Just curious if this site is regularly used by enthusiasts. Lots of pros, of course. Which is fine, nothing wrong with that. But I wonder if non-transactional cuddling actually happens?
It happens but I've never cuddled with an enthusiast it's always been a pro.. I had a similar conversation with a pro once.. And I told her that having a session with the pro is basically a transactional relationship.. For example let's say I message a pro for a session and since this would be my first time seeing them, so both of us can be comfortable let's have a public session. We can meet at a restaurant, and talk and get to know each other.. How much would the session cost including the travel fee and don't worry I'll take care of the restaurant also.. Now picture me having this conversation with another enthusiast, for all intensive purposes I just asked someone out on the date.. @Laradise I guess the point I'm trying to make is if I understand your question correctly far more people here have sessions with Pros rather than a have sessions with another enthusiast.. One day I probably will have a session with an enthusiast, but for some reason I feel a lot more comfortable having a session with a pro..
It is, yes.
Meeting an enthusiast is no more like a date than a business meeting.
Cuddling with female enthusiasts is rather rare. I had some years ago when I joined but they are somewhat unicornish; even with having well over 30 5⭐️ karmas and living in the largest populated county in the United State - Los Angeles - with over 10,000,000 people. It’s extremely difficult to find a fellow female enthusiasts.
Many women join as enthusiasts and either jump off quickly due to being overwhelmed by inquiries (both appropriate and inappropriate), or immediately turn pro, or get banned for one reason or another.
We do exist 🦄 🤗
There are enthusiasts here. 👋 😁
I don’t charge money but I do charge time, effort, and intention.
What I’ve found is most guys don’t want to put in that effort. They want me to be ok jumping into a cuddle with them for free but also without knowing them. And that’s not how I roll. 🤷♀️
And the “basically a date” thing. Well it’s just not. A date assumes romantic intentions. With this, everyone knows (or should know) what they signed up for. That’s kind of the whole point.
@MTex Do you remember that m&m Christmas commercial where the two m&ms meet Santa. And red passes out because “he does exist” but then Santa passes out because “they do exist” 😂 Any way… back to your regularly scheduled programming.
It happens! Not too often though. Also seems like distance usually prevents the cuddle opportunity with enthusiasts.
@mauvefox That's exactly what I pictured when I posted here 😆 Great minds think alike 😉 My fellow unicorn 🦄
I agree with everything you said as well. Time, effort, & connection are key before any cuddle. I prefer phone or video chats before meeting in person or a coffee meet-up.
It’s most definitely a thing but does seem rare.
It’s too bad that Enthusiast women often say they are overwhelmed with requests and messages and unwanted attention. That seems like a common experience in many online spaces regardless of the subject matter.
A date implies romance, and taking a step towards some kind of relationship. Cuddling is specifically platonic, so no it’s not the same at all.
Clear communication and boundaries are easy to establish if both parties have good intentions. And that foundation sets everyone up for the best possible time.
I don’t charge money but I do charge time, effort, and intention. What I’ve found is most guys don’t want to put in that effort. They want me to be ok jumping into a cuddle with them for free but also without knowing them. And that’s not how I roll. 🤷♀️
What @mauvefox said. As a pro, I was very selective about who I met with. Now as an enthusiast, if anything I'm more cautious. I have very limited time and energy - I'm not going to waste it on someone who isn't willing to treat me like a friend instead of a fix.
I started with a few pro meetings and recently met an enthusiast. It was great and we plan on more cuddles. I’m currently scheduling with another enthusiast.
That's my experience, too. Even with my profile stating I'm not vetting any new cuddlers right now, I had a total stranger message me at 10 pm last night wanting to know if it was too late for a session. It's way past too late for you, dude.
@BlueIris ..... Wow! Anyone who texts at 10pm for a session is a person who doesn't understand decent norms. That's crazy!
@Laradise
I’m in my old man era, rarely awake after 10 😂
@Laradise I think this was a message through the board. I agree it’s too late to request a session of a stranger and texting would be worse without prior agreements.
I’ve been messaging (not texting) with someone who is mostly awake when “normal” people are asleep.
I have no issue with people messaging and texting at any time. I manage the notifications on my devices so I’m not bothered except by people and apps I allow to do so!
They don't sta long . Also there are phony enthusiast profiles I believe
I think I've met and cuddled with about 5 or 6 enthusiasts so far, though all of them have either deleted or deactivated their profiles since and most have not left me karma. All but one of them no longer cuddle though. One is a good friend who I've bonded with and gotten good advice from (I should have listened to them about certain relationships but oh well live and learn) and talk to regularly. The only issue is scheduling. I see them once every few months usually when our schedules actually align (we only have one day off from work in common and often one or both of us has something to do so it doesn't happen as often as I'd like). Therefore most cuddling I've done has been with pros who are usually also wonderful people themselves and I view some of them as friends as well.
@ScottMelts the issue with late night, last minute cuddle requests from strangers with whom we haven't previously had conversations is that it's a very good indicator of a guy looking for a hookup. Like, in my experience probably around 90%+.
If someone just is messaging late, I don't mind - I'm a night owl, and like you I use my phone's notifications settings judiciously. But a normal conversational message late at night is completely different from a "hey babe u up? can we cuddle tonite?" any time later than average dinner times.
Edit to add: the use of "babe", request without conversation, and last-minute are also red/yellow flags 🤷🏻♀️
@cuddlefaery I thought that’s what I wrote. I agree that a stranger requesting a late night session is inappropriate. If I wasn’t clear before or now please accept that I’m in full agreement!
It happens, but it is very rare for men on this site to find a mutually fulfilling enthusiast cuddle connection. Perhaps only about 1% of male users on this site.
In fact, my current cuddle partner is not from this site. I met her at a cuddle party.
I don’t charge money but I do charge time, effort, and intention. What I’ve found is most guys don’t want to put in that effort. They want me to be ok jumping into a cuddle with them for free but also without knowing them. And that’s not how I roll.
What I’ve found is most guys don’t want to put in that effort. They want me to be ok jumping into a cuddle with them for free but also without knowing them. And that’s not how I roll.
@mauvefox really nailed the main problem with being an enthusiast (unfortunately)! Well done!
I'm sure we could each speculate why most men that seek out enthusiast women to cuddle with simply don't prioritize the mutual effort required to make it a rewarding experience both ways, but whatever the reason, it's true that people naturally invest in things they pay for. 🤷🏼 Which I can say, as an enthusiast myself, is often what makes finding a genuinely good fit even harder than the overwhelm and disappointment of mindless spamming and avoiding the creepy ones.
Without an equal investment in building a connection, a sense of safety, of comfort and fun, what should be a mutually beneficial engagement becomes a completely one-sided burden, and at that point it's work.....which is likely why switching to the pro side of things is so common. After all, why would anyone do all the work AND risk their own safety without anything in return?
There are a few male enthusiasts that truly put in an equal amount of effort, and that's ultimately why enthusiasts like me still do this at all and have hope that the minority does still exist. But to answer your questions @Laradise , non-transactional cuddling does absolutely happen, but, at least in my admittedly niche case, "regular" use of this site is mostly spent sorting through the majority low or no-effort ones to try and find the lovely minority that doesn't make this feel like work. 🤘🏻
I had a few sessions as an Enthusiast, some were great but in some others I still had to put in the most effort and felt that I was expected to act like a Pro. I don’t think I would meet again for free.
It's definitely a mythical thing
All the planets have to be aligned for it to happen
I started off as an enthusiast and still do free cuddles with people I actually enjoy being around. The issue is that unfortunately, there's a sense of entitlement from a lot of people. Entitled to my time, effort, personal space, private info, etc. I can't even count the amount of times I've been asked extremely personal questions, said I'm not going to answer that, and they get offended?! Yeah I'm not interested in being an enthusiast again, it just makes their approach 10x worse.
I've rarely spoken with enthusiast. I'm sure they are inundated with messages and I'm sure are lot are either phony profile or people who aren't active on here for one reason or another.
Editing as another cuddler so graciously pointed out that my autocorrect deleted some words that were important in making sure this didn’t read as something dehumanizing to women. I did not intend to use female as a noun.
@Runawaycuddles exactly!!
My understanding is they introduced the idea of pros here because the ratio of male to female cuddlers was hugely out of proportion. So it was to attract more women.
Then some female cuddlers who were here as enthusiasts switched over to being pro like @Carrie_Anne and others have said. Because to do all the emotional effort, still be treated like it’s a one sided transaction, and do it for free, is too much.
I don’t want to be a pro, not planning on it. But the amount of low and no effort messages is unreal. Even when I get a message and they say they are up for getting to know each other, as soon as a couple messages go by it’s like they can’t sit in their skin anymore. Wondering why I’m taking so long, questioning my process, etc and then they back out. All they had to do was stick around for a little bit and chat. It’s not complicated.
So while the female enthusiast is definitely in the minority here, a lot of men just blow their chance with us. And unfortunately that leads to more and more women switching over to being pro.
I’ve cuddled with enthusiasts that I’ve met on the site as well as cuddle buddies that I’ve met in other ways who cuddle with me but don’t charge me for it. Either way, you’re still gonna spend money lol
Go to local Meetups, which are great places to meet other enthusiasts. So many folks get on here thinking this is Amazon, "I think I'll just order up a cuddle," kind of mentality and it comes down to putting in the time and energy to connect.
I've cuddled with dozens of enthusiasts because of Meetups and have made some great friends along the way.
My first cuddle here was with another enthusiast and she didn’t charge me so that was nice.