Not wanting to send pics

[Deleted User]lukavaera (deleted user)
in General

Is it okay that I want to only communicate on the website and only have one picture. I had a bad experience with sharing a bit to much info. I’m new and just had to block a member because he was getting aggravated because I didn’t want to share another picture of myself full body ( clothed) to him. I’m just not comfortable with that.

Comments

  • respectfulrespectful

    It's totally OK to stick to one photo.

    Blocking him was the right thing to do; you might want to report him too if you feel he was being inappropriate.

  • [Deleted User]woodman008 (deleted user)

    You share what you are comfortable with sharing and don't let anyone pressure you into anything else. That's a red flag to me.

  • CreativeCuddlesCreativeCuddles

    I had spoken with an individual for at least a week and asked him to send a picture to which he was reluctant. He started talking about his marriage, his wife not giving him things and I said all I ask for was a picture. I told him his personal life was his business not mine and I want to cuddle with him and that’s it. (He was worried she would get pic). He thought his picture would cause me to deny his request to cuddle and I said that’s not why I asked for it. Send just s head shot I don’t care. We have been talking for over a week and I just want to put a face to all the communication and if we cuddle won’t I know what you look like anyhow? Men must look at it as ulterior motives and we just look at it for safety reasons.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    For any other users who might read this thread and have the same question: It's totally okay to have only one picture. So far as I'm concerned, it's okay to have no picture—but I'm less likely to talk to people who do that, because I'll get them mixed up with other people in my head unless I have a visual something to hook the messages to. Even a picture of that annoying Word paperclip is better than nothing. It helps.

    So far as pictures of your actual self go, well, I'm almost completely face-blind. If you don't have a picture of your face up, I'll probably take a photo of it the first time we meet and send the picture to somebody who can tell humans apart that way, because... you know... safety.

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle

    @CreativeCuddles Photos, I believe are essential prior to meeting. It is a means of determining honesty-if the person who shows up for that first meeting, in public, I hope, is 15 years older than the person in the photo you’ve uncovered a trust issue. And as a matter of safety, if something untoward happens, it is there for identification. I suggest emailing it to a trusted friend, or even to yourself.

  • BabichevBabichev

    I've got two photos up and one guy asked me, "Have you got any more photos for me?" I'm thinking why does he want more photos? I find that kind of off-putting.

    Yes, I'd like to see what someone looks like before we meet and have a record of it but one or two photos should be sufficient.

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle

    @Babichev As a longtime refugee from dating sites, “more photos” was usually code for photos with less clothing and more skin. You are right to be put off.

  • unclebuckunclebuck

    I don’t post a photo. But offer one after a couple of traded messages, and certainly before an appointment. I want everyone to feel at ease and safe.
    I’m not sure how getting more than two photos supports the quest for a “platonic “ cuddle.

  • tallteddytallteddy

    I think it all depends on wether or not the pictures are any good. There's an option to describe your body type in your profile. Based on that, I think it's a safe bet to think some people have preferences for body type (not me, I surprised myself on my first cuddle here). I'm not saying you need a full body pic, a pic that's cropped just below the bust is fine.

    Also, if you do decide to meet up, you really don't want to go by a picture with a Snapchat filter or two. I'd probably walk straight past someone if I had to recognize them from a pic like that.

    That said, what are other people looking for in a profile picture? I'd be curious to know.

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited September 2018

    @Babichev @mickcuddle @unclebuck - Lots of people have only head shots or head and shoulders shots so a request for more photos might just be a gentle way of saying they would like to see a photo of the whole person. Whether you consider that an acceptable request is up to each individual.

  • Navyman1010Navyman1010

    Some ppl with no pics get mad when you ask them for one lol thats crazy

    -dont hate me for my opinion-

  • CuddleStellaCuddleStella

    I always tend to notice that folks who ask me for a full body photo always end up sending some sort of comment like “sexy body” Even When I’m fully clothed. It’s not very appreciated because while I wouldn’t deny someone a picture of myself, it just feels like someone is asking to determine how attractive I am and to cuddle with.

  • [Deleted User]MichaelFJudd (deleted user)

    @stellarosass It's probably an effective way to weed out the creeps on here lol. At least you know who not to have as clients.

  • pmvinespmvines

    I had someone ask to see a full body pic as well as one of me smiling with my teeth showing lol I suppose she wanted to see if I was heavy with jacked teeth. Which I am heavy and do have a snaggle tooth up front from where I was smashed in the face with a golf club as a child and it didn't grow straight. Still wanted to talk and meet after so I suppose I was within her range of acceptability !

  • Navyman1010Navyman1010
    edited September 2018

    @stellarosass on this site anyone can choose who they want and some ppl choose who they want based on attraction, and theres nothing wrong with that, especially when your paying for a cuddle

    -dont hate on me for my opinion-

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @Navyman1010: Definitely nothing wrong with choosing based on attraction. After all, there are loads of different types of attraction! As far as sexual attraction goes, well, I think it's useful in making choices, too: if you're attracted to someone that way, after all, you might want to pick someone else to cuddle with. Especially if you're paying, which might make you feel like you're owed more....

    'Course, if you have a handle on yourself it's all fine. Still maybe best not to tempt yourself too much with stuff you can't have, especially when there's all this great stuff you can have right here!

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited September 2018

    I usually treat people here just like I would a new employee at work. We have strict sexual harassment and hostile work environment codes of conduct. It is forbidden to make any comment on a person's appearance (whether clothes or body). So I wouldn't mention anything like that in a message to someone on this site.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    I've talked for weeks with photoless peeps.

    If I'm not going to meet up with them I really don't care.

    If I'm going to meet with someone I'd prefer cam over a pic anyways.

    Old photos and photos with snapchat filters don't really do the trick.

  • [Deleted User]creedhands (deleted user)

    I have no photo posted, but I state in my profile I will send one. The problem I have run into is that,while I seem to have a nice conversation with someone, after I send my pic, I get no further responses. All I send is a face pic. If I have this response often enough, why would I want to post my pic to start with? Then I would not even get a conversation. So instead, I try to get the other person interested in cuddling by getting to know me first thru messaging back and forth. I am thankful, however, for those who have looked past my pic and had fantastic cuddle sessions with me.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    @creedhands Don't blame you in the slightest, that's very disheartening. But it sounds like you're still matching up with warm souls like yourself so whoever isn't interested, their loss.

  • BabichevBabichev

    @UKGuy - " Lots of people have only head shots or head and shoulders shots so a request for more photos might just be a gentle way of saying they would like to see a photo of the whole person. Whether you consider that an acceptable request is up to each individual."

    That makes sense. A lot depends on context.

    @creedhands - " after I send my pic, I get no further responses." I'm really sorry that's happened to you.

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