Misconceptions about cuddling? Would love your input!

CatloafCatloaf
edited August 2018 in General

Hello CC,

Some of you may or may not be aware that I am working on my own cuddle blog which exists alongside my online booking form. It has a very long way to go aesthetically and materialistically and I am currently in the process of dusting off some writing pieces kept on the backburner... 10, in fact, and not all are easy to write for.

My goal in writing this blog is to connect with mainstream onlookers... At one point, I too thought platonic cuddles and the like were a joke and a sexual assault case waiting to happen. Discovering the opposite in my journey, and facing a Writer's Block that has lasted nearly a decade has inspired me to try and reach out to naysayers in my city, province, and country and give them a different perspective from someone who was initially on that skeptical side of the fence.

Today I'd love to turn to you all and ask you for input on one piece which is basically all about the facts and myths surrounding platonic cuddles. I am welcoming perspectives from both pros and enthusiasts, although it's my personal belief that pros and those who enlist them are dealt the most blows with regards to being laughed at, or eyerolled in the general public. Some of the mindsets presented do apply to perception of pros, or enthusiasts, or both.

The piece hasn't been written yet and is still in planning stages. So that's why I've come to you, to see if there are any "myths" I haven't hit yet. For instance, can you think of something that an outsider would typically say, or come to think about cuddling that is contradicted by fact or logic?

Let me know in your reply if I can quote your opinion, since it would be nice to include voices other than my own.

Here is a screenshot of what I've thought of so far... (yes, #8 is a real presumption I have heard from a couple people... #6 is not to downplay the effects of cuddling, but there is a lot of info out there about the effects of that are hype-based and have neither been studied in depth or at all, and have no credible peer-reviewed research to back it up, at least as far as I have found... There are, ironically, also a lot of pseudoscientific myths spread about the effects of oxytocin release... )


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Comments

  • BabichevBabichev

    In my personal life, some of my friends are cuddly and some have had cuddle parties. I love it. In my professional life (I am in healthcare, not a professional cuddler), the subject has come up periodically and the usual reaction is just as you describe: professional cuddlers are thinly veiled prostitutes, cuddling should be free, anyone who has to pay for cuddling is pathetic, anyone who seeks a professional cuddler is looking for sex. Sometimes I speak out about it, sometimes I don't because of the politics of the situation.

    I've also read articles online about professional cuddlers and it usually focuses on bad experiences. It does not create a good impression.

    I'd love to hear more about professional cuddler's experiences and also the experiences of non-professionals.

  • respectfulrespectful
    edited August 2018

    @Catloaf

    One myth that seems to come up every so often is that seeing a professional cuddler is paying for affection, i.e. that pros could not possibly have genuine care and affection when cuddling and must be faking it.

    Some thoughts about myth #3 (people seeking cuddles are pathetic/weird) here and #4 (cuddling can't be platonic) here, and myth #6 (cuddling is a guaranteed cure for depression) here. That's an interesting one though; cuddling really can impact people a lot.

    A lesser version of myth #4 is that cuddling always involves romance.

    One more: professional cuddlers are paid to just lie there, so it must be the easiest job in the world.

    Let me know in your reply if I can quote your opinion

    Yep. :)

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)

    Some of my commects echo or are similar to what @respectful and others have said.

    Some comments on your list:
    Myth#1, remove the word cute. not relevant to the question and it's less distracting, and more to-the-point.
    Myth#2, It isn't necessarily a "preference". Some times it is a choice and sometimes it is an only or best option.
    Myth#6, This isn't always a myth. If people thought it could-not have a tremendous effect, then it would be a myth.

    Additional Myths:

    • You are paying for the time, only. - Nope. There is so much prep work, there is the sudo (or real)-friendship that allows positive progress in your physical and emotional health. This occurs when you continue to build trust and to learn about yourself, and to experience someone's undivided emotional attention. You most-often gain a confidant and that provides a healthy outlet for some of your "stuff". You are with someone (even if their motivation might be making money), who has made a choice to be there for you (within the boundries established). This is way more than paying for time.

    • Cuddles must be provided by your life-partner/spouse. - Nope!

    • Joining a cuddle site ensures that you will meet and be cuddled. - Nope. Not always.

    • "Needing cuddles" is some new-age BS. - Nope! It's an evolutionary thing which contributed to the survival of the species (at least those of us who want to be whole people. grinning mischiviously.)

    • Needing/getting cuddles is weakness. - Nope! It means you are self-aware and willing to do the work to: heal, become stronger, take responsibility for your self-care/self-love, to become a better person, etc. People who seek out cuddles are often exercising a certain amount of bravery, risk-taking, trust-extending, bringing their own "love" to another person, etc.

    • You shouldn't have to pay for cuddles. - This isn't a myth but it's an incomplete characterization. Sometimes, going to someone who knows what they are doing, and isn't using the situation to satisfy their own cuddle needs, provides incredible, additional benefits and sometimes is a person's best option for a number of possible, personal reasons.

    Just some thoughts, Peace

  • CreativeCuddlesCreativeCuddles
    edited September 2018

    I would love to address them all but more specifically #9. “ You wil never see a woman seek a professional cuddler because they can have anyone they want for free. “

    If I wanted to cuddle with someone because I knew I could have anyone I want for free, that may be true but I also know what I am getting out of the cuddle I would pay for and the one I get for free. Not every woman has the power to do that nor does every woman that can, does. I would rather be guaranteed a no pressure non sex based cuddle than one where there may be a little more expectations. These cuddles I believe are more relaxed unless you have someone watching the clock and saying ok, times up! That would be like visiting one of your physicians. Your insurance pays 300$ you pay your copay but you still have 30 questions to ask in a 15 minute time frame and he’s not paying attention anyhow because his eyes are on the computer screen while he types half of what you say and half of that is incorrect anyhow. I don’t want my cuddlee to feel like he or she can’t talk because their time will run out. Not only do they want to cuddle but they need their thoughts and feelings validated whether they pay or not. The professional has an obligation to make you feel comfortable and hopefully the cuddlee comes into it with the same attitude. It takes both to make a comfortable and relaxed evening. How you act while in the presence of one another whether free or not tells a lot about your personality character and attitude. Plus I think you can feel the karma between the two of you and know whether you’d want to cuddle again!

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited August 2018

    One myth (or more accurately misconception) that has come up on the forums a few times is that cuddling can be a substitute for professional therapy. It won't necessarily hurt, but for people with serious behavioral or relationship issues, it's not a substitute for professional help.

  • Kai816Kai816

    @Catloaf
    I don’t know if this was mentioned by anyone else but another myth or truth in the eye of the client, is this is a DATING WEBSITE. Somewhere for men to meet potential girlfriends.
    A man who has since been banned, contacted me & right off the bat was asking me if my pics were recent. I read his bio... it said he was non judgemental.
    So I replied back with a pic of me holding a piece of paper with his name & profile ID. Then I said, if you’re non judgemental, why does it matter fact my pics are recent or not?
    He said because on OTHER DATING WEBSITES women have misrepresented themselves with old pics.
    I immediately replied that this wasn’t a DATING website.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @galowglass I LOVE your fifth bullet point. Myth #3 makes me incredibly sad to read or hear whenever it comes up. When it does, that's exactly the proof as to why this service is so beneficial to a lot of people. This world has turned into such a cold, harsh, judgmental place. Humans need to feel acceptance somewhere, and it's relatively normal to not have this in your life. Many people don't have someone they can be 100% themselves with, and thus feel truly accepted. The power of receiving that alone is pure magic. My opinion and what I have observed, of course. O:-)

    Not that there is much to quote, but you have my permission.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @galowglass Can I quote YOU? Lol.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    Good addition @UKGuy . Cuddling is great as a collaborative effort with a talk therapist, definitely shouldn't be done alone for someone who needs that kind of help.

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)

    You can quote, but feel free not to attibute it to me. Make it your own. grin (I probably came to those conclusions after rapping with you. grin)

  • CatloafCatloaf
    edited August 2018

    @respectful @galowglass
    Thank you guys for your input, and suggestions of more things to add in. A lot of it was stuff I wouldn't have even thought of, will post an updated version of the list. I really appreciate what you two have said especially on #6. It's tricky for me to even word that one the right way, as I do think it can have tremendous benefits in a person's life. But sadly there are indeed pro cuddlers who covertly make lofty health claims and promises where they have no business doing so. One example I can think of was that "cuddler" lady on the Dr. Phil show a few months ago, who said her mission initially was to reach out to people with depression, anxiety and PTSD. Based on the kind of imagery she uses on her sites, and Facebook etc., I would not trust that this is someone who can back up that mission statement. An extreme example, yes, but the basic premise is there - she's bought into the hype, and wants to capitalise off it in whatever way she can.

    It's also a bit of a call-out to the wishy washy, Buzzfeed-type news publications who are buying into the oxytocin hype, and title their articles with absolutes such as "Cuddling LITERALLY kills depression et al". No, it literally doesn't, but it can help if you are already in therapy, and doing your cuddles with someone who is mindful and aware of your mental illness and has at least a basal understanding of navigating those terrains. Otherwise a cuddle may effectively become a sort of contraindication; I have heard about this with clients who have Cluster B (personality) disorders and experience separation anxiety, where they have seen some girl who "wanted to help", but also is only doing this for cash to pay for upcoming tuition.

    As someone who suffers BPD, I too have experienced the same symptoms, and that may be why I get a little passionate about trying to make people understand that even in the long-term, cuddles simply won't do much of anything for the lot of us except make us feel good, and more safe in a particular moment... I know that during breakdowns, I have been called, and I am ready to be there for someone going through them because I have been (and still am) there myself. But what about the folks who "want to help", having no awareness? That is what I think opponents of cuddling-as-a-therapy are trying to get at.

    @UKGuy
    Although it isn't common, I too have seen some people say they want to provide this "as a form of therapy", or they say that more doctors should recommend it. There is a reason most don't. This isn't a therapy; it is an alternative practice that can be good in conjunction with actual therapy.

    @CreativeCuddles
    Your input on #9 has been noted and will be drawn upon for that section. :) I too think it's incredibly stupid the way some people make these assumptions about how easy it is for women to do something just because they're women. Or have these flawed ideas of how social dynamics actually work. Mostly I have seen this opinion coming from people who have had no such success finding a cuddle partner and are now frustrated, kind of like the guys who show up and suddenly start down-talking the presence of pros.

    @Kai816
    I considered adding this in too, although I didn't really think it fit at first. But honestly it really does, because that is probably a huge reason we have many inactive or deleted accounts on CC. People's intentions maybe don't line up with what the site actually exists for. While I love going for outings as part of a session, other sites really don't help with the way they market or brand themselves as being date-centric.

    UPDATED:


  • quietman775quietman775

    Quote: "I too think it's incredibly stupid the way some people make these assumptions about how easy it is for women to do something just because they're women."

    Well, I hope you won't describe it that way in your blog post, or whatever article you are writing up. It's needlessly harsh and antagonistic. In fairness, I think people who conclude that women would not pay for cuddles are making reasonable assumptions about supply and demand. If a woman wants to cuddle with men, and men who are eager to cuddle make up 80% of the population here, then women would not appear to NEED to pay for cuddles. That's not because of their gender; it's because of their numbers.

    There is a reason that the site requires male pros to pay a flat fee each month rather than pay the site 15% of session earnings. It's because the site assumes male pros will not generate revenue otherwise. This rule was apparently adopted after observation and experience. Women are NOT flocking to male pros for sessions, and they never have.

    The only reason point #9 is a myth is because you phrased it with the word "never." There are almost always exceptions to any general rule. If you worded it "You will generally not see women seeking a professional cuddler, because most can readily find cuddles on demand for free," then I wouldn't deem it a myth or a misconception at all.

    I'll be the first to admit that my conclusion might still be incorrect ... but it's not "incredibly stupid."

  • quietman775quietman775

    On the positive side, your point #6 is an important one. I've always thought some of the quasi-medical claims by the "lab coat cuddlers" were unsupported. Where are the rigorous, peer-reviewed studies in medical journals proving that cuddling is effective treatment for PTSD and depression, or that it is beneficial for those on the autism spectrum, or any of the other medical and psychological claims we regularly see? People advancing these therapeutic claims probably wouldn't like the kind of government regulation and oversight that would result if this were officially recognized as therapy. In an understandable effort to distance themselves from the more salacious assumptions in your list, some pros may have embraced a harmful fantasy. Cuddling is pleasant, enjoyable, relaxing, and fun. Perhaps that should be enough. :-)

  • CatloafCatloaf

    @quietman775

    Forgive me if I seem or sound rather hot-headed; you'd be right to assume it, because that's who I am. If I think something is truly stupid, I won't back down from saying that or "lighten the load" for those who don't like the phrasing. But no, I don't intend to write that up in my post anyway. ;)

    Honestly, the way I see it, there are two sides to this coin. You're right in that you can't generalise everybody who holds this belief that women will inevitably have it easier due to numbers. With point #9, I'm not talking about people who calmly make that observation in general, as it's a true one. Women do not tend to seek out for cuddle partners in general, for a myriad of reasons. I'm talking about those who hold a more negative, MGTOW/incel-type outlook that blankets the experiences of all women on any site. And being that this particular point is discussed in a lot of those types of forums where the "ridiculousness" of professional cuddling comes up, I felt it was indeed important to include the absolute words "never", "anyone", because that is literally what I have seen these types write.

    I do appreciate your insight and ENTIRELY agree with your stance on the pseudomedical claims. When I wrote my first rant about this on my website, a "competitor" who must have read it immediately started changing and adding things in on her website's front page about how Virginia Satir (author and psychologist/therapist) has stated we need "4 hugs a day for survival, 8 hugs a day for maintenance, 12 hugs a day for growth".

    While that's a lovely quote and all, Virginia Satir was a family therapist, so what I believe she might be referring to specifically calls to the effects of touch starvation as it relates to psychological development in children, not adults.

    There just needs to be more study done in this area before we can say that cuddling has any effect on altering the psyche whether that's "curing" it or simply alleviating symptoms. Even the concept of "therapeutic touch" which is employed by some cuddlers was debunked as pseudoscience by an 11-year-old pretty much a couple decades ago. It's quite an interesting case as this girl was the youngest in history, then and now, to have a peer-reviewed medical journal accept research.

  • AndiCuddlesAndiCuddles

    I like how you changed the wording on #6. Anecdotally, I’ve found that cuddling as a profession has reduced my anxiety. I think there are multiple reasons for that — some causal and some correlative, but that’s not science. On that subject, I have (generalized anxiety disorder) and cuddling has never cured it! I believe that unless we have major medical breakthroughs that I’ll probably have to take medication for anxiety for life in order to function some days and in some situations. And that’s with several years of CBT, DBT, and meditation under my belt! (Aside — I’m really sick of the idea(s) that yoga, meditation, exercise, spending more time outdoors, etc. etc. etc. will cure mental illness.)

    As far as women never needing to pay to cuddle... I understand the idea behind it, but I find the concept odd. I do view professional cuddling (done right) as similar to a massage. If I want the focus on me, I’ll definitely pay for professional cuddling! I think as professional cuddling becomes more mainstream more women will hire professional cuddlers. But that’s just my opinion. (Weirdly, even though I obviously cuddle mostly men, I’d prefer a female professional. I prefer the same for massage. It’s not a strong preference, but it’s there. And I’m not particularly body-conscious, so I’m not really sure why I have the preference.)

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)

    Just the difference in phermones could be enough subtle difference, if you were sensitive to that.
    I prefer female professionals in any health-related issue, I think they listen better. Even the few that have been real harda$$, Even they are easier for me to communicate with than any man doctor, nurse, etc.

  • respectfulrespectful

    @catloaf I'd be interested in facts about cuddling too ... your original title was Facts & Myths About Cuddling. Unless you just meant: "here are some myths, and here are the real facts."

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)
    edited August 2018

    There's a big thing missing here, from the topic of whether or not cuddling can cure anything.
    I've almost died twice. I've spent loads of time in the hospital, physical therapy, opiod issues from painkillers, other recovery and traumatic brain injury. I've had to make some really hard decisions related to health.

    The opiods were difficult. This happened 10 years ago, when they would hand them out like candy.
    I worried about the addictive aspects and related behaviours. My doctor told me I was dependant; not addicted. It didn't make getting off of them any easier.

    But under all the various treatments I went through, there was always this concept. QUALITY OF LIFE.
    Long-term pain, long-term-emotional-anguish, I could go on-and-on. I would not be here, if I had not improved my quality-of-life enough, to where recovery could actually happen.

    It may be, that there is no scientific proof that cuddles can "cure" anything. But, I'll bet that there are countless instances where cuddling has elevated someone's quality-of-life, to the point they could "go on", or move further down the road to some kind of recovery.

    Peace, Joy, acceptance, all those things that get brought up in our posts; they all CAN have a huge impact on our quality of life.

    I'll bet it has saved lives.
    Peace

    [edited for grammer]

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    Cheers @galowglass :-)

    I know that providing this for other people has saved me. I was emotionally dying a slow and painful death in a cube with minimal contact with others and no feeling of being appreciated at work. I have had tendencies towards depression my whole life and was really struggling with fulfillment issues the past many years. I haven't felt this level of happiness in a LONG time. My goal is to make this sustainable while maintaining my authenticity. Hopefully I can keep figuring it out...

  • BabichevBabichev

    @Catloaf - Regarding the Rosa study on Therapeutic Touch - that has nothing to do with actual physical contact. "Therapeutic Touch" is a modality which, ironically, doesn't even involve touch. It became quite popular with nurses for awhile. TT practitioners hold their hands above the recipient and claim they can feel and manipulate human energy fields. What Emily Rosa did was to have some TT practitioners sit behind a curtain, put their hands through it, and they had to decide over which hand they felt the presence of another human hand without actual touch. They failed miserably. Emily Rosa's study was a school science fair project but later she was encouraged to write this up as a piece of research. She is the youngest person ever to have been published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

    You can find out more about this by looking her up in Wikipedia, googling her name, or looking her up on YouTube.

    As for cuddling as therapy - it's well documented that humans and other mammals respond positively welcome gentle touch and focused attention. However, to make specific claims about cuddling - either with a professional, a nonprofessional stranger, or a nonprofessional acquaintance - would require specific research.

  • SnugglableJackySnugglableJacky

    Misconceptions would be a better term I think and would allow this to be better perceived.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    @SnugglableJacky

    Thanks for the suggestion. I updated the title in the thread and intend to do so with the actual post when I put it up, since after some thinking and writing, this piece is definitely going to be more of a debunking than anything. 'Facts' is a counterproductive add-in, and will make it long and drawn out.

    @respectful

    As per what I just wrote above, your comment actually gave me an idea to make a different blog post about facts, so like a continuation of this thought train. :) There is a lot of interesting info out there to be dug up, though I am definitely trying to stick to reputable sources that may even cite some peer-reviewed material. For that writing I'll need to do a good bit of research beyond Google searches, and sadly I have scanned many medical journals, and the majority of the in-depth studies on the effects of cuddling I have found are focused on infants. I did find some pretty good facts about the cuddly behavior of animals, though! Mammals are of course the only vertebrates that release oxytocin, so our habits for cuddling our young, our partners or our friends really are an important link for all species within our classification. If even animals have that basic instinct and need, then that is all the more reason for people to accept this movement.

    @galowglass I am so, so sorry to hear about your experience with your health issues and the effects medicine had on you. I hope you're much better. Unfortunately the stuff is still handed out like candy... We just had a provincial lawsuit come through here in Canada; British Columbia is going after 40 companies now since the costs of treating the opioid crisis there have become detrimental. And yes, that is what all of them say... "Dependence" on drugs is still somewhat a form of addiction in my eyes... I should essentially be on a rotation of benzodiazepines and antidepressants to manage my mental health, but my past dependence and eventual 3-year addiction to both diazepam and clonazepam was enough to make me never want to try that method of treatment again. I will stick to therapy and working towards mindfulness.

    What you say about an improved quality of life is SPOT ON as well. I would not doubt for a second that there are individuals who have learned to come out of their shell. Even more so there are others who were able to get the ball rolling or keep it rolling in regards to their healing process. It's a safe and reassuring space to be in with the right person; we don't need any kind of science to back that one up!

    @ubergigglefritz
    I am currently waving my hands in the air like a sanctified lady at church when I read that providing this service has saved you and given you a better feeling of purpose. I feel there are so many of us who came from a bad or unhappy spot, and happened upon this community as a crossroads to a better... quality of life, there it is again. I know since starting my business just shy of 2 years ago, I was clueless. I still have tons of learning to do. I too was overworked and under appreciated, touch-starved big time and I was actually engaging in harmful habits to try and rectify that. If the right person didn't come along, and didn't stand out in their request to simply just have a night of pure loving platony I might still be at my horrible 9-5, acting recklessly, less truly connected to others and with not as sound a mind...

    @AndiCuddles
    I am really happy to hear that it's helped your anxiety, and I can concur that it's helped my symptoms in the moment as well, in ways that CBT/DBT never even touched (currently trying MBT for my Borderline PD and it is such a vastly different experience for me... I think this may be The One, lol). I still think anecdotal evidence has its place, as per what you have to say about your experience. :3 Cuddles are universal to us, and we know they feel good and do good without needing a research paper to say so. Its effects on mental health are definitely there, but to what extent, and based on what controlled or manipulated variables? I think there should be more work done on understanding the long-term effects in adults (again, so many studies focus on infants, or couples in bad marriages etc) because I'm definitely not doubtful there are some.

    @Babichev
    Yeah, I remember reading about its brief popularity with nurses, and IIRC it was banned in 1999. I can't think of TT as anything but quackery, though there are still many who use it and claim it makes a difference. There are so many better and more reputable alternatives out there in my opinion, but I guess healing is often pursued like the glass slipper of Cinderella. I'm aware of one local Cuddle Party facilitator who does TT, along with sound baths and other alt stuff, and she is well-respected in the community. Then I see other cuddlers online who claim to give TT and I'm like, "are you sure you are using the right words here?"

  • respectfulrespectful
    edited August 2018

    @Catloaf "... an idea to make a different blog post about facts ..."

    That sounds very useful. In the Answering people who have doubts about cuddling thread I intended to add some stuff about medical benefits of cuddling etc. but I got a bit bogged down looking for something unarguable.

    There are some references to scientific articles near the beginning of the book Touch: The Power of Human Connection by Samantha Hess.

    You're doing some amazing work!

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited September 2018

    @Catloaf - All this talk about cuddling but has anyone actually defined what it is? I've heard people mention things like back scratching, neck and foot rubs, holding hands, running fingers through hair etc.. Is this cuddling? Or does cuddling have to include other forms of touch? How can you speculate on the benefits of something when you haven't even defined what it is?

    You also use the term 'professional cuddler'? What is a professional cuddler? As far as I'm aware, anyone can call themselves a professional cuddler. There are no training or licensing requirements as there are for other professions such as massage therapists.

    You need to be careful in evaluating people's opinions on how cuddling may have helped them. In scientific studies people have been given placebo pills and afterwards claimed that their condition improved. So often, if people think something is supposed to help them, they will claim it did help them.

  • AndiCuddlesAndiCuddles

    @UKGuy

    The general consensus is there’s 3 types of cuddling: 1.) body-to-body contact (e.g. hand holding, head on lap/shoulder, hugging, spooning, etc.), 2.) stroking, massage, gentle or firm touch that one person provides to the other, and 3.) the inverse of 2.

    As of now, a professional cuddler is someone who gets paid to cuddle. They do it as a profession, not a hobby. There are plenty of professions where you don’t have to be officially certified to be a professional, off the top of my head many artists fall into the same categories. (I welcome licensing, fwiw. Not arguing against it.)

    Interestingly, the placebo effect is not when someone thinks that a placebo works — but when it actually works. True, there’s no medicinal value in the placebo. But apparently it is sometimes enough to think that it works to actually make it work. Semantics. Just wanted to be clear.

  • ron4uron4u

    BIGGEST MISCONCEPTION

    Cuddling = Platonic

    IT IS 100 Percent NOT!!

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)

    @ron4u Ron, you've stated your beliefs on this several times. You keep trying to shout that message. We hear you. Your point is made. The message is falling on deaf ears now, though. If you want to keep shouting it, fine. But its starting to sound like a broken record and it very definately is your voice, passing-judgement on this community. Enough please.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    @UKGuy

    1. We can certainly compartmentalise and/or define the act of cuddling if we want to, but is it effective to do so and what is the purpose? The very words "platonic touch" do not denote anything specific other than the fact that it is non-sexual of course. You can probably think of 100 different ways to incorporate it and I definitely know this is true for cuddling given the amount of resources and literature on various ways to do it. My clients are treated as individuals, and some may have social or emotional needs that go a bit deeper than simply a desire for body contact or a backscratch. So in my opinion, there is no point in trying to concretely define it, as what constitutes as a cuddle is different for everyone. Defining boundaries, however... That seems more productive to do in my mind, and that kind of circles back to the individual's need, and also lends a bit of itself to define the act, if you will.

    2. It's not true that anyone can be a professional. Anyone can try, but judging by what others have said I don't think there are many who last long if they are not at least emotionally invested in (first) the hobby, and (second) the aspect of putting it to work. People who see raking in cash as the ultimate end to this experience (as far as I have heard and observed) usually last no longer than a few months, if that. I'm going to echo @AndiCuddles and say that at some point even it isn't soon, the industry will grow to an extent where legislation and regulations will need to be put in place, and like massage therapists, it will be a requirement to train and register in order to run a legitimate business. For now, that isn't the case because we are pushing ourselves out from a fringe corner of society - I often call the movement newborn, but given how niche it currently is, I think we may still be in the labor stages. :)

    If I really need to define what a pro cuddler is, it's just somebody who is invested in the hobby or at least the concept of it to the point where they have decided to offer it as a n accessible service to the broader community. They might even go so far as to become Cuddle Party facilitators, or join an independent network of other professionals like the CAPC here in Canada.

    1. I will have to reiterate that I take many of the claims of cuddling's effectiveness as any sort of remedy with a grain of salt. But it would be arrogant and assuming of me to completely dismiss that it can change things for people, even if just for a few hours or a day. And as Andi mentioned, a placebo is only called as such when it works as per the patient's expectation that it will help. It is NOT the same as quackery. There does need to be more scientific inquiry done on how cuddles (specifically) affect adults over an extended period of time, other than in the case of improving relations between couples. We know it can decrease blood pressure, reduce anxiety in the moment et al, release oxytocin if you are in the right mindframe, but this isn't something groundbreaking; it's rather benign because it is what you expect to happen when placed in a relaxed state.
  • ron4uron4u

    @galowglass you are starting to get on my nerves. This is a forum to give opinions. I stated my opinion based on my experiences and dealings with CC members.

    Unlike you, I am not writing an essay. I don't care what your role is here but DONT ever mention or reference my name again! We all are equal and should not be spoken down to.

    Thank you.

  • CatloafCatloaf
    edited September 2018

    @galowglass Iyiyi, another troll. Don't worry, @ron4u, your time will come where you grow tired of your own ignorance and you want the real answers... Or maybe not, judging by your vicious attitude. I was sitting where you are sitting anywhere from 2-5 years ago, and I'm glad to say that peeling back the layers of what cuddling is really about has given me more ability towards introspection and it's helped me try and be a more perceptive person, even if my bitter and cynical side is still in tact in some places.

    For now though, I really don't think you have a place in this community. Maybe try "Cuddle"Up.com where almost EVERYONE has the same opinion as you, and almost NO ONE is genuine in what they are seeking, if that's how you feel.

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