@cuddlefaery
I don't believe in hell anymore either, yet you like giving it to people. There's always multiple viewpoints. Calm down
I have a tattoo and a piercing.. didn’t take offense to OP or anyone else on this thread.
@SpicyNSweet @cuddlefaery - some feedback, for your consideration: Your responses came across helpful at first, but then quickly became preachy, self-righteous, and condescending. I think your message would present more effectively if you limit your responses to just how the post came across to you and why and that’s it. You don’t need to put words in his mouth and wordsmith his posts for him.
If I can be totally honest, which it seems like we are being at this point in the thread… I didn’t mean to go hard on the OP because I do think he was being curious/ he just had a different mind set but like… the way he phrased the question of being generational in his thinking kind of triggered me so I was a tad harsh in my response. Only because my last job that I was at for 4 years wouldn’t allow tattoos that were visible, piercings, or colorful hair and was in my mind stealing people’s (my) ability to have autonomy and that sucks. To think that people with those characteristics couldn’t be professional. I have to say, I took my job more seriously than more than half the people in that industry, I can wholeheartedly say that with truth as I heard how others only out in so much effort for the pay and I always put my whole effort into things because I was taught to do so… idk I just think we’ve reached a point in society where appearance shouldn’t matter at all. Ideally the perspective of judgement on appearance should just be weeded out of society, it’s Wishful thinking but it my last job was a freaking grocery store job and there’s literal doctors who can have those things and have it not be taken as “unprofessional “ so I’m a little spicy about it. I just truly don’t understand..& the more people that are open minded and don’t “judge” someone’s character on this topic, the better. I’m just over it. I don’t care if people find me attractive or not as far as dating goes.. but this kind of discrimination really does affect people when it comes to being able to get a job/hold a job when it really shouldn’t. 😬
Ok rant over thanks for coming to my Ted talk 😂
I’m not taking anyone’s side but I’ve been researching what impure means scientifically and biologically. I’m not going to insert any citations but by everything I’ve read, biologically, it sounds like tattooes do make the body impure.
The problem is that many people hear the word pure and or impure and think in terms of spirituality or morality so the word is approached from different schools of thought.
Depending on what angle you’re approaching it from, either answer can be correct.
So basically, ya’ll are all correct, can we all go back to being friends again now.
Thank you for the advice, @cozycuddler4you, but I'm well aware of why and how I rub people the wrong way - and I'm okay with it. If people can post their opinions in a public forum, others can post how and why they disagree with those opinions. I don't expect everyone to agree with me; diversity of thought is a good thing.
What I do expect (perhaps naively) is that people have the capacity to recognize the consequences of their words and actions when those are pointed out to them. If they're okay with those consequences, cool. If not, some self-reflection might be worthwhile: is what they're doing actually serving the purpose they intend?
Lol at posting Let it Go while commenting multiple times
@Morpheus totally get biological references to "purity" here, but the guy actually said:
"I love the natural beauty and purity of the body (especially women), so I'm not a fan of tattoos."
I see zero reference to science here 😂 it was a judgmental comment, plain and simple. No one is forcing him to cuddle women with ink. It was a pointless, petty comment.
@cozycuddler4you thanks, but I certainly don't see where I put words in anyone's mouth. Enjoy your evening☺️
@SpicyNSweet
Touché
@cuddlefaery We’re saying the same thing here .. feedback is good so ppl know how they come across so that they modify their approach. I just suggested to limit it to how you interpreted it and why. Would only drop the part where you reword his posts in a way that comes across kinder
When "impure" is used alongside words like "beauty" or given in context of religious beliefs, it isn't a scientific statement about contamination. To claim those arguments come from an objective, scientific standpoint is ignorant or oblivious at best — and disingenuous at worst.
EXACTLY, @cuddlefaery
Just personal preference. Tattoos, septum rings, smokers of any kind: not my jam. Same as a 5'7, nerdy, milk chocolate-skinned beefcake not being most women's jam. I don't take it personally. I acknowledge their choice, accept it, and move on.
On the flip-side, 98% of my friends and co-workers have tattoos (some have sleeves) and, being an art nerd, I can definitely appreciate beautiful linework and gorgeous coloring.
Just letting you know, that it can very easily be perceived (especially online/over text) as being judgmental when you say things like "beauty and purity" regarding zero tattoos, which implies the exact opposite regarding having tattoos. Totally different from saying you simply prefer no tattoos.
@SweetCuddler33
Fact: Tatoos make the body impure.. the body.. not the person…
I’ve been reading this thread for several days now and it seems to me the root of the controversy is the denotation (literal definition) vs connotation (cultural / emotional “extra meaning”) of the words being used.
Based on my background (former quality manager for a global medical device manufacturer) the word “adulterated” comes to mind because that is the word used by the FDA to describe something that is contaminated or altered in a way that makes it impure. I can only imagine the reaction I would get on this site if I said people with body art had “adulterated” their bodies 😂
FWIW - I am body art agnostic. I personally don’t have any but that is a personal decision. One of my favorite cuddlers (who has since deleted her profile) had dozens of colorful tattoos.
Back to definitions vs connotations… In 1999, a top aide to the D.C. Mayor was accused of being a racist and pressured into resigning after using a fiscal word in a fiscal meeting. The dictionary definition of the word he used is “stingy, miserly, or unwilling to spend money generously”. However, the word SOUNDS very similar to a racist slur. Here is how the Washington Post summarized the story…
My point is it is difficult to have a conversation when some people use words correctly according to their literal dictionary definition but other people focus on and react to the word’s cultural / emotional connotations. Throw in a tendency for many people to assume the worst when there is any uncertainty in what was meant and you get this thread.
This thread also reminds me of my numerous trips to Mexico where I saw Americans trying to communicate with people who speak a different language. When there is a communication problem, their first reaction is to talk louder. I’ve seen it happen hundreds of time but I have yet to see it work. 😂
@cozycuddler4you I also offered a suggestion on how op could have worded his request so it would actually be from a place of curiosity because he did include judgmental language. And I don’t see a problem with it. If I have misspoken and caused upset, examples on what I can do differently are helpful. Then I can actually see if they are coming from a place of just disagreeing with me, misinterpreting me, or if their reframe makes sense.
If I came in here and just said op was judgmental, I wouldn’t be making much of a case right now.
And posting repeatedly is often not so much for the op. It’s now a conversation between multiple people. Case in point: you keep reposting. 🤷♀️
@JohnR1972
I mean that story just makes me shake my head. 🙄 You’re right. The two words are totally unrelated and just sound similar and so cause upset. That one in particular is a case of that guy really just should have known better.
But words, and interpretations of them, do matter. I stated that I don’t think the OP meant to cause harm but his words do matter and the impact of them matters. Just as that mayor had impact and really should have thought that word choice over.
Now, no one is getting fired here. People are just having a conversation.
Just letting you know, the majority seemed to get it.
This thread is absolutely astounding.
It's definitely far easier to become defensive than practice receptivity 🤷
I love ❤️ body art!
@mauvefox Agreed. I knew the word that led to the resignation meant “frugal” but I would have never used that word because it is way too easy to be misheard / misunderstood. I do a lot of public speaking to very diverse audiences and I am constantly on guard about the connotations of words and images.
A few years ago I was presenting to an all Muslim audience and I went through my presentation and replaced two images in my slide deck. One showed a breakfast plate with a slice of ham on it and another showed a woman in a karate uniform doing a high kick (both images were related to the presentation). However, out of respect for my audience, I changed both images to something I was certain nobody would find offensive.
I was once in a C-level executive meeting and I saw the SVP of Human Resources come unglued because a plant manager criticized the “performance management system”. The plant manager meant the automated system that tracks daily operations on the plant floor but the SVP of HR thought he meant the new employee annual performance review system that HR had just implemented the previous year. It was comical to watch someone blow up and get defensive because he thought the plant manager was criticizing what HR had implemented. The whole meeting came off the rails for 20 minutes over the term “performance management” having 2 very different meanings.
@chocobunny ” just letting you know” 😂, I didn’t find your original comment offensive .. I know you were not being judgy.. 😊 “ just letting you know” 😊 I understand what you meant… This thread has me thinking of the parable of the tiger and the donkey ..
Or the feeling of accidentally walking through a spider web , trying to get out of the sticky web , but, can’t get it off .. you’re trapped in the web, spiders lurking, waiting .. you feel the spiders eyes burning through your soul, just waiting to jump on you., you want to scream, but, one false move in the wrong direction you’re prey! 🕷️
@zoeloveshugs 👍
I have wanted to do body art for sometime but I’ve resisted it and really don’t have a reason lol. I did for very first time did the painted toe nail thing 😊
Oh the drama🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Also, there are no victims here. It's simply a conversation 🥰
Just letting you know and exactly! 👍 drama 😩 😊
I have a nose piercing and I like it ., however, I would not get any piercings near my eyes or on my tongue.. Simply because it’s not my taste and I don’t think it will look nice on me.. Some people may not like nose piercings or a lot of tattoos.. That’s fine too. We all have different opinions , likes/dislikes. It’s all good 😊 yay! 😃 I still feel like I’m in the fable of the Tiger 🐯 and the Donkey 🫏.. The tiger 🐯 gets punished for arguing with the donkey who was antagonizing the tiger even though what the tiger was saying was honest and true 😊 So, I will now be silent ( as far as this thread goes) like the tiger and I will let the donkey ( referring to the fable, not, calling anyone an actual donkey! 🤦♀️ ) go on and on… I wish everyone a peaceful and beautiful evening! 😊
Some people like to compare other people to predatory spiders. when all those spiders were doing was having a conversation. And so far a fairly friendly one at that.
🤷♀️
Assuming you are the tiger in this fable is a bit of a leap.
And how are you being punished exactly? Or stuck in a web. You are free to leave whenever you want. And yet, you just keep going on and on and on, which I believe is what you said the donkey did. 🤣
Hey @SpicyNSweet Rawr! Be the tiger babe 🐯
And it has been said “ Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference”
Let her go on her magical way filled with pleasantries.