You show me a habitual liar who claims he grows great coffee, and I'll show you someone who's "full of beans".
Definition: Shakespeare after leaving a massage parlor.
Solution: "Ay, there's the rub!"
A pair of toucans are playing a game in the tree. Unfortunately, only ‘two can’ play
Also from Jungle Cruise
“On the other side is my favorite jungle resident, Old Smiley, one of the laziest crocodiles in these parts. I do suggest that you keepyour hands inside the boat because Smiley is always looking for a hand out.”
Definition: Why it's better to be cremated than to be buried.
Solution: Because respect is "urn"ed.
Did you hear about the corduroy pillow company?
They’re making headlines all over town.
I’m allergic to shellfish, but that’s because I’m a Pisces, can’t eat my own kind
I dropped my dad joke . But then I just had to pick it up again so it wasn't worth it.
You show me a successful dumpster dive and I'll show you a "pick of the litter".
You show me Maxwell Smart mourning the loss of Agent 99, and I'll show you a secret agent who "missed her by thatmuch".
Definition: It's how DJs begin their careers.
Solution: Starting from scratch.
Definition: Ricardo Montalban's struggle after Star Trek II.
Solution: No one wanted to hire an ex-Khan.
Humans eat more bananas than monkeys. Which makes sense, I don't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
i seen people eat a monkey on tv, and they tried to get a giraffe drunk too, didn't see them eat a banana. Cultural differences i guess
sorry forgot it's a joke channel, dad jokes were never uh, well sometimes it's hard to know it's a joke so i guess it's ok
I was recently asked to name 2 structures that hold water.
I thought to myself "Well Dam"
You show me Frank Costanza challenging you to a fight outside a pizza parlor, and I'll show you someone asking you, "You wanna pizza me?"
I've been told that a game of darts can have a way of turning you around. You could say that it can make you a...
"OOOOOOOOOONNNNNE HUUUUUNDRED AND EIIIIIIIIIIGHTYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!"
How does Darth Vader like his chocolate?
On the dark side!
Why do crabs never volunteer? because they are shell-fish
The inventor of the umbrella was originally going to call it “Brella”, but then…he hesitated
Who delivers Easter gifts and treats to all the creatures in the sea????
The Oyster Bunny
I know a rumor about butter
But I don't want to spread it.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip. To get to the same side
One of the most wonderful thing in life to cuddle with a person you like and enjoy his/her companion unless you are in prison because you don't read rules and don't respect boundaries.
What can you learn from a beaver?
Almost any dam thing.
Definition: An award for Gaston?
Solution: The No-Belle Prize.
Definition: The task of finding a pair of size 20 sneakers fit for a basketball player.
Solution: No small "feet".