Boundaries That Shouldn’t Need Explaining

shaunakshaunak
edited December 2025 in General

It’s a bit disheartening that professionals on this platform feel the need to clearly state in their profiles that they offer platonic cuddles only. The purpose of the site is already rooted in non-sexual, platonic connection, and that expectation is outlined plainly in the terms and conditions. Still, the fact that this clarification is necessary suggests that some people don’t fully respect those boundaries. It’s a reminder that maintaining safe, respectful spaces often requires repetition—even when the rules seem obvious. Ideally, platonic intent would be a shared understanding rather than something that needs to be constantly reinforced.

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Comments

  • BohemianguyBohemianguy

    I think it goes both ways. I had my first cuddle sesh a couple days ago. My pro cuddler had on a very seductive,but comfortable, thing on. Cotton, plain, pink, no sleeves,mid thigh, no bra.
    As a man lacking touch it was hard to not caress her butt and breasts. I didn't do anything inappropriate and neither did she. But it was harder to relax. I guess I expected a comfortable workout out fit.
    Am.I making too much out of it?

  • CuddleYoginiCuddleYogini

    I was fully covered yesterday, and my client was trying to open my belly, he literally try to digg with his finger! Some people are confused in this site and we have to be very strict i guess!

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    @CuddleYogini No, not confused. Trying to see what they can get away with.

    @Bohemianguy That pro should be reported. I'm pretty sure there's a rule that states underwear (which of course would include a bra) must be worn. And if the outfit was seductive, another reason to report her.

  • natasya148natasya148

    To be honest… it all depends one the person, one can be covered in a bubble wrap and/or burka and some folks may still try to test their luck.

    Now regarding undergarment rules, would be nice if folks wear them. However forcing women to wear bra, does that mean if someone has man-boobs they ought to wear one too…? Just saying… 🤔

  • SpaceGoatSpaceGoat

    “seductive outfit” is subjective though?

    And the ToS does not say you have to wear undergarments. Says you have to be clothed the entire time and areas normally covered by undergarments should be covered.

    A sleeveless cotton shirt with shorts is a normal outfit… this is when your self control comes in. Or if you are uncomfortable with braless now you know to mention that to a pro ahead of time.

  • great_pillow08great_pillow08
    edited December 2025

    @CuddleYogini I just make sure they know that I know what areas aren't okay and reiterate that the morning before we meet that I'm only open to cuddling.

    I originally thought the issue was that with pros- money was being exchanged so the expectation of "more" was there, but I very quickly found out it's not just with pros.

    It shouldn't need to be reiterated and if it does, I think it needs to be reported and that person should be sent a warning. It's pretty obvious when you sign up what is and isn't acceptable, so I think that'd be fair.

  • hugsnotbugs98hugsnotbugs98

    @natasya148 now that you mention it , involving bubble wrap in a cuddle would be so much fun! Could be a little sensory icebreaker

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited December 2025

    @Bohemianguy

    As a man lacking touch it was hard to not caress her breasts and butt? Do you seriously not see why this is a problematic.statememt that essentially says you can't control your impulses because of what a person is wearing?

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @pmvines
    And the man you’re addressing is 66 and still having trouble controlling himself.
    Maybe he should’ve refused to cuddle until she put on the appropriate required clothing. Anyway, the barely-dressed Pro definitely needs to be reported.
    I thought the minimum clothing requirement of 2 layers top and bottom for women was stated somewhere, also 2 layers bottom and 1 layer top for men. It’s obviously easy to understand but some people refuse to comply.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    @CuddleYogini what you you mean when you say he was trying to open your belly? Do you mean open your shirt? Or do you mean he was literally digging his fingers into your body? Touching your belly is platonic touch but digging fingers into any part of your body is pretty weird.

  • CuddleYoginiCuddleYogini

    @Morpheus he was trying to open my Tshirt and touching my skin.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    Oh okay I read it like he was trying to dig his fingers into your body. That would have been bizarre.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I just looked at the terms of service and the client service agreement and see nothing about about 2 layers of clothing. I thought at one point it said shorts and t shirt minimal but I don’t see that anymore.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    I do know that mods remove any men’s profile photos showing themselves without a shirt unless swimming or at the beach/pool. The reason being that a shirt is required as a minimum of clothing to cuddle.

  • AchterbahnAchterbahn

    Just so everyone is on the same page, the parts of the Client Service Agreement that talk about clothing are these rules:

    Both parties will remain clothed the entire session. Undergarments do not constitute as sufficient clothing. If either party needs to change clothing this will be done in private and out of sight of the other party. If a Client shows off areas normally covered by undergarments purposely, the Cuddler has the right to end the session immediately.

    No touching in areas covered by undergarments is permitted. If this occurs, the Cuddler has the right to end the session immediately. No kissing is allowed.

    Cleanliness and adequate hygiene is required by both parties. This specifically includes showering/teeth brushed within 12 hours of the appointment, wearing freshly laundered clothing, and no (or minimal) perfume/cologne be worn by both parties unless requested.

    In addition, the part of the Terms and Conditions that discusses clothing is here:

    When communicating with another member, you agree to never indicate a desire to cuddle while doing any of the following: (1) being nude, (2) wearing only underwear, (3) kissing, (4) groping, (5) satisfying a fetish or kink, and (6) anything of a non-platonic nature.

    Finally, in the FAQ, the question about clothing is answered like this:

    What do people wear when cuddling?

    Wear whatever is comfortable; at minimum, shorts and a tee shirt or tank top. Some people wear pajamas or yoga pants.

    Skin on skin contact can be very beneficial and releases oxytocin, but note that the phrase "lots of skin contact" can be interpreted as sexually oriented, even if it is innocently intended.

    Both the Terms of service (for everyone on this site) and the Client Service Agreement (for professionals and clients) disallow cuddling nude or in underwear only.

  • jps76jps76

    I think it's funny that this thread started with someone saying that a cuddler shouldn't have to state that they only offer platonic services as they is already mentioned in the ToS, but apparently people don't know the ToS by heart

  • CurvyGirlCurvyGirl

    I've had guys attempt to kiss me or lift my shirt or run their hand over my bum, try putting their hands in my pants, trying to be sneaky, saying they only cuddle like that. To many, platonic means no sexual intercourse, but sexual caressing is okay, which doesn't mean that at all. I've had to remove myself from multiple men who wanted skin-on-skin contact or tried to dry hump me randomly. I've had men report me numerous times because I didn't want to offer skin-on-skin or tell them what size bra I wore.

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod
    edited December 2025

    It is sad they need to state it, but it needs to be repeated frequently because many people that join have zero regard for the platonic nature of the site and are either looking for sex workers, or trying to push someone for sex like it’s a game. It takes a lot of trust to cuddle someone and one should always be extremely careful about who they choose to cuddle. There is a vibrant community of platonic cuddle enthusiasts, but a lot of terrifying people that can and will assault you. Screening is so incredibly important and cannot be emphasized enough. And that screening is on us. There is a tradeoff here by having such a large community and, in a pros case, availability of clients, that is that anyone can join and it’s entirely on each of us to try our hardest to make sure the person we are meeting is legit. And even with the most rigorous screening it’s sometimes not enough. So yes, repeat your boundaries and enforce them, and report bad actors vigorously.

  • QualTy1QualTy1

    Yes, they honestly do not care what the rules state. I've also had guys who have even been banned start new profiles, find and message me and start up with the same mess. I'm cautious of anyone asking me for more pics or full body pics. They're all on my profile. They say certain things in off-site convo that lets me see that they're NOT following the guidelines and I will report them. I genuinely want to help and be there for people who are without the love and affection, close human interaction, but it's extremely disheartening when it seems I come across more who take this site or use it as a new age form of "prostitution". I am NOT and, sadly, I have had to tell many guys on here that I am NOT doing ANYTHING sexual and that is not what the site is for or about.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @CharlieBear I like the new identifiable blue Mod box by your name. Let’s me know the law is in town.

  • mimiloveshugs2mimiloveshugs2

    Unfortunately, not only have I had to state it in my profile but restate in messages as well. Even though I joined in June, I haven’t been active on this site until this month because of the concerns regarding solicitation of non platonic services. While I have found a few good clients, I spend most of my time declining services. I’m guessing a lot of people have come over from Craig’s list since the personals shut down. It’s a bit disheartening to be honest but then again I have legitimate massage therapists friends who get solicited too. It’s the unfortunate side of businesses involving human touch, I’m afraid.

  • paulybearpaulybear

    Ask before you touch, even if she’s nude it doesn’t mean “yes” you can touch there. If I like someone and they trust me I’d rather come back and enjoy their company than do anything inappropriate and break the trust they have shown me by how they’ve dressed. And don’t assume anything regardless of what you talked about were allowed to do last time, ask again, people go through experiences you have no idea about and they may be in a different mindset than the last time you saw them.

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear

    Dry humping is so cringe 🤮

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited December 2025

    All I can say to these comments is damn, sorry for y'all's experiences and thanks for sharing

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited December 2025

    @jps76

    And what is funny about that ? Or did I misunderstand your statement ?

  • mimiloveshugs2mimiloveshugs2

    One thing have been doing recently is making consult sessions mandatory. There are a lot of seasoned pros who mandate and charge for consults and I don’t even charge for it but do it to get a sense of what they are really looking for and to help them. Sometimes I’ve used it as an education opportunity.

    As annoying as it is, the more boundaries I set up front, the fewer I have to deal with in the messaging phase. By then it’s just me wasting my time with boundary pushers.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @pmvines you know and so many others know from reading the forum over the years, reading first-hand experiences from women that way too many men here see this as a game, as something fun to push limits and think that assaulting women is a competitive sport. A few comments from a couple of commentators here in this thread are a great example. “Dry-humping is cringe”. No it’s worse than that and it’s something that pathetic men who can’t control themselves, who are pretty immature think is funny. Pathetic men who are desperate and sad and will never get what they want voluntarily.

  • MTexMTex

    @paulybear That's a great mindset. Consent is very important & asking is always the best policy.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited December 2025

    @g_w_t_w

    I honestly don't see how as an adult that a man can use the excuse of not knowing any better. Call me a woke ass liberal this and that but there really isn't any excuse in today's age to not understand and recognize what the effing hell assault and boundary crossing is, and this whole bullshit attitude that some men have about how they are the customer and the woman should appease them and just deal with it with a smile on her face because they are renting her body makes me throw up in my mouth a bit. And the apologists on the forums for this kind of behavior are very transparent with their thinly veiled misogyny and total lack of insight.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @pmvines
    I know.

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