@idontknoww I think you are missing several considerations that are specific to this business model. And yes you are correct that negotiations go on in business every minute of the day. I have built and sold two businesses and now I find myself in the architectural world where volume drives price but product availability is often more important than price. So yes, I understand the very basic concepts you threw out.
But the first thing you should consider in a business where you are limited by time and resources is how much is your time worth? That is what the rates the pros are posting reflect. If they are open to discounts or bartering as some post on their profiles that is their decision, but there are good reasons why some do not offer discounts—because of time. Please allow me to explain and I appreciate your practical approach to expressing your opinion rather than the anger expressed by others who disagree (why so angry about an opinion is mystifying).
This is a side gig for many of these women and as women, most are bombarded with messages that range from the serious and appropriate requests to dehumanizing demands. The number of messages can at times be overwhelming. While your points on business considerations are apt, most examples of services are supported by a staff that sifts through the requests. Even your neighborhood dentist has a receptionist. But many of these women are single mothers with children making ends meet but with very limited resources and time. Some of the younger women may be buried in student loan debt and working three jobs. This has been a common thread in the years I have used CC. I love meeting new people and I love to hear about their lives but the two examples I put forward are constant reminders of very real struggles many of them face on a daily basis with little relief in sight.
Compound the number of messages with the time wasters who just want an online friend, the potential johns trying to coerce sexual favors from them, and now those that want a discount on a service that is purely a side gig. And before you say they should put more time and focus into this by assessing discounts, they also deal with guys who try to get them banned for not providing extras, some who become on-line stalkers, and the many guys who try to tell them how they should run their business. I am amazed how the few who continue to do this long term do it, because it can be emotionally exhausting over time. Yet they still offer comfort and put themselves and their bodies in situations where the power dynamics if something goes sideways is stacked against them. When I say bickering for a few dollars is tacky, it is for these reasons. I understand the pros who have little patience for those that ask for discounts—this isn’t their career and their time is as valuable as you think yours is. So this isn’t “conflating ego with economics” but rather empathizing with the situation the situation an individual finds themself in. You can either view it as an opportunity to put a few bucks in your pocket or you can lessen the load on someone who is not as fortunate as you. I choose the latter because I can and the few bucks I might save will not alter my world.
Are there pros I find overpriced? Yes I do but I move on. My time is valuable as well to spend it haggling and if they do not receive the business they desire they will adjust their asking price. If someone else wishes to ask for a discount so be it. That’s on them. But I find it tacky knowing the stories behind many of these pros. That’s me and it works for me and it doesn’t make my opinion wrong. Just as you are not wrong in stating the widespread use of negotiation. I just think that it is tacky in the context of the nascent world of independent cuddle pros.
I agree @idontknoww
And I think American culture of wanting cut and dry quick access up front has a lot to do with it. In other countries, bargaining is encouraged, not frowned upon as a sign of disrespect.
Cuddling is intimate enough that if boundaries are respected, and with enough rapport, a connection can become a continuous relationship in its own way over time. There are pros that I consider friends.
These are the people I consider tipping. They are also the ones who enjoy the session so much they might stay longer. Sometimes we come up with more tailored sessions where we negotiate a price.
If they are getting continuous income from someone they trust and enjoy time with, why wouldn't there be opportunities for price changes? Both above and below?
It's not tacky. It's human. And we're not robots.
In other countries, bargaining is encouraged, not frowned upon as a sign of disrespect.
@Huggycatbear you kind of contradicted yourself in the post because the statement above is true but you mention tipping the pros you like which is frowned upon in other countries. There are a lot of variables at play from country to country and haggling looks very different in each.
Once again almost every single person on this thread is committing Hanlonz Razors fallacy
If you are going to attempt to call people stupid surreptitiously by invoking Hanlon’s Razor, you would think one would spell it correctly.
@TheFunCartel I appreciate what you said.
I'm sharing a broader sense and scope of situations that can arise. Just as you are sharing a broader background on the plights of pro cuddlers. There are countries that bargain. There is a tipping culture here. Why is one appreciated and the other is not?
This community is worldwide.
However we can discuss bargaining all we want here, but I still think CC should have more precise rules in place regarding this.
If this person was banned from repeated propositions on asking for a discount that borders on harrassment, I can understand. But why wasn't this person merely blocked?
To ban someone for nebulous reasons that has left all of us here to speculate and go off our own opinions shows a lack of clarity from the site.
@Huggycatbear Oh I wasn’t placing a value judgement on either. But I think your point about discounting is different from others. You are introducing a pro offering a discount to a valued loyal client. To me that is the pro’s choice and I don’t see anything wrong with it. But I wouldn’t ask for the discount. But that’s my personal choice. My reasoning is simple—I wouldn’t stop tipping my favorite waitress after years of service, so why would I expect a discount after several sessions? If she offers it, then it is freely given.
What everyone else is discussing is asking for a discount before meeting the first time. You can do that—it’s just not my style. And the topic has been twisted and my original suggestion why the OP was blocked and was confirmed by a mod in the thread was overlooked by so many—it’s not the fact that he asked for a discount, but that he didn’t take no for an answer and persisted.
Several people said asking for a discount before meeting is tacky and that is their opinion just like advocating for discounts by some is an opinion. Nothing to get upset about and call people stupid like a couple of guys were doing.
@TheFunCartel I agree! Nobody is stupid here. And nobody should feel ashamed. I love the sharing of perspectives. There is no heat in my words.
If my words had heat we could at least benefit ftom lower winter bills 🥶
I do agree that asking for a discount upfront can be tacky, but what do you think of situations where a veteran is suffering ftom PTSD or someone has a disability? And they might see cuddling as more of an urgent triage?
I wholeheartedly agree with this. At the same time CC is privately held and they can run it any way they choose.
@idontknoww 100% agree. I have never attempted to barter with a pro but I have asked about multi-hour discounts, which seems reasonable to me assuming they have baked the cost of transportation or cleaning / prep time (if they are hosting) into their hourly rate.
One pro I have cuddled with had a whole series of discounts listed in her profile such as 10% off for repeat clients and 20% off for booking on a Tuesday. She even explicitly said in her profile, “inquire about multi-hour discounts”.
From my own experience, which occasionally includes providing litigation support in federal class actions, I know there are many factors that go into the rates set by / accepted by professional service providers. Rates can vary widely depending on length of engagement, potential for future engagements, potential for referrals, entering a new market, etc.
My first litigation support work was at a much lower hourly rate than what I currently charge and I do not do ANY advertising. All the subsequent cases I have been a part of came to me either by referral or reputation in previous cases, so I am happy to have been a part of that first case several years ago.
Most the pro cuddlers that I've met so far have discounts for multiple hours cuddle sessions. Those that don't list any discounts on their profile, I kindly inquire whether they discount multiple hour sessions. Most do, some do not. At the end of the day, it's a business. I've also found that some have discounts for returning clients or for the cuddlers they trust the most. Enjoy the journey!
Hey I'm not saying anything about it being against the site rules and being banned for it etc . And I'm not saying that it inherently is even wrong if you are just giving it a shot and then dropping it if the answer is no. Hell I just asked someone on Etsy if they have any unadvertised discounts they are able to apply. But my opinion is that it is a bit tacky if you're just doing it for the love of fanagling a discount, and is borderline harassment if you keep it up after being told no and most certainly can be demeaning to the service provider. And then when said person says no it's even more tacky to go on the forums to whine about pro prices and how nobody wants to cuddle with your blah blah, as so many people on here are prone to doing because they feel slighted when they don't get their way with things.
As I said, it's not a yard sale.
There doesn't appear to be a formal site policy against haggling/bargaining/negotiation with a pro cuddler re fees at this time. However, if they say no and you persist, the pro could report you for harassment. - BlueIris
This thread has outlived its usefulness. I or another moderator will look at it later and decide whether to move it or leave it here.
To summarise.
- Negotiating rates with a professional is not intrinsically against the terms and conditions because there are circumstances when it is appropriate
- These circumstances tend to arise in the context of a long or complex bookings with a professional the client has met before. They do not arise with a one or two hour first booking
- Asking in an impolite or disrespectful manner, or continuing after the professional has declined, is harassment and will be dealt with accordingly
The relevant part of the terms and conditions is
Conduct .... you agree to conduct yourself civilly and respectfully. While using the website, you agree that you shall not under any circumstances harass or make mischief against any other user of the Website. Cuddle Comfort reserves the right to determine, at its sole discretion, what constitutes harassment or mischief, and where that has occurred; and may, also at its sole discretion, partially or completely deny service to any infringing party.... We reserve the right to ban, suspend or delete any account for any reason.