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Hey there my friend. I’m sorry you’ve gotten jaded. I’ve been on and off the platform for a good while now, with a pretty deep bench of experiences.
This platform, such as the internet, the world, and life, consists of the full spectrum of experience from the best all the way down to the worst! I’ve had everything from some of the most beautiful encounters in my life all the way down to infuriating koo koo for coco puff crazy heads, no-shows, text stalkers, awkward encounters, and even being ripped off for cash.
If you lived in or visited Los Angeles, I would be happy to turn you onto some of the amazing cuddlers you see in my karma. Short of that, my advice to you is scrutinize profiles and their karma, and don’t book anything with anyone whose vibe you don’t dig off of from your messaging. And lastly go with your gut, keep expectations low, hopes high and your fingers crossed.
Good luck sir……
I appreciate your kindness @WestsideMarc It’s just doesn’t feel very good, especially if someone has a background of PTSD from different sources.
I want to say a few things:
1) ethically speaking, professionals on this site should absolutely not be offering non-platonic services, both because it violates the TOS and because it has the potential to hurt or make people feel unsafe if they were expecting a purely platonic space.
2) that forum and the people who post there are disgusting.
3) your feelings of hurt and betrayal are 100% valid and I would never attempt to tell you otherwise. You signed up for something that was supposed to be a purely platonic space (which was important to you) and those expectations were betrayed.
4) In my opinion, there is nothing inherently impure or less innocent about people who engage in SW compared to professional cuddlers. There are SWers who are sensitive and caring individuals who can help people deal with trauma, loneliness, and anxiety in ways that are fundamentally similar to how professional cuddlers can. Conversely, there are also pro cuddlers who, despite staying platonic, can engage in harmful and exploitative practices.
Keeping these four points in mind, I want to express an opinion: sex is not impure or malicious in nature, paid or unpaid. The positive experiences and potential healing moments you had with that cuddler are not necessarily negated by the fact that she has provided SW services for other clients. Had you continued to see her, it’s very possible that it never would have come up unless you asked for it (which, obviously, you wouldn’t have).
If you experienced feelings of connection, beauty, validation, feeling safe, or any other feelings that were helpful and healing to you before you learned about that gross forum, I would like to suggest that it’s okay for you to hold onto those feelings, and that healing. It’s wrong of her to offer those services to others, yes, but it doesn’t taint her humanity and everything positive and beautiful that she might otherwise engage in.
We are warned about it
I'm sorry you had that experience. There definitely are real Cuddle Buddies left that actually only keep things platonic. As a Professional Cuddler, I know that there's always the risk of the person I'm cuddling to want the same things you're talking about (keeping things more than just platonic). But it's nice to hear that you're one of the true souls that are just here for what the site is intended for.
I hope you hang in there and have more awesome sessions... I belive the Prose outweigh the kongs on cc
Matt, I hope this doesnt come across as harsh or uncaring, because that's not my intent:
and lust is part of humanity no matter how hard you deny it.
The world is what it is, no matter how hard we may deny it. We can wish that people wouldn't grow old and die, but those things are facts of life. We can wish that people fit our own individual ideals of what people should be like, but wishing for that doesn't make it true. If you can find a way to reconcile that in your own expectations, then maybe it'll hurt less if you later learn things about the person that don't meet those expectations.
Hello @Matt776,.first of all, thank you for having the courage to share your intimate thoughts and feelings.
I gree with @WestsideMarc: well said! Everything consists of the spectrum experiences from the best to the worst. But, when you find that right connection on here, of cuddlers who not only work hard in keeping you safe and seen but also have the organization to remember details in your life and make you feel seen as they show up again and again for you, it melts away all the bad experiences for me.
I've met one such cuddle buddy on here that has soooo many clients, yet she always takes time for me. She'll drive across states to meet up. Yes, she has other clients and family out here, but she is a true gem who uses our planned session as a catalyst for making time for her other affairs.
And when we meet up time and time again, I've realized that this is a friendship that has grown in its own unique way. There's no drama or expectations like you'd get in a romantic connection. It's also not just a friendship of someone you hang out with, because cuddling allows you to open up to eachother and really share those deep places of healing.
It is a safe bond where you learn each other's boundaries.
If you keep going and do your best or protect yourself from the occasion someone is the less-than-stellar connection you seek, you could find those who have come from a place of the heart that truly want you to heal and thrive.
Why are you now jaded towards the idea of CC and of this specific cuddler? Because you found out they were/are a SW? While this might be something that would disturb you if you were dating said person, why does it change your perspective on your cuddle session? You went into this specifically as a platonic experience and thats what you got. And sounds like you really enjoyed it. Thats great! Thats exactly what you were wanting and what they provided. It doesnt sound like they made any advances on you either.
I guess to break down what im saying is even though this person might be engaged in SW, you got exactly what you asked for and that should be all that matters to you and how it made you feel. Look at it this way, what if you lived in Las Vegas and you had a therapist, teacher, etc that you loved and was great. And then found out that they also work at a legal brothel on weekends or danced as a stripper. Would that change how effective they were at the job/service they were providing you? Aside from it being against the TOS on here im not understanding why your experience is now a negative in your life instead of a positive. Not trying to be cynical or curt, I just dont understand it and feel you should still be able to keep those original emotions and feelings about your session.
I came here to share the same thoughts @ENFP_Songbird said.
I'm really sorry that happened to you. It should only be a bond that feels safe and not sexualized. As a pro I've had to shut down many advances.
After observing your bio, I would implore you to give it much more thought to help your experience here. Leaving "I’m pretty chill, I guess?" Wouldn't cut it for me. It gives red flags that you might be looking for more than cuddles in my experience of conversations I've had with people that lack personification in their bio.
Just my opinion 🤷🏾♀️
@Matt776 - despite the best efforts of the site and the community, there are some inherent risks with meeting in person a stranger from the internet. Vetting for safety and for mismatched expectations is a frequent forum topic in the context of professional cuddling, but its also important for clients- there are threads with effective advice from pro cuddlers much of which applies to all parties.
That said, without knowing the particulars, if you have a positive personal experience I'd take anything you read from anonymous comments in 'those forums' with several metric tons of salt.
The unfortunate reality is people can lie, people lie anonymously online more than in person, and statistically men tend to lie more than women (there are interesting research studies on this). And there is no topic men are more to lie about and exaggerate than sexual conquests.
It appears she conducted herself professionally and remained compliant with the sites policies. I do not see a cause for such frustration. Statistically speaking, rule violations on this type of platform seem to be much more common among the men. 🤷🏼♂️
When I was cuddling in NJ, a client was interested in a Session but then ghosted. When I reached out again, he said he won’t book because he heard unfavorable reviews about me. I was upset because I thought someone dint like cuddling and interacting with me. Turns out there’s a group where guys discuss pros who offer extras. I told him the review from that groups is not unfavorable. It actually did me a favor to weed out people I don’t want to cuddle with or talk to anyaways because of the alterior motives. In all fairness though guys, don’t ONLY blame the pros who offer extras.ALSO, blame the guys on this site that are qasking for extras. The demand creates the supply 🤷♀️
I am curious why you believe what some people in a forum over say over your own experience? I have heard of these forums a lot and I always have the same thoughts on them. I have not read them myself tbh but it feels predatory like they are looking for victims. I have many friends that are professional cudddlers I am in forums and groups with others and we all want the similar things ‘to provide a much needed service and hold space for our clients’ I have had people break boundaries from time to time but for the most part my clients are here for exactly that. I would not put it past someone who was banned from here for breaking boundaries to go post untrue things about the pro Cuddler who did so in order to make their life harder. I actually had a short period of time where I felt like all my clients were asking for things against TOS and I had the thought something like that had happened to me. I have been doing this for 7 years and that has not been the norm in my experience.
That’s a long way to say yes those things happen but you had 2 sessions with this person who made you feel comfortable and now your perspective has changed because of something strangers have said about them. I would judge more off of what I see and experience than what someone else says they experienced.
@WestsideMarc said it perfectly. There is a spectrum of experiences & people that we encounter on CC. I've also experienced the worst (assault) & the best of it. Thankfully I started off with great experiences which helped me not give up on this.
@Matt776 I'm sorry you are feeling betrayed. I've been there myself. I had the other side of it. Learning that a former partner I felt safe with was soliciting SW was infuriating. But I had to rely on the experience I had with them & then ultimately deciding not to see them again. My decision was based on criminal records not on baseless rumors.
Focus on the healing you felt during your experience with them. Don't focus on what they did with other people. Obviously you won't be going back to see that person but now that you are aware you can be cautious moving forward. There's definitely a learning curve here & experience teaches us a lot.
Sounds like everything went well? Personally I think that throwing away a good thing for something that happened/happens outside of your relationship with this person is only harming yourself.
I don't know exactly what you're talking about because you're too vague, but as long as this person isn't physically harming people or operating a scam or kidnapping children or something, I really don't see a problem.
Those forum sites are the worst, trust me they are not always a reflection of other cuddlers, sometimes people just like to lie about their experiences with other professionals as well, both there and when they're trying to push boundaries with us professionals who are genuinely here for platonic touch though the site.
Focus on clear communication before booking a professional, make it very clear what boundaries you have upfront and please do not give up hope in the good in this community, there's so much more to explore.
And if they push those boundaries, you are in your right to report them to the site. We do not want SW or clients looking for extras ruining the wonderful experience that platonic connection can bring.
Happy Cuddling! ❤️
Yes, I would definitely take what people say about other people with a grain of salt in life in general, and on forums like the one people are talking about with the whole darned shaker of salt. People say lots of things.