I wish folks would note who exactly is coming down on either side of this discussion: women and mods are saying it's a red-flag code word, and men are saying it's not a big deal. There's a reason for this divide - one set are getting harmed by the people using these terms, or are having to deal with the fallout; the other set are by and large causing the harm.
I always advise newbies to avoid using terms like "skin on skin", "open minded", "discreet", and "sensual". While they absolutely can be words that are used innocently, in the context of this website and the platonic cuddling sphere in general they are far more frequently used as ways to bypass the rules and women's boundaries. People who insist on continuing to use problematic phrases, despite being informed of the issue at hand, are at the very least yellow flags in my book 🤷🏻♀️
Impact is far more important than intent. That doesn't mean intent isn't important, it just means that the impact needs to be aligned with the intent if no harm is intended.
My profile states I don't offer skin to skin but my full body pictures clearly show I'm rocking shirt and shorts and am comfortable doing so. In the end, I'm with @g_w_t_w and @cram Don't play dumb. And have that communication beforehand.. just ask 🤗
In my 10 years on cuddle comfort, I would say 98% of my cuddle buddies have worn shorts and a t shirt. I assumed this was the norm but I also live in Southern California where shorts and t shirts are the norm. For the rest of you in other parts of the country, what is your average cuddle attire?
@Morpheus it would be the same here in Pittsburgh on a snowy day
@Morpheus for me, it depends on the setting, weather, and comfort level with that particular cuddle partner. Sometimes it's leggings & a T-shirt, sometimes it's PJs, sometimes it's shorts and a tank top 🤷🏻♀️
(Edit to add: I'm in NorCal in the valley, for reference)
I don't generally care what my cuddle partner is wearing, barring a few sensory issues and maintaining required minimum. It's far more important to me that they be comfortable in what they're wearing than having additional skin uncovered. I would hope that they'd extend me the same consideration. If having me wear something in particular is a deal breaker, I hope they would communicate that in advance so I can decide how to proceed.
Who the heck is running around cuddling strangers in the buff? No judgement, just... Really?
@sassorison exactly! people rarely get naked with people they never met and know nothing about. for example, on apps like Tinder and Bumble, people only hook up with someone they have known for decades. you know, it's how we are wired as humans. we never get intimate with someone we haven't known for a while.
When I was a pro one of my clients claimed I offered skin to skin. I was like no, I said I was offering potato skins.
“Skin-to-skin” is a term that comes from mother/infant nurturing. It is critical for babies to have after birth, and this fact has been much more understood and discussed in the last 20 years (say). While anything can be sexualized, I’ve only ever heard the term in a nurturing context, and you can Google for it and see that 100% of the results are also in that context. It’s easy to forget that not everyone has the same context, though.
The original question was about women using the term on their profiles, I believe. Not specified whether pros or enthusiasts.
I don’t like when people assume bad intentions or harm (whether pros v pros, mods v pros, women v men). It’s fine if the policy is pros should not use the term “skin-to-skin” on their profile because they might be misunderstood, but I don’t think using one wrong term should be a bannable offense.
@frankparker9 For your reassurance, mods don't ban just for use of that phrase. What we have observed is that many people using that phrase are also doing things that warrant a ban.
No assumptions are being made.
@frankparker9 It doesn’t matter what anyone means by it. They could mean simply touching ungloved fingertips in the sweetest most platonic way possible, and it wouldn’t change how it’s handled. It’s a term that is not allowed to be used on the site so we remove it from profiles and issue warnings if used in conversation. I can also guarantee you that the way we see it used the most is not remotely platonic.
No one is talking about mother/infant skin-to-skin on this website unless there is some sort of kink involved.
@Sooson I bet those potato skins appetizers were a big hit lol 🤣 very unique choice ... I do remember a couple of pros offering fresh baked cookies with their cuddles.
😄
@Sooson Really, when I TOO was a Pro...😄
I offered pork skins, my clients called me a Monster for doing so. 😊👹
Sighs ...It happens. 🤷😜😊
@CharlieBear i'm glad I saw this post. I must be naïve, wouldn't be the first time, but I always thought skin to skin meant skin touching, like shoulder to shoulder or leg to leg. I never thought of it as nude cuddling. If both people wear a tank top and shorts, they'll be some skin to skin.. I suppose I have to be investigative and find out what that means when someone asks. I haven't had that asked too often.
In my experience, both here and on other sites, if they just say "skin-on-skin contact", they're testing to see how much nudity and groping they can get away with.
If they truly are just interested in platonic skin contact that doesn't break the rules, they'll tend to be more specific and use other terminology: "I like being able to have our bare legs touch" "I prefer maximum skin contact while still honoring your comfort and the rules" "One of my favorite things is giving shoulder and hand massages. I love being able to feel your skin warm and muscles relax." "I prefer to cuddle in shorts and short sleeve tops for maximum skin contact."
A word of advice to clients and this comes from 10 years of experience. Let your pro wear whatever she wants to wear. The more comfortable and safe your pro feels, ultimately the better session you’ll have.
“Skin on skin” is code for nude? I honestly had no idea, at least not for this site. I’ve always considered CC as legitimately platonic, although I’m sure there’s some sketchy characters. However, I do prefer us cuddle in shorts and T-shirts so arms and legs touch, thats skin-on-skin in MY book. If not specified on their profile, cuddlers have expressed, during communication, what she’d be wearing. In over 10 years, I’ve only had ONE woman prefer to wear leggings. But that was our initial cuddle session, all sessions afterwards were legs touching.
High fives In the middle Down slow Toooooooo slow
Give me some skin 70s term
I just did my first cuddle session. The pro had a comfortable one piece on, no sleeves,above the knees,loose and no bra. Nothing showed but her figure and since it was my first time I was a little confused ( and aroused) and not sure what any voluptuous woman like her is thinking what kind of message she is sending Nothing inappropriate happened, I kept my hands were i was safe and platonic and it wad a nice session other than I seemed to do all the cuddling and wished she would have embraced and cuddled me more. Thoughts? Feedback?