Friendzone cuddle

Darkeyed_maleDarkeyed_male
edited May 4 in General

After careful thought and reflection I may have cracked the code. Friends want connection if romance isn't the answer...So, Why isn't this a thing?

Whoever builds the website with that title is gonna be rich lol

Option 1 - you've put someone in the zone. This reframing sets clear boundaries

Option 2 - you're in the zone and you need a cuddle excuse

Either way, it reframes the action. It's all mental.

Comments

  • Dcuddler4UDcuddler4U

    Being “in the friendzone” is not the same as being friends. It’s a state of mind, where one person is romantically attracted to another and upset that the other person does not feel the same way but only views them as a friend.

    In that scenario I think the two people cuddling is a horrible idea. It sends mixed signals. It can work… but I would not recommend it for most people.

    I might recommend the person who looks at their friend as a romantic interest considering cuddling with others, as it can reduce stress, anxiety and help them form platonic connections with people. Basically teaching them how to be around someone and just enjoying the company as it stands. This could help them accept their crush, and allow them to go from feeling friendzone to actually friends.

    Now if two friends want to cuddle and they agree on what it means and what the boundaries are, great… but they don’t need a website.

  • Darkeyed_maleDarkeyed_male
    edited May 4

    I see your point..so a friendzone is not friendly at all it appears.

    Cuddling should be platonic. With boundaries set, individuals in no matter what category could benefit.

    Unless a friend is icky. Then it's possible maybe that they are being used.

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod

    Friendzone cuddles sounds like a very bad idea and a good way to lose a friend.

  • Darkeyed_maleDarkeyed_male
    edited May 4

    The nuance of friend is in question here it appears. I've never been in a position to refuse a kind gesture. We give our pets this unconditional allowance that we sometimes reserve for special people.

    In my history, I've always put myself in the friend, maybe not the zone (friendzone is a boundary)

    I become a friend first. This gives me perspective. I don't understand a relationship without that foundation.

    So friendzone must be a bad thing. We need those two words separate.

  • BrandiBrandi

    I think there’s some good points being made. While cuddling is platonic, some people may have a hard time putting the feelings aside for that with someone they have a romantic interest for and could feel like it’s giving mixed signals. I actually have a few friends that went through this very situation. He was really into this girl, she was just wanting to be friends, but they cuddled and were a part of the rave scene so it was pure intentions but in the end he couldn’t separate the platonic cuddle with his feelings and saying he didn’t understand how she could be intimate with cuddles but didn’t want to date in the end. She ended up having to stop cuddling him because he wasn’t really understanding the difference between the two.

    I do think there are people that could handle it but I think it would probably be the minority of general population. Maybe more common with folks on here who have a deeper understanding of cuddles. 🤷‍♀️

  • Darkeyed_maleDarkeyed_male
    edited May 4

    I get what's being said. But if we don't change in this environment we dive into the world of the unsaid. This world leaves people behind. And I get it I've been in love briefly. But I'm also logical.

    I feel for people in that zone.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    Ugh, I absolutely hate the term "friendzone." People don't place others there — they put themselves there by treating friendship as conditional on eventual romantic or sexual returns. And to me, that's not friendship - that's manipulation.

    If you genuinely become friends with someone and then develop unexpected feelings, that's a very human and understandable situation. But behaving like a friend while harboring ulterior motives from the start is something else entirely.

    If you've put yourself in the friendzone by maintaining a conditional friendship, cuddling is probably a bad idea. Friendship shouldn't be a consolation prize — and in that situation, cuddling sounds less like connection and more like an excuse to push boundaries, or self-punishment via carrot-dangling.

    When we find ourselves with unrequited feelings, the healthier path is to step back, honestly evaluate our boundaries, and ask whether we can maintain the friendship without resentment or unspoken expectations creeping in. If we can't (and sometimes we just can't), distance is kinder than risking hurt or manipulation.

  • cozycuddler4youcozycuddler4you

    As others have said, “friend zone” is not a positive term at all. The benefit of transactional cuddling is aligned expectations. Cuddling with friends - regardless of the extent to which boundaries are set - opens the possibility of hurt feelings or complicated dynamics down the road. Intention doesn’t (always) equal reality.

    But hey, if anyone proceeds with your million dollar site idea, would love to see how that goes. 😂🤗

  • PoeticWindSongsPoeticWindSongs

    It's a recipe for a disaster.... no no no lol

  • Darkeyed_maleDarkeyed_male
    edited May 4

    We can talk ourselves out of the zone

    If I put myself in the zone, I may develop feelings, I keep them mine because they are. My feelings are mine. The issue comes when outside individuals act on my feelings.

    My feelings are nobody's business. It's a boundary. If you think I have a thing for you, that's YOUR problem. I may enjoy my feelings alone. That small adjustment takes you out of the zone spiral. Remember, this thing is mental.

    How I treat you is how things are, not how you think they should be. Expressing feelings is the risk once you become vulnerable you have to play that card. That's the real issue, power.

    Stay silent, treat people with respect...risk what you can afford, feelings aren't for the public.

    Be friends, cuddle as friends. Leave the zone

    Come out as a zone survivor, watch what people call you. They have no mercy for the zone.

  • TxTomTxTom

    The "friend zone" is what happens when a blind date didn't go as well as hoped for.

    Hopefully, it wasn't broadcast on national television...

  • Darkeyed_maleDarkeyed_male

    @cozycuddler4you

    The website should be for zone survivors. They comfort each other in their vulnerable state. They've given away their power to a place that regulates their value.

    Remember, the friendzone is a 3rd party assessment. We smile a little, or we get pissed when we hear the term. As we progress as humans, as we look at power and how it is handled in social settings, the friendzone will stand alone as the place that holds the most hearts captive to make way for the next phase in human evolution.

    She tells him how she feels, he pats her on the head.

    "Never again."

  • KatotaKatota

    The "friend zone" doesn't exist. 😏

  • Darkeyed_maleDarkeyed_male
    edited May 4

    @Katota
    Somehow there's a way to fix this phenomenon. I'll use A.I. It's a mental condition. There may be power words, or exercises... People have given up, but why?

    there's a way lol

  • cozycuddler4youcozycuddler4you

    @Darkeyed_male i commend your commitment to the cause lol

  • KatotaKatota

    @Darkeyed_male Whatever, "friend zone" still doesn't exist. 😁👎

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @Darkeyed_male I think you are skimming over the platonic part of cuddling. Friendzone implies you were put there because you were hoping for a more romantic connection.

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    I think friendzone is an artifact of a society that views women as objects or prizes to be sought after and obtained. And it's perpetuated by movies, tv shows, and other media where the guy just has to be persistent, put on a good performance, and lie his ass off, and she'll eventually fall in love with his antics.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    Friend zone doesn’t exist.

    You are either an actual friend and care about the person OR you pretend to be a friend to try to get to the spicy zone… friend zone doesn’t exist. Period.

  • AmberUKAmberUK

    what is wrong with the friendzone?

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    what is wrong with the friendzone?

    They are owned by auto zone. It means wherever you drive you will be stranded with no friends to help fix your car. Advance Auto is better because if you accept the advances you will receive help and a possible proposal.

  • AmberUKAmberUK

    @TheFunCartel erm….

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @AmberUK probably a US only thing. Carry on.

  • KatotaKatota

    Friend zone doesn’t exist.

    You are either an actual friend and care about the person OR you pretend to be a friend to try to get to the spicy zone… friend zone doesn’t exist. Period.

    👍👍👍👍👍

    @Sheena Exactly and thank you! 😁

  • KatotaKatota

    They are owned by auto zone. It means wherever you drive you will be stranded with no friends to help fix your car. Advance Auto is better because if you accept the advances you will receive help and a possible proposal.

    @FunCartel_ 😆😆😆😆😆

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