What are the rules and etiquette when discussing a pro/client with another pro/client?

Dcuddler4UDcuddler4U
in General

I apologize in advance, there is a part of me that questions if even asking this question is against the rules/etiquette.

Recently someone I don't know messaged me for information about a pro I left karma for. I do not know how I should respond or if I should respond at all. I also thought maybe I should tell the pro who is asking about them, and get permission.

Before anyone "goes there" the client asking did not suggest anything against the rules, nor did the pro ever provide or offer anything against the rules, so if I were to answer him my answer would be something like "She's really sweet and a good at cuddling."

The pro mentioned during our session they would like more clients. And I am not this pro's Dad, she is more than capable of vetting her clients and deciding who she sees. But I am concerned if I am even allowed to share basic information, and if allowed is it proper etiquette.

Comments

  • ksb30ksb30

    I never got asked this but of so id just say sorry I cannot, who knows how their interaction will be and I feel like of theres any stress or drama it could come back on me.

  • MucStefanMucStefan

    If the question of the potential client is honest and not trying to push boundaries, just reply as you mentioned! Doesn't have to be detailed, the client just wants to vet the pro if it's worth the money and if he also is within the rules (not all are...).

  • SRobbSRobb
    edited May 25

    This happens a lot - use your best judgement and if you are unsure you can always ask the pro. I usually default to someone’s privacy and safety and that person can always choose to reach out to the pro themselves.

  • AchterbahnAchterbahn

    Generally, I'd go with "trust your gut". I had someone reach out about a pro where I was her first karma. In that case, I offered additional info about setting up the session with her, but nothing that I wouldn't have been willing to say in the public karma I left. (Or things like "if you are allergic to cats, she's not a good choice")

    On the other hand, if someone is asking about "special services" or as one (banned) person asked "Did she make you extra happy?" then I will usually reach out to the pro in question and let them know. Often those users are banned before I even see their message though.

  • 123Cuddles321123Cuddles321

    I've been asked before.
    First thing I did is tell the pro that I got messaged and I asked for her advice.

  • Lev136Lev136
    edited May 25

    I personally do not get involved in those types of discussions since everybody is different in what they like in cuddling and personality.

  • trysdettrysdet
    edited May 25

    "I can't discuss that .that's between you and them."

  • QuartzNumberQuartzNumber

    I wouldn’t discuss anything personal, but a pro cuddler is operating a business and how could it be wrong to give a bit of info about your experience with that business to a potential client?

    Karma is slightly fake; for a variety of reasons people often wind up leaving glowing 5 star reviews after sessions they weren’t really all that happy with. So to me it’s reasonable for people to want more info. If your karma is an accurate reflection of how you felt, just say that. If how you actually felt is, “She was polite and punctual but seemed distracted and didn’t really want to converse with me,” then say that.

  • JubalJubal

    "I left good karma for her and mentiond what I thought was relevant there"

    The details that I will discuss when asked are punctuality and how responsive the pro is to scheduling requests.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    From previous discussions on this topic, it seems like the common responses were:

    • get permission from the pro in question before providing more details
    • just direct the person to the karma you left, especially if it is detailed
    • ask the person directly what specifically they want to know
    • politely decline to give further information because it is a known tactic used and promoted by boundary pushers on another site
  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I never respond because you run the risk of someone using your name and saying “X said you would do this extra” when the conversation is completely innocuous as a way to leverage someone. My reputation isn’t for sell.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I receive messages like this occasionally and I generally ignore them. I want my privacy respected and I know all of my cuddle buddies do as well. I always leave karma so the person asking can read the karma that I left the pro in question. My biggest concern however is that not everyone has the same experience and if I tell a client that a pro did something for me that they didn’t do for them, I can potentially be putting that pro in a bad situation and I’m not going to do that.

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod

    I always leave karma for a pro if I enjoyed the time with them - and if someone messages me about my experience, I simply refer them to the karma I wrote.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Follow up to my previous post—actually my reputation is for sell but no one here can afford it. But in this economy I will take a substantial buyout to retire nicely and cuddle as my whims dictate.

  • AmazingEmbraceAmazingEmbrace

    What does the CC agreement state regarding this topic?

  • great_pillow08great_pillow08
    edited May 25

    Just be honest. NEVER tell someone when someone else is asking about them. That’s incredibly dishonest and breeds drama! This site is only as safe as its members make it and it’s become progressively sketchier the past few years.

  • TrustedArmsTrustedArms

    I tend to lean in the direction of the most vulnerable person in all of this, and that is the pro. If the ask is coming from someone respectful I’ll answer and give additional comments about being on time, was fragrance free as requested, etc. But then I throw out that should be respectful gentleman with everyone they meet. That will make them stand out. And if I ever have a guy reach out with something like, “Do they put out?” I report them immediately and hopefully they get banned. I do save the interactions so that if ever anyone questions me I have proof of what I’ve said.

  • shecuddlessshecuddless

    @DCuddlerKing

    When I first started cuddling, I used to get really creeped out by people asking about me 😭 but now that I’ve been here longer, I actually think it’s okay within reason. I’ve also had ppl warn me and tel me to be mindful of some ppl just based on the inquiry. And I think that cuddler saved me because that person asking questions ended up banned.

    Honestly, I’d almost prefer someone know what they’re getting into with me before a cuddle… kinda like they did their own research instead of walking in completely blind. Especially because sometimes karmas can feel a little too polished or overly perfect sounding lol, so hearing a more human perspective actually makes me less nervous as a pro.

    I get nervous before every cuddle too. Every single one. So I understand why clients sometimes want reassurance from someone who’s already met you.

    I don’t think personal details or private conversations should ever be discussed, obviously. But at the end of the day, professional cuddlers are still providing a service, and I don’t really see anything wrong with someone saying, “Yeah, she was sweet, calming, easy to talk to, respectful, good at cuddling,” etc.

    To me that feels more like sharing your experience with a business than crossing some huge boundary.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery
    edited May 26

    IMO, sharing an experience with a business or service is the leaving of karma. If someone is digging further and wanting more intimate details, then informed consent absolutely needs to happen with the pro in question. Pros are individuals, not impersonal businesses - cuddling can be just as vulnerable and intimate for them as for the client, and sharing the more private details of a session can absolutely feel like a violation of trust.

    Compare it with leaving a Google or Yelp review for a business. It would be completely normal to go read those reviews. It generally would not be considered normal to contact the reviewer personally to get further details not included in the review. Can you imagine how weird things would get if that were normalized? People would stop leaving reviews altogether if it meant random strangers could reach out with invasive questions - especially about something as intimate as cuddling. Imagine leaving a positive review for a massage therapist, and some stranger contacts you asking for more info. It'd be slightly more understandable if you'd had a horrible experience and they wanted to protect themselves - but for a positive one? It'd also be a completely different context if it were someone you know asking for your opinion and experiences, vs some stranger on the Internet.

    To me, that would come off as invasive and even voyeuristic. Why does this random person need to know the play-by-play of your experience? Do they have specific questions that make sense in context? Or are they fishing, hoping the pro provides SW or other off-book services? Are they actually planning to book - or trying to gauge whether they can hit on the pro because they liked their photo? Are they just living vicariously through others' experiences, with no intention of ever trying it themselves? In which case the pro's trust and vulnerability would be violated purely for someone else's entertainment.

    Edit for clarification:

    Most men who are fishing to find out if a pro will provide SW are not going to just come out & say it. The sites that promote this tactic also explicitly promote flying under the radar so that neither they nor the pro get banned. They'll ask vague questions to feel out what you might disclose. They'll use coded language and ease their way in. The whole point for these men is to play "the game" - to manipulate, push boundaries, and see how far they can go without getting in trouble. Abusers manipulate everyone, including their victims' peers, in order to maintain control and get what they want. If they come right out the gate asking something they know is socially unacceptable, they know they'll get shut down.

  • MarafikiMarafiki

    When someone inquires about professionals that I have seen, I just respond that I do not share the details of my sessions. I would prefer they communicate directly with that professional and make their judgement based on that communication. I am sure ever session may be unique to the two individuals based on comfortability, so my experience may differ from the next persons.

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