A couple of comments.
Male pros might have more men than women as clients. That part of the market is seldom talked about here, but it exists.
Regarding the question of why an SW would use this site rather than a site that is dedicated to that, I think it's because there are SWs who are in the business or "in the life" only half-way, and maybe are unsure about it and want to be extra selective. The ambiguity inherent in keeping their cards close to the chest allows for that selectivity. In my personal experience, when they've indicated a sexual offering it's usually been low-key, more like trying to initiate sex than flat out saying "here's what I'm offering and what I charge." The financial side seems to be more like an expected tip. (I'm mostly asexual, but I'm very curious about this whole thing.) I think this is a dynamic that is going to exist in the cuddle space no matter what people try to do about it, because while the idea of platonic cuddling may make sense to everyone here, to a lot of people it could only be a fiction, because many if not most people get turned on when there is intimate touching and holding. That's why some people will talk about the site putting cuddling in scare quotes. I think it is something that comes from human nature. But I do agree with the OP that people who are on here to buy or sell sex are degrading the site as a whole and making it hard for people to use it for its intended purpose.
@Carrie_Anne I wanted to message you too but your account is muted. Those of us who understand the double standard you were trying to highlight also understand supply and demand, so most of us aren't commenting on this thread. But that doesn’t mean you weren’t clear or that your point wasn’t valid.
@SpicyNSweet exactly 😏
@Carrie_Anne Thank you for re-thinking your words and editing them into something more mature.
@IronicMaiden I've also gotten the impression, and seen guys directly say, that they hope Pro status will make them appear safe. Lots of good discourse has taken place on this in a couple threads. Pro status is embarrassingly easy to get, and should never be seen as a sign of safety or good intent, but so many new users don't know that.
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I know it’s hard when you come across these situations so it’s important set boundaries and expectations before booking so the client is aware there is no extras. I’ve refused to book clients who I could tell were pushing boundaries and trying to turn the session into something beyond cuddling.
@pmvines I understand and accept your viewpoint, its completely valid and understandable.. especially considering the current economy.
That said I have to admit when we start creeping up to nearly $200/h, I cant help but be skeptical. Not that im saying no one should pay that, but I do have to wonder WHO is paying that much? (Like honestly, even if the pro wasnt trying to indicate more, the clientele who pays $200 makes me wonder too)
Look, its a job, get yo money... I sure as heck am not faulting anyone for finding the sweet spot between volume and cost point.. but at a certain point the cost seems to signal to a different clientele.
Just remember, both sexes and all genders are needed for this site and community to be. My wish is for us not to generalize any side.
J had been wondering why background checks are not required to list here . . . While that's not a 100% solution, it could help.
Delete
@tacpmurg
Oh Im not naive to it's existence believe me . I just don't like the generalization some folks have about it, and I don't like it when site members currently and historically use that generalization to try to shame cuddle pros into lowering their rates. It comes dangerously close to the whole well she was wearing that skirt and has big boobs so of course she wanted it argument.
It is a little bothersome to be with a pro cuddler and have them rave on about "nudes, all the dinners men buy for them, etc."
Definitely can make one suspicious to if "more" was being suggested as i didnt ask about stuff like that, i just wanted someone to talk to but it really felt like they were trying to validate to me how "wanted" they were or give me a FOMO.
I just ignored it but nobody wants to pay for a cuddle session just to hear someone brag about their own sexual exploits.
You just never know now a days.
@tacpmurg I haven't read the whole thread but just picking up on your comment about rates .....
As a Mod I get so see who the people offering extras are because I ban them. And I can tell you that it has nothing to do with rate. If anything, the 'suspicious' rates are the ones right in the middle of the pack. It is simply not true that $200+ rates imply non-platonic, not least because rates for non-platonic services appear to be noticeably higher than that.
When we have proof of non-platonic activity and go back to the profile, you can find absolutely anything from total explicitness - listing rates for services - to, "I would never have thought it in a million years".
@CuddleDuncan @pmvines
Well as I said, its not my place and I have no problems with people charging more. I am simply stating my own personal perspective on the matter.
And being 100% honest if I was a pro and I could charge $200+ and still maintain a healthy clientele, I would. People here like to toss around stuff like help the touch starved or w/e.. but its a job. There is a price point that works for them, and thats really all the matters at the end of the day.
Also im well aware some people are not arguing in good faith in this thread and others, which is unfortunate. It would be nice if people were just honest about their motives on both sides.
I was doing a pro search (at random).... I saw one queen going for $400.00. That's one classy cuddler by anyone's standards. I could afford 15 minutes, maybe? That would allow time for a formal introduction....
Hard agree with all of this. I had a client with 40+ 5 star reviews. My guard was down because of this and he turned out to be someone who pushed boundaries every moment he could. I was new and felt embarrassed so I didn’t kick him out, just kept light-heartedly correcting despite feeling disgusting the whole time. Nothing “happened” but the fact that I didn’t stand up for myself made me so angry at myself. I hate that other women will feel safe due to his positive reviews. We all need to be better about reporting and not being afraid to tell these men to leave immediately.
@cuddlebudbklyn sorry to hear you went through that. Nobody should have to feel stuck in a situation like that and I hope you have made peace with your reaction to it. Hopefully the rest of your cuddling experience has been more positive than the first one.
@tacpmurg 👏🏾👏🏾
@Thenewestguy highest i've see was $500. lol.
a question just out of curiousity, and this is no way a judgment on you about anything, @LeilaBags, but you are charging $180/h with 2 hr minimum - a total of at least 360 USD per session, and your profile pic is a see-through lingerie with majority of your breast visible in it, and you are here complaining about guys asking if you provide extras.
of course, the purpose of this site is platonic cuddling. and of course, I support your right to wear anything and publish it if you choose to. but if that's not your cuddle outfit, what's the intent behind using that objectively sexualizing image as your profile pic?
please know I'm not trying to call anyone out personally. but rather pointing to the fact that perhaps even women pro who are strictly platonic try to possibly gain economic advantage by purposely giving a misleading impression.
Oh boy. The following responses should be fun to read.
@cuddlebudbklyn I'm sorry that happened. I hate that you had to go through that. I hope he had bad reviews and is banned at this point.
@HappyHikes Timeouts, banishments and thread closures are definitely on the way 👍🏾.
Oh boy. The following responses should be fun to read
He's not wrong, but will probably get dogpiled on anyways.
what's the intent behind using that objectively sexualizing image as your profile pic?
That’s why my plane is flaccid. Nothing to see here…
Hopping in before this thread is locked. I understand the price point thing from people but it is just not accurate. Some women charge $200-400/hr or more because they can and still will get clients. From their perspective, physical looks demands that. Some pros charge that because it is what they are willing to charge w/ all of the stuff they go through with clients (hazard pay). Some do it because of their cuddle experience. Trying to dictate women's rates on here is the wrong thing.
Also, photos are not suggestive of non-platonic services just because you find the person attractive. If men just go in expecting a cuddle and just chill, there won't be much of an issue. For the women who offer "extras", they will just flat-out tell you and it's on you to decide what you do next. And most of the time they are not charging much in their original rate so they can build from there. Now, men have to decide what they want to pay for. If you want to just cuddle, stick to your budget and cuddle. If you want more, go to the sites that offer that. You have to remember this is cuddling, you paying $400 minimum for that service is on you. You can find a non-platonic service that same rate elsewhere and you will get what you are looking for. Don't go into a cuddle w/ pre-conceived notions because of someone's rate.
Don't traumatize the women who treat this space as a genuine community. At the end of the day, if men are making women uncomfortable then its not a safe space. That is for here or anywhere else in life in general. If someone is interested in you, they will make it known.
And if you dont like someone's attire, price, or think you will be tempted, explore other options.
Nobody should be shamed for what they wear as much as men should not be shamed for being visual creatures.
Nobody should be shamed or judged for the price points they set.
Preferences should not be shamed even if it's based on race, gender, sex, ideology, height, weight, etc.
Please remember we are individuals. Generalizations take away from that.
@justpopcorn if you see a pro posting photos that are against TOS, report them. All tagging here will do is 1) alert them they're about to get hit so they can quickly change their profile, 2) toe the line of breaking the forum rules yourself.
While I am here since I rarely post, I don't see the consistency in telling men here they should not judge women or expect non-platonic services based on someone's photos and then people report women for "suggestive photos" since it is completely subjective and could be cultural bias. That just seems ridiculously unfair and trivial and sets a nasty precedent of judging someone based on how they express themselves. Food for thought. This isn't some puritanical-like society.
Obvi you shouldn't be nude or sexually imagery but women have different bodies and what is "suggestive" to one is not for another based on appearance. My two cents. I am not a proponent of telling women how they should and should not dress if their profile states non-platonic and gives you no reason to doubt that.
@cuddlefaery my intent wasn't to shame anyone personally. so I don't care that @LeilaBags took down her main profile photo where she's wearing only a fishnet see-through lingerie with breasts visible and her nipples hidden only by her hair, or the other two pics as well that showed heavy cleavage. she's free to do so. but from my limited imagination there were only 2 possibilities for choosing to upload that photo with see-through underwear.
1) that's her cuddle outfit - in which case I owe her an apology for my assumption, which is... 2) she knows exactly what she's doing and the impression she's trying to project by using that picture, in order to market and differentiate herself from the dozens of other Pros who charge 1-3x less than her required minimum of $360 per session.
I just wanted to point out the prevalent hypocrisy and irony in these forums where someone engaging in such practices also complains about guys seeking exactly what she's seeming to purportedly offer through use of provocative pics; although in reality she's obviously a platonic, rule-following upstanding professional cuddler of this community.
And so part of that point was, the site is also abused and manipulated for monetary gains by many such platonic cuddlers, and not just ones who offer "extras".
@mrsoftspoken You bring up a very interesting point. My understanding is if a man asks the price for a named “act”, he can be arrested for soliciting. Likewise, if a woman names a price for an “act” she could be arrested for soliciting. I was once approached by a lot lizard while getting gas at night at a sketchy gas station and she asked me “do you want to party” 🤮 I assumed she used that vague term just in case I was an undercover cop.
As you point out, a SW using this site could use it to gage interest and reduce the risk of getting caught in a sting operation compared to trying to “do business” with someone (potentially an undercover cop) showing her interest in another setting.
FWIW - One pro I met on here (who is absolutely positively 100% platonic) told me that she has received two phone calls, a couple months apart, from men saying they heard she offered extras and were inquiring about “getting together with her”. She told them both she knew they were lying because she has never offered extras to anyone then she hung up on them. 99.9% chance they were both LEOs trying to catch SWs.
@justpopcorn That is where I disagree. I didnt see her profile photos but if that is an image she thinks she looks appealing in, why does she have to take it down? If I see a woman wearing a short skirt out it is not a license for me to go approach her or treat her differently than a woman in a flannel. if she is not offering any "extra" services or her bio doesn't read like that, she should have no shame in stating men should behave accordingly. I just dont understand how people can arbitrarily tell people what they can post if they are clothed. I wish the woman you're referencing felt empowered to keep her photo up and conduct her profile the way she wants.