Taking A Different Approach...

KokopantzKokopantz
in General

Making plans to meet in person have been a little sketchy I think I'll try being virtual for a while and work up to physical contact. I know I'm not alone in this, it is very hard for me to welcome someone into my personal space. I'm making the efforts to try to be more vulnerable and open minded, these things can't be rushed. Hopefully the next person I come across will be more understanding and give me what I need to feel I can actually be close to them without feeling any skepticism 🤨.... (comments, input, & insight are all welcome, please feel free there'll be no judgement 👍🏽)

Comments

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery
    edited May 18

    Welcome to the forums, @Kokopantz ! It's definitely important to go at a pace that is comfortable for you.

    There are some discussion threads that discuss virtual cuddling. You're likely to find it's more common with professional cuddlers than with enthusiasts.

    One of the most important skills to master with platonic cuddling, especially for women, is how to vet potential cuddle partners. There's some discussions in the Professional Cuddling forum about vetting processes. There are also a lot of great tips on how to meet strangers from the internet safely.

    You can often weed out incompatible or unsafe potential partners through messaging before you ever meet. It's important to discuss boundaries, needs, consent, and goals. If you ever get pushback on those, it's a clear indicator they are not a good fit for you.

    And always, always trust your gut instincts like you are right now!

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    Another 2 options I forgot to mention:

    • attending facilitated group cuddle events by trained professionals can go a LONG way for newbies - especially if you have touch trauma like I do. It's how I got started, and I'm so grateful that I had that safe container within which to start exploring touch. A good facilitator leads the group through consent & boundary communication exercises, as well as making sure that every participant feels safe and included.

    • if your budget allows for it, booking a professional cuddler with good reviews and after thorough vetting can help a lot with anxiety around initiating touch as well. I know it's less common for women to hire pros, but it's another step I took when I was first exploring platonic cuddling. Having a professional who could answer my questions 1-on-1 and who could allow me the patience to work through things are my own pace was invaluable. It especially helps if the pro is trained in trauma-informed practices in a therapeutic industry (massage, talk therapy, education, etc.)

  • KokopantzKokopantz

    @cuddlefaery these are very interesting options I'm certainly going to look into thank u for ur imput it's appreciated 🥰♥️💯

  • trysdettrysdet

    Often I'll meet first in public after talking on the phone as an intro. Then go from there.

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