@pmvines I’m not meaning to be disrespectful. I’m not sure how anyone’s jumping to that conclusion but I’m certainly seeing why SO MANY feel so misunderstood.
@bluefish281 I hear a lot about it because I have a VERY wide net of friends. I honestly couldn’t tell you when last I watched cable TV so “good call” on ASSUMING I watch fox news or even use social media!! 🙄
@IronicMaiden- please look up the definition of the word “phobic” and explain how a single word I’ve said applies. I’m being very literal and serious in asking this because it makes no logical sense to me!
Read this https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transphobia
@great_pillow08
If you're going to ignore the lived experiences of trans people, you're going to get called transphobic.
And just in case you're unclear on that, let me also add that if you ignore the lived experiences of transgender people, you're going to be called transphobic.
Everything you have said has been wrong. You refuse to listen to transgender people and then complain about feeling misunderstood when you tell people sharing their experiences that they're wrong.
I don't know why you're trying to make a thread about transgender people all about you instead, but stop. Go start a thread of your own if you need your ego stroked that badly instead of hurting people here by spouting your misinformation. Yes, you have absolutely hurt people here with your willful ignorance.
@Comet85 You can give all the definitions you want, but transphobes excel at trying to redefine transphobia to suit their prejudices.
@IronicMaiden You’re literally taking what I ACTUALLY said and twisting it to fit your own narrative and projecting that onto me so you can judge me. When did I EVER say that I felt misunderstood? I think you’re too busy being triggered to reasonably comprehend a single word I’ve said! 🤷🏻♀️ I VERY PLAINLY “threw it out there” that I’m open to being informed and I was met with “You’re too ignorant”, so the solution to my so called “ignorance” is to judge me, label me, and ignore the opportunity? Where’s the logic or reasoning there?? If anything, I shouldn’t want to learn from you due to your own blatant hypocrisy! 😲
Ok, folks. You can continue to get hot under the collar, insult each other and this thread will be locked; or you can simmer down, be civil and continue the conversation. Which would you prefer?
Speaking to the initial intent of this thread, all my support goes out to you and I’m so happy for the good news @IronicMaiden.
As for the derailment of it by @great_pillow08, I find I have to say something.
Having friends of a marginalized group does not make you an expert on that group.
It just doesn’t.
When a group of people explains their experience, you should listen. You might find that (and I know this might shock some) there are even different experiences within a group. 😱
So what you think you “know” might be wrong.
And also due to societal and emotional pressures, your friends might also have expressed something to you that was safe. Because with the attitude you’re sharing here, I don’t think I would feel very safe with you to share what was actually going on.
And never forget that we all generally hear what we want to so it fits whatever narrative we already have. It takes intention to stop and listen without your engrained filtration system. Something you seem unable to do, at least from what you’ve shown here.
Detransition propaganda is no different than the straight camps that kids got sent to, and any number of other ways the dominant culture has sought to strip others of their identity.
I would prefer that great_pillow08 stay out of this thread since they can't contribute anything useful. They don't listen, so it's not possible to have a conversation with them. All they do is antagonize everyone who is contributing peacefully to this thread.
I do not want one person trying to spread misinformation to get this thread locked. That would be incredibly unfair to everyone else.
-phobia can also refer to a strong dislike of something. Saying that it can only be used to refer to a fear of something in this context as a gotcha is extremely cringe
@great_pillow08 until youre trans, you have no right to speak on why anyone would want to transition. And more people regret knee surgery than transitioning. What a bigot.
@IronicMaiden extremely excited for you! You deserve all the gender euphoria! 💖 Hoping the wait-list isn't too long and a swift recovery when things come around!
@IronicMaiden Having to be on a waitlist for something so crucial to your quality of life must be difficult but a lot to look forward to and I’m happy for you. Hopefully it will move quickly!
What's the proper term, happy day of visibility? Wishing you all the best. Happiness is something that is hard to come by for most people sadly. Try to do my best to treat all people with dignity and make their day a bit better if I can.
@IronicMaiden Happy for you that gender euphoria is coming closer ! Nice nickname BTW 👌
Hmm...whatever
@SuperNova98 absolutely...same as until you smoke, you don't have any right to talk about cancer ! Snarky remarks will earn you a timeout. Anyone else? - BlueIris
Ever hear that quip that every office has that one colleague that everyone wishes would quit?
The takeaway is that if you don’t know who that person is, it might be you.
The same is true for bigotry.
If you don’t see it, the call might be coming from inside the house.
From the original post,
“If you are an ally, or someone who wants to understand more—this is your invitation. Come in. Be in the room. Listen. Show up.”
Listen doesn’t mean…
Blurt out preconceived notions about how people in the community should feel. Then defend those notions without showing a willingness to grow.
@MonkeyNeedsAHug well said! 🙌
Well then. Timed out for saying I want someone not continue disrupting the thread rather than them getting the thread locked. The reason given was "You're never going to convince anyone of your point of view by aggressively insulting them." I don't buy it. There's no part of that which applies here. I hope no one else got timed out for speaking up in defense of trans people.
Overly aggressive moderation isn't going to keep me from pointing out transphobic comments. Sometimes it's just ignorance rather than malice, and the person is willing to listen and learn and no longer be ignorant. And sometimes it's people like name redacted; continue this for another timeout - BlueIris, who refuse to listen, who insist that they are right and other people's lived experiences are wrong, and who use typical transphobic tactics like trying to redefine transphobia. I see no difference between this sort of willful ignorance and malice. They're both very good at killing us.
Thank you to everyone who expressed support or wanted to. There's almost too many of you to name, which is a good thing. And only two people who came in here to fling shit, which is also good.
@Krisha And in addition to all that, thanks for the nickname compliment. I've been trying to think of a new one for a while. Then I thought of this one, which is still similar to the old name and also references my favorite band (IronMaiden was already taken), and I knew I'd found a little slice of perfection. I did also consider IronCrone, but it didn't feel quite right for here and I though most people wouldn't get the reference.
Westchester NY here, I'm very trans friendly please feel free to reach out if you need a cuddle.
Wow I'm sorry for being late here, but I just wanted to say I share my support for the trans community and that nickname is pretty awesome! Iron Maiden is one of my favorites as well.
@IronicMaiden I didn't understand either why you got a time out and the person who ruined your thread by making it about her views not. You'll have to explain IronCrone to me, English is not my native language 🤯
@Krisha IronCrone would be a reference to the oldest aspect of the Triple Goddess. Her aspects are Maiden, Mother, and Crone. And I'm also not a mother (lacking the prerequisite kids), so Maiden it is. I think it's a rare person who would get that, regardless of native language.
@Krisha I didn’t ruin this thread. “MonkeyNeedsAHug” did when they took what I said, twisted it, and expressed their misunderstanding instead of acting as a mature adult and having an open mind. It spiraled from there. I’ve received MULTIPLE messages from members thanking me for remaining civil in the face of such ACTUAL hatred and bigotry and for speaking out against such horrid behavior. So many people are afraid to speak up and speak out because of this. The hypocrisy is thick!! At NO point did I EVER say anything hateful, call names, make assumptions, or throw insults. I’ve lived on “this rock” FAR too long to act like that so publically.
Posts like how this one originally started should never be made. If someone needs to feel “seen” they should contact a pro directly. These message boards are for the ENTIRE cuddle “community”, not just members of a certain group. This isn’t the place to come seeking attention or validation. “I f-ing hate this day”? Then keep it to yourself! “Positive vibes only”, right?? 🤔
Sending harassing private messages telling people to “do everyone a favor and kill yourself” is a prosecutable crime in ALL 50 states, as are harassment, cyber bullying, and defamation of character. Feeling marginalized or unseen doesn’t give ANYONE the right to commit crimes. Being that we’re all (supposedly) of legal age to be considered adults, there’s NO excuse for acting in ignorance of the law. Given the intended nature of this site, no one should be bringing said energy, as it’s generally not “comforting” to anyone!
Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, but they’re also entitled to keep it to themselves. It goes BOTH ways. I don’t hate trans people. I willingly admit that I don’t understand how/why anyone would think that’s a solution to their discomfort or unhappiness in their own body, but that’s not bigotry or hateful or “phobic” in ANY sense. I NEVER said I hate trans people and I NEVER said their lived experiences are invalid.
Several people were issued “time outs” because communication here is INCREDIBLY one sided. Attempts were made to de-escalate the misconceptions and due to high emotions, moderators had to step in.
It just makes me sad that in a world where diversity is said to be a good thing and people say they want to be understood that misunderstandings can’t be discussed and resolved rationally.
Mods, I don't understand how this sort of behavior is being tolerated on a Trans Visibility thread when it got shut down on the Chuck Norris thread.
The wrong people are being punished here, imo, and it's incredibly disappointing yet sadly not surprising.
@great_pillow08 the trans community at this moment needs our full support against the hatred and harm done to them by people who feel threatened by the way they choose to live. They are grown consenting adults and what they do or not do to their bodies is none of our business. This is coming from someone who believes we should love our own skin but for very different reasons than yours. We are beings that are both female and male with a vessel (our body including hormones) that dictate our dominant gender but I am not getting into it in this thread. This specific thread was not meant for us to insert our views but to bring awareness, support and celebrate how far they have come. Start a different thread if you feel so strongly about it but don't rain on their parade. She is who she says she is and nothing you can say will change that.
@Krisha It's the 3 phases a woman goes through. Maiden is our young free spirit self, Mother is our nurturing side, and Crone is our wise older side. 3 in one. Iron Maiden is the name of a badass band and by changing the second word she is expressing her transition to the next phase of her womanhood. Plus Iron shows her strength. Several women can't have kids but they still have that nurturing side to them. @IronicMaiden please correct me if I'm wrong
Excuse my grammar don't feel like correcting myself today
@great_pillow08 You came in guns blazing on your first post saying that trans people "don't accept themselves" implying that there is something inherently wrong with being trans. If you don't see what the problem with that is idk what to tell you.
Yeah the threating DMs are completely unacceptable and I hope you're reporting those people and they get banned. But that doesn't make your takes on trans people any less ignorant
Go play the "everyone is entitled to their beliefs" game when talking about your favorite color or instrument. We don't say that about nazis and we're not gonna say that about transphobes. Transphobia is unacceptable and if a transphobe is gonna cry about getting some pushback on the internet about their beliefs while trans people are getting killed for existing I'm not gonna pretend to be upset about it. If you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen.