People reporting you for having an opinion?

[Deleted User]Dee83 (deleted user)
edited September 2018 in General

So i posted a discussion on here about finding love without looking for it on cuddle comfort and asking opinions on the topic. Some one felt I was enticing people to break rules and proceeded to report me and so my topic was removed. Just wanted to say that whoever you are, i hope your reading this and i think your a closed minded *** who couldn't see what I was talking about. Was just curious on the matter and was asking for people's opinions on it....that was all. Was really crappy for you report me. Hope your happy?

Removed offensive language [Mark]

Comments

  • MarkMark Mod
    edited September 2018

    As this is potentially a discussion about moderation and content flagging, I'm quoting the post below as reference:

    So was wanting to start this discussion based on me being such an insomniac that my mind wonders and begins to deep analyze evrything lol. Here laying in bed since 4 am (central US time) was thinking if anyone has ever found love in here. The type of love that just gives, the type your not searching for but just happens. Could some one find a connection with another on here so deep, that they can't help but break the rules and act on their most inner desires with them?? Want to read opinions please?

    It was reported for potentially being seen as supportive of romantic intentions here. It was removed as a precaution.

  • [Deleted User]Dee83 (deleted user)

    Thank you Mark

  • [Deleted User]snughugs (deleted user)

    I see why this was initially removed (although I wasn't the one who flagged it). It seems harmless in essence, but discussions like this could lead to a lot of awkward situations where people develop unrequited romantic feelings and think 'well it was talked about on the site so it's fine, right?'. To me this is no different than the various men who post asking what to do if they become physically aroused. What you do is remember that that isn't what this site is here for, pull yourself together and get on with your platonic cuddling.. Realistically if two people hit it off romantically of course they'll become a couple but I think it's a terrible idea to foster an environment here that encourages that. After all, there are already so many spaces for romantic cuddle requests, I really don't see why genuine platonic cuddlers can't have just one place to ourselves.

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    I came across one profile where the lady posted at the end of her bio that she had now found a lifetime cuddler (via this site) and would not be responding to any more messages. She included a link to her blog where she described in text and photos the adventures she and her new partner were enjoying travelling all over the USA. So that may not be the purpose of this site, but whenever two people get together, obviously it can happen.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    One of the benefits of seeing a professional is having clear boundaries and no concerns of any romantic or physical expectations. As a professional, you should be prepared to maintain that professional relationship, no matter your feelings. Just the same as when my heat pump guy comes to provide service at my house, he is not permitted to ask me out on a date. On the same note, people meet their future partners in all different types of situations. We are human, and there is always the possibility of meeting your person in a professional setting. But you need to approach the situation 100% for your client. If your feelings get to be too strong, regardless of how the client feels, and you can't push them aside for the benefit of the client/professional relationship, then you need to fire yourself and cease the professional relationship. Never pursue a romantic relationship while continuing the professional relationship. Just the morals of being a professional O:-)

  • [Deleted User]Dee83 (deleted user)

    Thank you guys for your honest opinions. Love your insight ubergigglefritz. Was well put? This isn't my case of any sorts but was just curious about it and glad I was able to get some really good responses. They were much appreciated?❤

  • SnugglyBugglySnugglyBuggly

    @ubergigglefritz nicely put!

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    ? We have enough difficulty convincing clients we are not available for romantic relationships as it is. You don't want them thinking there is any remote possibility that you will develop feelings as well ? Deal with the rare stars align soul mates meet situation if you're lucky enough, but in general, not available to date, and not available to hang out as friends ? Easier if you have strong boundaries and maintain the integrity of the professional relationship.

  • CreativeCuddlesCreativeCuddles

    I think no matter how we word something in a forum there will always be one person who finds just cause to report you or reason to find fault in your question.

  • [Deleted User]Dee83 (deleted user)

    True creative cuddles. I think that we r not in elementary school anymore and it's not a monkey see monkey do thing. We r mature enough to know that just because a topic is being discussed, that's not reason enough to have an excuse to go out and do some thing. Taboos are created by closed minded people

  • CuddleStellaCuddleStella

    Thank you @ubergigglefritz for your insight! I second her input

  • CreativeCuddlesCreativeCuddles

    @Dee83 One thing I have found as well is a FB group I am in is there are people from all over the world and certain words don’t mean the same thing to two different countries and we don’t think twice about things like that. We assume everyone thinks the same and it may take only a word or two to turn the whole explanation in a different direction. I am guilty with a post I made, it was harmless but after someone pointed something out I felt so bad because I didn’t intend it the way it sounded and I would never intentionally hurt anyone. I was on a date recently with a guy from italy (only lived here 5 years) and some of the simplist of phrases I wouldn’t think anyone would misunderstsnd he did. Luckily he laughed but I felt bad. I try to be more careful in forums but anyone reading this please note if I insult your culture please don’t hesitate to point it out so we all learn from it.

  • [Deleted User]Dee83 (deleted user)

    Very true @creativecuddles. Will keep that in mind more, thank you.

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24

    If a pair of cuddlers discovered , that they have developed a passionate love , for each other , forget about website rules .
    I’m sure the OP , means lovers that are constantly texting each other , and day dreaming , so consumed with each other that they don’t really need a cuddler partner other than each other,and will tie the knot.
    Actually , if you read the T&C’s, the rules prohibit “progressing the cuddling encounters to a sexual nature” . I interpret that as a FWB , or a NSA arrangement.

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)

    @cuddlerforu24 You reveal your bias and you sound like a dozen other accounts that are now closed.
    If you want to apply a legalist, judgemental attitude, you should know that it sounds like whining.
    Everyone knows that relationships can happen, people can make decisions, things happen.

    If you have proof that someone is violating, then you get to decide if you want to report their account.

    In my "opinion", if I see something "wrong", I make a decision based on how it directly impacts people. I have reported accounts where I "suspect" there is a detrimental problem, and I drop it. I let the moderators decide if they need to act. I don't do that often. If I have proof and I "think/feel" it is being directly detrimental, same thing I consider reporting the account. If I become aware of something and it isn't directly hurting anyone, I generally keep my nose out-of-it.

    Just as no one can make that decision for me, no one can dictate another cuddlers behaviour. But there is an agreement. If someone breaks the agreement, they shouldn't have. They are probably not acting in a friendly and platonic mindset. But why make such a noise about it. Make the decision to report the account, if you want. Block the account if you want, But that's as far as I take it. I don't make public noise about what I "feel" or what I can prove. It doesn't belong in public. It just riles-people-up and takes fun out of hanging around with these great people.

    I have a ton of great friendships starting up here. I've even written people poetry. Are you going to police that behavior next? That can be your next thread. "When does a relationship break the agreement?" laughing cynically.

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24

    @galowglass let me ask you something .
    Do you love your wife ?, the one you kiss butt too ( you said that in another thread)

    If you first met her on this website , would you tell her that you two can’t get married and have children , because you signed up on Cuddle comfort , and you made an agreement . Yes or no ?

  • respectfulrespectful
    edited September 2018

    @cuddler4u24 "If a pair of cuddlers discovered , that they have developed a passionate love , for each other , forget about website rules"

    There's no actual rule against developing a relationship with another cuddler; here's how it's expressed in the FAQ under "How do platonic relationships work?":

    Cuddle Comfort has no desire to police people's relationships. If after getting to know each other two cuddlers want to change their relationship to a romantic one, they can obviously do that.

    It's about intent. If someone's approaches people here looking for a date etc. then they are missing the point and on the wrong site (and likely to be banned).

    But if they start out with a platonic relationship that both people want to become romantic after a while, there's no issue.

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)

    @cuddlerforu24

    That ended up being 2 questions:
    1) Yes, I love my wife (even if that's none of your business).
    2) No. I think you may want to carefully re-read my post if you want to understand it, because you don't get it yet.

    The agreement is guidelines with consequences. It's not a legally binding contract on many levels. I choose to follow or not follow the guidelines. If in the future, I decide to break from following the guidelines, the same things I laid out, above, apply to me.

    I also said that you as a person can watch people's behaviour. You get to choose whether you think they are breaking the agreement. You get to choose if you want to report the account. You can choose to block any account, from which you don't want to receive IM's, or for them to be able to see your profile.

    Then it is up to the moderators to handle according to their evaluation and goals.

    There's no "adult" reason to go spewing it, in the forums. But that's also your choice. Have at it. I can't trip-you-up any more than you are already doing, yourself. Again, your choice.

    You have all the power you choose to use. The better you learn to use it with tact and grace now, while you're yet to become an adult, the better able you will be able to use it for your benefit and those around you, later.

    Again, your choices. Have at it.
    Peace, -D-

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)

    Oh, that same person who has been deleted repeatedly, who you resemble in speech and manner, also made veiled threats by bringing my marriage into a public setting. Shame on you.

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24

    Galowglass , I used your marriage as an example that : ( What respectful said) there are choices you can make ..... go on romantically , or , leave each other and perhaps write poetry ( like you do)

    Are you saying I threatened you?

  • [Deleted User]galowglass (deleted user)

    What I said is in the post. Please re-read if needed. I don't feel any need to repeat myself or to clarify.
    (It's an adult skillset)

  • MarkMark Mod
    edited September 2018

    This is really a non-issue. As mentioned by @respectful, it all comes down to intent.

  • PaulaDahlaPaulaDahla

    Well said Respectful and @Mark, we would all be a better community if we each were able to step over an argumentative poster and move forward in the forums.
    It takes two to keep an argument alive, let it die of starvation please. We are all adults here and should be able to disengage from inflammatory comments.
    Don't feed the Trolls! It does get tiring trying to read through all the pettiness. Thanks so much.

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