Comfort level

sagantysonsagantyson
in General

I’m new to this. My one experience so far was with someone younger and more anxious about the situation than I was, so I felt comfortable. But every conversation since then seems to lead to guys who are super assertive in their communication. I ask for a video chat at first, but then it’s constant texting, expecting me to come to their place alone, which seems like a bad idea in general. Am I overreacting? I’m 57F, fairly fat so I’m not used to the attention, TBH.

Comments

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    I absolutely would not go alone to a strange man’s home without a period of getting to know each other.
    There’s a lot of valuable information stickied to the top of each forum discussion list. It’s really important that you are diligent with your vetting process and not take chances with your safety. With the right person, cuddling can be amazing.
    A lot of women require meeting in a public place first, for coffee etc and only after messaging and video chats over a period of time. Another common practice is to require a photo ID before being alone, send that to a friend. Another good option is to only cuddle at a hotel. Feel free to DM me if you have any questions. I’m happy to help. 🤗

  • Hamtaro1Hamtaro1

    I would say you are not over reacting.

    I personally like having a screening call or meeting in a public place before. Typically I have a positive interaction after chatting virtually or in person. I would say no if I didn't like the vibes I was receiving from the other person. Interactions I didn't like were without a screening call.

    No need to force a cuddle session when the other person is breaking your boundaries or ignoring a topic you need clarity on.

  • MTexMTex
    edited October 2025

    It's definitely important to be careful. I take my time in getting to know any potential partners. I've found a minimum of a month sometimes more has been the best in vetting someone new.

    It's good for you to look through the Forum and find the threads about red flags. 🚩That way you know what to look for. I would not go to a stranger's house unless you're really sure of their intentions.

    To begin it might be a good idea to get an Airbnb room in an occupied house. That way there are other people within earshot. You can also do a hotel for a first meet up and ask them to split the cost with you for either one.

    I never invite anyone over to my house unless I have already cuddled with them before. I found it it's been better to establish repeat cuddle partners that you already know and trust.

    Stay safe and trust your gut instincts.

  • sagantysonsagantyson

    Thank you! I travel a lot for work so hotels are easy.

  • BluboySnugsBluboySnugs
    edited October 2025

    In no way is it over reacting to want to protect yourself. Meeting strangers for any activity the first time can be a scary process, and cuddling requires a certain level of trust to be done correctly.

    if they are a person worth your time they will respect and work with you. If they don’t you are better off (and safer) for it.

    . There’s nothing wrong with talking it slow and safe, just be honest about what your needs are.

  • Tigerlilly32Tigerlilly32
    edited October 2025

    @sagantyson It’s completely normal not to want to meet a stranger alone for the first time —

    Honestly, I wish more people understood how uncomfortable and even disrespectful it is when men send messages like, “Hey, I’m in town for a day, want to cuddle?” Sir, I don’t even know you — meeting a complete stranger who’s just passing through isn’t only absurd, it’s unsafe.

    Most of the time, I either say, “I’m not available,” or I simply don’t respond. And for the record, I’m petite and slender — but even if I were built like a bodybuilder, I still wouldn’t.

    You have every right to prioritize your comfort. Public meetups only, until you feel ready — that’s how it should be. If someone isn’t okay with that, they’re just not your person. Boundaries are self-respect in action — and truthfully, you can’t cuddle through anxiety. Safety comes first. 🫂

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    you are not overreacting at all. this is the internet. please be safe out there everyone.

    do not let anyone push you into meeting or doing something you don't feel ready for. ever.

    if they are pushy, they are not going to make a great cuddle partner for you so it's no loss for you if they drop off. let creepos weed themselves out. I have no problem making people wait.

    I don't charge money but i do charge time, intention, energy, and effort.

  • whoismaryamswhoismaryams

    Your boundaries are your boundaries! Hold tight to them. Especially in these situations where you are alone with a stranger. Take your time and get to know someone that you like, feel comfortable with, and have verified their identity. Men either pay with money or pay with connection (your comfort, getting to know each other, not being anonymous, etc.) to cuddle! Things are a bit different because I am a pro, but I do NOT do anything I am NOT comfortable with and I NEVER give a stranger the benefit of the doubt. Female intuition DOES exist! Don't ignore it.

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    @Tigerlilly32

    Yes!! Like how ridiculous is that?!
    I've put it in my profile to specifically not do that. but they still do. 🙄 Cause they don't actually read profiles most of the time. They seen enthusiast and they just message. 🤷‍♀️

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