What puts you at ease?

SweetandsnugSweetandsnug
in General
As a professional cuddler I've developed a few techniques to support clients in feeling relaxed and safe. One of which is prior to our appointment I like to check whether they prefer minimal contact (primarily sharing space, holding hands, light shoulder touch, elbow touch, etc) or full contact (conventional cuddling and hugging). People seek out touch for a number of reasons and for many those very same reasons are why they may experience discomfort, though they desire the intimacy of connecting with another person. 

I always want to make sure sessions with clients fulfill their need to feel seen and cared for, and that means putting them at ease from start to finish. If you were to set up a session with a professional cuddler, what would relax you upon initially meeting?

Comments

  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    Over the course of the past two years I've cuddled with exactly 10 professionals. The most at ease I have felt are with the ones that are all smiles and hugs from the moment they greet me. I do have a piece of advice for anyone hiring professional cuddlers.  Take it upon yourself to make them feel at ease, a happy and comfortable cuddler equals a good time for you.
  • CarlosHuntCarlosHunt
    I agree with  Morpheus 100%.  To be greeted by a big hug, a nice warm smile and a peck on the cheek makes my day. I prefer "full contact" and the hug gets the session started on a good note.
  • SweetandsnugSweetandsnug
    I appreciate your responses! A big hug and a cup of tea is how I've primarily liked to start sessions ^_^
  • [Deleted User]LovelySKP0613 (deleted user)
    Someone honestly expressing what they do and don't like makes me extremely comfortable. Also, I realize not everyone has the same kind of humor. But going into sexual jokes when meeting someone for the first time is a big NO.
  • MrPapaveraceaeMrPapaveraceae
    edited November 2016
    I like that you think of that.

    For me I think a very friendly attitude, calm and feeling not rushed is pretty important.
    Another important one would be knowing the each other fairly well before meeting, just by chatting, knowing where their comfort zones are, their personalities and accommodations they might need. So each one knows what to expect and there's no surprises. I could imagine could take away from an otherwise pleasant experience.
    That way the first meet could go just as expected and hopefully would want to do again. Of course still just asking, for confirmation might still be nice and even after the meet ask how it went.

    Though usually I like making plans ahead of time and have my heart set on them once decided on, I also wouldn't mind someone open to being a little spontaneous, like deciding to go watch a movie instead, or a restaurant, even for a little drive, or walk around town. A little date for the first time meeting might be nice, to get a little more comfortable and get a better feel for each other.
    I'm also okay with just staying indoors.

    I wouldn't like distractions like having cell phones out, like you said, making them feel like they are the one's your seeing and not feeling like they are just another client, or want to get it over with.

    I also like to have plenty of time to prepare, like I'd like to have at least a day, or two planned ahead, making sure the place looks nice as well as myself, despite being in baggy pajamas.
    There are some scents I like that make me feel relaxed too, like certain incense and fragrance and nothing overpowering. I think just overall smelling good is good to consider, on the other hand having overpowering fragrance would make it tough to be totally at ease.
    I like soft lighting and quiet. So would have something like a string of white Christmas lights for lighting, or even candles that I'd sometimes use a scented one.
    I like to keep things at a soft volume, like someone that tends to have a loud voice could be a little jarring and using a soft voice I'm sure would be appreciated.
  • BrandiBrandi
    edited November 2016
    Loved Mr.Papaveraceaes response. I Always have candles, and incense going, and I always be sure to have nice clean blankets, and febreeze the whole place before people come in, smell is very important!  I usually offer my clients a water bottle and I always stock up on waters. (other cuddlers like to offer tea, or coffee).
    Then we can chat and decide what to do for the session, weather its watching a movie or show, or listening to a playlist on spotify (if you don't have it I recommend the upgraded version so you don't have to worry about ads nothing like a ad that kills a cuddle mood lol.
    the main thing to remember is you are both there to cuddle! so get close, don't feel weird about embracing each other, and you should feel that relaxing feeling. Arm tickles, and head scratches are always nice to exchange ( reminder everyone should be showered and clean please ^.^) 
    And as long as both people are happy you guys can have small talk, or you can have deep conversations, all depends on the individual :)
    happy cuddling!!!

  • MrPapaveraceaeMrPapaveraceae
    Thanks :)
    Yeah I agree it should already be comfortable enough to not be shy of getting close and yeah, being clean, smelling good makes a big difference. Personally, I would be open to touching right away, petting, hugging, sitting close and talking. Like one easy way I have that instantly warms me up, to put me at ease and makes me melt if I seem nervous at all is fingers through my hair. Then I'm yours.
  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    I don't know if this sounds weird but I find it incredibly endearing when my cuddle buddy falls asleep. What a sign of trust when someone you just met can fall asleep in your arms. I had a pro come over recently and she previously told me one of her rules is that she doesn't fall asleep. 30 minutes into it she was out. I asked her later why she fell asleep when that was one of her rules and she told me that she felt so comfortable and safe with me <3
  • BrandiBrandi
    Aw thats sweet Morpheus! lol I have had sessions with you, and I totally know what you mean, I would be nodding off a lot, so I can totally get why she would pass out!
     you just massage us and make us feel so loved and amazing! <3

    How does everyone feel about small talk? I like it because I kind of get to know the person and hopefully it leads into bigger conversation, but does anyone have any awesome topics to bring up during cuddling? :)
     
  • respectfulrespectful
    edited December 2017

    @Brandi Topics to bring up during cuddling ...

    What is your favourite: memory, animal, food, smell, place to go?

    What are some of your dreams / bucket list items?

    What touches you emotionally? What makes you feel: happy, loved, alive, fulfilled?

    What do you like most about yourself? (Hopefully there is an answer!) Alternatively: Here are some cool things I see in you.

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    Good necro respectful. I think it might be fun to answer what you've written.

    I don't have many favourite things. My favourite place to go is somewhere where I can learn something. My favourite smell is maybe pine? I remember coming back home from a long trip and smelling pine and thinking it was really nice.

    However bucket list: Learn russian, electrical engineering(PCB design, house wiring, etc), and farming. At least currently. I always have new things I want to learn.

    What touches me emotionally? Almost anything really. I actually have really strong emotions which took me quite a while to learn how to handle.

    What I like most about myself? My empathy and ability to listen/understand. I found these desirable qualities and made them a part of me. It's something I am working on all the time.

  • respectfulrespectful
    edited December 2017

    @JasonCuddles Nice answers! I relate to the empathy part. I like being sensitive as a male.

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