Hi everyone, I came across this Time news article today and wanted to share. Thought it might be an interesting read.
Why Some People Hate Being Hugged, According to Science: http://time.com/5379586/people-hate-hugged-science/
Interesting article. Although I think the title is misleading. I don't think there are many people who 'hate' being hugged. But there are a lot of people who are uncomfortable with hugs, especially with strangers. I also agree that not being hugged or shown affection as a child has long-lasting effects into adult life.
My oldest daughter loves to hug and she tells me and text how much she loves me.
My youngest daughter will tell me and text me how much she loves me but doesn’t like to hug anyone.
I was very affectionate with both growing up and am still affectionate with them.
I really like that article.
I used to hate being hugged. For pretty much the exact reasons that are mentioned in the article.
Luckily, I made family and friends that helped me feel safe hugging. And I think that’s one of the reasons I became a professional cuddler — I like making people feel safe with platonic touch.
32% immune boost though from hugging and other affectionate touches! (said in the article)
the uncomfortably usually comes from childhood experiences. others might just prefer no physical touch because they love their personal space, and they may be very picky as to when they seek out touch. my old roommate was like this... not a huge fan of cuddling for the sake of cuddling but she would cuddle with me and any of her friends easily for some time.
When I was young you could not touch me. I hated it, I didn't even like the way objects felt when they touched me and I didn't like how clothing felt. Now I am a cuddle junkie lol go figure but I still much prefer being the one doing and not getting
I find it odd that the article entirely ignored boundaries, including how people hug. People who object to someone who barely knows you and throws their arms around you, pressing their whole body up against you are not hug haters, they hate having people assume they can take liberties with your body without your permission. I'm a social dancer and we're often very physical with each other but that doesn't mean we're that physical with everyone. We're physical with people we know and trust.
As much as I love physical contact in all its forms, I was bothered that the article seemed to imply that those who are not huggers are somehow deficient. I don't think that's true and I don't think non-huggers should be made to feel inferior. Physical contact feels good when it's welcome. Non-welcome contact produces the opposite reaction.
As a side note, I've been reading Robert Sapolsky's book Behave on the neurobiology of human behavior and just recently read an interesting tidbit about oxytocin. It's commonly thought of as a pro-social hormone but that's only partially true; it produces pro-social feelings/behavior towards members of one's group, but not necessarily towards individuals outside of one's group. I thought that was interesting. Sapolsky spent 30 years studying a troupe of baboons in Kenya, taking blood samples and observing their behavior. ALL mammals, and some fish, birds, and reptiles, engage in social grooming. Sapolsky said that among primates, they spend something like 30% of their waking time either in physical contact with one another or sitting close to each other. It's not just for hygiene. It strengthens social bonds. As the article pointed out, infants who are deprived of touch can suffer lasting physical and emotional problems.
In general, though, I'm very much in favor of physical contact. I think modern life has tended to isolate us and I don't think it's good for our mental health. I've noticed when I've traveled in other countries that in many of them, people have a lot more physical interaction with each other than here in the U.S.