Enthusiast over-nights question for other enthusiast women

CurvynapsCurvynaps
edited April 25 in General

Question for enthusiast women.

When in the course of a regular cuddle connection friendship feel comfortable with platonic overnights?

Please quantify with # of cuddles or length of time one has known the enthusiast partner.

Please note, this is a q for enthusiast WOMEN by a woman. Seems one person already had trouble reading and mansplained a generic response.

Comments

  • Backscratch75Backscratch75
    edited April 25

    Sorry added comment originally was general post and would not add on woman’s post. Just unable to remove this or delete it. - I assume when connection, boundaries and comfort are clearly established. Central is mutuality.

  • TenderEmbracesTenderEmbraces

    Yes comfortable with overnights after a proper vetting of the individual enthusiast and tbh is my preference. @Curvynaps
    I generally have correspondence via the CC app and meet beforehand before a cuddle is planned.

  • MTexMTex
    edited April 25

    Real Experience:
    I had a couple of overnights with someone I had been messaging & talking to by phone for 5 months beforehand. We lived in different cities so that's why it took a bit longer.

    After thinking about & calculating the average time:
    I'd say normally after 2 to 3 regular cuddle sessions (2-4 hours each session) I'd be comfortable with an overnight. That means I would have been communicating with the person regularly for at least 2 months & had at least 6 to 8 hours of cuddle time together.

    I get to know a potential partner pretty well before meeting via messaging/texting. And then I have a phone, video, or in person chat before the first cuddle session. This normally would span over a month's time but I have had it go as quickly as 8 days.

    Edit: Changed colloquial idiom.

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    Im speaking to the female/male pairing on this one although I recognize other pairings exist.

    Im assuming you are trying to gather information to assist in your own decisions. But I’m concerned with this being a public thread as it won’t stay with the audience it was meant for.

    Male enthusiasts looking to push for overnights and likely other boundaries now have a thread to reference. “Well, other women said after two or three sessions…”

    Sharing specific criteria publicly just ends up giving bad actors a checklist to use. Or sets up expectations that overnights are even possible when they often are not.

    I would also expect there wouldn’t be a universal answer anyway. It would be completely dependent on so many variables. Each female cuddler would have different criteria ranging from “absolutely will not” to “maybe under these circumstances” which will be unique to her. And each male enthusiast she encountered would move through that in completely different ways. To average out number of cuddles/hours/calendar time doesn’t really tell you much.

  • CurvynapsCurvynaps
    edited April 25

    @mauvefox - I hear your caution and I am not concerned about this. All enthusiasts have to work on their discernment skills.
    Any man who pushes for something is a red flag. Period.
    I block all messages who have not read my profile thus they make inappropriate inquiry (e.g. their failure to use google figure out how to obtain consent training).
    It weeds out those who are careless and thus unlikely to engage consent.
    Careless, lazy, secretive men are not men safe to touch my body.

    An informal poll is a fair use of this forum.

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    I've done one overnight cuddle with a male enthusiast. I met him at a meet & greet, where he proved himself to be nice, respectful, and trustworthy. He joined me at my parents' for the holiday get together, which made it a lot more pleasant. I hadn't previously cuddled with him, but I got a good vibe from him, and I'm usually pretty accurate about that sort of thing.

    I've had men, including a pro, message me asking about overnight cuddles right off the bat. Most I don't respond to because they give no indication they looked at my profile. Those few who I do respond to invariably get angry and block me when I express caution and want to meet them somewhere first.

  • CurvynapsCurvynaps

    @MTex thank you for your response; it gives me an idea of things.
    @TenderEmbraces - may I DM you to get more details on how you determined this?

  • TheMidnightOwlTheMidnightOwl
    edited April 25

    There’s no formula. I go with my gut and get to know people via msgs and in public before I even entertain the idea of allowing anyone to my home at all. I’ve only hosted an overnight/weekend once and we slept in separate rooms.

    Yep to what @mauvefox said.

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    You can post anything you like in the forums. ☺️

    But I was not talking about discernment or vetting. I was expressing my concern that women post things in a forum that is accessed by all and how this information might be used by others.

    I’m so thankful you have effective vetting skills. Not everyone does or even knows how to. Me personally, I choose to provide awareness to others who might need that. But that’s just me. 🤷‍♀️

    I hope you get the information you need. Since you are already taking some of this to DMs, perhaps a safer message for your fellow female enthusiasts would have been that you were looking for feedback on folks who have done overnights and if they could reach out to you. Rather than requesting specific information here and potentially creating an unsafe scenario for less experienced cuddlers.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    I have no math for this. It's different for anyone I choose to do an overnight with. It's rare. It's not my preference, no matter how much I adore the person. I prefer being awake and engaging meaningfully to sleeping through it, every time.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Junkie 📷 Shutter Bug

  • MTexMTex

    I will just say my post has only to do with my personal experience. I would never expect or want those time lines used as a universal standard. I also have a strong vetting system in place before meeting anyone in person. Safety is of the upmost importance on this platform. Please be safe ladies & happy cuddles 🤗

  • 0CuddleBunny00CuddleBunny0

    For me, overnights are less about a specific number and more about consistency, comfort, and trust over time.

    If I had to quantify it, I’d usually feel open to it after a few solid sessions—typically 3–5—where communication is clear, boundaries are respected, and the energy feels genuinely safe and relaxed.

    I also look at things like:
    • How well they follow consent and pacing
    • Whether they can stay present without pushing
    • Overall emotional maturity and respect

    Time-wise, that often ends up being a few weeks to a month depending on frequency.

    Overnights require a different level of vulnerability, so I prefer to ease into that rather than rush it—even if the connection is great early on.

    That's just how I approach it 💛

    Happy & Safe cuddling everyone ✨️🙂‍↕️

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    For me, it's been less about quantity of meets prior and more about quality of connection. There's some folks on here I've talked to for years before I got the chance to cuddle with them, and so a strong level of trust had already been built. Other times there's folks I connect with right away and have been comfortable doing an overnight either right away or within a cuddle or two. And some other folks that I've cuddled with I am comfortable enough cuddling with them, but we maybe don't have the sort of dynamic where an overnight cuddle would make sense - longer isn't always better.

    Overall, I've just learned to trust my gut and trust my vetting process. While overnight cuddles can be lovely sometimes, not every cuddle pairing is suited for them 🤷🏻‍♀️ and I'd always much prefer briefer high-quality cuddle time over trying to force longer sessions in the name of "more is more".

  • pmvinespmvines

    I am not a woman so I realize I am not necessarily the target audience here. If I can be excused for that, my experience with overnight cuddles weighs on the fact that so many of my cuddle friends are out of town. So when we do find the time and opportunity to cross paths, overnights or several days is what makes the sense. That being said, because they are out of town by the time we do finally get to see each other (some I have known for years before finally meeting) we already have a very established friendship and connection, and feel comfortable enough with each other to do overnights because there is already that trust and comfort level established. So if you decide to do an overnight with someone, id say that it's paramount to have time to know and trust and feel comfortable with the person first. Lots of communication and getting to know each other both online and off. Especially offline, and I say that because they are more likely to behave better online than off

  • CuddlingforlifeCuddlingforlife
    edited April 25

    I've only had 1 overnight experience so far. Its not something i plan or keep at that kind of meet ups ongoing.

    With that said, I don't have a specific number of cuddles before I agree to an overnight. It's more of a gut "feeling". Or a instinct.

    He made me feel safe, super secure in our friendship and we had spent all day together. Lunch, shopping a movie and ice cream lol . The kind of day you just didn't want to end.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I am not a woman

    Neither am I but I am learning

  • great_pillow08great_pillow08

    I’m pretty sure I did an over night night 1 with @TheFunCartel.. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Said person should teach classes on how “this” is done!!! I go with my gut. Some people I’m like, NO WAY and others, I’m totally comfortable with. Generally, I’d say AT LEAST 3 regular sessions first!

  • AntiqueWpatinaAntiqueWpatina

    Why would I want to hear someone snore for 8 hours? Hmmm???

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @great_pillow08 Yes we did. Twice actually at the old house in Grandview.

  • TenderEmbracesTenderEmbraces

    @AntiqueWpatina I have no partner and sometimes I miss hearing the snoring. It is very comforting to know that people are relaxed and feel safe in my care.

  • AntiqueWpatinaAntiqueWpatina

    @TenderEmbraces Honestly, I was being light-hearted about the topic. Sorry... I snore very well, but I'm not record it and play it on here. (I'm told I do)

  • TenderEmbracesTenderEmbraces

    @AntiqueWpatina I had no clue 🤭. I snore as well. And yes have had a cuddle with someone who used their CPAP totally unbothered.

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