Is this Site some Shallow Corny thing that "Pansy type" men only get responses? Smh

SacralHeart777SacralHeart777
edited September 2018 in General

Hi,

This is my second time joining this site and pretty soon about to be my second time closing this account permanently .
(Before i proceed, Let me Clarify that I'm not angry at all, but definitely annoyed though :-/)

The reason for my question in subject line:

I ask this question because for the second time I have this account, I give some pretty respectful articulation on what I'm seeking, My intent etc
And I mean this in a humble way, That I'm clearly well groomed and a Handsome young man (all though looks isn't the intent, I'm sure for a huge percentage of women and men on here it's preferred you look at least somewhat cute.. Just a normal human thing!).
I don't get any request, or even returned replies.
Sorry if it seems like a derogatory way I put it, but
I SPECIFICALLY ASK ABOUT THE "Pansy" thing
Because I wonder if only guys who are 110 pounds Raw Foodist and look
"Feminized with the corny Never ending Ear to Ear smile get the biggest response or request?"

I'm a masculine looking man, but far from a excessive Masculine look; I don't look aggressive and most certainly don't give off a creepy vibe.
I have two serious face pics and Clearly two ones with nice smiles.
So, Ummm what's the deal with hardly no responses???

Conclusion,
If I get enough confirmed responses that this is most likely the case what I'm asking about, I'M permanently checking out of here!
And it's a WHOLE OTHER TOPIC I'm not going to even touch on with the model looking attractive women always predictably charging for cuddles, as if this site is becoming a escort alternative Smh

Smh, Truth is truth.

Removed final sentence as it's highly ambiguous in a problematic way. [Mark]

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    Pansies are cool.

    I get a lot of no responses too. Or sometimes people will start talking, then stop. Life's like that: I'm only the center of my own universe, after all. Real Life is a thing, and people have stuff to do in it. I've been here... what? Three years? And I've only had two cuddles. But I like the site—the forums, the chatting with random people, the very occasional cuddle—so I stay. I doubt the lack of requests and replies in my case is because I'm not enough of a pansy, so that's probably not the problem in your case, either.

    Maybe the "I want to get comfortable touching women so I'll be better at sex" bit on your profile is freaking people out? Could be.

  • SacralHeart777SacralHeart777

    Thanks!
    I truly appreciate your feedback but my profile says NOTHING ABOUT SEX
    Bro Lol
    So be 100% knowledgeable on a topic first, so you can be careful how you reply to people

    it says INTIMATE

    Maybe I'll change the wording because it's sad that some people are too paranoid and forget intimate
    But look In the dictionary yourself and see that in NO WAY IT MEANS SEX?
    (It never did)

    From Webster Dictionary:
    in·ti·mate1
    ˈin(t)əmət/
    adjective
    1.
    closely acquainted; familiar, close.
    "intimate friends"
    synonyms: close, bosom, dear, cherished, faithful, devoted, fast, firm, familiar; informal chummy
    "an intimate friend of Picasso's"
    2.
    private and personal.
    "going into intimate details of his sexual encounters"
    synonyms: personal, private, confidential, secret; More
    noun
    1.
    a very close friend.
    "his circle of intimates"
    synonyms: close friend, best friend, bosom friend, confidant, confidante; More

    Once again I appreciate the advice though.
    I also find that SPIRITUALLY when the right person tunes into your post they click and truly feel your genuine intent

    So although I may choose to edit it, because some people wrongly misuse words,
    I will defintely never edit anything else.
    Because my intent is genuine; And I feel you shouldn't have to try to come up with more creative word play like this is a Sales Gig

    Take care
    Have a Great day :-)

  • pmvinespmvines

    You are focusing on how other users may be differing from you, and blaming their differences for your lack of responses. I am sure you not getting responses has to do with a myriad of reasons, or possibly no reason at all, that have nothing to do with other users. Many people simply are not responded to, rejection is part of life. As @DarrenWalker points out, it might have something to do with your perceived intent. And of course implying that you aren't getting responses has to do with you not being a pansy whereas people getting responses are a pansy doesn't really do much to help plead your case either.

  • SacralHeart777SacralHeart777

    Thanks for your reply too.
    Pmvines... But are you similarly s person that misused a word for so long you forgot it's original meaning????
    INTIMACY

    But also, Hey some things said are a bit controversial, Lol I'm a Sagittarius here so I stand by what I say with no regret.
    I have my suspicion of asking that
    Because let's not pretend there is a HUGE SHALLOW and FAKE VIBE with women on here being insincere
    In various ways at that

    With a lot of the prettiest women on here the PREDICTABLE PRO thing (a form of capitalizing and manipulation)
    It's pretty obvious with that Lane.
    And Then that left me to question the only thing left which is What's up with the NON-PROS?
    Like What's the shallowness or close minded aspect with them.

    This site can actually be renamed
    "FemaleCuddlecomfort"

    Lol in the end, I assure you I'm 0% angry, just being a Sagittarius. ??
    (controversial, analytical, thought provoker, Frank)

    Ironically
    In a couple of weeks I still may try a Pro anyway

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @SacralHeart777: Oh. You said you wanted to "become more open to affectionate touching" so you could apply that to "future intimate relationships with women," so I assumed you meant 'intimate' in its colloquial sense. If you'd said "Future intimate relationships with friends" I might not have jumped to conclusions so fast, but you say you're male, straight, only cuddle women, and are looking forward to intimate relationships with women specifically, so....

    It's ironic that I'd get this wrong, because usually I mess up the other way and take things way too literally. [rueful] Figures.

    @pmvines: Thanks.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @SacralHeart777 I know the meaning of the word. I am saying that it might be implied to others that you are seeking out something else.

  • SacralHeart777SacralHeart777

    Yeah Lol,
    Thanks for both y'all feedback again

    I think that I'm still going to change that word anyway; because unfortunately over time, Many words do lose their original meanings!
    But back to my profile:
    If you Re-read it , it mentions being able to apply to Friends and family first and then I say that I also want to be able to apply a new level of this healing energy to a relationship.

    And you know what?

    The right woman reading it will percieve it will definitely percieve it as VERY POSITIVE:
    A American male (in a dominant male Oversexed society) taking steps to feel connections with woman better beyond sex.
    I think that's a pretty honorable path if you ask me.

    Personally,
    I honestly been lacking the affection/Cuddle connection for a very long time;
    Even more to note personally,
    I slept with A ton of woman in my life, and even currently I'm in no way lacking in receiving sexual pleasure because I have a partner and another distant Fwb for that.. So I assure you this is far from the creepy sexual frustrated guy here with ulterior motives.

    And lastly I don't know which one of you just commented on the fact that I only Cuddle with woman.
    Lol, you DAMN RIGHT!
    I have 0% prejudice against Gay, Bisexual, Pan-sexual or open-minded men who are straight that can Cuddle another man

    But a BIG HELL NO.
    and yes I'll keep a so-called closed mind on this and enjoy defiantly staying closed to EVER entertaining the idea? Lol

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @SacralHeart777: [raises hand] That was me, with the noticing that you only platonically cuddle the type of person you're sexually attracted to. Weirdly common, by the way. And yeah, the inconstancy of language is a remarkably frustrating thing. It trips me up all the time.

    Anyway... good luck finding the right woman. Or women, since odds are there's more than one woman out there who'd think your profile's awesome. May you find each other as quickly as you'd like.

  • sheedssheeds

    @SacralHeart777 GOOD RIDDANCE

    Why are you still here?

    I love CC

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)

    People might be here just for the spectacle of it, for profit, out of loneliness, etc.
    That lack of responses, or of "No", is not a problem with you, your profile, your approach.

    There are real people on the other end. I would think that for most of the folks, that you don't see as active forum participants, are far more cautious, far more picky about wether you meet their created ideal, or acceptable "you".
    Yes, Its extremely frustrating for a lot of people.

    For what its worth, I think I'm a nice person. I've been here, going-on a year. I've met 1 "professional cuddler", who I sought out. I've meet 0 (zero) non-pro-cuddlers. I say, "Hello" to everyone whether or not I think they would be a good cuddle-match. Even with people nearby, it has never progressed to the point of meeting. I gave up on being frustrated, but I didn't give up on the site or the people.

    Using this site seems more like a process than an event. I no longer bother with outcome-expectations. But I love making connections, so I focus on that. People here are great. Even the quiet ones. I think they are brave, to break out of wherever they are and to start seeking connection. We all need that.

    I know that all the words I spew do not chaange anything or fix anything or even answer any question. Sorry. But I'm hoping there may be something in my perspective/opinion that might have value.

    Your mileage may vary.
    Peace

  • ChocolatetreatChocolatetreat

    @SacralHeart777 just give it time bro you will get replies plus your in the ny/nj area plenty of cuddlers in the area. Also with your theory of the "Pansy" men getting responses might be right some cuddlers who are hear for money might feel like these kind of guys would be paying customers. Guys like yourself who seem overly confident might get replies from other kind of females everybody has there preference.

  • sheedssheeds

    @SacralHeart777 still here ?

  • sheedssheeds

    I'm kidding @SacralHeart777. Gotta keep it light.
    My life is bad these days.

  • Whisper5Whisper5

    Perhaps it’s the women you contact. Maybe they aren’t active. Maybe they catch a bad vibe from you. Your vibe from here seems aggressive.

  • SideonSideon

    Interesting ideas on masculinity and "pansies" and "feminized men" who may or may not be skinny, or vegan, and have killer smiles.

    Good luck on your inner journey, though your post begs the question that you already have your own answers and were just looking for validation of your beliefs.

  • [Deleted User]sf2018 (deleted user)
    edited September 2018

    @SacralHeart777
    Non pros consider these: Safe, funny, attractive, likeable hobbies/interests, skin-color and make good enough money. Even though it is not dating, non-pros consider if you are worthy to date to qualify you for being worthy to cuddle.
    We all have our biases/prejudices, racial or otherwise .

    Pros only consider this: safe and will pay for the hours(see their rates in profile 80/hr etc). They are here to make money safely where their boundaries are respected.

  • AndiCuddlesAndiCuddles

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/4237/enthusiasts-who-expect-too-much-for-too-little/p1

  • [Deleted User]Kaiterpillar (deleted user)

    maybe it's cause you're a little whiny snowflake who expects everyone to be interested in you :) :p without providing what you have to offer at all....LOL!

  • SacralHeart777SacralHeart777

    To ANDICUDDLES:

    Well thought out and said.
    I respect your take on this very much thanks! :-)
    and your in depth articulation of this people just can't make up! Lol
    Great to know women like you exist.

    Although you think this way, MANY WOMEN on here definitely do not though.
    And intuitively I can discern or get a feel from their pic their level of sincerity. (Usually the ones who are coincidentally very pretty doing a Instagram type pose)

    This a little off the topic but
    Like the time one of the types I am complaining about sent me a pic in her bra.
    And she was cute with a beautiful body, so yes as a Heterosexual man it was enticing, and if I met her on another platform probably would of considered her as a Fwb!
    HONESTLY LOL
    But I'm not here for that so I never contacted her back.
    She fed into the expected stereotype of men that I was going to be turned on, and it was actually the opposite... Smh

    But basically conclusion is I know my original wording was a bit condescending, or controversial about "Pansy thing" but I won't take it back
    And stand by it because I know what I mean by that :-)
    over the years i experienced this annoyance in certain so called HEALING WHOLISTIC COMMUNITIES:
    the dominant presence of the feminized man, where Masculinity is shyed away from or inadvertently shunned.
    And yes personally it gets me sick.
    Because it's so imbalanced and Defective with the malevolent intent to secretly Make men more passive/effeminate.

    From your paradigm as a woman you won't understand this, but
    TRUST ME
    I know greatly what I speak of here and MANY men and surprisingly women feel just like me about the topic
    So
    I was just trying to see if this applied on this platform so I could check out instantly if I got 20 consistent opinions that this is the case

    Thanks again though
    Take Care

  • PaulaDahlaPaulaDahla

    Okay, I am brand spanking new, less than a week on here; and I skipped most of the passive aggressive junk above. But I noticed so far only one woman has commented and that the majority of replies are encouraging him to leave in a very passive aggressive way. So let me ask all of the above commenters - why are YOU on here? Are certain viewpoints not allowed on here? If he's not personally attacking you what does it matter? Why must you keep arguing with him?? Are we not all adults with our own social views, upbringing, and regional ideas of life? Why must every comment or thread be one big happy or get attacked? I enjoy reading the forums and I have noticed every time someone has a contrary viewpoint and they are either deleted or banned. I enjoy variety in everything from body types to viewpoints. My worldview and experiences are much different than say a Muslim woman raised in a major urban area or a black man raised in the deep south or even a recent immigrant or a coastal third generation commercial fisherman on one of the coasts. Thats what keeps life interesting!

    @SacralHeart777, how do you know only a certain body type get all the requests? Have you taken the time to ask; either the women or the men you think are getting all the requests? I have a certain man who fits your description almost exactly and he has dozens of women as friends with accompanying glamor shots but I can tell you SH that he is the one reaching out to me, he is the one who has sent me a friend request. He actually isn't my type at all, yet because he carries on a nice conversation and we all have a Need to be ACCEPTED(which is why the majority of us are on here to begin with) I'm guessing most accepted his unsolicited request so we have at least one friend to show on our profile. That quest to be part of the in crowd, the popular kids, the cool group, which I'm guessing is also the case with you to some degree doesn't leave us upon graduating high school. Now saying that, so what if they do get a lot of requests? I woman who is into that type of man will not be drawn to an athletic or fit man because it's not what attracts her. Ditto for the man who is into tall and slim, he wouldn't go for my short and curvy, I'm not his type so why would I want to cuddle him, if those men don't send me a cuddle request i'm okay with that.

    I purposely don't post a public picture of myself because that's not the reason I'm here but also because whoever recognizes my pic will already have something in common with me. I also don't post a pic because without sounding conceited I have no issues whatsoever with men wanting to date me, correction - fuck me. They see my shape, my face, my hair and don't take the time to see the mind, the soul, the person. I may be 49 1/2 but I look and carry myself like a much younger woman in fact even other women guess me to be younger than 35.

    @DarrenWalker Maybe the "I want to get comfortable touching women so I'll be better at sex" bit on your profile is freaking people out? Could be.

    When I read his profile I didn't get that at all. What I got from that line was that he is actually trying to mature his interpersonal skills and treatment of women to not be all about the body or sex because marriages don't last if that's the only way a spouse sees you. What I read in that was he wants to learn how to better relate to a woman non sexually, intimately.

    Lastly, there is an issue with this site that indeed many of the profiles with hot sexy pictures are now professionals and if you take the time to read other treads in the forums you'll see that many have had issues with those people as well not just you. It is too bad that this site is run the way it is, but this is also a free site without paid staff so you get what you pay for and if we don't use common sense in making arrangements then it's a good lesson for all of us. I don't know that I will have much luck on here because of my geographic location. The majority of the men within a 50 mile radius of me are either inactive for over 6 months, don't have anything filled out on their profile, the pictures on his profile tells me they are just here for hook ups or a combination of the above. Even better the one or two that have responded had replies along the lines of "I'm done with the drama a girlfriend brings" or "I'm looking for 'cuddling' without commitment". I'm on the edge of the oilfield, a barren, deserted 500 square mile zone of nothingness including people. The men around me listed those towns are most likely working 60 to 80 hour weeks, not seeing more than 5 other men for 7 days straight and just want to have their physical needs met, they don't have the time for anything else especially when you take into account that getting from one town to the next is a convoluted circuit of right angles making a drive that would take 45 minutes with a interstate system or even good highways a 2 hour drive with slow moving heavy traffic!

    But I probably am going to stick around much like Darren because I like the forums, the controversy on those forums, and I am a eternal optimist, one day I'll get a request to meet for actual cuddling and not a one night(or weekend) stand. Oilfield men have money, they would gladly bring me to them, put me in a hotel room and wine, dine and use me at their expensive including gas to and from; but like you SacralHeart, like your name suggests I'm looking for the deep connection, the quest to find true intimacy in today's society.

    Sorry all, I'm running on three hours sleep so if I offended it was only partially intended in a general grow the fuck up way.

    Sacral Heart, stop arguing back! Give it time, Chocolatetreat makes an excellent point, as do some of the others. Sheeds, shish, enough already. Lets just all agree to disagree, after all isn't that why we are reading and writing on the forums to begin with?? Guess what all? Same sexes can friend request without coming off as anything but friends. Besides isn't lively conversation the next best thing to an occasional cuddle? At least you're getting it regularly!!

    Hugs and Cuddles

    Sweet P

  • SacralHeart777SacralHeart777

    To Kaiterpillar:
    And maybe this post strikes a nerve because you one of those capitalizing "Dollar signs in the eyes" girls I'm talking about ? Lol

    Frankly put, I'm 0% angry and pretty soon this account will probably go dead.
    I have a productive life and won't lose 10 seconds of sleep
    I actually Love the controversy this post caused.
    That's the YANG FORCE I honor in me that SUPPOSED TO DO THAT HUN!??
    Real men don't bite their tongue
    Whether you like what they saying or not

  • PaulaDahlaPaulaDahla

    For the record @SacralHeart777, I don't go for looks so much as cleanliness, who wants to cuddle a stinky nasty,,,,you get my point. But have a physical need to be cuddled with a man thats larger that me, pyschological I guess, that need to be shielded/protected, I like a man that's able to wrap around my wide hips and bigger butt and not get lost with his slimness. I'd be all over you if we were closer, plus I'm guessing we could have great conversations WHILE cuddling!

  • SacralHeart777SacralHeart777

    Pauladaula
    YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND!
    You think just like I do:
    The philosopher, the open-ended inquiry, Constructive Critic, Devil's advocate etc

    THANKS!
    I embrace your advice more than anyone that post here today?

  • SacralHeart777SacralHeart777

    Ha ha! Paula...
    I hear you.
    I sometimes cant take the dishonesty that people have about looks even with cuddles.
    Truthfully,
    I'm truly not here for sex at all... That's takened care of in my life.
    But on the other hand no I won't Cuddle someone I honestly feel is unattractive.
    Decent, well put together and clean is okay enough for me though.

    And Probably 85%-90% of men on here probably won't either, because that's how we are wired.
    and guessing since women honestly do operate more from the heart than men probably as high as 60% of y'all won't.

    You are so outspoken and such a Free-thinker type, why you can't live next to NY/NJ??

  • sheedssheeds

    @SacralHeart777 is a fake profile. Fucking loser.

    If he was real he would leave.

  • sheedssheeds

    @SacralHeart777 is a gutless POS. Be warned ladies and gentlemen

  • SacralHeart777SacralHeart777

    No I'm not a fake profile ... Look at my pics again in 10 minutes, I'm going to actually add a different one

    If I was fake I wouldn't be able to do that right??? Lol
    And Oooooooo! You cursed at me.

    I may report you, and get you banned
    No matter how controversial I may appear I never once disrespected anyone personally here?

    You just mad that I told you about your mother being a member?
    Hey! I would of been suprised too ?

  • SacralHeart777SacralHeart777

    Sheeds did you take your meds today?? ??

  • SacralHeart777SacralHeart777
    edited September 2018

    Hey,
    Sheeds is racist y'all, here's the proof!
    what he just sent me in my inbox.

    Removed quoted contents. Sheeds is banned. [Mark]

  • sheedssheeds
    edited September 2018

    Don't be fooled. A real man won't disrespects someone's mom.

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