Just curious. Of course, it could be both. But you specifically, would you only cuddle with someone you find somewhat decent-looking?
Not sure if I should feel offended that a couple of cuddlers I've inquired with asked for extra pics😂
For security purposes, to send to my person that knows where the session is at and what time I'm supposed to be done and reached out to them by to let them know I am safe. So they have it in case something happens to me.
I know I'm an enthusiast but I also ask for a picture & full name for safety. I don't mind exchanging IDs with both of our personal info blacked out. It doesn't matter what a potential partner looks like. There are many times we don't know what one another looks like until we decide to meet.
From what I've seen on the threads male cuddlers are more concerned with looks. 🤪
@MTex I've had several good conversations going with pros that abruptly end after I send a couple pics. That's why I don't have any pics in my bio. Based on this reaction, I think looks are influential both ways.
But more on topic- I ask for an unfiltered pic so I recognize them when we meet. Some profiles have pics that are so doctored that it looks like 3 or 4 different people on one profile. I actually met a "pro" who "kept forgetting" to send a follow up Pic. I almost didn't let her in because she looked so much different than the two pics in her bio.
I imagine people here will want to see a photo before meeting - for a whole range of reasons. Men most often choose based on looks, body type & age. It’s human nature, we are visual. Pros are less likely to choose based on appearance but I can’t speak for them. As an Enthusiast, a photo is very important and I do consider some physical characteristics but it’s mostly based on expression and their eyes, what I see in them. But usually the #1 reason to require a photo is for verification and safety purposes. And just to add, I do ask for a photo before getting into a conversation. Otherwise you are just words on a screen and I don’t have any way to connect. Low effort people aren’t interesting to me.
On the spectrum, so it's important for me to familiarize myself with whom I'm meeting
@4bearhugs It's interesting to hear that you've had that problem with pros too. Apparently ghosting after sharing a pic isn't just an enthusiasts issue. 👻
No, you absolutely should not be offended. It's a very common and reasonable request.
Meeting somebody from the internet without at least one clear face photo is foolish.
Full length photos are important because cudding different body shapes is a different experience.
Competent professionals do not care about looks. A significant minority would be extra keen to have as a client somebody who might be considered 'repulsive' by mainstream society.
A reasonable portfolio of pictures (5-7) is extremely useful both for establishing that the person is real, and for gaining some insight into their character. A picture is worth a thousand words.
A request for additional pictures (if only one has been provided) is a very useful screening exercise. It's not the pictures themselves that matter in this regard, it is the response to the request.
In my view, expecting somebody to cuddle you while declining to provide privately a handful of ordinary photos is unreasonable. (In six years I have encountered only one exception, and heard of one or two others.)
To answer your specific question, the notion of only cuddling with somebody decent-looking did not occur to me in my first couple of years of cuddling, and I encountered it only when it came up the forum that some people did that. It's creepy.
I can't speak for other femme pros/enthusiasts, and I'm sure there's some that use it to filter by looks, but for me it is purely for safety purposes. I want to make sure I know who I'm meeting, am able to pass that info on to a safety buddy. It's also a deterrent for bad actors - if they're not willing to share clear recent pics and/or do a video call, I hold to my boundary that I will not risk meeting with them. I don't care about looks in general, even with romantic partners - it's all about mental connection and vibe/chemistry. Over time with meeting people online, you also get a feel for the sort of person you mesh well with by facial expressions, photo choices, etc.
As was said above, there's a pretty strong gender divide in platonic cuddling, largely due to expectations and how we're socialized. Men tend to seek cuddle partners they find romantic/sexually attractive, women tend to seek cuddle partners they feel are safe. It's not a hard and fast rule, there are exceptions, but there are systemic reasons why the tendency happens.
I don’t want to just go into a session blind.
It’s mainly so yall have an ounce of accountability and know you can’t hurt us without it being traced back to you. Walking into a stranger’s home requires a lot of bravery. We are required to have images, the least you can do is give us the same peace of mind right?
A few reasons:
I do it because it helps me place a face with the conversation I’m having.
Sometimes sending a pic is also indicative the the person isn’t just casually perusing the site and messaging random people (but there are threads on how to write a good intro message as well). And this is not definite as people have definitely send me pictures and never ended up being a cuddle partner candidate.
If you’re willing to meet with a stranger off the internet without sharing a photo back and forth, that puts you in the not safe category for me, even if it just means you don’t think a lot about safety in general so certainly aren’t considering mine.
Then there is the reason of my job. I need to make sure I don’t know you in a professional capacity which at this point is very broad spread. So it may seem unfair but I ask them to send their pics first.
And then last but definitely not least, mostly for safety. If it looks like a head shot, is grainy, filtered, I’m gonna ask you for a selfie on a random Tuesday. But I’ll ask you for more regardless later. Because I want to make sure the pictures you’re sending me are you.
Stevie Wonder does it everyday and he makes it work.
As a female pro, I require clients face photo just so I know who I'm meeting to cuddle for my own personal safety. Personal safety for both parties is my #1 priority. I don't choose clients based solely on their physical looks since this is for platonic cuddling only & it's not a dating site.
For security purposes, The person who is contacting me for a cuddle session already saw who I am from my pictures uploaded on the website, I believe I deserve to know who I am seeing before any session. I have no issue with video calls first,too, but you can never expect people to be respectful in that case so I prefer and require a picture.
I personally don’t ask for pictures. I’ve been through experiences where I was being stalked by someone I quit meeting with. During that time I did ask people to video chat with me prior to meeting just to make sure it wasn’t him pretending to be someone else. But since he doesn’t bother me anymore, I don’t have that requirement anymore. It can be many reasons though why people will ask for pictures, or a video call for verification purposes. But we can always ask too, if we feel some type of way about the request. Because both get photo requests. Pros and enthusiasts.
Some people get awkward and ask for too many pics and it starts to feel like they are looking for something more. I have no problem with sending a picture of exactly me in the moment, when requests for body shots and specific outfits happen it's when I need to pull away. There can be ulterior motives here too. I will ask for a picture for safety because I want to know whos coming into my home. I dont open the door for just anyone
All of this is solidly useful information. It should help us all -- pros and enthusiasts alike -- to further enhance our profiles and our approach toward other cuddlers. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
I only sometimes ask for a photo before hand, and for just the reason I always say that I do, to avoid Don Juan situations
I ask for safety reasons. There are people who have been previously banned that try to see pros and enthusiasts and the photos help us stay safe from them. Well, for the most part.
Both. I want to see that they're really who they say they are, and I want to find them at least somewhat attractive. (I only have experience with pro cuddlers at this point). While this is not a sexual service, it is an intimate and personal one, and I wouldn't feel comfortable snuggled up to someone if I didn't find them at least somewhat attractive.
I don’t ask for pics, it doesn’t matter to me what anyone looks like. If they book with me I will ask for ID before I invite them to my space for basic safety reasons.
I do a video chat and get a screenshot in case I go missing. I dislike that people view this as something to hide or be ashamed of... but I haven't told my mother yet myself, so I guess I get it. Still don't like it.
I'm not trying to cuddle with people I'm attracted to, I'm trying to cuddle with people so align with the Agreements.
I work in healthcare and social services. I always ask for a pic… for this reason.
For me personally, I withhold the right not to meet people who don't fit certain characteristics. ( I have a few, beards! For one! ) On an added note, Many years ago, I used to think photos were "enough" before meeting new cuddlers. I have long since learnt my lesson the hard way. I now require a video conversation, there is a lot I can pick up from mannerisms and certain expressions that are used in spoken conversation which are red flags and an immediate block . Pictures as well can be very deceiving , there are people who look fresh and well kempt for a pose, when in real life... they smell, haven't showered and have bleeding skin conditions or tics that they failed to mention. 🤦😅
I used to get weirded out when people sent a picture... to me it's like me sending a picture to my dentist... attractiveness plays zero factor in whether I'll cuddle with someone or whether the cuddle will feel safe and nice. some of my worst cuddles have been with conventionally attractive men.
I don't have any decent pictures anyway so I don't think looks have been a big factor for the people i've seen so far