Why did they give the farmer an award? He was out standing in his field. Lols
Definition: The difficulty of giving up your love of "Lord Of The Rings".
Solution: A hard hobbit to break
What happened when the blue ship and the red ship collided?
The survivors were marooned.
What’s a knight’s favorite fish?
A swordfish!!
What did Daddy Hare say when Baby Hare wanted to fight? Leveret (Leave it).
They say never meet your heroes, I bumped into UK Grime artist Stormzy the other day, I said "I bet you can't guess my favourite song of yours?" He said "Shut Up!"
You show me the Montreal Canadiens winning the Stanley Cup, and I'll show you that it separates the Habs from the "Hab Nots".
I’d tell a good chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.
Definition: The saddest room in the White House.
Solution: The blue room.
Two Peanuts were walking down the street, and one was assaulted...Peanut.
Definition: A rule you must follow when singing the "Addams Family" theme song.
Solution: Make it snappy.
My 3 year old son was involved in a horrible peek-a-boo accident. I had to take him to the I C U
And here is another thread that people can’t seem to follow the rules on. It clearly says Drop your Dad jokes. I have yet to find a single joke in this thread that has anything to do with dropping your dad.
@TheFunCartel https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/comment/303867/#Comment_303867
GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!!!!!
There has been talk about another Mummy movie.
The bad news? The details of that movie are currently under wraps.
I just tried to phone Taylor Swift but she was engaged.
I tried using a broken pencil but it was pointless! ✏️
I used to be addicted to soap but now im clean.
The inventor of the umbrella was originally going to call it the brella, but then…he hesitated.
Definition: The bride-to-be's request for the Addams Family.
Solution: "Get me to the Lurch on time!"
They don't show The Flintstones in Dubai, but Abu Dhabi Do!
This is my favorite that my dad has told me
What did the janitor say when he came out of the closet? SUPPLIES!!!
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One heavy the others a little lighter
You show me a bowling team on dope, and I'll show you a bunch of high rollers.
Definition: The difficulty of interviewing giants.
Solution: They can't be "reached" for comment.
I adopted a dog from a locksmith and as soon as we got home, he made a bolt for the door.
Not a typical dad joke. I do allot of wood turning, I decided to do a dog themed pen for the groomer I take my pups to and while trying to decide what kind of wood to use for the body, I decided it would be funny to use tree bark. Waiting for the kit to come in, and bark is being cast in resin. MIght have to post pic when complete
Did you know that Aaron Burr had a famous brother named Timothy? He was a lumberjack and every time a tree was cut, someone would always shout out his name. What? You never heard of "TIM BURR"?????
Sometimes when I open my mouth my Dad comes out.
You show me a group of mobsters infatuated with the 25th letter of the alphabet, and I'll show you a bunch of "Y"'s guys.