Ignorance is forgivable while willful ignorance is not - I second what @IronicMaiden said
It’s jarring to see professional cuddlers using bathroom selfies (toilets) in their profiles. That style of photography is a staple of non-platonic sites and feels entirely inconsistent with the professional, platonic image they are trying to project.
@SqueezeBuddy a lot of professional cuddlers join this site with the idea that they can treat the job like babysitting or pet sitting - they don't treat it as a legitimate business, do none of the research or prep work, and are just seeking an easy side gig. They treat it like cash under the table and not a business that needs to be registered, carry liability insurance, and other legal protections. They're completely ignorant of their local ordinances regarding starting a business as well as their tax requirements.
By that same token, some professional cuddlers treat the job as an actual business. They do the leg work and understand the professional responsibility they are undertaking. If the majority are akin to teenage babysitters, these are the trained and licensed nannies. The industry is not yet regulated by the government, so it's very much the wild west.
That being said, I also know that there's nothing wrong with bathroom selfies on a site that is effectively Facebook for cuddling. It's a social media norm. Not to mention if women stopped posting full body pictures, they'd get accused of cat fishing poor unsuspecting clients who only want to cuddle particular body types and sizes. They'd get shamed for "hiding" their body. Men would complain that professional headshots don't show enough "personality". Give me a break. Women literally cannot win in this society.
@SqueezeBuddy bathroom selfies by both men and women are dirt common on all types of platform because bathrooms have mirrors. In and of itself it's not Reportable. (The commonest type of bathroom selfie to be removed is the topless man.)
However, please do Report any photos which have non=platonic intent, whether bathroom or not.
This is why one of my favorite vetting questions is “What’s your understanding of the word platonic?” And then see if the response is accurate, polysyllabic and capitalized.
I have had some real genuine sessions with people and have also come across those who ask for more.
My last client showed me a website where men share information, photos, videos and full detailed experiences about women all over the country. They are city and state based and many different chat forums. I’ve never been so disgusted and freaked out at the same time. BE SAFE. I can’t unsee what I’ve seen just from the one site alone. I am now way more cautious going forward.
Also, to those complaining about prices being high, we should be higher! We are providing a service. Gas is high, groceries are high, rent is high… LIFE IS EXPENSIVE. If someone doesn’t like the price, find less or get a girlfriend and keep it movin 🤦🏽♀️ Some of us offer a real genuine experience that’s worth way more than what we charge.
End rant.
@BrokenWillow You set the price however you set, but right now my healthcare is up SIX TIMES. A lot of us are fighting for our basic needs, you included I'm sure.
As long as you're getting clients, great. And I usually don't talk prices. But just know so many of us are squeezed like a juice box from all sides. My budgeting can no longer afford 50% of the rates today and you want it to go higher????
Your rant diminishes men so much. Telling us to get a girlfriend and move on. Ironically, you offer a "genuine" experience at an hourly rate and then move on.
Never complained about pricing before. Until you demanded we pay more.
@Huggycatbear
Whoa. Slow down a bit. You might have taken that a little personal. Her comment was in line with other people complaining about pricing, some comparing high prices to assuming SW, and diminishing what she offers and the risk she puts herself in.
It wasn’t directed at you and it didn’t demand that you pay more. She asked that people not complain about it and if they can’t afford it to go elsewhere.
She is upset that she offers a service that regularly puts her at risk and gets put down for offering it at a certain price.
And upset sometimes causes things to be expressed in less effective ways.
@mauvefox I appreciate your response. But it's interesting how she gets to rant. And I am told to slow down when I advocate and express my feelings. Just looking for equal space here.
I was sexually assaulted on my first cuddle. I bear a similar risk for hosting at my address. The risk is a two-way street.
And maybe I don't fall into the statistical men hurt women more than vice versa. But that was not the case for me.
@Huggycatbear I’m so sorry for what happened to you and of course there is risk for you. And I don’t mean to diminish that.
I was just pointing out that she didn’t demand that anyone pay higher and she never said people’s finances or risk didn’t matter.
I didn’t mean you can’t advocate for your own safety. It just seemed you were reading some things into what she said that weren’t there. And as you said, statistically it is not a similar risk.
And it’s not that you can’t say your piece about prices. But there is a specific place for complaints about prices and it’s not here.
I’m an enthusiast on here too. I take all the risk and don’t get paid.
@BrokenWillow,@mauvefox 🙌 yes
@BrokenWillow yesss girl, I completely agree with your post. I really think our rates should reflect our time and effort, and there should definitely be a cancellation fee when someone doesn’t show or doesn’t communicate
@mauvefox Thank you for your concern and care. I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me on her behalf. I know half these conversations on the forum would go so much better if we were all in person.
I'm not a fan of statistics and generalizations. Interestingly enough, a lot of us in this cuddling community are in an outlier of a lot of statistics.
I saw her as complaining about prices, even if it's in response to those complaining (they should be higher). More so, a lot of people talking about prices in relation to being suspicious of someone being a sex worker. I don't agree with that. But that's the thread's topic.
I think her seeing this site where men share info on women is akin to someone watching the news and gathering info about racial groups of people. She's going to see the worst of the worst there, and I think it has already affected her judgement on clients. Definitely future clients.
Caution is a good step, but the rant made me think of the following:
I live in this ironic situation where I'm guilty until proven innocent for being a man in a community like this, yet I was also affected by predators who will continue to get away with it, because there's hardly any conversation about men getting sexually assaulted. I know I'm not the only man on this site who went through that. And it took me a long time to acclimate to these forums since there's a lot of generalization and vitriol towards men who supply most of the client base.
When someone says, "get a girlfriend" it's never a good look. It not only diminishes men, but it makes women out to be an object than can be acquired. We all know relationships are very complicated these days.
I feel for you having to vet so much because of the risk as an enthusiast. I would like to learn more. Is it strange to be afraid of connecting to other enthusiasts even as a man, because I fear that some people might have ulterior motives since there's no transaction involved?
@Huggycatbear I hear you, I understand what you are saying. . However, I have seen those sites and they are brutal.. just disgusting.. they specifically talk about Pro cuddlers they have seen from This site . A lot of what they say is most likely bs, it’s just very degrading .. sickening.. they are putting Pro cuddler’s lives in danger..
This thread is going in many different directions, but I believe we may all agree that suppliers of a service can charge whatever fee they wish to charge and that purchasers of those services can pay whatever fee they wish to pay and is hopefully within their means. The beauty of this economic system.
I would rather focus on how to keep everyone in this community safe. That should be everyone's priority.
@HappyHikes absolutely! 🙌
.
@SweetCuddler33 Yes! I agree. Those people made it worse for both men and women to be seen on this site as caring and wanting authentic connection. That's the part that I want to caution that there are still decent men out there who are seen as guilty just for being men. And who is most responsible? Other horrible men.
F*** them really for making all our lives miserable and increasingly complicated for connection.
@HappyHikes Back to the topic. Sex workers who are mostly women, come to this site to take advantage of people also ruin it for everybody. They don't belong here.
I think so many of us are talking in circles and spinning into different directions, because these are two behavior issues that continue to hurt the community and other than reporting after the fact, much of it goes unchecked.
And as it stands with the site, you can only blame so much on its functionality and lack of safety options. Other than vetting which so many of us do, what can we do?
Anybody have any ideas?
SWs in general provide a service that men want. That’s why the profession exists to begin with I think? The overall entitled attitude by humans really is disgusting to me sometimes. I’m just so tired of reading about that here. A belief that Pros need to lower their prices because men need/deserve hugs (and more!) and it’s owed to them at a price that is within their budget. Really?? Guys - If you want a woman who is a stranger to hug you to make you feel better, well be prepared to pay for her time and effort.
Or men could stop doing so, and this community completely crashes. This website and community count on client money to survive. Mostly men.
Never did I see the customer base so demonized for financially providing.
And that's where generalization gets us.
Theres also alot of people who say including myself that pros should charge whatever they want. If its no longer within my budget or no longer within a price i feel is worth it for me i will simply move on to someone else.
Theres a cuddler that charges $250 an hour i would absolutely consider cuddling due to her reviews, she hosts (saves me the trouble of dayuse rooms) and shes very attractive.
Theres also cuddlers that charge way less i say no to due to a variety of factors like not hosting, being rude, not having a car and not being on time etc.
I remember there was a cuddler here 4 months ago that gained like 30 karma in 1 month and was so busy i couldnt even book her. She could have easily charged more if she wanted to as well but she also got banned that same month so not exactly sure what happened with her.
Yes, exactly, that too and that’s fine. Maybe the forum would disappear and no one would have a place to complain. This community doesn’t need the forum to survive. If there’s a demand, there will be a supply - or not. Maybe generalizations will put it all in perspective.
@Huggycatbear Yes the get a girlfriend part was not called for at all. Relationships are complicated. I could just “get a boyfriend” too. But here I am. And there are reasons for that.
I agree there is a gap in the conversation. You shared something that happened to you and it was moved passed. And you’re right that there is very little space in these communities for men who have been harmed, and having to build your own toolbox for that alone is a heavy thing.
The way you separate yourself from the generalizations is how you act and behave. And so far you have done so with way more class, understanding, and comprehension than most in these forums. And I’m so thankful for that.
Is it fair that all men have to take into account the actions of other men when they interact with women?
No of course it’s not fair. But that is what is happening. And showing that you are a safe man does not take much. There are many men in these forums who have earned that status.
And there are many men who have shown their true colors and why this problem exists in the first place.
@Carrie_Anne 🙌 😊
@Carrie_Anne I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I really think having a Messageboard on this site is counterintuitive to what this site is all about.
@disneysamurai agreed 👍
@disneysamurai I agree! But it’s still really interesting to me and a learning experience.
In time CC will disappear if forums are removed… as much pain as it may be it keeps us together and going … for example fighting over to clean this place up may seem counterproductive in this moment but in the larger scheme it tells where we should be and we are not. If this platonic struggle disappears then so will CC… personally speaking, it is very sad for truly platonic people who are still and as always just a few, for us, sellers and the buyers of feelings, less money or more are just the other face of the same coin. I support pros who provide this service like a medicine and must be paid and respected as any other service but no others.
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a19158567/what-is-rape/
This insight may help bring understanding to what’s actually happening in many cases.
Let us also never forget that without buyers and the conditioned assumption that a money exchange automatically means sex is on the menu for far too many males, this would end immediately.
@HUGGGGGG that part!