When you cancel with a Pro and get BLOCKED

CaptainChaosCaptainChaos
edited December 2025 in General

Did I do something wrong by NOT sending a separate message letting her know in advance I was cancelling? I gave significant notice- almost 36 hours.

I had looked at her profile awhile ago, and then again recently. We had some general conversation/messages about maybe booking. It took a while for me to say "book". I had let her know my preferred nights/times. She sent the request and I accepted.

Along the way I let her know it might not be a good night due to dog watching while roommate/homeowner is out of town. I finalized my schedule with owner and other roommate on Sun. I made the cancellation this morning ,Mon, with an included message/reason. It says why along with will work to reschedule.

Can she see the reason on her side for the cancellation?
Did I owe her a separate message?
Could I have approached this differently?

She blocked me so clearly there was a problem even though I feel that I was clear and concise about a possible cancel/reschedule.

Thank you in advance for any input, feedback, etc.

I attached the relevant screenshots but cropped/erased her name from them.

****EDITED 6 PM 12/1/25****

INCLUDED ENTIRE CONVERSATION- please note, she reached out 1st.


Comments

  • KuddlyKoalaKuddlyKoala
    edited December 2025

    I've definitely blocked people before who were extreme time wasters. Making 4 bookings then backing out and having long drawn-out conversations about maybe having a session is inconsiderate at best.

    If the aforementioned does not apply to you, then no, I don't think you did anything wrong. Although, I do think a separate message is always appreciated. Also, just don't make a booking if there's such a significant variable like that! Book after you have all your ducks in a row.

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod

    They can see the cancellation reason. Though it would also be nice to let them know you are cancelling. They deal with a lot of time wasters and getting cancelled on always sucks. ESPECIALLY when they are traveling and rely on sessions to cover the cost of the trip. I hear people in my area (Los Angeles) are notorious for this.

  • whoismaryamswhoismaryams

    Yes, you did something wrong.

    1. A day and a half isn't a SIGNIFICANT notice of cancellation. For example, parents may have to line up childcare or those with full time jobs have to change up work schedules, etc. to accommodate appointments.
    2. You had general conversations (not about booking or logistics). Not sure how much, but people often do this for convo to pass the time or be entertained without booking a paid virtual session.
    3. You were way too indecisive. Looking long ago, then looking again, asking to actually book, then stating you might not make it, then ultimately cancelling.
    4. You did not talk to her directly and give her a definitive rescheduled date/time. Anyone who has ever cancelled with no definitive rescheduled date/time has NEVER rescheduled with me. Perhaps because they never had intentions of actually having an appointment.
    5. It just sounds like a BS excuse. You can't leave a dog alone a couple hours?

    Can she see the reason on her side for the cancellation? YES
    Did I owe her a separate message? YES
    Could I have approached this differently? SEE ABOVE

    I'd classify you as a timewaster. You wasted her time.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery
    edited December 2025

    @whoismaryams do you happen to be the pro in question? Because your response is making a whole lot of assumptions on info that has not (yet) been provided.

    OP came here asking a genuine question, which is far more than most clients would do.

    @CaptainChaos as others above stated, pros do tend to get ghosted and cancelled on a LOT, which can make them more sensitive to even honest miscommunication and mistakes. However, imho most pros would be a little more lenient if it's the first time you've cancelled on them.

    That said, pros are allowed to block anyone at any time, and a lot of the time it probably isn't personal. I would chalk it up to incompatibility and a learning experience, move on to find someone more compatible 🤷🏻‍♀️

    (Edited for a mistyped tag)

    Also, would add as a final thought: over communication is almost always a good thing. Assuming the other person understands or will find out is a recipe for conflict.

  • whoismaryamswhoismaryams

    @cuddlefaery No, I am not the pro in question. There weren't any real assumptions just that I assumed it was a bs excuse. I gave opinions based upon the information he provided. My response was genuine as my experience as a pro. Hopefully he can take my feedback as a learning opportunity.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited December 2025

    You have been a very good member of the community in your time here @CaptainChaos. I can’t imagine you doing something out of malice or selfish reasons. I do think that if something is iffy and has real potential to interfere or scuttle your session, then you should schedule for another time rather than make a commitment now. As a couple of people noted, pros do deal with a lot of flakes. In my most recent cuddle last night my pro talked about how common flakes are. So she may have overreacted and blocked you out of past bad experiences of last minute cancellations. And last minute is subjective—I think the site says you must give 24 hour notice, but pros may have their own version of that.

    With that being said, 36 hours is more than the minimum 24 hours the site recommends. I would think if a pro has a rule different from that they should post their policy on their profile.

  • GuyverGordonGuyverGordon

    1.

    2.

    3.

    4.

    5.

    🤪😜

  • CaptainChaosCaptainChaos
    edited December 2025

    @CharlieBear - that's what I thought- typing the reason AND indicating I would reschedule is enough

    @TheFunCartel - thank you for the recognition- I try to do the right thing whether it's in Meme thread or when there's info, insight that's relevent to a particular thread- of course sometimes a thread response does require a bit of dry humor or levity.

    @cuddlefaery - it was my 1st and apparently only cancellation with her. She certainly has the right to block, but I thought it was indicated thru the cancellation info box that I wanted to reschedule for a future time. Upside, there are a couple more cuddlers in my area- both pro's and enthusiasts.

    @whoismaryams I included the entire conversation thread for clarity.

    Re: the dog- it is a 12 year old Beagle who is prone to "accidents" and a couple of other health issues. The owner is normally home, except 1 week each month for work travel. The other 2 roommates are home during the day (work 7P-7A) on different nights and I get there about 630P to switch the watch.

    Thank you everyone

  • AuroradreamAuroradream

    With the back and forth comments about nibbles and biting I would happily back off a potential cuddle and choose not to engage further. Nobody else noticed this?! Gah!

  • AlyLaurenAlyLauren

    @Auroradream I had the same thought about biting/nibbling definitely not being an appropriate cuddle session activity and I would not book with a client (or pro) who mentioned it. I guess that's not explicitly outlined in TOS but I would for sure put that in the same category as kissing. Not appropriate.

    As a pro, it does suck when someone cancels. We all organize our time and money around sessions and it's inconvenient when people cancel. But things happen and it's part of doing this kind of work vs. clocking in at a job. So I don't think @CaptainChaos did anything unforgivable, but I also wouldn't have booked this session in the first place. I'd rather just not have the booking then schedule a "maybe".

    If I have someone who seems flaky or has cancelled/no-showed before, I just ask for a deposit to rebook. I wouldn't block someone for this but I wouldn't reschedule without a deposit.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I definitely would have messaged her, it’s the polite thing to do.

    And btw, bites a nibbles lol

  • coolrunnings12coolrunnings12

    Whoa I didn’t see it since the entire convo was added! Definitely seems like a schrodingers flirt situation.

  • Sunrise_SnuggleSunrise_Snuggle
    edited December 2025

    Regarding the "biting and nibbles" thing, that was a joke. The exact words were, "no biting, nibbles are ok," in response to, "I don't bite." That was not an indication of any desire to engage in such activities during the session. It was just a light-hearted remark that didn't have any particular meaning.

    Yes, if that were serious, that would be a violation of TOS. But that's clearly a joke. I don't understand why people are taking that seriously. And I'm the autistic one, and even I know that's a joke.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery
    edited December 2025

    Eh, I didn't read more into the bite/nibble comments as it was a single back and forth using incredibly common cliches. It's no different than me joking about someone being an axe murderer.

    For me, there's friendly flirtation and there's sexually motivated, and this didn't read as the latter to me 🤷‍♀️ if it had continued past those two lines, sure, it'd be pushing it in my book. But it was a single exchange. yrmv

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear

    CaptainChaos, I think she jumped to judgement... indicated on her last line.

  • Sunrise_SnuggleSunrise_Snuggle
    edited December 2025

    As for the cancellation itself, yes, I think you did do something wrong.

    All that time, you had her time blocked off for a session with you when you were not sure if you could make it.

    The booking proposal was confirmed on Friday the 28th. Then later that evening, you informed her that you might not be able to make it. Then finally on Monday 12/1, 3 days later, you cancel. And all that time, she was committed to the session with you.

    It wasn't just that you didn't send a separate message when you canceled (though that would have been the polite thing to do, in addition to the cancellation reason). It was the fact that she had her time blocked off for you for 3 days. When that entire time you were a "maybe."

    So yes, you did waste her time.

  • Sunrise_SnuggleSunrise_Snuggle

    No, I don't think it was a sexually suggestive comment. I think it was an innocent joke. And I don't think that was an indication of any actual desire to engage in such activity.

  • SqueezeBuddySqueezeBuddy
    edited December 2025

    If cancelling I believe the right thing would be to send something $ (maybe a 20% to say a number) for the wasted session that could have been used by another client.

  • coolrunnings12coolrunnings12

    I agree. Overall a very thoughtful exchange.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    The biting/nibbles was a joke!!! She said “I don’t bite”. And he made a mild joke. I can’t count how many times people have said “I don’t bite” as an icebreaker. I would never read that much into it. If someone takes that as anything more than a joke over a common comment that’s a red flag on that person for lacking a sense of humor. As @cuddlefaery stated there is friendly joking and there’s sexually motivated banter and this was not back and forth the joke was made and everyone moved on.

  • SlimBrown62SlimBrown62

    My input is I hate when men publicly whine about getting blocked by women. She is done with you. Move on. There are other pro's to see.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @SlimBrown62 i agree but I don’t think @CaptainChaos was whining. He was making sure he wasn’t doing anything wrong or off-putting. I don’t mind people who want to grow or be educated, but I definitely mind a whiner. @CaptainChaos wasn’t whining.

  • AlyLaurenAlyLauren

    Totally understand the biting was a joke. It is an inappropriate joke. Completely fine to joke with friends or acquaintances outside of a professional setting in this way. Unfortunately I have had repeated experiences on this site of jokes that lean toward innuendo being a red flag of future inappropriate behavior. These jokes are frequently just testing the waters for other things ( @coolrunnings12 this is exactly how I read that too) . Every time I have let one of those jokes slide, it's followed by more inappropriate comments or jokes, or requests or expectations of non-platonic activities. 🤷‍♀️ to be clear, I don't think the statement "I don't bite" was the problem, but adding "unless you want me to" and responding "nibbles are good" communicates there is now clear consent to put mouths on each other.

    As a pro, I don't make suggestive jokes with clients. I wouldn't make a joke like that to my therapist or doctor or massage therapist. If a professional I was paying, especially one who was going to touch me cracked a joke about putting their mouth on me I would be uncomfortable. Cuddling is platonic service, that is frequently not considered platonic and boundaries and professionalism are necessary to keep the environment platonic.

    All good if that wouldn't bother many of you. Also valid if people don't like it.

    Also valid if someone doesn't appreciate an interaction and decides to block you.

  • UREverythingUREverything

    Sunny days

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