In a couple of profiles I saw "skin to skin". I'm not familiar with that here. Can someone explain?
Skin to skin I would take as cuddling nude like you would do skin to skin with a baby to regulate them. If you are seeing that on profiles that is against cuddle comfort rules.
If it says skin-to-skin, that is code for nude. Report those profiles.
@CharlieBear That is true many times but I have also seen it worded by pros as “I offer as much skin-to-skin as possible within the rules of the site” or “I offer as much skin-to-skin but I won’t cuddle nude”.
I have seen both of these and I let them go because I understood what they were trying to say. What say ye?
@TheFunCartel That should be reported. No offering of skin-to-skin in any capacity should be mentioned in a profile.
@CharlieBear Will do
@CharlieBear What if they are cosplaying Hannibal Lecter wearing Sgt Pembry’s skin? That’s skin-to-skin.
I think it’s primarily because it would mean they break the rules for the minimum clothing requirement. Like if one offers the “maximum” allowed, according to the rules that would mean forearms and lower legs. A client would reasonably instead believe that would mean they can be shirtless and/or the pro would be in a sports bra, or less, which is not allowed to be offered.
@TheFunCartel If it’s another person’s skin, that person should def be reported here as well as the police 😅
Understood. I see what you are saying. They are corrupting the intention of the rule with their words to push the envelope.
@TheFunCartel Yeah, there are code words used that sex workers flying under the radar use to tip off potential clients of some secret menu offered, so anything even remotely sexual needs to be reported.
When I was a pro I used to offer skin to skin handshake.
Fair topic. And while there are certainly code words that people use, one cannot look at the term itself myopically, it all comes down to INTENTION and CONTEXT; look at the big picture.
Having said that, it being mentioned straight up in a profile would certainly arouse suspicion - that’s fair.
I have mentioned this topic in communiques with cuddlers as I have had cuddlers show up in pants, long and not so smooth leggings, and long sleeve shirts being almost sweater like in texture too. Not very cuddly at all! And then it becomes awkward to say “hey is it ok if I lend you a t shirt”?
Again, it all comes down to context and intention…
Can’t help but think a shape shifter would automatically be reported.
No I ignore all that. I miss the days of pitchforks and public flogging at the slightest hint of public mores being desecrated. It broke up the monotony and made me feel morally superior. Those were intoxicating times. But I feel it coming back.
@WestsideMarc skin to skin is a no go. No matter what. We see enough. People should be advised against the use of that phase as 99% of the time something is going on in the background
@stormydaycuddle Thats fair. I should’ve punctuated further in my response that it should not be mentioned.
One can ask about clothing, and can make requests, not that they have to accept the request. If a pro takes it as inappropriate or satisfying a kink, they will report it. Or they should.
If a pro takes it as…satisfying a kink, they will report it.
Ray and Dave Davies have it rough.
@CharlieBear Charlie I’m so glad you brought that up thank you. As I mentioned a few comments ago, based on some previous bad experiences of cuddlers showing up in riot gear (ok maybe not totally that) I have learned the hard way to sometimes inquire in advance, but only at the very tail end of messaging once some trust, rapport and credibility have been established, and we are at the point of booking.
But I am very sensitive to wording so ifffffff I even bring it up at all, I may say something like “hey I cuddle in shorts and a super soft T-shirt. What are you comfortable in”? Or what do you wear? Or some facsimile of that. Again, it always comes down to intention and context. Women can sniff out bad actors and agenda.
Women can sniff out bad actors.
Yeah that’s why I did sports in high school. Theater was out.
Ask them for clarification
Just ask them
I've always thought skin to skin meant wearing shorts and a short sleeve shirt. Nothing inappropriate or against the rules.
@johnnyvv, I agree 100%, I never thought of it being nude.
It's part of the lyrics from a song by Def Leppard titled "Women". It's on their comeback album "Hysteria" released in 1987 after drummer Rick Allen lost his arm in a car crash.
I’m glad people are pointing out the nuances here, and that seeking to provide skin contact, within the rules, is not necessarily bad.
It is completely possible to keep things platonic wearing less clothing, too, it’s just not what this site is about. There are wholesome, non-sexual events that I go to (dance events, bondage workshops, private movie-and-snuggle nights) where the rule for clothing is more like you have to keep your underwear on.
It’s a phrase that - at a minimum - warrants clarification and careful use. I do not doubt that in some instances it’s being used as code for things that violate site rules. On the other hand, the neuroscience data on cuddling clearly shows that, for example, a hand stroking a forearm “skin to skin” generates a much different (i.e., more “positive” response) than a hand stroking a forearm covered by a sleeve. It’s one clear example of purely platonic touch where “skin to skin” makes a big difference. My personal preference is for a lot of “skin to skin” contact - within site rules, of course - as my experience aligns with the data. I wish there was a simple clear phrase that could be used to express this succinctly. Given the potential misunderstanding that can arise from the use of “skin to skin” I have found it’s best to use more words, take more time to be clear, and avoid misunderstandings that can lead to unhappy outcomes. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Minimum allowed is shorts and t shirts with required underclothes. But based on some comments here - as in bra top etc, a few guys are going to try to bend the rules to fit their agenda. On this site it means bare arms and legs only. Please stop playing dumb. 🙄 Oh and Happy Thanksgiving to all. 🤗
I think the concern is that the use of the term skin to skin invites that misunderstanding, sometimes intentionally. If you simply state you cuddle in let's say shorts and a tank top, then skin to skin within the site rules is implied, leaving no need to use the term.
I get a lot of new cuddlers that ask me for that. I normally explain to them not to ask for that because sometimes it can be taken out context and is more and escort term.. I do however normally cuddle in a top and shorts to maximize skin contact because that’s the cuddling version of skin to skin and invite them to do the same.