Hello All.
In case some of you who read my prior posts wondered, I have not been on here in some time due to a series of events on this site, but for one very appreciable person reaching out to me this last month who saw my prior post, thank you!
I have a lot of questions.
1. Clients, how many of you have varying disabilities, and what challenges on here do you feel you face. If communication is it, some lessons have been learned, and I will get to those throughout the post.
2. Professionals, those who are professionals, answer this. Have you ever had a situation where you met up with someone with a disability, who has been on this site, who has had enough bad experiences, what do you say to them?
3. All together, what is the real root of the problem?
Well, the real root lies with a couple of things.
Firstly, yes, this site has professionals who are paid, as this is their source of income. But, ratings, the ratings systems inflates some egos a bit too much. Lets explain.
If you brag on yourself due to your carma and you suggestively indicate to me that I should know you are safe based on your carma, I am likely to say that is a tentative Bonk.
Here's the reason. The people who write reviews write them based on their own personal experiences, but there are some who review stack, where someone will get all these rants and raves, but you never hear of any constructive feedback.
One issue that is overlooked is that bullying takes on shapes and sizes not known to many because they are not aware of what to look for.
First, being overcritical of someone's nuances without fully understanding them can lead to very difficult times, and if you are new to them it will quickly lose you a potential client.
Secondly, if you are only on the site to make money, but do not care about the welfare of the person you are going to be cuddling with, its likely that that can set off significant red flags.
In my area where I live, which for anyone geographically interested I live 10 minutes east of the Nebraska border, but south of me 25 miles is Nebraska's largest metropolis. That's just south and a tad west. If I go east it spills into a town that connects directly to Omaha going west, and it is also considdered a largely populated area.
Now where I live itself is not. It's a small town, with a lot of gossipers and dramastarters, so its always a good idea to say, not get too close.
Lets talk about why this is important to me.
I am, as some of you all who have taken the time to read my profile know, I am totally blind. I have been blind since birth.
But blindness, is not the only disability that I have, and it sure isn't the worst of them that I have. I have a blend of one extroardinarily rare as in 1 in 100000 people cases rare condition, o by the way, said condition there are no adults documented with as most of the adults who have the simptoms for said condition are judged significantly more than they should be, believe me that is a bad bad deal.
Why is this important to the post? You're about to find out.
Fair note, this is a very canded and very honest review of my experiences so far on here, please know if anyone wants to kinda help me out I'm glad to well, in my case, listen since a computerized voice will be reading your private messages to me.
Professionals, you are admired for doing what you do, and believe me for some of you it's all you got, in a tumultuous time where the cost of just about everything is so high its unknown how anyone could afford just about anything.
However, I have to ask the glowing question. At what point do we stop criticizing each other, using the money as a shield against those different than us, and learn to show the clients that safety is something we all deserve?
Not everything is going to be in a comfort zone for any person client or otherwise, but judging and bullying are wrong no matter what.
Whether it's here locally, or east of me a ways, there have been within a 3 hours drive of me nothing but internal chaos.
We've had either, people who ask about my conditions, only to first be understanding till 2 hours later after i book, to a person telling me to get a therapist. There is no compassion seemingly.
Some of you could say, but, understand we are just here for cuddles, not for your life story. Problem there, is their life story is about their safety and or their medical. Professionals are bound to accomidate reasonably under the ADA, Americans with disabilities act, and in other countries, there may be disability laws for other reasons which must not be avoided.
I had refered someone to this site, as a professional, who wanted to do this, but they were turned away by the sheer lack of compassion and some of the trolling from some parties on this site.
So my theme for today's message is, clients should be entitled to safety the same as the professionals, and it should not be so transactional that if you are not paying, you are shunned, criticized, bullied, trolled, degraded, emotionally abused, manipulated, destroied and hurt all at once by who is supposed to be a professional.
If any of you want to reach out, please know I am open to commentary, but please do not come out on the attack. If you see something i haven't seen yet, do share. If you have not seen it, let me know. Each person has their own experiences, and so no answer is the wrong answer. Just really trying to understand where the problem is here.
The other suggestion I would make is if a person has not been online showing them in the list is probably not a good idea, especially if their last active is like 3 years ago, because those using screen readers sometimes miss that information and well, message people who they realize they will never in their lives hear from.
Just a thought.
maybe one day I will be accepted as a person, my differences will be not something people weaponize, mistreat, judge, criticize, bully, troll, or degrade.
I walk through rooms with the volume turned low Smiling just enough so nobody knows Every compliment feels like a polite little lie They love the version that waves goodbye I’m tired of echoes, tired of the mask Tired of pretending it’s not such a task.
Words to a song I wrote, called, for who I am.