I'm new here, but came across this post and thought I'd chime in. It definitely isn't love if you fall for someone that you've cuddled with once or twice. It probably isn't very common, but I don't think it's wrong if you met someone that you had amazing chemistry with and got to know each other over months and months, and both felt the same way. People fall in love and meet their special someone in many different circumstances. However, as others have said, this is a professional service and it takes a lot more than cuddling to truly know if you love someone as well as a lot of time. Just being fair to both perspectives here
my big stupid compassionate heart falls in love all the time. lol There are definitely different kinds of love, but i think OP is talking about the romantic kind specifically.
I would say anything is possible, but if we are approaching cuddles as a platonic way of sharing kindness and mindfulness that kind of love would be a pretty big leap and take a lot more time than an occasional cuddle sesh would have.
I think people can, and I believe it contributes to non repeat cuddles sometimes.
As I commented in another thread, people make choices and one of them is self control. It takes time & maturity and dealing with the consequences of choices. Do we allow ourselves to fall in love with co-workers or our boss? Is that safe for our hearts? Or with anyone who isn’t available? Over time we learn to be a little guarded when necessary just to protect from hurt. Or WTH just throw caution to the wind and go for it and deal with the emotions later.
It can, yes. Or at least some form of attachment. That’s why I recommend seeing multiple pros so you don’t have attachment and expect things to go beyond sessions.
In the beginning it can especially happen. A lot people stumble into this site not sure what to expect. Words on a the Cuddle Comfort page nor this forum define the experience.
But the nature of service by the pros is they need to have strong boundaries and be able to detach. This can help people learn those sklls as well.
We all have diff goals so ask yourself: what do I desire for a healthy outcome?
This is my healthy outcome: -No longer touch-starved -Being able to let go -Comfort in being vulnerable -Boundaries -Discernment and protection from pros who are malicious.
Interesting topic..
If a doctor saved you from illness, or a professional provided you with comforting service, does not mean they have feelings for you.
If you have booked a session based on good Reviews/Karma, that means they have provided excellent service to their clients. You are 'Not Special'
unless..
You both had conversations about exclusivity and willing to pursue your connection beyond ..doesn't matter whether it is Pro or an enthusiast. Love can happen anywhere anytime.
but..
don't be delusional and involve your heart too soon.
and @BellaAine was on spot in her comments - Don't confuse lust with love. and interesting practical thoughts from @cuddlefaery @Huggycatbear
I've cuddled with several people from here. Some were great, some were so-so.
And a couple of them have become people I genuinely care about and who I hope will be friends who stay in my life long after this site is in the rearview.
Here's the thing about cuddling: your body releases chemicals. One commenter called it "cuddle drunk" and I think that's exactly right. Sometimes, feelings of bonding or physical attraction can happen. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything is wrong with you if it does.
But before you decide you've fallen in love, check in with yourself. Is this a genuine feeling, or is it the oxytocin talking? And even if it is real, is it returned? That really matters because so many people come here for a platonic physical connection and do not want any kind of romance in return. It’s the agreement we make when we join here.
Do mutual feelings happen? Sure. The story of the couple that met here has already been commented on. But that's a major exception, not the rule.
The feelings themselves aren’t the problem. What matters is how you handle them. You can manage them, not by pushing them down, but by being thoughtful about it. If your feelings are superficial, or they aren’t returned, you can work through that. It takes effort, but it’s definitely possible.
Emotions aren't the enemy. But a lack of self-awareness or intentional action can absolutely be your undoing.
Fall in like and crush? done, done and donzo! Have lost count lol
This thread is further reinforcing for me how many different definitions of "love" we humans have. It's definitely a problematic gap in the English language in modern usage.
I don't think it's so much a semantics thing, but more so an unquantifiable spectrum of emotions thing.
Shit, I might be saying the same thing as you @cuddlefaery
I LOVE this discussion. BUT … I’m not in love or lust with the discussion.
I don't think it's possible or very wise
I just scrolled through these but if it hasn’t been mentioned, look up transference. It’s a real thing and even happens between patients and talk therapists. If you want to test it out, go no contact for 3 months and then reach out. If the interest decreases or you forget about your feelings for the cuddler, it was all chemicals. The brain is powerfully and wired for species survival, not romance no matter what anyone tells you, although we are socially programmed to believe that.
The transference and crushes are really good points. I'd also look into if anyone dealing with feelings is confusing a crush for love. I know, more definitions, but I'll elaborate.
Crushes are just idealized fantasies about people, and doesn't take into account all of the real human traits they might have that you don't know about yet. Probably results from being "cuddle drunk" as mentioned above.
So ask yourself: Would you still "love" them if they threw a tantrum and said something rude in a time of distress? If they really disliked some of the opinions you had? If they were burned out and just groaned when you asked for more time together? All of those happen even in healthy real relationships.
Or are you fantasizing about a version of them that is always "on", "engaged" and "happy" with you? Because that's just a fantasy version of them at that point. I'm not built better than anyone else. Feelings can and do set in, and as mentioned by other people, really reflect and process before mistaking your idealized feelings for the real deal.
I think as you set boundaries from beginning and you respect them, then you should be able to control those feelings. Cuddling is a work of two people together to keep it safe and healthy, so if both of you agree about that, then it will be the same all times. But, if the other person didn't respect those boundaries or tried to break them, it's your job to end session right away.
At the end, it's your decision to fall in love with that person or not and if you do, then you should know that that person will never trust you as you already deceived him/her by breaking that safe environment for a healthy cuddling.
@Adam_Prof dude did you just turn human? I've noticed you responding to multiple threads with what should be correct answers in theory but not in practice. I agree with most of your comment but something is off. AI or have you not have human interaction in years?
@BellaAine I’ve been wondering about all these brand new accounts and men hitting the forums within minutes of joining. Is that normal?
@Carrie_Anne
Exaclty , and they all seem way too familiar with things here . My guess is it's same person multiple accounts (To be clear I'm not saying that about the person In question so for the love of Steve nobody flag me for bullying lol). But yes, you and @BellaAine are probably onto something
@Carrie_Anne very odd. Some sound like previous banned/current members and others sound like AI...
@Adam_Prof if you don't have any ulterior motives, take it as a compliment. For the record I don't think you are using AI.
Editing my comment so it won't be misinterpret
@BellaAine @pmvines @Carrie_Anne Thank you all for your comments which I respect greatly. I don't think that we talked before or we knew each others, so I wouldn't judge any of you by only your comments or few thoughts because judging someone needs a deeper knowledge of that person.
As an answer for your question regarding what I said before, I would say that as I'm a very responsible person and strictly work with rules, I would keep all boundaries respected and set all times without any problems. And, you are correct as I'm not an emotional person so won't be affected by others feelings as other people and this is maybe because I work in health care field which taught me to think with my brain instead of my heart.
Anyways, I wish you all today, tomorrow and everyday wonderful, safe and healthy cuddling sessions.
@Adam_Prof not judging you at all. I think I got a good overall sense of you from your response, previous comments on threads and bio. I think you would make a wonderful CIA agent with the traits you possess.
Oh no that's a slippery slope
I think we finally have someone else who sounds more AI-like than even me 😂 all that's missing is the bullet points and long dashes lol
@cuddlefaery you don't sound like AI at all. @Adam_Prof is very smart and knew what I meant when I made my comment. That is why he responded with "you are correct as I'm not an emotional person so won't be affected by others feelings as other people..." He knew what I was getting at.
I'm actually getting tired of trying to meet anyone for cuddles. Everyone thinks I'm in it for hooking up. Since I changed my profile to no hookups I stopped getting responses.
I wasn't accusing the poster in question of using AI but now I think I have to recant that statement
I think so, connection is only natural. We’re human, after all, and wired for emotion. The key is distinguishing between professional cuddling, which is essentially a transaction for physical touch, and the genuine intimacy shared with a romantic partner. At the same time, when a deep connection exists, it’s possible for feelings to develop even in a professional setting. What happens next is ultimately up to the individuals involved; we are human, and our feelings don't always follow a script.
@justMe40 your pics are fine, it’s your bio. No this, No that… Men need peace and you push them away with starting out with what you’re Not looking for, Simply say what you are looking for and let peace be your magnetic force.
@durantpiano she listed her boundaries fullly and completely and to the point for a reason. They’ve been violated repeatedly by men who treated them as negotiable. That’s her experience as well as every other female I’ve spoken with. Both on this site and out in the world.
That’s the whole point you’re missing. She shouldn’t have to perform approachability to make men more comfortable approaching her. You asking her to soften her bio to protect the peace of men dismisses that.
“Men need peace”?? Well guess what. _Women do too. _Women deserve peace and autonomy over ourselves. And the right to not have to step lightly so as not to push away men whose intentions were never platonic to begin with. The worst part? They don’t even recognize their own intentions as harmful. That’s how deep the entitlement runs.
You have no idea what it’s like to be a woman on this site. Or clearly, in the world.