Privacy and cuddle partners.

BabichevBabichev
in General

I'm guessing this probably depends on the individual, but are there generally accepted agreements about privacy and cuddle partners? If you run into a cuddle partner in a public place, do you acknowledge each other? If you were with a friend, how would you introduce them? WOULD you introduce them? Is this something you discuss with your cuddle partners?

Comments

  • pmvinespmvines

    I dont really cuddle someone im not friends with so i would be fine with greeting in public and simply introduce as my friend.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Only time was an issue was with a woman who i had seen a few times who was married, and her spouse dementia. She didnt want anybody to know about me due to being married and also due to having a daughter my age. Nothing tawdry happening but still awkward for her and understandably so

  • CatloafCatloaf
    edited August 2018

    I have run into or passed by a few clients before, and if they see me they usually give me a little wave and vice versa. Though normally because I am with my husband out on errand after he's off work, that might be why they feel uncomfortable to approach me although really it would be perfectly fine for them to say hello if they wanted.

    I have recently come up with an issue regarding a blacklisted client from last year, who has either moved into my neighbourhood, or has figured out where I live and my walking route at the least. He is a married man who ended up expecting sex after a few sessions, and not only this but he referred me to his friend visiting from India who it turns out spoke no English (how is that supposed to work??), and also expected me to be a prostitute.

    So this man was blocked on the website where I found him, he has been told he has been placed on the blacklist and not to contact me again. But since the block button on that site does nothing, he can still view and stalk my profile, and admins there refuse to do anything about creepy members, like usual. The worst part is, sometimes when I make a 20 minute walk to the store, I will walk past one house where he is sitting in the open garage smoking cigars with someone. They get quiet when I walk past, and will resume talking in their language once I'm gone and it makes me so uncomfortable. So either he lives there, or has a friend who does, but ever since the first time I saw him there last month, I have seen him several more times and have changed my walking route entirely.

    I can't really do anything about it because he has said nothing to me to warrant concern, and it could all just be coincidence - he did tell me he lives in the adjacent neighbourhood but the amount of times I have started to see him at this house freaks me out. I can't wait till winter comes in a month or so and then maybe he'll go away. LOL.

  • MattsWeatherMattsWeather

    @Catloaf What website did you find him on? Usually, any platform for platonic cuddling has 0 tolerance for anyone trying to seek sex. Plus, with SESTA/FOSTA being passed there are far more consequences for sites that tolerate this. So you'd think they'd be on top of this now more than ever when something like your situation is reported.

  • MattsWeatherMattsWeather

    @Babichev As far as client privacy, I've always thought about discussing it with cuddle partners, but in the moment I've never remembered to bring it up. Though, I would suggest following a similar confidentiality agreement that talk therapists do with their clients, which typically is: If you see your client out in public you cannot acknowledge them and say hello unless they acknowledge you first. This way it leaves the decision up to the client and doesn't risk you breaking confidentiality, which if you are a licensed talk therapist of any kind it can also put you at risk for a lawsuit.

    So as far as pro cuddling I feel like that's a pretty good rule of thumb if you run into a cuddle client in public and haven't asked them how they'd like to handle it beforehand. If you do discuss it beforehand, and they welcome a greeting if you cross paths, I think it's important to be clear on whether they mind your pro cuddling relationship be known or whether they'd like to keep that part private and to treat the interaction like you are friends.

    This is all so important because, like talk therapists, many people turn to pro cuddlers during difficult times in life where they need support and to feel like they are accepted and belong in this world - so they deserve the same level of confidentially if they wish.

  • quietman775quietman775
    edited August 2018

    @MattsWeather, Catloaf is in Canada. So SESTA/FOSTA isn't an issue, unless Canada has equivalent legislation. I believe (though I am not certain) that the site she referred to is Cuddleup.com. If you browse that site it's very clear they do NOT have a zero tolerance policy. For anything. :-(

    To answer the original quesiton, I never tell anyone about my professional relationships, be they with doctors, lawyers, or cuddle pros. I would expect a pro to protect my identity as a client. If I passed a pro in the street while with friends, I would give a friendly nod of the sort you might give any stranger --- but would not stop to talk or introduce her.

  • AndiCuddlesAndiCuddles

    I would suggest following a similar confidentiality agreement that talk therapists do with their clients, which typically is: If you see your client out in public you cannot acknowledge them and say hello unless they acknowledge you first. This way it leaves the decision up to the client and doesn't risk you breaking confidentiality, which if you are a licensed talk therapist of any kind it can also put you at risk for a lawsuit.

    This is what I do. The only exception is when a client has specifically mentioned that it’s fine to greet them in public (though I would state I was a ‘friend,’ not a cuddler). But in that case, they bring it up — not me.

  • CatloafCatloaf
    edited August 2018

    @quietman775

    Yes, CU was indeed the site in question; it doesn't attract very many quality people at all, but the ones I have met and kept in my repertoire are real gem gentlemen who just happened upon a dung pile... That website is the first thing that comes up in a Google search for cuddlers.

    Majority of people on there have no clue what cuddling is about, or when to just give up when someone decides you are not up to snuff. And like I said in my previous post, the block button is useless and the profiles are public either way with or without an account, and the admins don't give a rat crap if someone keeps viewing you or not and is blocked.

    I'm not done with abusive sites like that - I'm on a mission to take their pathetic coverup to the CBC for news coverage. The site is attracting more and more young women looking to make money. I've watched several, including two girls I used to manage at their first jobs, be dragged into prostitution via the fact that platonic is the harder sell, and they need money, like, now.

    Ahhhhhhh, don't bring up CU. While I still use it, hating what it has become is my passion, and the mention gets me frothing at the mouth thinking about giving them a sweet taste of PR disaster.

  • CuddleStellaCuddleStella

    I might acknowledge them and just glance greet them (like doing a friendly stare) and if they would like to greet me in public, and introduce me as their friend I don't mind. I try to be respectful of folk's privacy so I'd let them take the lead in that.

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