Heck yeah and haggle. What’s the worse that can happen? Barter as well.
I'm not a pro, but I'd feel too shy to ask for a deal on like anything. That might be just a me problem or cultural difference.
I looked at the client service agreement and the terms of service, I didn’t read them word for word but I skimmed and I also searched for the words, barter, haggle and negotiate and didn’t find anything. Where exactly does it say that haggling/negotiating is against the rules?
I ran the agreement through with my AI Claude and it said there wasn't anything against negotiating... Per Claude
The language "as previously agreed between the Cuddler and Client" suggests that pricing is determined through some negotiation or agreement process between the two parties before the session is confirmed, but the agreement itself doesn't establish any rules, limits, or procedures for how that negotiation should happen.
@joe7 The mods do not actively monitor all messages on this site, so I would presume that the pro reported you for attempting to negotiate. If you have a question about that policy, ask the Admin that gave you a timeout.
There is a Mega Pricing thread if you would like to complain about Pro’s pricing structure.
There is a Suggestions for Site Improvements thread if you would like to offer up something constructive.
@joe7 Did you ask for a discount through the site or off the site?
If it was reported and action was taken by admin, then then my assumption is there is more to what happened than a simple friendly inquiry about discounts.
While using the website, you agree that you shall not under any circumstances harass or make mischief against any other user of the Website. Cuddle Comfort reserves the right to determine, at its sole discretion, what constitutes harassment or mischief, and where that has occurred; and may, also at its sole discretion, partially or completely deny service to any infringing party.
If you were told no and persisted in requesting a discount, then she could report you for the above. As you can see from this part of Terms and Conditions, this is a broad umbrella. You are not suppose to bash, ridicule, and complain about pricing on the forums so by extension this could also apply to DMs as well.
I agree with others. Haggling is tacky, but actual bartering a service for a service or item is at the discretion of the pros. But as with most things between individuals, no means no.
Asking for a discount from a professional you have not yet met is not explicitly against the rules. However, it's so frequently associated with problematic behaviour that it's regarded as a red flag.
Both bargaining and bartering are perfectly common between clients and professionals they know well (i.e. after many sessions, not just three or four). But doing it right off the bat with somebody new is rude because cuddling is such a personal service. The "thing" you are negotiating over is somebody's emotional capacity to care for you, not a trinket in a tourist market.
The question is if this is against the rules. Explicitly, it appears not to be. If the user then continued to ask, that could be considered harassment.
Since we don't know what OP actually did and what the admin said was against the rules, it's hard to determine what rule was broken.
I wonder if some folks here take "haggling" to mean trying to negotiate the rate after the pro has arrived. I agree, that's wrong. You agree on the rate and set the booking. Likewise, sending a lowball offer is insulting.
But negotiating should not be a problem. The pro can always just say "no" to offers below her posted rate. My own mental image of this is contacting a pro and asking something like "do you offer a multi-hour discounted rate?" or "will you waive your posted travel fee for a multi-hour session?" or such.
If the haggling occurred off site after agreeing to the price on site then it is a violation. It is on the client service agreement that you will agree to a price ON SITE. If it was done off site after agreeing then it falls under that broad umbrella of harassment. I suspect that’s what happened but we won’t know because we are only hearing one side of the story and there are three sides—the client, the pro, and the moderator.
I’m lost on what the rule is here. And maybe the word haggling implies something more aggressive. But I disagree that asking for a discount is inherently tacky.
Attorneys are often encouraged (and in some cases required) to serve the public interest and promote goodwill for our profession. Taking cases on a pro bono basis or at a reduced rate can help to accomplish that. I know I regularly give discounted and/or free services based on a clients’ ability to pay. But sometimes I do that for my own reasons, like getting my name associated with different cases, causes, or communities.
And in my experience, cuddle pros end up raising their rates anyway, to offset the strain created by flakes and boundary-pushers. So, to my mind, it makes similar sense to reward clients who avoid those behaviors by waiving the «PITA» surcharge. So, I don’t see why people should hesitate to inquire whether they or their circumstance might qualify for a reduced rate. And I don’t see why doing so would connote inappropriate / non-platonic intent.
🙈
While some people may see asking for a discount or bargaining as tacky (I don't as there may be disabilities, different condtions, and veteran status to consider), I think the mental gymnastics to justify a ban here is too much of a stretch. The site should be clearer of the rules, not use some generalized umbrella statement that cites harrassment.
Don’t barter/haggle. They set their price for a reason, just like you set whatever search preferences you have for a reason.
@dan_blue Definitely agree! 😃👍
I have a question for every person in this thread that is saying haggling is bad, tacky or whatever word that you used. Are you saying that you’ve never haggled/negotiated the price of a service or product in your life?
@Morpheus no I haven’t, at least not if that isn’t an expected and accepted part of the interaction.
And again, because of the risks involved in being a pro cuddler, particularly for women, I would feel like a scumbag trying to use money (or lack thereof) to manipulate or coerce a female cuddler. Feels like crossing a boundary before we’ve even met.
I think the problem is with the folks who persistently haggle even after being told no. In one recent case a pro agreed to a discount if it was a multi hour booking - which the client immediately turned around and asked if she would honor the same rate but only do one hour. Yes that client was banned, but only because there were multiple warnings and a pattern of such behavior, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer.
That's actually an insane rule if it exists. You can attempt to portray this service as anything but a transactional one but it is only a transactional action at the end of the day. To state that the consumer doesn't have a right to petition a lower/discounted cost to cuddle is extremely weird, and unethical towards the consumer. A consumer has a right to ask certain requests and that includes questioning the cost of a service. I've on multiple occasions have been able to lower the cost of a service by health care providers which is a lot more of a professional service than cuddling.
Now I simply am ignorant of what the communication entails between providers and consumers on this site however, if they are persistently asking the same question to to a single or multiple providers it just seems like harassment - just ban it.
@Morpheus, arguably haggling is intrinsically bad, rude, tacky or whatever because it implies that the vendor is not being honest about the price, or that the buyer does not especially value the goods or services offered. However, whether this is really true or not is heavily dependent on culture and context. At a car boot sale in the UK, it's normal but still the exception. In certain countries, it's assumed. But try it in a supermarket and you'll just get funny looks.
Haggling for services is generally less common than haggling for goods because services are more personal.
Haggling without understanding the context is tacky because it means you don't care about the other person's feelings. In most cases, haggling for cuddling is tacky because rates are so low already. And haggling for cuddling with a stranger is always tacky because it's such a personal service.
I have haggled in numerous contexts, and at times it's been part of my job. Even though it's not the default in Western society, it is amazing what you negotiate if you establish a little rapport first and then ask nicely. Or when sellers are a bit desperate.
My least successful attempt at haggling was when purchasing an umbrella during a tropical rainstorm.
There is an expectation on certain items and industries that haggling will take place—like buying a house, getting bids on contractor work, cars etc. But unless the pro cuddler specifically says in their profile that she offers discounts to people who can’t afford it, or certain type of workers like first responders, it feels to me like you are saying to that individual they are not worth their posted price. They are worth what they say they are worth and if one does not like their rate you have the freedom to go to the next individual. These ladies are independent contractors and the site reserves the right to protect them from harassment. It just feels disrespectful if you can afford it but habitually ask for a discount. Just my opinion and not a hard rule. I would rather be respectful than save a couple of dollars.
EDIT: I would add that a couple of pros have told me and I have seen it posted in the forums that their experiences with guys who want to talk their price down are usually problematic with pushing boundaries during a session. This, of course, does a disservice to those enthusiasts who really do need a hand up and have no ill intentions.
You're overthinking this to a crazy extent and making a ton of assumptions and should I even say cognitive distortions. If someone asks you to provide a lower rate this could come from many perspectives such as the person not having the financial resources, desire to have a more competitive price, probing for consideration, who knows maybe they are making a joke or something. To assume its purely out of malice like, they clearly don't appreciate or value me as a person is such a dramatic an extreme stance to take when you know nothing about the person.
Also, I really don't know what markets you can't haggle unless its the government and please don't equate cuddling providers to the government.
People are allowed to ask questions or make requests - If you're against this then I really don't know what to tell you.
asks you to provide a lower rate this could come from many perspectives such as the person not having the financial resources, desire to have a more competitive price, probing for consideration, who knows maybe they are making a joke or something
I said this earlier and I was passing along what pros have told me over the years. Not making any assumptions as I said none of us know and a mod already weighed in on why they will get in trouble for this—continually asking after being told no, which is what I said early on in this thread.
Here’s what I can tell you—it was my opinion as I said and yours is no more valid than mine. You can chase your tail all you want but you won’t change my mind and I am not trying to change yours on this topic. I never said you couldn’t ask, I just said it comes across as tacky IN MY OPINION.
I agree with @pmvines @CuddleDuncan @TheFunCartel It is not the Pro’s responsibility to take into account other’s deficient resources. She/he has set their fee based on many factors and it is what it is. There are so many things that I accept that I can’t afford, and I’m not so arrogant as to expect a lower price just to suit my budget. Honestly the expectations and entitlement from some men here is just disgusting. Now, go ahead and ask for special treatment because of your lack of respect (and income) for the Pros here, some might agree who knows but if not - understand the consequences you might receive.
@g_w_t_w
Agreed. It's conflicting enough to me that I see so many folks on here being treated like their bodies and mental energy are a commodity (a commodity that unfortunately doesn't always get treated with respect and dignity) to be rented and graded on a scale one to five. They shouldn't have to worry about their rates not being honored and respected too. It's not a yard sale.
This is like asking your massage therapist or counselor to take a lower rate than stated written rates because you somehow deserve lower price . Plus that professional cuddler, as part of their work, has to be up close, in close proximity and personal with you. And now you are asking them to take less money?
Every professional cuddler has their own rate and you have so many options on CC to either pay that rate or see someone else with a cheaper rate. There are so many professional cuddlers on here and so many price points. You have options.
For many professional cuddlers it’s states on their profiles, asking for discount or cheaper rates means you will be automatically blocked.
Good Lord. These women aren't solving cancer and didn't get their doctrine in cuddle-ology. Their rates fluctuate all the time. Sometimes they run specials as well. They also offer services that aren't cuddling, like being a plus one at an event, which is already sketchy. It's not tacky or dis-respectuful to offer a what you can afford. Just use your head and don't brow beat them. If she says no, say that's fine, if you are wiling to meet me at X price, please message back. That's it. But to suggest that it is "against" the rules and ban people is insane. Don't listen to these people who defend pros til their dying breath. You are the client, they work for you. Be polite and shoot them a reasonable offer, that's the way life works.
So many people on this thread have zero idea what they are talking about. Its perfectly legal and acceptable to ask someone to take a different payment method, pay a difference, or even tip?
From working with several business in the real world this is perfectly acceptable and in my personal life I've always negotiated prices when applicable or simply asked about the price of a service. Its absolutely crazy if you believe that CC is somehow exempt to this.
Once again almost every single person on this thread is committing Hanlonz Razors fallacy here. Its laughable to think you can assume someones intent and therefore their personality and their perspective on you from a simple question.
@Midnight01 omg, some reason for once once on this thread. hahahahaha.
The most successful business people in the world routinely negotiate goods and services—it’s a fundamental business practice. I am a professional who provides legal services.
I see negotiation requests here described as “manipulative” or “tacky,” sometimes accompanied by assumptions about a client’s financial resources. That framing misses the broader picture and possible dollars in your pocket. A request to negotiate pricing is not a personal value judgment; it’s a business discussion.
Rates are a professional data point tied to the service being offered, not a reflection of personal worth. Treating them otherwise risks conflating ego with economics.
Those who identify as professionals should consider the broader picture. Running a business requires evaluating more than the face value of a single transaction. You have to do what’s right for you and there are endless ways to tailor this idea in the end.
Consider:
-Can this client in a position to generate referrals? (Are they a psychologist, social worker, primary care doctor?) -Are your current income goals being met? -Does more karma help differentiate you in a competitive market? (Google reviews-Single best marketing tool in my profession) -would a discount package be beneficial to both parties? Say 4 sessions discount package may leave you with several hundreds in the pocket you otherwise don’t have because discounting one session by $25 was deemed unacceptable.
What works for one professional may not work for another. That said, I disagree with blanket statements—particularly from those holding themselves out as professionals—that broadly shame or dismiss these types of requests. Pricing discussions are inherently situational and business-specific.