to be contented with that. I think it should be pretty obvious why there aren't more women. A better question to ask would be what would it take to create an environment where women felt safe?

  • TonycTonyc

    @Banichev. Nice segway into the follow up "what would it take to make it safe for females?" So, you as s female enthusiast, what would make you feel safe?

  • BabichevBabichev

    Good question.

    Someone who initiates some interesting conversation. Not diving right into cuddling but maybe making comments directly about something I said in my profile, or why they thought I seemed interesting, or what brought them to this site, or something interesting about themselves. That makes for a good beginning.

    Having a profile that's filled out, with a photo, that tells a little about themselves.

    Being understanding about why a woman may want to proceed with caution, not being pushy. And behaving impeccably, not pushing boundaries when we do meet. Those are the kinds of things that make me feel safe.

    What makes me feel more cautious: asking me to cuddle in the first message, asking me for more photos (I've got two on my profile already, they can see what I look like), sending a shirtless photo, talking about doing massage before we've even met or have barely had any conversation, asking me to meet them at their place, not being willing to meet in a public place.

  • ron4uron4u

    @Babichev 65 and still cuddling. Wow. You are an enthusiast indeed!

  • DawnstarrDawnstarr

    I am a new female and when I joined I received a large amount on response. Three so far want more then cuddling! Really!!! Can’t I just get some clean male human touch????

  • DawnstarrDawnstarr
    edited August 2018

    Removed inappropriate photo

    This is what I received!

  • DawnstarrDawnstarr

    What is wrong with this world??

  • DawnstarrDawnstarr

    Cuddlemerough butt

  • snuggleup101snuggleup101

    But I see Cuddlemerough is listed as a friend on your profile, Dawnstarr. Did he post that? I'm not really sure how people end up in those Friend and Karma categories, but whenever I check them on a man's profile I find a professional. I'm new to this site and had the same barrage of messages within a minute of joining. It's sad for men that there are so few women, but I agree that creates a male eagerness that can feel threatening. Men, we like to know you're interested, but a respectful show of interest that is more than one sentence and a well written profile count most. Women tend to respond to words, while men respond to images. Think like a woman to get a woman's interest.

  • BabichevBabichev

    @ron4u "@Babichev 65 and still cuddling. Wow. You are an enthusiast indeed!"

    I ain't dead yet! You're never too old to cuddle!

  • BabichevBabichev

    @snuggleup101 - I wish we had a "like" feature here like on FB, I'l "like" your comment! Well said.

    So, how do people decide about "friends" here? What does that mean here?

  • TonycTonyc

    @Dawnstarr That was really funny of the pic.

  • quietman775quietman775
    edited August 2018

    @snuggleup101 and @Babichev Here is how the "Friends" thing works. Someone is reading your profile and likes what they see. In the upper right hand corner of your profile is a box with three dots in it. clicking that box reveals three options: add as friend, block, and report. If you click "Add as friend," the person receives a friend request from you. They do not appear on your Friends list unless and until you click to accept their request. It works the same regardless of whether either or both parties are pros or enthusiasts.

    It's really like most other social media platforms in this regard. Some people only send friend requests to people they have talked to and with whom they have built up some online rapport. Others send requests to everybody under the sun. I tend to friend people if I've liked some of their forum comments and exchanged a message or three with them. You can unfriend someone by going to your own Friends list and clicking "remove friend" next to any profile that appears on the list. And yeah, if they were sending me inappropriate pics, I probably wouldn't be keeping them on my friends list. If you're disgusted by their actions, unfriend and block. Onward and upward.

    @Dawnstarr Augghhh!! I can't unsee that!

  • DawnstarrDawnstarr

    Sorry but this is what my first three Experiences that I have received on this site. I also believe hugs should be free!

  • respectfulrespectful
    edited August 2018

    @Dawnstarr I hope you find some respectful men and experience what this site is all about soon -- innocent platonic cuddling.

    About hugs and cuddles being free: I get that (and the more enthusiasts the better!), but personally I am incredibly grateful for the existence of professional cuddlers. Being paid means they are available to cuddle many more people than they might otherwise be able to. There are some questions about this kind of thing in the new FAQ under Professionals.

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