I see lot of profiles offering services other than cuddle, for example- going on dates, massages etc. Is it violating cc rules ? Do i need to report ?
Yes. Companionship services (date nights, outings, etc.) , secondary services (life coaching, house cleaning, cooking) and massages are not allowed. Please do report when you see those services on a profile.
https://help.cuddlecomfort.com/article/113-why-does-cuddle-comfort-not-allow-companionship-services https://help.cuddlecomfort.com/article/50-are-other-activities-allowed-during-a-session https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/16723/secondary-services-our-policy
I would say that it’s possible that some of their offers might not be allowed, others are fine but if anything about a profile looks possibly sketchy/crossing a line, report the profile and let the Mods sort it out. But maybe one of them will chime in here in case I’m wrong.
We are a cuddling site, and we want the focus to be on cuddling. Virtual sessions are permitted, but phone and text sessions are not.
Context is significant. Things which complement a cuddle and are a secondary part of it tend to allowed. But things which are completely stand alone are not. It's fine to offer these services on other sites.
We are having a bit of a tightening up on this point, which is why there are still a lot of profiles that mention companionship services. Please spread the word.
Even after reading your change in TOS, it is very muddy and nebulous. Even to say this is a cuddle site and you still alllow virtuals is wild to me. But to each their own.
You all have a tremendous amount of cleaning up to do. Yes, I know. You are volunteers. I'm not shading the work you all have done. The site has little to no security measures to begin with. For example: even dating apps have face scans to get verified.
I'm going to say the quiet part out loud. I do not feel comfortable reporting someone and possibly ending their career because they offer a platonic dinner date.
It is not my responsibility to comb through and report. When I did report a sex worker after she sent me her webpage of extras, it was only a temporary ban. And somehow she retaliated and got me a temp ban, which to this day, I don't know what she could have said.
@Huggycatbear I'm sorry to hear you had a bad experience when you made a Report. The site does believe in redemption and as has been discussed on other threads, it is possible for a banned member to appeal and return to the site after cleaning up their act. It would be very unusual for a Timeout to be given without supporting evidence: unsupported allegations normally result either in no action or a Warning.
As for companionship services, all we do is delete the offending lines from their profile and send a Warning to tell them we have done it, complete with links to the relevant site documents so they understand the background. In and of itself it's about the most minor offence that there is. Occasionally somebody reinstates text that has been deleted, which would normally result in a brief Timeout for disrespecting the Mods.
When evaluating a profile that has been Reported we always glance over it to see if anything else needs attention, and by far the most common outcome is 'no'.
We are very conscious of the fact that suspending or banning a professional is affecting their income, and it is not done lightly. It's unusual for an established professional to be banned and it takes a lot more than a couple of technical infringements. Most bans are new accounts and are no-brainers.
Everything is logged, so when considering a Report the Moderator can read previous Reports and their outcomes. We have a very low tolerance for repititions of the same offence. Conversely we have a very high tolerance for an honest mistake followed by recognition, understanding and rectification.
Virtuals came in because of lockdown. They remain under periodic review.
You are absolutely right that you have no duty to comb through. Arguably though, everybody has a duty to Report if they find something. It is of course up to you, and frequently it is a matter of judgement, but the people who police this site and indeed to some extent decide the rules are the members. If a photograph on a busy profile isn't Reported, it won't be removed. It it's Reported 17 times in day it will disappear immediately. If somebody sees something that breaks the terms of service and doesn't Report it, then in effect they are saying, "Actually in my view it's ok for this to be on Cuddle Comfort".
Thank you @BlueIris for clarifying
Is combining reiki and cuddling allowed? I would like to speak to a moderator about this, I’m not sure what is the best procedure to reach someone as I know you all are very busy.
My other question is on kayaking, I believe I saw someone say they got permission to do this or maybe it was hiking, so I’m curious if cuddling and kayaking session is no longer allowed or if that is still fine.
@Healingrose90 the two easiest ways to contact a Mod are either to Report your own account, in which case any one of us might see it and deal with it. Alternatively go to the first post in the Forum Rules & Your Moderators sticky at the topo of the General board, where the list of Mods is kept updated. Check that your choice has logged on in the last day or two, people do take breaks. Then just send a message as usual.
If a profile mentioning reiki was Reported I would delete the reference. However, as with anything appropriate, if some elements of reiki should happen to arise naturally in the course of a session that would be completely fine. Cuddling can cover a broad range of things, and what makes a cuddle successful and meaningful differs for everybody.
If somebody was offering a kayak cuddle ..... well actually I'd want a video because I can't imagine how you could cuddle on a kayak without falling into the lake.
Saying in your profile that you live next to a lake and kayak frequently in your own boat is fine, that's just part of revealing you are which is what the bio is for. But saying that you are looking for kayak buddies or clients for your kayaking business is not.
Yes it's a fine line, but we want to draw the line somewhere and (to mix my metaphors) the easiest place to draw the line is the top of the slippery slope.
I've found that a lot of men will assume every woman on here is a s3x worker. Even when nothing on your profile suggests anything non platonic. It's annoying.
Thank you @CuddleDuncan - I will clarify all this with a moderator personally.
I think @BlueIris said it succinctly and clearly. All of this is getting a little bit too hair splitty to follow. And it's important to try to keep it to the actual facts, not just what we think it should be when commenting on the TOS .
I’ve found the notion of “public cuddle” services to be pretty confusing myself. I’m not really interested in those services myself so I largely ignore it.
It doesn’t feel like “public cuddling” is intended to mean actual physical cuddling in a public space. It feels more like that’s a place holder for “public companionship”. And based on this thread it seems very tricky to determine what is or is not allowed within that broad category.
All that said, I really appreciate the effort the mods and members put in to trying to make this model safe and effective. It’s an imperfect system and I appreciate that everyone is doing their best. 💜
@Healingrose90 I am a Moderator. But if you'd like a second opinion yes please consult one of the others.
@TichantoP 'public cuddling' is not a placeholder for anything. It just means normal cuddling in a public place. I've done it myself a number of times.
@cuddleduncan yes I know you are moderator, and I am so thankful for your time and energy you put forth here for the community. What I meant is that I didn’t want to take over the conversation with my specific questions, and monopolize the thread, and that I would connect with a mod in a one on one setting. Thanks!
@TichantoP posted: "It doesn’t feel like “public cuddling” is intended to mean actual physical cuddling in a public space. It feels more like that’s a place holder for “public companionship”."
I strictly start off with public cuddles, and they are quite literally cuddling in public. There are many places and ways to cuddle in public, but my most frequent choice is to snuggle up on a blanket under a tree in a park. Whether it's legs draped over laps, spooning, or wrapped around each other like our lives depend on it, everything a platonic cuddle in a bed might entail happens on the blanket in public.
~ Sunset Snuggles
🫂 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Junkie 📷 Shutter Bug
Public cuddles I get- picnic blanket at a park, outdoor movie night, drum circle, etc
Virtual cuddles tho??
How does THAT work? 🤔
@CuddleQueenLV there is a sticky thread at the top of the Professional Cuddling board about virtual cuddles with a lot of information.
Most virtual sessions are actually virtual companionship. Few professionals have taken the time to learn the skills needed to offer a true virtual cuddle which is a very different thing and seeks to replicate the experience of a physical cuddle. Done well, it's surprisingly effective.
“Few professionals have taken the time to learn the skills needed to…”
@CuddleDuncan I'm always curious where you get your information from. Have you met all 10,000 plus professionals here and or interviewed them ? Do you watch the virtual sessions like um …a third party tracker ? When you say few , how few ? Do you keep track of how much time pros invest in virtuals and measure the skill of pros when they provide virtuals ? How do you do that exactly?
I’m probably sounding and coming across as facetious , and maybe that’s my point , but peeps do communicate a lot outside of forums and they ask and wonder where you get all your knowledge on just about everything involving cuddling ?
Congratulations on your moderator status btw and I’m being sincere about that. 👍 It’s a thankless gig for sure .
I just think with that status people are probably thinking you have more credibility when posting all these different facts like “few professionals have taken the time “ etc .
This is the absolute most confusing thread I’ve ever read.. I’m trying to keep up, because with my cuddles I have a lot of cuddlers who do like cuddles and a back rub? The main idea would still be the cuddle. Although I do give a killer backrub, so is it acceptable or not to have this on my profile? I don’t offer it as a stand alone service, as frankly then go to a rmt, that’s their job, but I will rub a cuddlers back or shoulders if it helps them relax, I just want to stay off the trouble list 😂😂
Sorry confused.
@wanacuddle85
My understanding is that if it's massage as opposed to cuddling , or like if you want to charge extra specifically for massage and cuddle? Because when I cuddle a friend , and I assume it's the same for others, there is usually massaging etc involved as just simply being a part of it. When you are a cuddle pro charging for a service it's gonna be a little different I'm sure in terms of what you advertise and accept payment for when representing the site.
That’s how I normally would charge for it. Like your paying your hour if you want a 1/2 back rub and 1/2 cuddle then that’s cool with Me. Either way I’m making the same. I don’t just do massage ( I have a horrible version of carpel tunnel my arms would just quit) lol
I have seen pros put things on their offerings like "Outing/Event + Cuddle" which could involve going to a concert and holding hands, going on a hike, or going out to dinner. It then suggests cuddling before/after this event will occur. Is offering a companionship date like that allowed? I see it a lot so until this thread I assumed that was ok. Also what about a short coffee meetup? I have seen some advertise that as a way to break the ice and get comfortable before deciding to go to someone's place to cuddle.
Meeting for coffee before the first cuddle is a standard screeing procedure. It's intrinsic to the cuddle.
Stand-alone companionship activities, such as dinner or a hike, are nothing to do with cuddling and unsurprisingly are not permitted. (It is permitted for professionals to offer companionship services on other platforms.)
Informal over-the-clothes massage is a common activity as part of a cuddle session. It's just a normal thing so there's no particular need to mention it in your profile. If you are mentioning it .... why?
Massage is a regulated profession in parts of the US and so any mention of massage immediately arouses attention. Saying that you are not a qualified massage therapist doesn't necessarily help. Moreover, "massage" is sometimes used as a euphemism for non-platonic activity. As a consequence the word "massage" in a profile, no matter how well-intentioned, always grabs Moderator attention in a bad way. And also grabs non-platonic predator attention in a bad way. I am not aware of any benefit from using the word "massage" in a profile.
The policy is contained in the documents @BlueIris referred to in the second post. The key points are
While we generally discourage secondary services, if you do choose to offer them, here are some recommendations:
Frame any secondary services around cuddling as the primary activity. Avoid presenting activities as standalone services separate from cuddling. Ensure your overall profile clearly conveys a focus on cuddling. Consider how your offerings might be perceived by someone unfamiliar with professional cuddling.
@OhioMike thank you I will reply later.
So if I cook during a long session, is that against the rules? Or helping them clean the space before getting into a cuddle?
And with screening, can we go on a walk together or is that too much like a "companionship" service? I don't drink coffee, I'd rather not sit in a coffee shop personally. Where is the line drawn?
Is the issue the time that is being paid for or the actual activity altogether?
Regulating the ways some people get comfortable to feel safe is interesting. If I watch a movie with someone without cuddling because they aren't comfortable with a complete stranger yet, is the issue that I'm being paid for that time?
@KuddlyKoala read the policy documents. Follow them.
I think it’s been clarified in a few different ways, if the activity is just a small part of a cuddle session, not the main focus and happens organically then it’s probably allowed. Ex: cooking dinner during a long session. If it’s a date situation like - and these are pretty easy to spot - like a date for a company party, date to a wedding or something that one might look for on Friend-finder or escort services, it’s not allowed. @CuddleDuncan explained this very clearly. It’s just logic and common sense but if in doubt, contact a Mod for clarification. (please correct me if I have some of this wrong but people - no need to be intentionally obtuse). 🤗
@CuddleDuncan Thank you for taking such incredible time for clarifying. As it stands cuddling services are very complicated and like @pmvines says, too hair splitty.
I will continue to support this community in the best way I know how.
I've had cuddle sessions in the theater where you can pull up the armrest that divides you and with the kind of lounge chairs they use these days, it has been amazing and fun.
After cuddling for a while, it gets boring to just go to a bed and snuggle. So, I've had someone cook me dinner (they really enjoy cooking) and we cuddle while watching a movie. This was before the TOS change.
People are going to continue companionshiplike services that enhance the cuddle and keep things interesting over once again just two people laying in bed. This part takes discernment and when it comes down to it, if either the client or pro feel uncomfortable or unsafe by the experience we need to walk away and report if we feel others may be harmed.
I appreciate the move of the community to try to simplify things and especially eliminating text services. I have personally not come across as many sex workers as ripoff artists. And I think this is a good move in a good direction.
In the case of people who were in sex work but want to move to a platonic service that keeps them safe and gives them boundaries, I hope this can be a wonderful community for them as well.
Thank you @CuddleDuncan and @BlueIris for your kindness and support.
Bottom line: if we all can hold up this community with care and in regards to safety for pros, clients, and enthusiasts alike, this community prospers.
Special thanks to @pmvines who didn't fart all over the situation. Haha gotta keep it light somehow! 😄😄😄
@Huggycatbear
My farts are very light and fluffy . They do not split hairs .
@LilyAnneNova I never assume women on here are sex workers. Please don't group me with the rest of the Neanderthals 🤣🤣🤗🤗