@jps76
Hmm I think the Swayze dance move is the one where he and Chris Farley had a Chip n Dales dance battle, which did not involve pottery nor clay .
@7gem
Thanks, now I'm hungry
@pmvines
You're right!
I’m wondering how others feel about ghosting when it’s from a family member who is withholding necessary info (so not related to cuddling).. is not answering a request (sent by text) the equivalent of saying no?
I always see no response as a no, usually theyrespond quicly when I send a pic of me but when I dont get a response I just take it they aren't interested in cuddling lol or super busy.
When it’s a family member or someone close and there’s no response, to me that means there might be something wrong. We shouldn’t be treated that way by people in real life. There’s a difference than if it’s an online stranger. Yet apparently it’s socially acceptable now even with people we know.
@Carrie_Anne im in a very similar situation with my younger brother since many years now … I feel your pain too. Now I just find comfort in knowing that he will call when he is in trouble…as he has time and again when he wants … quite sad … but I guess I’m the elder so I will keep the door open so he knows the way back …
@HUGGGGGG Family situations get so complicated because these are relationships over many years. It’s good that you’ve accepted and managed expectations of your brother. That seems very healthy. You never know what could improve in the future. My family situation is with my brother and SIL and he married her in 1971 so there’s a very long history, so much of the behavior is so different than how I would do things, I’m constantly trying to understand it. I’m returning to the US soon after being overseas for a while. I can’t get her to even answer a text about some arrangements, something she offered not long ago. We were texting and suddenly 2 days ago, leaving me hanging and wondering if they’re ok. Not sure what to do but sometimes she plays little control games with me. I guess this is a passive aggressive way to control a situation. It’s frustrating and imo rude. Oh well I will need to figure out something else.
@Carrie_Anne.... I really don't mean to alarm you but.... I am that worry wart for a reason.
10 years ago, almost to the day, my cousin who I grew up with, went into his bed and did not come out or say anything to anyone for over 24 hours. He lived with his Dad, Sister and her husband. Next thing we hear is he passed away. When something like that happens you try really hard to NOT play the blame game. But in the back of my mind I am always thinking if one of the people who lived in the house just knocked on his bedroom door, maybe they would have gotten to him in time to help him (maybe not).
So for online strangers like this site, if you ghost me, it's annoying, I don't like it, but I'll get over. For close friends and family, NO! You do not ghost me. If I don't hear from you I start to panic. If you "just don't want to talk" You need to message me "I just don't want to talk." Otherwise I will reach out to every person you know until one of them can confirm that they know you're okay, and if no one can I am coming to your house and literally breaking down your door until I see with my own eyes you're fine.
@DCuddlerKing I'm so sorry for your loss. Have you attended or considered counseling?
@DCuddlerKing What you wrote about is definitely our worst fear when it comes to family, and I guess that’s why I’m such a worrier. When someone deviates from typical behavior I don’t know what to think. That’s really devastating for you and your family. So very sorry that happened and that kind of experience gives a whole different perspective.
@CaramelNotes and @Carrie_Anne Thanks for the support, me and at least some of my family have gone through or are going through counseling, and it helps. But like Carrie said every time someone's behavior changes we (or at least I) worry.
And 99 times out of 100, it's nothing, person just over sleep or lost their phone. But there were times when I have gone to someone's house when they didn't respond.
Getting slightly back on topic... when someone ghosts you, you never know why and that's the hard part, What you should do depends on how close you are to that person.
@DCuddlerKing That’s exactly the issue. And we tend to blame ourselves & questioning what we did wrong. Overthinking it because we didn’t get an answer, no clarification or closure. If we haven’t said anything that seems to be an issue, then it’s such an awful feeling. With online strangers it’s a little different.
@DCuddlerKing im so sorry. That’s truly tragic. I’m glad you are getting the support you need.
@Carrie_Anne family can be the worst sometimes. That’s why so many opt into a family of choice instead of one of blood. I don’t know where your travel plans are taking you but I hope they are safe and smooth. I’m sorry there will be an added expense. I know how hard that is.
Families are dysfunctional or broken. Full of addicts, narcissists and their enablers and we have to severely limit contact or cut them out completely sometimes. Blood is not always thicker than water. It's not true. It's baloney.
@trysdet the actual saying is "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". This understanding is frequently applied to the bond formed by soldiers who have fought on the battlefield together being stronger than a relationship you may have with someone simply because you’re siblings.
@Adragayle I love that so much.
@Carrie_Anne thank you for sharing and thank you for your kind words.
@trysdet where I agree I also feel family ties should be given a chance unless a clear obvious wrong is committed before cutting off (this ‘obvious wrong’ is relative to different situations and should be objectively evaluated before cut off) … and still afterwards chance of amends is there but not always…. I have actually done that and I’m the ‘bad one’ for setting the boundary… because im ready to forgive but not forget … I do not have the capacity to forget unless clear corrective actions are seen (a very rare occurrence) … and NO ONE counts all the years of tolerance and patience before….. interestingly enough after many years the same people recognize you for being fair even though they hate you but also know they will not be wronged by you.
I started a conversation with another newbie, suggested we have coffee somewhere and talk about it. She said that would be nice, I suggested a place, and sent my photo. Haven't heard from her since. Not an encouraging start.
Ghosting and giving the silent treatment sometimes shows that the person is emotionally immature.
It has happened to me on here. At the end of the day if you don’t want to cuddle just communicate that honestly to avoid the other person being anxious and thinking there’s something wrong with them.
Why do people ghost when it seems like all went well?
Maybe they just get cold feet.
That’s circulation. Why do they ghost?
I can see right through those who ghost.
I have to say it's my experience here to with the 1st person I talked too, and I'm gone.
@7gem if it was it would have real cane sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup
@Adragayle you are correct but many people today are only familiar with the more modern bastardized version of the original which means exactly the opposite of the original phrase.
Have you ever heard of the saying “no answer…IS an answer?” You ARE being answered…you just don’t like the “tone” it’s in. Perspective is like that. It doesn’t mean somebody has intentions to be rude, quite ironically it could be their only way of knowing how NOT to be. Have you ever been mid conversation with someone who’s breath smelled like death? Do you hold your breath during the conversation and try to cut the convo short…or do you simply tell them that their breath stinks? However “politely” you say it…it’s not really going to be received as “politely” as you may mean it. So, human nature therefore dictates if you don’t have anything “nice” to say…
@CUDDLE_R1TE 👍💯 I don’t know if it will land well with some, but you speak truth.