Why don't ghosts have babies? Because they have hallow-weenies
This may have been posted already but I love it.
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? . . . Ones pretty heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
OMG that was mine @FixerOfPews I was just about to post that LOL....
okay soo I will go with this one... (sorry of it was already posted... thats a lot of pages to go through lol ) What do you call it when Batman skips out on church?
_Christian Bale _
And my fave for the kids... What is a pirates favourite letter? (most say R) You'd think it would be the R but it tis the C (sea) LOL
In a Georgia zoo, scientists discovered that if their dolphins were fed a diet of a specific type of seagull from North Carolina, they'd live darn near forever. They had a shipment of gulls coming in soon. Meanwhile, a lion from the Atlanta zoo escaped. The truck driver with his load of seagulls in the back were driving at night, rounded a corner and ran over the lion. Do you know what the driver was charged with? . . Transporting gulls across a state lion for immortal porpoises.
@DeeDubz here's another pirate one: What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matee! (I'm eighty)
I came home really drunk last night and nailed my dartboard to the ceiling. Needless to say, I was throwing up all night.
@Mailem took me a second, but good one
I'm confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.!
A polar bear walks into a bar and says "I'll have a gin...................and tonic?
The bartender asks "why the big pause?"
The bear replies "I've had them since birth"
If two blind people have a family, who watches the kids?
Why are pirates called pirates?
If it’s cold inside try standing in the corner…..it’s always 90 degrees in the corner
@Gamer1992 because they charge $3.14 for their services?
@4bearhugs nope, they just ARRR!
Why couldn't the octopus couldn't squash a bug?
Because it didn't have any backbone!
What kind of corn tells too many corny dad jokes? Popcorn
I was part of a conference video call at work. I shared a joke and no one laughed. I guess my joke wasn't remotely funny.
I love telling Dad jokes.
Sometimes, he even laughs.
People keep telling me to go f@ck myself, but even my standards aren’t that low! Pa dum dishooooom!
Did you know diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your genes!
A capybara walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont like your kind.
Lol
I took a bard for a lover, and things went from bed to verse.
Did you hear the one about the corduroy pillow manufacturer? They're making headlines all over town!
Not a joke but a silly way to introduce yourself. "How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice", hi im Alan. 😆