Overall I feel refreshed after each session
I feel the same way. I feel more in the moment and ready to take on the world but usually I just fall asleep and dream of Bichon Frises playing football in little helmets.
As a pro cuddler (and trained and insured as such) I always do a follow-up check in with clients the next day as part of my aftercare for them.
It's not uncommon for people to experience a "cuddle come-down" and this is caused by a few things.
Firstly, the natural hormones that are increased when cuddling can make us feel a little lower as they start to rebalance.
If someone has had some emotions/memories/triggers come up during or after the session - remember, for some clients, this IS therapy, it's a way of working through touch and/or relational challenges, then they might still take a few days to process these. Again, this is why aftercare is an important part of my work.
Lastly, even if it was a thoroughly enjoyable session, it can still be quite an energetically draining experience for some and so resting and recharging time is important too.
Checking in the next day also helps you to learn your client or cuddle buddy's patterns and makes for building better aftercare going forward and overall, leads to a greater cuddling relationship.
We must remember that we are all different, we all use this site differently and for different reasons and, as humans, we all respond and react differently to cuddle sessions. There is no right and wrong ( as long as we are all offering respectful, consensual, platonic touch) and we shouldn't be judging or shaming anyone for feeling or experiencing things in a way we don't.
At the end of the day, we all want touch and human connection - let us keep that at the forefront of our minds when replying to threads on here.
Much love and hugs to you all, Samii
@Samii_Hugs Love that you do an aftercare follow-up. That is such a nice touch.
To the others: it's natural to have a comedown afterwards. And there is nothing wrong with you if you experience this.
Think about this: If you would tell someone outside of this community that you cuddle random people you've just met, they might think something is wrong with you. But those within this community wouldn't see it that way. They would see cuddling as a judgement free zone.
And I hope that people can be encouraged for discussion with similar grace.
For sure. I used to attend a group in the late '70s and early '80s called The California Men's Gathering. They held yearly retreats, and we were always quite ceremonious when a retreat ended because we all knew how rare and unique that kind of connection was compared to the rest of society. I feel a similar sense of connection here on CC. After a session, I often have to peel myself away from my cuddle buddy and reacclimate to a world where most people avoid eye contact, let alone touch, or heaven forbid, cuddling a stranger! Btw, @SqueezeBuddy I really like your About Me section.
@PeopleLikeUs Good point, I've experienced the same kind of displacememt. Where you're on this warm voyage with someone outside of this world. Sensations and conversations would ignite the deep spiritual/philosophical self that doesn't exist within our timeline.
After, a return to a world that is noticeably colder.
Well, empathy has its rewards. Life as we face it day to day is kinda screwed sometimes.
Expressing these bigger than life feelings to strangers in a forum requires courage. So hats off to those who do.
I may have said it before,
"Out of all the things that we share with each other daily, no matter the price, cuddling is by far the most important."
I transition back to everyday life pretty easily because the connection during a session is meaningful but grounded, so the after-glow feels calm and peaceful rather than overwhelming.
I’m always feeling great and glowing after my session! Hope my cuddle buddy is too?
Is it difficult to switch from such intense physical intimacy back into your personal life once the clock stops?
For Me, it's just cuddling and enjoying someone's company...😊🫂
There's really nothing "intense" about it, and nothing "difficult" occurs after cuddling is over for Me either. 😊😏
People also have different sensitivities to energy. Intense for some. Not so much for others.
Life is too short to go back to the usual. Stay weird.
Hey! As a pro I do my best to check in with clients and keep the lines of communication open outside of sessions. I value mental health as I'm a behavioral specialist in my professional career. ❤️
Just throwing this out there—maybe it helps to have something you genuinely enjoy doing for yourself as a go-to after a session. It could be anything. The idea isn’t avoidance, but retraining the brain to recognize that deep, connective, fulfilling experiences don’t only come from another person.
Having a personal anchor like that can help with self-regulation and ease the transition back into “regular” life by shifting into a different, but still meaningful, enjoyable state. It’s a way of exercising agency rather than feeling like the after-glow just drops you off emotionally. Just my two cents.
Here we go again, each of us blindly grasping at one part of the cuddling animal and trying to reach consensus as to what the entire thing is and isn’t.
Mr. Vine’s generalization (that cuddling and therapy are separate animals) is likely true in the vast majority of cases.
But sometimes when the topic of cuddle therapy is raised, it feels like people are trying to talk about a zebra. And they are dismissed out of hand by someone responding that unicorns aren’t real. So, you must be talking about the common horse.
I’m grateful that I never accepted Mr Vines’ repeated pronouncement that what I was seeking (and later, what I was finding) wasn’t real.
But respectfully, I suggest OP is attempting to have a conversation that is far too nuanced for this forum
My thing is that it's therapeutic vs therapy. People conflate the two . Eating good food can be therapeutic . Traveling can be therapeutic . Exercise can be therapeutic . That doesn't make it therapy . The personal trainer at Golds Gym, the line cook at Denny's , the tour guide on your Latin America trip. They aren't therapists . Doesn't mean I don't love cuddling or downplay it's benefits . But I refuse to turn it into snake oil, or pretend it's something bigger than it is to me. Just because Im on this site and enjoy cuddling doesn't mean that it's this sacred religious experience that some folks make it out to be. It's just not that deep. And placing so much importance on it is a big part of what makes folks say that they can't cope when they aren't doing it.
Great question. Thanks for sharing, your responses are interesting and I can relate to some and am respectful of some.
@pmvines Yes, there’s a conflation of terms. But art therapy is a thing. “Dance Movement Therapy” is a thing. Play Therapy is a thing. And some of us with diagnosable mental health conditions are incorporating platonic touch into therapeutic programs that are transforming our experiences of our own lives.
We might be doing something you can’t understand or imagine. But it doesn’t make it fake. And you’re out of your lane when you dismiss other people’s experiences when you know nothing about them.
I can hear you insisting to someone participating in an equestrian therapy program that there’s nothing inherently therapeutic about horseback riding. (No 💩, Sherlock.) That doesn’t mean everyone offering equestrian therapy is a charlatan.
Sheesh.
I came back to add that maybe the better example is psychedelic-assisted therapy. Because it’s still illegal in 47 states, the vast majority of people offering it are doing so without the licensure and training that I know you put a lot of stock in. And I admit, healthy skepticism is in order around someone offering to treat PTSD with ketamine or hallucinogenics.
But there are some people in Oregon who seem convinced by the benefits. And I don’t think it’s fair to dismiss all the folks who have pursued that course of treatment (or who offer it) as irresponsible.
As a pro, I feel drained after a cuddling session(not always). My body feels people before they speak. When I’m close to someone, I can feel their energy, emotional and nervous system. Their stress, anxiety, desire, their loneliness, their tension, all of it. My system tries to balance them, soothe them, calm whatever is restless inside them. Some energies are light but most have been heavy, and my body instinctively absorbs and filters it. That’s why I walk away drained. I guess I am just built to feel deeply and regulate what others can’t hold. I'm still learning how to protect my energy while learning how to heal others just like my grandma and ancestors did before me. Sad part is they have no idea because they aren't a tuned to it. I care for people but most of the time they drain or simply irritate me and I need time to recharge away from them.
A good session is like drinking my Mexican Hot Chocolate on a cold, rainy day. It gives me comfort but I do not think about it afterwards until I crave it again. For context: Mexican hot chocolate brings me back to my childhood and I drink it whenever I want to reconnect with that warm, nostalgic feeling. Carpe diem - my mood afterwards 🥰
A horrible session will leave me with not wanting to be touched for days with new people and wanting comfort from the people I do feel safe with.
@BellaXochilt Looks like you're an empath.
I think you show something that translates to good advice. By connecting to fond memories we grew up with. People tend to observe their inner child on the subject of wounds. But it is also a part of us that can refresh and heal.
@Huggycatbear I am a Clairsentient Empath with a Protective (Cold-Switch) Archetype to be precise or so I've been told. I can go from extremely warm and loving to cold in a heartbeat. 😊
Yes it can. Our inner child is still with us and now, we are the protector they always needed.