Lonely as hell

SleekpetiteSleekpetite
in General

Im Lonely and im sure you all are too. Im tired of being alone. Can we all stop pretending like we arent sad,depressed, and a lil suicidal and got something better? Because nobody would be here if we didnt relate somehow. If any of you are remotely still human and want something meaningful than someone to jack off to. Hit me up. I would appreciate someone I can actually talk to for more than a few minutes.

Comments

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear
    edited April 3

    Sleekpetite, I absolutely enjoy having meaningful conversation. Feel free to message me if you don't want to talk in the open here.

    I am an author outside of my day job. I really enjoy perspective as not only does it help my art, it improves my mental health.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @Sleekpetite
    There are many people here who feel as you do. If you are feeling suicidal, please see a counselor. Friends are important, but we can only do so much.

    I have spent years feeling as you describe. Daily. I no longer struggle with it in the same way. There is hope. Things can get better. I hope you can hang on and keep reaching out until they do.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Junkie 📷 Shutter Bug

  • SqueezeBuddySqueezeBuddy
    edited April 3

    Life can get so heavy when you're dealing with stress, depression, or the isolation of a relationship that’s gone cold or a broken one. Many of us are just looking for the intimacy, lack of touch and human connection we’ve been missing. I truly feel we’re in this together, to support one another's mental health, find genuine friendship, and bring a little more warmth and joy into this lifetime.

  • sassorisonsassorison

    Sorry to hear.

  • migus_maximusmigus_maximus

    Sorry you feel that way. I agree people tend to hate showing they're alone. Acknowleding isolation only begets more isolation. It often feels like a catch 22. I would offer to grab a bite or go for a walk but we live on different sides of the country. I hope you find someone on here. If not try joining meetup groups or using dating apps

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear

    Saying how you feel, especially on an open forum like this shows that you are taking care of yourself in this act. Like others have said, we all feel lonely. It is not a condition of weakness. It is strength for you to reach out to us.

    Just last month I had to call the Crisis hotline for the first time. I fought so hard to get out of that dark place. Made it so far.

    But, "here we are again " I told myself.

    Last two months feels like I'm drowning. My support lines are being there for me. I want to pay it forward and be there for anyone in this community.

    I do not know so many of you. But I love what this community brings, one special soul at a time.

  • SolitaireManSolitaireMan

    always been alone. Trying to get myself right, then maybe i can help others not be alone. I'll probably still be alone, but maybe others won't have to be, at least that's how i figure it

  • SolitaireManSolitaireMan

    i feel less alone when it feels like god's with me, or when someone's able to relate to me for a bit or is reaching out in some way. But i mean i doubt i'll ever be able to fully connect with anyone

  • SolitaireManSolitaireMan

    i don't know if that helps or not but that's about all i've got for you, other than conversation if you want it

  • Goonie4lifeGoonie4life

    I'm not hear because I'm lonely

  • zoeloveshugszoeloveshugs

    I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. You are brave and also taking the first step in taking care of yourself by putting it out here. I know this might sound trivial but finding an in person group outside of here with something that interests you helps- dancing, hiking, chess, cooking.. whatever interests you.. finding purpose will not “ cure” you but will make you feel less isolated.
    Sending you virtual hugs 🤗

  • disneysamuraidisneysamurai
    edited April 4

    It’s really hard because we live in a time where everyone is walled off and no one wants to talk to other people like they used to. Even when I go out to “third spaces”, everyone has that ‘don’t talk to me vibe’. Every now and then I’ll have a good conversation but it’s more rare than ever. Not having money to spend on social activities, which a lot of people especially young people are dealing with right now, is a huge factor.

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    Loneliness is not a phase
    Field of pain is where i graze
    Serenity is far away
    (Alice in Chains)

    I get it. Nothing in my life has made me inclined to trust people. Being different makes you an outsider. And this is definitely not helped if you live in a sparsely populated area. No advice, just that you're not alone in being alone.

    Recently I was at a science fiction convention. It was nice. Met up with some old friends and connected with a few new people. And then I had to come back home. The old friends are far away, and the new people, well, I'm not holding my breath on that.

    My final thought is to quote the beginning of the Iron Maiden song Revelations

    Oh god of earth and altar, bow down and hear our cry
    Our earthly rulers falter, our people drift and die
    The walls of gold entomb us, the swords of scorn divide
    Take not thy thunder from us, but take away our pride

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    I hear you. Loneliness like that can hit really hard. You’re not the only one feeling it, even if it seems that way. I personally am very painfully familiar with that feeling. Therapy and joining a social virtual woman's group, aligned with my lifestyle, has helped me a lot. Wishing you the best and sending hugs from Cali. 🫂🫂🫂

  • SleekpetiteSleekpetite

    Hi everybody! Thank you so much for being so kind and letting me know im not alone. I appreciate all of you who took time out to write and share about yourselves. You all have helped alot. Thank you! 🙏🏾🙏🏾

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear
    edited April 4

    There is one thing I am learning to do, and I would like to present it to this forum. This thread in particular is a good place.

    I find out, most people don't want to be told what to do.

    For example: If [X] is lonely.

    Telling [x] to do such and such, like it's a solution that can fix them up like that, or a solution that they don't already know, makes them feel belittled. Like the condition is their responsibility. Or something is wrong with them the whole time. The loneliness might not be a result of their action or inaction. It might be you know... for many of us, simply the state of the world today.

    I had a friend I met for lunch after I texted him that I had suicidal thoughts. He took the time to meet up with me right away.

    When I sat down I expected him to say, "Okay, what's wrong?" And then I regurgitate everything that's been stacking up against me while he sympathizes.

    Instead, he right away talked about the humming birds in his yard. And what he discovered about them. I didn't even know they take the web from spiders to make their own nest.

    Then he just went into stories that didn't even directly apply to the situation. Since it was Easter, he was talking about Jesus and the last Supper all the way up to him dying on the Crucifix. His didn't say anything to save me. The focus wasn't so much on Jesus. It was on the thief on the cross beside him.

    This is still in my head. And I've been starting to extract nuggets from his stories and our philosophical talks and putting together a plan for myself.

    This is what I'm going to attempt to do.

    I also fall into the whole, someone is suffering and now I must teach them how to live so they can beat that suffering.

    Truth is, I don't even know how to fix certain things in my life either.

    So I hope that this can be a way I learn and use in the future.

    As we writers say, "show not tell."

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @Huggycatbear
    I have a friend who reacts to depression by simply talking about what he wants to talk about, magically drawing me into fascinating and positive conversations without appearing to have a motive or angle.

    Initially it offended me deeply, as it felt like he was completely ignoring my distress. But it was so powerful, I came to admire it with awe.

    I cannot describe exactly how it works, it's just natural to him, and I've never met another human capable of taking me from suicidal to laughing in such an effortless, genuine, and swift manner.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Junkie 📷 Shutter Bug

  • SleekpetiteSleekpetite

    Excellent analogy!! I love that. Thank you so much @Huggycatbear for sharing. I'm going to try and apply that to myself to in just how I view things.

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear

    @SunsetSnuggles Omg I felt the same way.

    Like this guy is being long-winded. When is it my turn to talk about the actual subject matter we are meeting on.

    What he did showed me his skill and experience. He does go to the prison regularly to work with inmates there.

    And I also came to admire it with awe. Still do.

    I come to find sometimes my own plan to heal, is just dumping my feelings on someone else.

    This was much more powerful.

  • SleekpetiteSleekpetite

    @SunsetSnuggles I was offended by that too. But when you think of it like how @Huggycatbear explained it, what we need is to get our minds off ourselves. Sometimes we drown ourselves in our own sorrows we stop seeing the bigger picture or other pictures for that matter. So its good to have that distraction and get our focus off our selves. Its beautiful and more effective then its given credit for.

  • SleekpetiteSleekpetite

    @Huggycatbear youre right! Didn't look at it as dumping feelings. But youre right. Maybe we can be like that for ourselves. Negative thought= think of something positive -> trivial even..Just something lighter.

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    I believe that's called holding space for someone. It is after all true that we can't truly understand something we haven't experienced. And a lot of those supposedly helpful suggestions are things which have already been tried, or which are not available. The "just cheer up" response to depression comes to mind, a statement that shows a lack of understanding and a lack of willingness to understand. For me personally right now, if someone were to give me suggestions on what do to about feeling overwhelmed, they'll hear all about how overwhelmed I'm feeling trying to deal with being overwhelmed.

    The first part of caring is listening. Actually, that's not entirely true. Listening is the second part. The first part is showing up, being present, and acknowledging the other person. And sometimes the best way to listen is to talk, and to be ready to stop talking when the other person feels it's time for them to talk. Sometimes they have to stay quiet because the alternative is to get caught up in an avalanche. That can require levels of trust not found in most friendships.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @IronicMaiden
    The one I described was definitely not holding space. It's more like he takes up my distressed space with his interesting conversation, until I am engrossed in it and my depression takes a back seat. But it's amazing and unlike anything anyone else has done with me.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Junkie 📷 Shutter Bug

  • AMC143AMC143

    How sad. Hugs

  • [Deleted User]kydavid (deleted user)
    edited April 4

    I know the internet has damaged a lot of the social aspect of society, but this is one of those times I’m grateful for it. It’s weird in the aspect that a lot of us commenting, including myself, are very lonely, while also showing that we’re not alone in being alone…if that makes sense.

    Growing up I always kept my mental health secretive. If I were to express my feelings, I would have people telling me to just think different thoughts or just take a walk outside in the sunshine. This came from both friends and family. I missed my freshman year of HS because of my mental health and when asked by friends why I’m not attending, I would make up a lie. After graduation, Facebook and forums were starting to ramp up and I found that I’m actually not alone in this. There are tons of others who also struggle, and with that the stigma is gradually chipping away. It’s post like this that’s helping accomplish that.

    Thank you @Sleekpetite

  • SleekpetiteSleekpetite

    Awe youre so welcome @kydavid 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 thank you so much for opening up and sharing. It means alot! And it does help so much! It is easy to feel so alone. And youre right people did brush it off if you try to say the truth of how you feel. I used to say I was tired or bored when I was younger because saying sad or depressed always turned into unwanted rumors. But nowadays more and more people, even celebrities, are open about it. So it helps. This has got to be the first forum I've seen be so supportive and caring. Thank you so much everybody!! I feel alot better now. Thank you all for your concerns. I appreciate you all!!!

  • [Deleted User]may12 (deleted user)

    I am in the same boat as you. I like chatting with people and making friends. I previously created a post asking for chat buddies. I got a few people to chat but they subtly slipped in the expectation that they eventually want cuddles. This puts pressure on me and takes away from the joy of chatting.

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    This is why I try to be open about my struggles. Even just knowing you're not alone can make a big difference. And one person being outspoken can give others the courage to be outspoken as well.

  • trysdettrysdet

    I was going to open a new thread then had an epiphany to checked if anything similar was in the discussion. One of the topics was going to be "I hate my life" this thread is close enough . I wish you the best

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear

    @IronicMaiden 100%

    I never felt so much love as I do now from this community. I have to remind myself that the beats of life can take us over and under, and in strange new places.

    @kydavid My gosh, do I feel you in my bones. Wow... I used to lie all the time that I had to duck out and disappear because I was going through something. I always felt like something was so wrong with me. And every time I would go the distance feeling normal, it would happen again.

    I couldn't find my way to express it in truth.

    I guess there is a silver-lining to the changing times after all. We are slowly finding our way to let it out.

    @SunsetSnuggles Something my friend did was he just illustrated things out and allowed my own mind and heart to pick and choose what echoed inside of me.

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