Body Odor

CaramelNotesCaramelNotes
in General

How do you handle a cuddler with BO? I had 2 separate occasions where the cuddler had an extreme body odor (both instances were their feet/shoes). In both instances when they took their shoes off, the funk was overwhelming - their feet and shoes smelled awful! I didn't feel comfortable asking them to leave - you never know when a man might get violent.

Ladies - how have you handled this?

Men - what's a good way to approach this safely?

Comments

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    Most people want their cuddle partners to be comfortable and will want to be told if there is a problem. Telling someone in private, worded as feedback or a personal boundary/need, can make such sensitive topics a bit easier to handle.

    Something I've definitely said before on more than one occasion: "I'm rather sensitive to certain scents. Would you mind washing up a bit before we cuddle?" If they seemed receptive, then I specified what was bothering me - armpits, feet, too much cologne, etc. Phrased that way, I've never had it become a big issue. One time I had a cuddle partner show up whose feet were fine, but their shoes were gawd awful, so we just put them in the bathroom and closed the door.

    I personally have had to do a quick wash up when meeting with someone multiple times. I can get hyperhidrosis due to health issues, so while I may not smell I can get clammy and sweaty at the drop of a pin. Some people don't mind as I usually cool down once my heart rate slows while laying down - but some people are understandably more sensitive to that sensation. I don't take offense, as I have my own sensory issues, so I'll just use a cold cloth to wipe down, drink water, and rest a bit before we try again. I also usually have a change of clothes just in case 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • MTexMTex
    edited March 22

    I had one person show up with really bad body odor. I sat & talked to them for awhile. Then I just made an excuse for why I couldn't cuddle & asked them to leave.

    I started carrying breath mints too because bad breath has also been an issue. Or if I'm hosting I put mouthwash & cups on the counter for them.

    I ask partners to bathe before we meet but that's not fool-proof. It's tricky because people have different standards of cleanliness.

  • sin67sin67

    lol yes body odor is challenging specially when definition of cleanliness means different standards of cleanliness to everyone. Sometimes the cuddlers show up and it looks like they haven’t showered for weeks. The sad part is that it stinks n becomes difficult to cuddle. Have cancelled sometimes. Sometimes it’s difficult to wash off the door for days even after trying your best to get rid of it. Guess we have to cuddle with it or request them to shower as soon as they get to the cuddle site n to bring a change of clothes. Body odour is sad but it’s true.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery
    edited March 22

    People have different tolerances for odors, and our brains are incredibly good at filtering out scents ("nose blind") to keep us from getting overwhelmed.

    I was watching a video about our sense of smell and how amazing it is... And how great our brains and nervous system are at filtering, else we'd be constantly bombarded by unpleasant scents. Case in point - we generally cannot smell the inside of our own nasal passages shortly past birth, and yet they do definitely have a scent.

    Edit to add: reason I'm sharing this is to point out that issues over body odor are not always due to poor hygiene or lack of care.

  • SweetCuddler33SweetCuddler33
    edited March 22

    I would just tell them . I would be kind and let them know . Body odor could sometimes be caused by medical conditions. The person with the body odor/stinky feet may not even be aware of it., I think it’s better if they know , so, they could do something about it. Maybe special medicated soaps and deodorants.. I would tell them in a kind and gentle way…

    @cuddlefaery 👍

  • HUGGGGGGHUGGGGGG

    Depends on the odor … if it is foul then many years ago I remember I bluntly but politely pointed out the odor is bothering me … now I guess I partially determine the mental and personal hygiene without directly asking in the initial interactions protracted over few weeks before the actual cuddle to just choose to let go of the person … I avoid a person using too much fragrance also … however, if I know the person is clean and just started to smell during the cuddle I would just ignore it if the cuddle is otherwise positive… another is when people use certain oils, they do bother me but if my cuddler is positive and clean otherwise I will ignore it … and every cuddle has a different natural fragrance to it - mostly positive that also brings positivity to the cuddle experience …

  • CuddlingforlifeCuddlingforlife

    I met with a few at the hotel resturant and they walk in smelling like an ash tray from chain smoking or the other walk in fresh from the gym . Both of them suggested to shower in my room , and put the same clothes Back on.

    I was like. No.

    I took the time to be ready. I bathed. I showed up ready.

    The last thing I need is a man using my shower. Putting on stinky clothes only to be, '" I'll take them off so your comfortable" lol no.. keep your damn clothes on.. and go!

    Respect yourself. I couldn't be close to funk. That's why my profile now mentions hygeine 😁

  • disneysamuraidisneysamurai

    100% on cigarette smoke smell being one of the worst things ever.

  • HUGGGGGGHUGGGGGG

    Ditto … I don’t even count/consider smokers …

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    The conventional wisdom on dealing with any embarrassing social situation is to apply the difficulty to yourself first, and then expand it to the actual guilty party.

    In this case you could say something like, "Oh, you're just like me! My feet are a nightmare after a long day in the city. Hang on, I'll get you a clean towel, you can wash them in the shower. I do that all the time, I feel much better for it." March off and get the towel then, "The bathroom's this way." Don't ask or offer: talk as if offer and acceptance has already been made.

    Similarly with bad breath, spinach on teeth, smudged makeup, wardrobe malfunctions, etc. "Would you be kind enough to check my XYZ, I'm paranoid about it. Here, let me check you while we're at it."

  • MTexMTex

    @CuddleDuncan Thank you for those tips! That is a very nice way of taking care of any situation. I really appreciate that perspective. It helps minimize any embarrassment. I will be implementing that for next time.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    I was told once that as a brown guy, a cuddler expected me to be kinda smelly but was surprised that I had no odor 🤷

  • pmvinespmvines

    That's when I out stink them with my special batch of goat urine spray

  • situation5situation5

    I think it's really a matter of common courtesy. I think both people should at least have a shower and clean clothes, as well as brush their teeth and wear deodorant when engaging in cuddling, a date, or any closeness during affection. It isn't expecting someone to be perfect and spotless, but just universal basic cleanliness.

  • CSnMUS87CSnMUS87

    I would say just be polite and honest about it. I try to make sure I don't smell bad before a cuddle session and always have a change of cuddle clothes to wear. I will admit that I don't always shower right before a cuddle session such as when I schedule something with a pro right when I get off work. My work isn't physically demanding so I don't sweat much (if at all) during work. I also of course shower that morning, put on deodorant, brush my teeth in the morning and once again right before leaving work to go to a cuddle session. I have seen a few profiles state that some deodorants may be too strong for them (though I haven't yet cuddled with anyone that says that) and I'm not sure what I would do at that point, because I feel like I still need it or else at some point there will be stink. There was one pro who offered to let me take a quick shower and brush my teeth in their bathroom before we started (and it did not count towards the time in the cuddle session) which I feel was quite nice. Another one had an assortment of toothpaste, toothbrushes, mouthwashes, floss, toothpicks, mints, and soaps laid out in their bathroom on a tray or counter for guests to use.

  • touchofkayatouchofkaya

    I do a vetting process, briefly over chat and then again... I'd do this as a Cuddler or the Cuddlee. That part is an organic brief call to check for compatibility and get basic introductions out the way, as to precursor the upcoming cuddle session scheduled only after the call has ended... in this call, I discuss hygiene which includes health... no signs of illness x amount of time prior to cuddles, must be showered, clean space, clean clothes, no odors...

    because dirty... ... ... ... absolutely not.

    Cuddles n real talk,
    Kaya

  • AntiqueWpatinaAntiqueWpatina

    I'm in a bit of a different situation than most, but I have 3 cuddles. In my case I get a shower right before I drive to the location or they an hour before they arrive here. I'm fond of baby powder so I put a small dose in my socks when I get dressed. That's my own habit. Also use a body spray that I've been complimented on 2x. Soooo I think I'm safe.
    I do smoke (sorry to offend), but a few minutes before arrival I rinse well w/mouthwash. If it bothers them...my door has hinges. Easy come, easy go....

  • Ironman294Ironman294

    I always shower, brush and use mouthwash 30 minutes or less before the session. I often don’t earth til after the cuddle. And if the cuddle is that evening I make sure I don’t eat any garlic or onions that day. Cuddling on a full stomach is not comfort either. I always change into fresh clothes that still have fabric sheet smell on them. Plus there’s a scented candle burning

Sign In or Register to comment.