Public speaking anxieties

I had an interesting experience at work recently. I am facilitating a 4 hour training course with employees. I have several classes over the next two months. Sometimes when I have to speak in front of people that I don’t know, I feel anxieties. I went into the first session feeling very anxious.

A few minutes into the class, we have to show this video that evokes emotions in a lot of people, it’s a sad video. I don’t know if it was the anxieties I was feeling, the video itself or both but I became emotional after we all watched it as a group. My emotions were very apparent to everyone. I didn’t cry or anything but I was definitely affected by the video. I was affected because it was about cancer, I am a cancer survivor and so it got to me and I shared my personal experience with the group.

Once I got past the emotions, it only took a couple of minutes, I noticed my anxieties went away and I was able to facilitate the entire class and every class I’ve had since then without anxieties. I’ve been thinking about it and have been trying to figure out why the anxieties subsided. I have drilled it down to two possibilities, either the emotions I felt from the video were stronger than my anxieties and put them at bay or, the group seeing me become emotional and still accepting me for it, made me feel some kinda way and put the anxieties at bay.

What do you all think and or do you have any similar experiences with anxieties, public speaking or anything of the sort.

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Comments

  • A lot of folks get a natural high from public speaking, even though they may still experience anxiousness beforehand. It's true for me. I'm guessing the "high" is displacing the anxiety.

  • For me ... When I'm talking about my medical trauma... I seem to overcome my anxieties because I pretty much disassociate and run through the story like a shopping list. Which kinda freaks people out sometimes when I'm talking about having brain tumors the same as I would talk about how I tried a new coffee shop. But for me I have to be Use if I slow down and feel the I won't be able to get through it without I overwhelming emotions.

    Maybe it's a sort of disassociation your brain does to get through it 🤷

  • Public speaking is/can be very stressful. Toastmasters International is a wonderful organization that has local chapters in many towns all over the USA and the world. Meeting time varies, from morning, lunch or evenings, once or twice a week. Gives you a great opportunity to speak and learn in front of a small group. It was very beneficial for me, helped my speaking anxiety and improve my speaking skills.

  • Nice one.

  • Morpheus, those are interesting theories as to why the anxiety lessened. I know when I need to speak in front of a group I do sometimes get anxious as well. I think it's one of the things that a lot of people find stressful. I wonder too, if it was the acceptance of the group of the way that you were moved by the film that helped.

  • I experienced public speaking anxiety for the first time in 5th grade. I was running for student council president and I was required to speak before a group (don't recall how large) in any case, I choked. Could not utter a single word. I hated that feeling. I grew up in church and was always a shy ,soft-spoken girl that took pride in being a part of Christmas and Easter programs, always memorizing my speeches and proudly reciting my speeches from the age of six flawlessly no nerves, granted we did practice beforehand. I also sang in the choir in front of the church and school, no nerves (no solos). I learned, being in front of groups in public as myself is more difficult for me than performing s part. I joined a local drama group as an attempt to fix myself , I couldn't live my life like this. I Iearned of this group that met weekly through an older friend who had also been a member. Shes also the friend who invited me to Sunday school so I guess she led me to Christ, so to speak. I wanted to overcome my anxiety (at the time I hadn't a term for what I was feeling i knew i didn't like being crippled by the experience running for student council) . Drama club helped me become more comfortable in front of people in a way it served to help me "get out of my shell". In many ways I'm still that 10 yr old girl who could not speak when I needed to persuade the group I was the candidate to represent the fifth graders. Oddly enough I still have difficulty in public situations being ME or talking about myself, I can play a character in a public performance without nerves whatsoever. For those who were interested enough to read this far, I continued to be involved in student council from sixth through twelfth grade and had the privilege of being elected president of my senior class.

  • @MeltMyWay disassociation definitely helps.

  • Try joining Toastmasters. I used to be a member and I really enjoyed it.

  • @disneysamurai many of my past supervisors were Toastmasters.

  • Pharmacist here. You could try a beta blocker like propranolol prior to help with physical symptoms of nervousness like sweating, racing heart, etc. You don’t need a super high dose, would ask your provider for 20mg tablets and try taking 1/2 to 1 tab about 30 min prior to events that trigger such symptoms.

  • edited May 9

    @MeltMyWay Yup! People who’ve been through hell medically or mentally frequently cope with it by disassociating themselves from their experience. Not everyone’s capable of accomplishing that thought, which is why the experiences of those who can are generally discredited.

    @Morpheus I DEFINITELY DO NOT recommend pharmaceuticals as they don’t always work and one can lead to 2, then 3+ to manage new symptoms from each. I went no contact with my siblings (they’re hyper critical of me and always trying to compete) and started journaling- It did WONDERS!!!

  • Thanks everyone for your input and for sharing your thoughts and experiences. This experience really interested me because I’m wondering how I can utilize any of this in the future to get past anxieties when speaking in public. It doesn’t always happen but if it does happen, it’s going to happen if I’m around people I don’t know well and or speaking on a topic I don’t know well.

    Another thing that helps me is making sure I get enough sleep the night before, eating a good breakfast and also feeling confidant in how I look. When I have been facilitating these classes, I’ve made sure that I look as good as I possibly can. Clothes clean and neat and dressed appropriately for the situation and my audience.

    In regard to toastmasters, I’ve heard about the organization since college and I’ve always thought about joining, just never have. Maybe I’ll look into it again.

  • @Morpheus Hi! Hypnotherapist here and I work with this all the time. If you’d like to chat, please feel free to message me. 💫

  • @great_pillow08 thank you for perfectly exemplifying both the false equivalence and slippery slope fallacies.

    Propranolol has been successfully used in the context of performance anxiety for decades. It is well documented. (Unlike your IN ALL CAPS assertion to avoid due to imaginary hypotheticals.) Like everything, it is a risk / benefit consideration. No need to be automatically dismissive of suggestions that you do not understand.

  • Probably some combination of the two. Thank you for sharing your experience.

  • You wanted to get your truth out about your experience and that I overshadowed the fear

  • edited May 10

    Unacceptable post hidden but kept to maintain thread continuity. -@CuddleDuncan

    @cozycuddler4you There was ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about what I said that I don’t understand!! Having worked with various aged people with several different conditions, I’ve seen it time and time again. It’s a cycle that never ends. Your paycheck depends on people not knowing what I stated, so I wouldn’t expect you to support said information. Please have some humanity and learn to put truth before your paycheck! 😢🙏

  • @great_pillow08 Just so I can be sure I understand your position well, you are saying that any pharmaceutical, even when prescribed in a responsible way, will always lead to undesirable side effects and never produce a beneficial result? That the only reason anyone would ever recommend a pharmaceutical solution for something is because they are greedy bastards that are happy seeing people suffer more so that they can get a fat paycheck? And you say this because you have reviewed all of the pertinent scientific literature and studies for all pharmaceuticals, or at least for propranolol?

  • Be careful. Trying to correct her can result in the thread being locked.

  • edited May 9

    @great_pillow08 My recommendation was shared in good faith without conflict of interest or financial incentive. Not a drug pusher. Just sharing what I know can be effective based on published data related to this specific situation.

    My previous comment was intended to caution against blanket assertions extrapolated from tangentially related personal observation. I stand by my statement that you do not understand the pharmacodynamics of propranolol; and you clearly also do not understand drug reimbursement models for retail pharmacy. You do , however, understand your personal views based on observed impact of different drugs taken by different people for different reasons. And about journaling. Not litigating your personal experience.

    I shared that I am a pharmacist for context. No need to accuse me hiding "truth" in favor of financial gain. Super conspiracy theorist sounding of you. No one accused you of owning a stake in "big paper" because you recommended journaling. Relax.

  • RN here… @great_pillow08 I hear you and your feelings are valid 👍 @disneysamurai Toastmasters! 👍

  • @SweetCuddler33 Another person with reasoning skills! The woman who birthed me has been a walking pharmacy my entire life. She has something for everything because “this” medication causes “this”, then that medication caused “this”. You should see the clear plastic bag that takes up 90% of her purse (and yes, she “shares” with others when she thinks their symptoms fit whatever medication she has). I have a close friend who’s a pharmacy tech and she said when she got her current job they told her when she’s explaining side effects to mention there are other drugs to help with those. It’s sick how pharmaceutical company’s keep us sick so they can profit off of us.

    I’m not addressing anyone else specific with this post. Threads get locked when people who can’t tolerate differences of opinion as such get offended, make it personal, and get nasty about it. It’s perfectly acceptable to read something online that you disagree with and scroll on! My comment was addressed specifically after not having specifically mentioned anyone. I was “general” on purpose.

  • edited May 10

    Ditto

    @btc13- In your case of irrational misinterpretation of what I ACTUALLY said in plain English, I more than kind of recommend looking into Xanax (you may “need” something else for any drowsiness or mood swings though!). I made a comment on a website that means NOTHING in the grand scheme of life- Take a breath! It’s NOT THAT serious!!

  • @great_pillow08

    Your paycheck depends on people not knowing what I stated, so I wouldn’t expect you to support said information. Please have some humanity and learn to put truth before your paycheck!

    This is what you ACTUALLY said in plain English. I don't understand how it is irrationally misinterpreting this to believe that you accused someone of making a recommendation that is knowingly opposed to the best interest of someone solely for her own profit.

    I made no statement in my post. I simply asked questions to try to clarify what you were saying. Instead of responding to that, you suggest I take Xanax. For what reason do you believe this is necessary? Because when I ask questions that shine a light on what you said, you don't like what you see?

  • It’s unfortunate that this thread has been derailed. Public speaking anxieties are something that a lot of people suffer from and could have possible benefited by this thread. The thread was going in a positive direction up to the point of derailment. Can we please get it back on track. If you want to have a discussion about pharmaceuticals, maybe you can make a new thread and discuss it there.

  • edited May 10

    I believe that public speaking used to be listed as the number one fear, above death.

    I remember I think it was a Jerry Seinfeld joke about how most folks would rather be in the casket than be the one giving the eulogy at a funeral.

    I did a couple of open mics last year, and even in my comedy class I had anxiety. I had anxiety while performing the open mics too. Sometimes it just doesn't go away.

    But admittedly, I am a very anxious person lol.

  • beta blockers are quite popular with musicians suffering from performance anxiety because they are non-drowsy and don't give you a 'high'. they just reduce some of the physical symptoms of anxiety like elevated heart rate and palpitations so you can concentrate on the performance aspect. combined with exposure therapy (i.e. just doing it) this is quite effective way of overcoming performance anxiety. I've personally used them a couple of times in similar situations and found it quite helpful.

  • @Morpheus I think that the point was that a pharmaceutical solution was proposed to address this type of anxiety. There were several different types of solutions proposed, so I'm not sure why one well intentioned solution needed to be vilified. Hopefully everyone here can make whatever well intentioned suggestions they want, and each individual can evaluate them to decide which are the ones that they would like to pursue.

  • @btc13 I agree that everyone here was trying to be helpful… in their own way… however, the public BERATING of another was a bit EXTREME… uncalled for… especially, on a topic about social anxiety… 😩 not necessary or helpful…made me feel sad 😞 for all parties involved…

  • @btc13

    I hear you and understand what you’re saying but revisit this thread in a week and it’s either going to be closed, no one is going to comment on it due to the confrontational nature of a few of the comments or the thread is going to be all about pharmaceuticals and have nothing to do with the original topic. I’ve seen it time and time again where threads are derailed because of ego, not because someone is trying to make a positive contribution.

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