Bewilderment re: No response after getting a sincere response

michrenman2michrenman2
in General

I understand that:

  • Women probably receive an overwhelming number of messages, from a whole range of characters, some of which are probably off-putting and distasteful
  • Women may simply not want to respond sometimes, and not everyone is checking their CC inbox religiously; get that and expect that. Which is why I think nothing of simply getting zero response from the vast majority of my initial contacts.

What I don’t understand:

  • I write a nice intro note, and at some point finally get a nice response.
  • She indicates what sounds like sincere interest , says some kind things, even compliments me on my pics (sent in intro note), or what I wrote.
  • Then I promptly write back, a very basic follow-up note, expressing some interest to chat a bit more and get further acquainted. Express that I’m open to chatting further in CC messages, or meeting up in a public place for coffee, or just voice or video chat - whatever is of interest to her. But no pressure for any of it, and certainly no request to immediately meet for cuddling.
  • Then. NOTHING. No reply, ever. Just ghosting. This doesn’t always happen. But it happens a lot. These are not pros, but non-pros.

Why reply at all in the first place? Why waste the time? Is it just to mess with people?

It’s weird, perplexing, irritating, and I just don’t get it.

The only thing I can figure is that some non-pros aren’t really actually serious about meeting and cuddling in real life, but it’s just some kind of a fantasy/escapist thing. Or maybe it’s like stages of interviewing where… 5000 guys messaged her, 100 of those get a 1st response, 10 of those get a second response, and eventually she carries on seriously with 1-3 of them. ??

Anyone know? 😂

Comments

  • wilderdudewilderdude

    Life happens. This is a side gig for many cuddlers. Probably lost in the shuffle or she had other stuff going on

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod

    Had that happen a few times and saw reasons in other cases just from being a moderator. Some found another cuddle buddy, some had work/life get in the way, some got sick, some started dating someone off-site, some simply lost interest, some got creeped out by someone, some were scammers, some were sex workers operating as untagged pros, and who knows how many other reasons; definitely way more than I have listed here. If you were nice in your messaging, it is almost certainly not related to you.

  • dan_bluedan_blue
    edited December 2025

    This is posted nearly every week. You are not entitled to a response or acknowledgement from anybody on the internet about anything. It doesn’t matter how nice your note is, how much effort you put into it, how pure your intentions are. It doesn’t matter if they initially responded and you believe it was going well. It doesn’t matter if they were genuinely interested.

    It doesn’t matter. You are not entitled to any response. But it cuts both ways: you owe nothing to anybody who writes to you.

  • Alice_inWonderLAlice_inWonderL

    I disagree w/ dan_blue. If one makes an effort to reach out then it is just common courtesy to respond and if not interested the other party can just tell the truth and pass.

    Not everybody here is mindful. People do get busy. The moral of the story is just enjoy your adventure here however you create it.

    Happy cuddles to everybody!!

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    people definitely get busy and things get in the way. also, there is no way to mark a message as "unread". sometimes i click on a message and then realize i don't have the time to create the thoughtful reply i want to and will come back to it. in the meantime, several other messages come through and honestly, it just gets lost.

    i try to let people know if i don't feel like this is going to be a good fit. Sometimes people have come across very inappropriately in which case they get blocked and reported with no message from me.

    Honestly, i've had the same thing happen as a female enthusiast. a few different times there were actually several messages back and forth, then nothing, and they're on here and have logged in, still show up in search page when i have a filter on it for people who have logged on recently.

    Things happen, people get distracted, or they get a weird vibe and don't know how to shut down a message thread. I'd say one polite reach out to see if it is just the distracted thing (at least I would be ok with that because most of the time that is what happened). but then leave it.

  • michrenman2michrenman2

    @dan_blue sure, no one is entitled to anything on the internet. Obviously. We agree on this. I’m not out here saying “woe is me, I’ve been wronged”. I’m not losing any sleep over this. No. My comment is: here’s some behavior I see that is weird to me that I can’t make any sense of.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    Messaging people is only a "waste of time" if you go in with expectations. Lowering my expectations had reduced SO much stress from interactions with people in general. Instead of getting upset or frustrated every time a connection doesn't work out, I'm instead pleasantly surprised when things do work out. It's a win-win - less letdowns and overthinking on my part, less feeling pressured on theirs. Plus, I always appreciate when the same courtesy is extended to me.

    I mention this almost every time this topic comes up, but technology has changed our expectations on how quickly and frequently people reply to us, especially when unsolicited. We used to have to wait days/weeks/months for letters to arrive in the mail, and while we might have waited eagerly, we weren't upset with the person when the response didn't come in our time frame. And even with phones, voicemails and answering services meant that we weren't surprised when someone didn't call us back immediately. As much as I love all that technology has afforded us, I wish people would have kept the same expectations on people's time and energy.

  • MTexMTex

    As mentioned by @mauvefox as a female enthusiast I have the same thing happening. I have a conversation going with someone & for whatever reason it doesn't move forward. Sometimes they lose interest or have found someone else that they connect with better. It's a common occurrence on here.

    Don't get discouraged cuddling takes a lot of work! You have to put in a lot of time & effort to connect with people. If they don't respond in a reasonable time frame all you can do is move on to the next person.

  • SnugglyJonnySnugglyJonny
    edited December 2025

    I understand this a bit and kind of agree . . . when contacting a "professional" you expect to deal with a professional. IF i sent 10 companies a request for a quote to have my roofing done, I'd expect all the professional companies to contact me to schedule the inspection and provide a quote. Professional means just that, that you run your "business" in a professional manner. I think what gets missed here is that for some reason we are calling the people here professionals. These are just people doing shit on their own time whether they ask for $$$ or not. There are no real professionals. Keep that in mind when messaging. When contacting a professional you should expect a reply.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @michael8219
    I’m truly sorry for the experience you’ve written about.
    Just curious, if the person(s) you’ve written to ask for a photo in their profile (sometimes you have to read every single word of the profile) do you send your photo? If you don’t want to send it - and of course it’s your choice - could that be the reason for no response?
    I’m only asking because that’s something I require - I don’t like corresponding to just words on the screen. I need to see who I’m writing to. Many people don’t need this, some others possibly do.

  • MTexMTex

    @SnugglyJonny Unfortunately, I deal with a lot of "professionals " at work & it's the same story. That word doesn't mean anything anymore. I send out requests for estimates & I'm happy if half of them reply. And if they do reply will they actually show up? 🤷🏻‍♀️

    I've had reps from national companies be no-shows & I never hear from them again. We have to take professionalism with a grain of salt these days. Appreciate it when you can find it.

  • SnugglyJonnySnugglyJonny

    you're right . . . though i have a lot higher success rate than you, i do get the occasional no show. However they get marked as non-professional in my head and I never give them or their company my business again. BUT, with who i deal with that is maybe 1 out of 50.

  • Rocket_ManRocket_Man

    It take time

  • MonkeyNeedsAHugMonkeyNeedsAHug

    https://www.classicshorts.com/stories/sgthing.html

  • HelesalenHelesalen

    Absolutely never any of anyone else's business why other people here acknowledge any one of us as we might please, and these incessant threads about it are ridiculous because they imply anyone might be owed an explanation.

  • coolrunnings12coolrunnings12

    @cuddlefaery lowering expectations is exactly the way to go in. Plus when you do make a connection, it’s often because something about the other person is appealing for whatever reason. Good matches make for good cuddles, and even potentially real life friends. I’ve even met some far away enthusiasts and been doing little chats, which has been fun and unexpected! Such a lovely community, with unique and thoughtful people. Not quite any other space online quite like it in my opinion

  • TrialKingTrialKing

    I've had this happen to me in real life a girl give me her number I didn't even ask for it. They offered it to me and I didn't even flirt.

    We start a light conversation nothing sexual not even flirting just try to get to know each other and then ghost within 48to 72hrs if giving me the number

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