Pro-paid vs. Enthusiast

HeldHereJeffHeldHereJeff
edited June 10 in General

I’ll try one more innocent post with some ideas I have been developing. Cuddling has definitely been something missing from my life. With limited time left on this Earth, I’m really seeking a sense of fulfillment, and I have found it with cuddling. I now know and have connected with several amazing woman. Each experience has been unique, and a beautiful memory I can hold onto. I am also glad that I can help many financially as for most this is a pay based service. I support this. I often walk away from a great cuddle based session feeling more grounded than a talk-based therapy session. I have also sought up amateur enthusiast cuddlers as well. The dream for me being to find someone who finds the cuddling to be worth the price of admission. Someone that enjoys the closeness and conversation the same as I do, so they need no fee. This seems to be the unicorn of the Cuddle world. Amateurs that I have contacted go down 3 roads 1. No response, I respect that 2. One positive response and then ghosted 3. They are banned or deactivated before I get a chance. I did meet with a cuddler for no money and she ended up asking for money anyway. I very much love and support paying for cuddling and will continue to do so. That being said, I will still continuously seek out that unicorn cuddler that finds my cuddling worth the price of admission. Someone that loves the closeness so much that it is worth it without the pay.

I’m not offering a strong opinion on this one, just making observations. So feel free to analyze my argument. Is what I am looking for clear? Is it a possible or worthy pursuit? Has anyone found that person? Do you think the site should host only paid cuddles or only unpaid cuddles?

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Comments

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    I think it's definitely a worthy pursuit. There are female enthusiasts on here.

    But I would push back a little on an assumption that because someone is registered as a pro, it means they don't love cuddling and don't care. There are lots of helping and caring services that people are paid for, but that they also love doing. Some women (and men) definitely do this for extra money, some as a primary job. As in any paid profession, you are going to find folks that truly love what they do, and folks who are just showing up to get paid. That's why it's important to vet on both sides to make sure it still feels like a good fit for you. Even when it's two enthusiasts, the same need for vetting applies.

    As far as that enthusiast who charged you, she can't do that, you should definitely report her. She's trying to work around CC's rules and fees.

    My understanding of the history is that men always have, and still do, outnumber women on the site, by a lot. They opened up the site to "pro" cuddlers but that does not mean regulated or standardized. It just means that people can charge money and pay a fee to the site.

    Make sure when you are searching that you filter for enthusiasts who have logged on recently, because if they haven't they are going to fall into category 1.

    The unicorns are here though, and finding good cuddle buds is definitely worth it.

  • HeldHereJeffHeldHereJeff
    edited June 10

    Mauvefox I absolutely agree with you that the professional cuddlers I have met still love what they do, regardless of the fee. I think it takes a special person to do this as a pro. They deserve the money they are making. It is definitely a skilled therapy worthy of compensation. As an analogy, I see a lot of doctors. I pay them for their service. On the other hand I have a good friend that is a cardiologist and she is still in a way my doctor. Just a friend connected to me enough so that she cares about me and I care about her. Her exams, her advice are professional but provided due to mutual friendship. She would refuse payment because that isn’t what it was about. There are probably better analogies. Btw, the girl asked for money for transportation and an emergency bill. So she wasn’t explicitly breaking the rules but I do realize that this was a red flag to avoid.

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    @jmcalpine No, that is an explicit rule break. Enthusiasts are not allowed to ask for money. Period.

  • ksb30ksb30
    edited June 10

    Just here to say i also would love to find an ethusiast to cuddle with! Im happy though as I picked up one pro and stuck to them. They are very quirky like me and we usually cuddle in bed and talk are not afraid to share opinions and disagree yer she still falls asleep on my chest.
    325mm
    Who knows maybe one Day me and her could cuddle as enthusiasts
    Do you think this site would stay on as an enthusiast only cuddling site? I dont think it would do well over time

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @jmcalpine
    Do you report any Enthusiast (who you’re calling amateur) for charging? That’s extremely not allowed here and you paying them just tells them they can get away with not going through the Pro approved process, not paying the 15% fee.
    It’s really important to report anyone who breaks the rules immediately. If you have questions about how to report someone, just ask here or pm me.
    It would help you to read the pinned (blue tag) topics at the beginning of each forum section. Also to review the TOS.
    Again, glad to answer any questions you might have.

  • PrincessSummerPrincessSummer

    I'm a pro here- I WISH I could do this for free, but the reality of it is, my day job doesn't pay me a living wage. If I were cuddling as an enthusiast yes I'd have a great time and be happy to connect with people, but that's time I'd otherwise have to dedicate to a second job. I genuinely care about the people that I meet!

    Just the way of the world, I guess.

  • HeldHereJeffHeldHereJeff

    Thank you for educating me on the no pay rule. I’ll be more weary of this in the future. What about for gas money ? This seems to be very common to ask for across the board.

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    @jmcalpine Question has been answered. Enthusiasts are not allowed to ask for money. Period.

  • HeldHereJeffHeldHereJeff
    edited June 10

    I like that this is a strict rule, glad it is clear

    @PrincessSummer and I absolutely appreciate you for what you do and that you get to get compensated for something you love. Wouldn’t it be great if we were all compensated in our primary jobs what we truly deserved! Thank you for adding to the conversation.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    You can still report that Enthusiast who asked for money and who you paid.

  • HeldHereJeffHeldHereJeff
    edited June 10

    @Carrie_Anne definitely. Has only happened once.

  • CSnMUS87CSnMUS87

    @jmcalpine also I'm not sure if this was the case, but often when an enthusiast or even sometimes people not from this site who agree to meet up will all of a sudden need money for "gas" or an "emergency" from someone they've never met in person before it reads as a scam. I've definitely had that happen on other platforms such as a dating app/site where they would pretend to be interested and then when you try to meet up they all of a sudden start asking for money for gas or an emergency, or even a gift card. Usually this happens in advance before actually meeting and usually they don't meet up once the money is sent. I'm not sure what happened in your particular situation, but just hearing that is not only against the rules it sends signals to me of a potential scam.
    I usually would catch scammers who try this by saying ok I'll give them cash when I meet them (not people from Cuddle Comfort) and of course they make some excuse and keep insisting on paying via cashapp or some other online payment method and that usually ends it. I'll then report them on whatever platform I first came into contact with this person and send screenshots if I can. I don't think I've had to do it on here, because usually the ones that tried that on me were banned before I even got a chance to report and it doesn't happen that often to me on here.

  • QualTy1QualTy1

    I'm a pro here, but I have started thinking this question to myself and am genuinely curious about it's answer and why this thread popped up in my head to read, but my question is this with my thought process behind it: truly what is the difference between enthusiast cuddling and pro cuddling other than one gets paid and the other does not. If that is the only difference then why would anyone want to pay for something that's also offered for free on the same site? Is it simply because the pros are more likely to respond to one's inquiry or is there another, different reason more likely? I'm one who follows the rules here and I'm glad for the rules, they help to keep me safe, but there are a lot of people who "agree" to the rules and then proceed to go against them right after they agree to them.
    I am one of these people who truly enjoy cuddling and bring peace, help, and happiness to those I cuddle. I love helping people, it's part of my DNA and yes, I hate the need to charge anyone for this because it does seem like it should be free to everyone, but like @PrincessSummer states, regular jobs do not pay a livable wage and so my time could be spent at a second job or cuddling, which brings joy to not only myself but the person I'm cuddling. I have also had a repeat client from another site that after about 5 sessions he didn't want to pay anymore. It hurt my heart, but I was still basically working, gave him a discount, but my time is still valuable. I truly cared for him regardless, but I didn't know him that well still after only 5 cuddle sessions.

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    I think people pay because it isn’t readily free. For men wanting to cuddle women on this site anyway.

    The men out number the women. And the majority of the women are pros.

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    I submit that cuddles aren't readily free because so many men refuse to put in the work. Women enthusiasts have expressed repeatedly on this forum that they want to get to know someone first before they feel safe enough to be alone with an internet stranger. If so many men weren't in such a hurry and concentrating on getting their own needs met, being completely oblivious to an enthusiast woman's safety concerns, they'd have a better chance at free cuddles with an enthusiast.

    The only other option is to pay a professional cuddler, many of whom are willing to meet clients with a much shorter vetting process. Many providers have much more experience vetting and fending off unwanted advances and have more confidence. Many enthusiast women do not have that confidence.

  • OurConnectionOurConnection

    Long time lurker, first time chiming in on a post.
    As a pro, 99% of my cuddles come to me (I’m hosting) with all 99% I have utilized my guest room, which also now has a professional massage table, a few oils and table cover. I have streamed music, sounds, ambiance, room is clean, always has fresh linens, offer water and of course let my cuddler decide what we’re doing (movie, music, massage, cuddle). I’ve also paid for and gotten certifications all from the funds I’ve received from cuddling.
    Just a different perspective.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @OurConnection
    If you’re offering massage with oils, what do your clients wear during the massage?
    The site requires that Pro and Client are fully clothed during a cuddle session.
    This is something I’ve always wondered about when I see profiles that offer massage.

    (And if @BlueIris or any other Mod can also provide clarity about whether offering massage during a session is allowed, would help many others understand the requirements).

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    @BlueIris exactly

    I’m an enthusiast so I don’t charge or ask for money.

    But nothing is free. Time. Effort. Intention.

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod
    edited June 10

    @Carrie_Anne Site policy is against massage as secondary services for many reasons. As you stated, full body massage with oils require the receiver to be unclothed. Clients who seek massage on this site have proven repeatedly to be expecting nonplatonic services. CC does not want to be associated with massage services in internet searches, which give CC a bad reputation.

    Let's not get off topic talking about secondary services. Back to our regular programming.

  • RespectOthers82RespectOthers82

    Non Pro cuddliest don’t respond to me @ all, even with the nice compliments I have on my profile. The only time a non pro responded to me is 30 days after I seen she became pro. I feel like everyone want to get paid, no genuine connection without $ talk. It’s sad I thought this site was about 2 platonic ppl in need of touch but, it’s all about milking good men.

    I’m tall, handsome, and doing decent for myself can’t wait for God to send me my person because all the ladies I met ain’t real- they just want money money. The non pros will probably ask for cash at some point.

    Good post my friend!
    J

  • KatotaKatota

    But nothing is free. Time. Effort. Intention.

    😊👍

    @mauvefox Very true, as an Enthusiast I grow weary of putting in effort and time just for folks to vanish on me in the end...Lol! 😄
    Or just to be insulted for responding with a NO, most of the time I just won't respond to the "cuddle now?" Dudebros of Cuddle Comfort anymore.😏😊

  • KatotaKatota

    Women enthusiasts have expressed repeatedly on this forum that they want to get to know someone first before they feel safe enough to be alone with an internet stranger. If so many men weren't in such a hurry and concentrating on getting their own needs met, being completely oblivious to an enthusiast woman's safety concerns, they'd have a better chance at free cuddles with an enthusiast.

    @BlueIris 👍👍👍👍

  • KatotaKatota

    Lol! 🤣

    Dudebro: Free to cuddle?

    Me: No, I am not.

    Dudebro: You look huge anyway!

    Lol! 🤣

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    @Katota I get that a fair bit too. My usual response: "Why yes I am. Thanks for noticing!" 😂

    More often I get something along the lines of "sheesh don't get upset, I was just wanting to talk" 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    @Katota And that's why I choose the no reply and block option for entitled message senders. Like the one who messaged me after 10 pm wondering if I'd jump in my car and drive 40 miles to go to his house to meet a total internet stranger. Not even a hello. Just "is it too late for you to come..."

    For you, dude, it's always too late.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    For you, dude, it's always too late.

    @BlueIris But if you head west through time zones you pick up a couple of hours.

  • CSnMUS87CSnMUS87

    I haven't met many enthusiasts to cuddle with, but for each one that I did it wasn't until quite a few long message exchanges and getting to know each other for some time. I go in usually not even assuming or expecting a response, and then if I'm lucky enough to get one I don't expect any more replies so the very few times that it has happened I was pleasantly surprised. It does take time, getting to know each other, and getting comfortable and establishing trust. If someone is replying to eagerly meet immediately then it raises an eyebrow for me. Also for some reason I seem to connect with more people out of town than locally sadly. Ahh if only I had the funds to travel anywhere whenever I wanted to.

  • KatotaKatota

    "sheesh don't get upset, I was just wanting to talk" 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

    😆

    @cuddlefaery Lol. But they're too dopey to realize that NO ONE is "upset" but them. 😆👍

    I am just answering they're "questions" with an honest answer: NO, I AM NOT AVAILABLE TO CUDDLE! Especially right off the bat, jackass. I have a life and plans going on in my life too. Lol 🤣🤣

    We Enthusiasts (well most of us with a strong will and unyielding self respect anyway 😏😄) aren't just laying around whining about "Nobody won't hug me, WAAAHHH! Won't some random Dudebro slide into my inbox with his demands of cuddle entitlement please...WAAAAAAHHHH! " Lol 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    Lol 🤣

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    @Katota exactly.
    Do I like to cuddle? Yes I do
    Do I want to cuddle regularly? Also yes
    Will I cuddle with someone I don’t know, who I don’t like, who acts entitled to have access to my body, who puts in no effort, who can’t even read my profile all the way, etc.? No. No I will not.

  • KatotaKatota
    edited June 11

    if I'd jump in my car and drive 40 miles to go to his house to meet a total internet stranger. Not even a hello. Just "is it too late for you to come..."

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    @BlueIris Lol! 🤣 I get a lot of them too, I once responded with "And leave Law & Order playing without me? " 😆

    No Dudebro, NO! 😄😏😄😏😄

    Jack McCoy, Logan, Brisco, Ray, Casey, Claire Kinkaid (it's damn shame about her in the end 😇), Abby, Skoda, Van Buren and Olivet...No, they all need me right now Dudebro! 😆👍

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