I am so tired of having to say “hey, my eyes are up here”. I mean does anyone else have the issue of people doubling over and vomiting when they meet you?
@TheFunCartel I told you that in CONFIDENCE
Wow, so many points here. I appreciate so much all of your time and energy towards this discussion. I rather mostly listen here but I will touch on some points.
Trauma. I love the viewpoint of challenging our own preferences as long as it's your own. Nobody has a right to shame or change your trauma. I dislike when people are using labels like the -isms, or mysogyny or misandry to address someone's choices.
It is lazy to interpret someone based on their expression in words. To mark them with a scarlet letter without reaching for an understanding first.
This is where I invite understanding. I'm sure this will also invite judgement.
Cuddling from this community I see as more of a triage. Something I can fix when touch-starved. Cuddling women I find attractive has been for the purpose of handling my own personal anxieties and to be comfortable in my own skin. It has allowed me to navigate a world where pretty privilege is a thing. This has extended to pretty men too, even though I'm heterosexual.
My training manager Mikey looked like a kpop star. I wanted to stand out and make an impression, but I couldn't be me when I talked to him. I was the same way with a woman cuddler I considered beautiful. I talked to her like Grace Ashcroft from Resident Evil 9.
"H-h-h-hi. W-w-would you lik-lik-like some coc-coc-cocnut water?"
Since I've cuddled with women I find attractive it has cut through the anxiety and allowed me to be the confident huggycatbear I always wanted to be.
Thank you, people of the cuddleverse.
@Huggycatbear so Mikey wears lipstick, caked on white make up and dyes his hair? I’m surprised that your company would allow him to do that! Doesn’t sound very professional.
A part of human nature… look at the way people view moths vs butterflies, rats vs hamsters, etc. Even in the animal kingdom, certain animals gain more “beauty” based on status look up mandrills. Some animals choose their partners based on visuals not personality. The insect world has even more distinction.
I could go on and on on this too but I’ll conclude that…
One may experience pretty privilege, and in the same setting they may be treated poorly as well. Due to envy, being
It’s all subjective.
@Ironman294 Nah, he's just tall, thin, and has those natural boyish features.
As for my company, there is no dress code. It's super nice! First corpo I've worked for that isn't making us show up in business casual or suits.
I like to refrain from sharing photos until someone really appears their truly going to make the cut with me for a prospective meeting. I posted my profile from time to time. In my lifetime I've rarely been attracted to people by their looks. I see your strengths, vulnerabilities, character, talents, intellect , humanity could go on... I prefer to spend my time more selectively quality of time spent is most valuable to me. Definitely must be MORE than a pretty face or body.
@Huggycatbear I actually find it pretty important to challenge others' viewpoints.
@SpicyNSweet I agree! As long as it's not a personal dig. There is a way to offer viewpoints that is not combative that makes people not defensive or put up resistance. Esp in a forum setting and internet where people are often misconstrued or interpreted as one-note.
I think people's trauma are their own journeys. And should not be shamed for it. Everyone has their own time when they are ready to face it. And trauma can be a shapeshifting monster from child to adult life.
And if this is tied to preferences, so be it. Just my view.
Unfortunately though, even the most mature and eloquent delivery will fail if someone isn't open to receiving new or uncomfortable information.
@Huggycatbear I was obviously kidding because that’s what kpop boy idols look like. Except for Psy he of Gangnam Style fame
@SpicyNSweet You're so right. I'm working on my delivery because I want to be the healing people need. Trying my best to listen first and then help them through their own POV, systems, and beliefs, rather than tell them what to do.
I call it Schemata. Everyone has their own blueprints to their internal self and external world.
Still a WIP.
@Ironman294 Lol why did I answer so seriously haha. Should have seen that as a joke.
@Huggycatbear Healthy communication aims to promote awareness, not to change someone’s mind. No one is in control of how someone else thinks or feels. That’s up to each individual to control. No one has the power to invalidate or “cancel” anyone else unless they allow said perception to control their thought processes. Social media is COMPLETELY out of control if presumed “grown adults” can’t grasp such concepts.
I agree with cuddle faery! “ There's a difference between aesthetic attraction and romantic/sexual attraction. Finding someone nice to look at is entirely different than only seeking out people whom you would choose to date.“
As a pro cuddler I do not go by outer appearance. When someone has taken the time to write a thoughtful profile that stands out to me.. followed by a good ph convo prior to meeting.
Unfortunately outer beauty will always attract ppl but that only lasts so long if someone has no substance or inner beauty.
I may have so called preferences, yet they don't fully dictate on whom I cuddle
I have my preference but cuddling myself tends to grow old. So I am open to who I cuddle with.
There’s nothing wrong with selecting partners that appeal to you. For me that tends to be more mature + huggable + warm vibes.
It’s naive to think attractiveness isn’t a factor in preferences or even pricing, but each member can approach the site and potential partners in a more balanced way. I deliberately avoid higher priced providers or those with Instagram/dating vibe pics but don’t judge others with a different approach.
I’m the same out in the wild as well. There could be three models standing at the bar and I’d be more likely to talk to someone who’s scrolling pics of baby penguins or has an inappropriate tshirt.
“Pretty privilege” seems like a knock to anyone who’s conventionally attractive. It really depends if they try to act entitled. I’d say they likely have to put up with more boundary pushing and entitled assumptions than most.
One of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met has low key pictures, no makeup, and went with a goofy face pic. She gets derogatory/diminishing comments (mostly from men) all of the time.
@MustHugDogs “Pretty privilege” seems like a knock to anyone who’s conventionally attractive. It really depends if they try to act entitled. I’d say they likely have to put up with more boundary pushing and entitled assumptions than most."
“Pretty privilege” seems like a knock to anyone who’s conventionally attractive. It really depends if they try to act entitled. I’d say they likely have to put up with more boundary pushing and entitled assumptions than most."
Honestly, I didn't like using that term. I hate anything connected to blah-blah-blah privilege as it's all come out of the political social sphere. But I wanted to get people's perspectives on it.
I want to make a note that being conventionally beautiful can be a curse too. There are people who are attractive to many, and they are lonely because of that. Or they get unwanted attention.
Fair enough and I didn’t take it that way. Was more how I often see it used as a put down or incel talking point. We could just as easily talk about Tall Privilege. As a short king it’s something I notice.
I try to keep compliments to things the person can control. It’s fine to compliment their eyes or hair of course, but “you have such a great style” or “I appreciate hope calm you are - your speaking style and presence help me relax” seems better than “Wow, you’re gorgeous!”
@MustHugDogs Fellow Short King here! Towering at 5'7" 😁💪And you're right. I notice this trend of the shortest women love the tallest men. Meanwhile I dated a Russian woman who was almost 6 feet tall. She didn't mind.
I also have bald privilege haha.
@Huggycatbear my dad is 5'3" and my mom is 5'10" 😂 August will be their 50th anniversary!
I’m 6’3 but I blame it on all the chemicals in the food back in the 70s
@TxTom 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Well said sir
@Morpheus well said… additionally for some… isn’t it also an opportunity to cuddle with a partner who in ordinary life would never be an option?
The energy exchange (money is a form of energy) equalizes the playing field and enables a connection via cuddling between 2 people who otherwise might never have interacted… I think it’s beautiful
@SpicyNSweet love to see that! When it's all about personality and two people will keep on keeping on with each other.
I am so tired of having to say “hey, my eyes are up here”.
@FunCartel_ - I feel this, almost every day. I mean, it's tough being me, but no one else is gonna do it.
Betraying my gender here, but men are visual creatures. Gay or straight, guys like pretty. There's the small group of evolved men on CC who honor women, honor men, and honor themselves, and then there's the tried and true dudes and bros and non-evolved who never made it past their caveman urges.
Trigger warning... but CC guys I've banned (and the ones still trying to hump anything that moves and haven't been banned yet) are like this:
[point and grunt] You. Pretty. [point and grunt at themself] Me like. [lascivious grin] Cuddle now!
@Sideon Evolution or a lack of evolution unfortunately has no gender division. It's just people.
I get the same exact kind of communication from 75% of the pros.
I do agree that most men are visual creatures. I think this is worth discussing! About the whole visual vs imagination distinction.
Most videos/streams are watched by men and romance novels/sex books are read by women.
Also, it's interesting to see how things are in the modern day since so much of our data is historical. I read an article where a woman in PR moved to Salt Lake City and felt the need to get some augmentations, even thinking about plastic surgery. And it wasn't because of men, it was because she felt competition with other women.
I'd like to add: the vast majority of what we tend to think of as gender differences has more to do with socialization than with biology. Examples: that men are more logical/mathematical, that women are more detail oriented, etc. Most of us have our natural traits shaped by the environment we grow up in, by the beliefs of the people who raise us - even if that shaping ends up being us rejecting where and who we came from.
There's far more phenotypical differences between members of the same sex than there are between most pairings of opposite sex. Compare my 5'11 oaf of a self to @zoeloveshugs 5'1. We're both dancers, but with completely different builds (even when I was ballet-thin), strengths, and weaknesses. And yet we both clearly love dance ☺️
@Sideon
You are just saying that because you're pretty
@pmvines
And gay. Monstrously gay. But manly. Like a bedazzled WWF outfit. Just a few more muscles.