CuddleComfort aka. Only Depression

MathewJamesMathewJames
in General

This site literally has provided 0 comfort in over a year.
And im not gonna spend basically $80+ to "cuddle" someone. For 1 hour. That's literally a smack in the face.
"I believe in the benefits and the healthiness and necessity of cuddling and being close to someone...oh by the way, that'll be $80 an hour."

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Comments

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    I am sorry you are frustrated. It took me quite some time to find someone myself, probably about as long as you have been on. Perhaps taking a break may help?

  • CreativeCuddlesCreativeCuddles

    @MathewJames I am sorry to hear you are unhappy with the site, maybe research the web a little so you know what you are getting yourself into and check into another cuddle site if you are unhappy with CC to see what others offer. Cuddle Comfort has pro’s as well as enthusiast alike and some have been professionally trained so it isn’t just a “cuddle.” It is so much more than that and every cuddler that offers to cuddle someone whether they are paid or not knows that. Some of us have mentors and we also have pro forums to guide us through any process we need guidance. Your profile states you joined July 2018 which is a little over 3 months so I am not sure where the year came from. There are quite a few cuddlers still in search of the right person to cuddle with it doesn’t happen right away. Honestly, 3-4 months isn’t a long time. If you search the forums some have been here over a year, some more and haven’t cuddled. There is a process between you and those you would like to cuddle with to see if there is compatability on both parts. It’s not just one email and your set to cuddle. You only have to pay a fee if you wish to spend the money to do so for a pro or you can look for an enthusiast. In addition, all pro’s do not charge 80$, some higher some lower so it’s up to you whether or not you spend the money. You will get out of this what you put into it. In all honesty though complaining in a forum before you have cuddled anyone probably isn’t the best way to start out on this site.

  • cease2existcease2exist

    Kbye.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    If there are 10 women interested in cuddling platonically pretty much anyone and everyone, and 100 men interested in cuddling women platonically, how do you expect that to work if the women don't charge? If I worked another job, there is no way that I could cuddle everyone I cuddle with. That's not even considering the therapeutic benefit so many people get out of it, and the (both natural and learned) skills involved in being a true professional. If you don't see the value in paying for it, then you either haven't cuddled with someone skilled in this work or you aren't in need of the services a true professional provides. There may be another bucket, but I believe wholeheartedly in the value I provide my clients (and hear it back from them), and I could not provide the services if I didn't charge for it, since I would have to get another job... :-/ I'm sorry you haven't found any comfort though! Maybe you don't have any good professionals near you? Also check out cuddle parties, as there are plenty of those in CA!!! =)

  • [Deleted User]SoulcuddlerZ (deleted user)

    @MathewJames Unfortunate that you didn't meet anyone to provide you with comfort. Maybe CC is not the best avenue for you. Good luck on your search, and may you find peace!

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    There are plenty of non-pros on this site. I have experienced both and have been happy with the sessions 90% of the time. Out of about 20 sessions, only 2 were bad—one was a lazy cuddler in it strictly for money and the other smelled bad. Other than that, happiness so your experience is not necessarily the experience of everyone else.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Not happiness—I meant I was happy. Stupid iPhone auto correct.

  • [Deleted User]SoulcuddlerZ (deleted user)

    @FunCartel I commend you sir. Not too many people have the privilege of cuddling with a non-pro. I know I didn't. But, I will say that two particular pros made for great experiences, one even more so. May all be grand!

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    Finding free cuddles are great, depending on your particular need. For a lot of people, it's really better to see a (good) professional, because we are just that, "professional". You are assured that boundaries won't be crossed, that nothing sexual will happen, that we hold strict confidentiality in your use of our services, that we are there 100% present for you and not for our own needs, we won't judge you and will wholly accept you as you are, etc. There are a lot of potential costs (both emotional and physical) in seeing someone who is not a professional, for some people.

  • ChocolatetreatChocolatetreat

    @matthewjames plenty of girls who cuddle for free on this site find some

  • [Deleted User]BigHugsCA (deleted user)

    @ubergigglefritz I'd agree with 99% of what you said, but I was looking at potentially cuddling with a professional in my area, and she eventually said she wouldn't because I am married (despite what my circumstances might be). While I can respect that and feel pros should be able to cuddle with whomever they want, at that moment she made a judgment. To say that all pros are "there for you and not our own needs, we won't judge you" is not absolutely true. She judged me.

  • CreativeCuddlesCreativeCuddles

    @FunCartel sorry that was a funny post “the other smelled bad.” No pun intended but I would feel like sh*t if someone thought that after they cuddled with me!

  • [Deleted User]BigHugsCA (deleted user)

    @CreativeCuddles lol =)

  • [Deleted User]ivlegend (deleted user)

    Pros on this site are awesome :)

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @BigHugsCA I agree wholeheartedly, thus my (good) added in front of professional O:-) While I respect ivlegend's opinion and experience, I have also heard PLENTY of not good stories from people I have both talked to and seen for sessions to tell me otherwise. There are a LOT of people on here as "pros" who are not professional, not responsive, judgmental about who they see, just in it for the money, basically a warm body pillow, or in it for more than just cuddle services, etc. I'm sorry if that offends anyone. I am not saying that there are NO good professionals on here (so no reason to get defensive), just that there are plenty of "professionals" on here who really are not that. It's not always worth your money with everyone, but find a good one, and it will completely be worth it =) We're at the beginning of an industry, so there are unfortunately not going to be a lot of or any options for most people. For people who genuinely need the therapeutic services of cuddling and connection, I hope you are able to find a good quality professional near you =(

  • [Deleted User]BigHugsCA (deleted user)

    Agree wholeheartedly. I've cuddle with non-pros and finally my first pros recently. Mixed experiences with the non-pros, but the one pro I cuddled with was beyond outstanding!

  • gardengirlgardengirl

    @bighugsca what made that experience with the pro outstanding?

  • [Deleted User]BigHugsCA (deleted user)

    @gardengirl She was professional (expressed things in advance like her checking in with a friend at certain times during our cuddle, etc ... it was our first, and I totally respected that), she was very attentive and "present" during our 3 hours together, was flexible in setting up our time, was caring and understanding ... I could go on. It was everything one would hope for in a cuddle session.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited November 2018

    @creativecuddles. There really wasn’t a cuddle session with the odor challenged cuddler. I cut it short after 20 minutes under the pretence that I had a business engagement early in the morning that I forgot about. I just did not want to be mean and tell her she stunk. I mean come on, please shower in the last24 hours.

  • CreativeCuddlesCreativeCuddles

    @FunCartel first of all I apologize for thinking that was funny it’s just unreal you had to even experience that. I have seen so many pro’s mention cleanliness of the client in their profiles yet here we have a prime example of a pro who doesn’t abide by her own guidelines to cuddle with him/her. I think it’s absolutely ridiculous you even had to contemplate ending the cuddle especially when at that time you had already paid and why should you have to lose out on your hard earned money. For any other pro’s here how would you advise this cuddler who at this point had already paid for at least an hour only to have to end it due to the lack of cleanliness on the part of the “pro.” That type of thing should be able to be reported. That client received no services but had it been them that canceled or the pro refused the cuddle the client would still be responsible to pay.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @CreativeCuddles I should have mentioned that she was a non-pro. I would have been very upset if it was a pro that smelled that bad. The one that was lazy was a pro. Other than those two, all my cuddle experiences have been positive.

    The irritating thing was the smell was so bad that it lingered in the sheets all night and I had to request the hotel to change the bedding. It was quite embarrassing.

  • LoreleiLorelei

    @FunCartel While it's entirely possible that the "odor challenged" non-pro cuddler you encountered did have issues with personal hygene, I wonder if it's possible they instead had a medical condition. You said that it lingered in the sheets all night. That's rather impressive, and usually indicative of a deeper problem than skipping a shower. There are several people who, no matter how attentive they are to hygene, cannot change or rectify their scent.

    For example, certain forms of halitosis have nothing to do with brushing your teeth, and can arise from being diabetic, pre-diabetic, having oral cancer, exc. There's also acanthosis nigricans, which is also caused by diabetes or being pre-diabetic, and produces darkened skin patches that give off a peculiar scent. The person who has an odor condition may not be aware because they're so accustomed to their natural scent that their nose simply does not detect it--most people function this way. Unaware of their own smell and trusting that their daily routine is enough, when medical conditions prove otherwise.

    Trimethylaminuria / TMAU is a body odor disorder that has to do with digestion of certain foods, it allegedly produces a fishy smell, which not all people can detect, but everyone seems to have a different descriptor of (strong cheeses, warm garbage, gym socks, exc)--the person suffering usually cannot detect it at all, people who live with them usually do not, and some people simply don't possess the ability to smell it, leading to a lot of confusion from the sufferer as to whether or not anything is actually wrong--however, it may become more noticible when the individual in question sweats, as the scent is concentrated in bodily secretions. There is no cure, showers / regular hygene cannot mask it, too many showers can actually make the problem WORSE, body sprays and perfumes tend to only mix with it and make it arguably more unpleasant, and while the scent can be reduced, it does not simply go away.

    (... I am a nurse, and I feel compassion for people with these conditions. Anyone who comes to this site is seeking companionship that they cannot find elsewhere, possibly even explicitly because of their scent. They are likely very confused by the rejection they've encountered; and even if they DO know the problem, they're probably embarrassed and feel isolated for it. I'm sure it's hard to talk about and putting it on their profile would quite likely scare people away. Suspected poor hygene, even if it isn't true and their problem is merely medical, is also grounds for job termination in some places and may put them in a desperate spot regarding their day-to-day survival. Not everyone can afford to work from home, as one sufferer pointed out to me.)

  • PaulaDahlaPaulaDahla

    Wow, thank you for that @Lorelei. That is actually very unknown in the general population but you are right it does inspire compassion for a certain population.
    But she may have also just been a "natural" type who doesn't use deodorant, or enjoys a cloying scent that is unappealing to many, think patchouli, or it could have been an unusual natural diet. In other words she may have been totally ok with her smell and maybe didn't care what he thought. Not many people appreciate my fragrance of choice and even online reviews of it state it's a very polarizing scent. Not much middle ground with it.

    That being said, I do actually know a man I cuddle with who has a horrid mouth odor, he takes care of his teeth. I think I will mention the undiagnosed part to him.

  • LoreleiLorelei

    @MatthewJames I'm sorry to hear that this hasn't worked out for you. It has worked out for several other people I've met on here. If the prices are a problem for you, I'd suggest finding someone cheaper in your area if possible.

    If paying any money whatsoever is a problem for you personally, well, you most likely won't get anyone with training or someone explicitly focused on filling your needs and providing you the comfort you're seeking, but I'd suggest cuddling explicitly with non-pros.

    Given that you said you've been here a year, I'm assuming the latter didn't work out for you, so perhaps it's time to move on and find other solutions to fill your needs? I wish you the best of luck either way.

    To be fair, though, even if you think some of them charge too much, criticizing pro cuddlers for receiving any money for their time is a lot like criticizing doctors or therapists, claiming they don't care about saving lives or helping people because they need to be able to pay their bills. I am a nurse, and speaking from experience, people have told me that I don't actually care, I'm just in what I do for the money. However, I could be doing anything for money. There are certainly careers out there that do not involve as much risk of disease, or emotional drain, exposure to bodily fluids, exposure to death, (including the deaths of children or patients I've known for years,) high statistics for on the job injury, (patients with psychosis and other mental disorders have tried to kill me before,) but I chose nursing for a reason. I genuinely want to help people. I cannot afford to do so for free, or I would be a burden on my family, and I also wouldn't have the money to take care of other people. I am more concerned about helping my disabled friends out with their medical and food expenses until they achieve independence than I am about my own bills, but if I do not pay my bills, all of us will suffer for it. Also, I may not have kids, but I know a lot of pro-cuddlers that do. It's not selfish to do what you can to survive and provide for your loved ones.

  • LoreleiLorelei

    @PaulaDahla You're quite welcome, Paula, and you're quite right. Given that I'm not able to ask the individual in question, there's any number of possible reasons. Still, I feel like a lot of cynicism and harsh criticizism is put toward this topic and I hope more people will try to question and think with compassion instead of quick and harsh judgment.

    Oh, I see, well.. I'm sorry for him, that must be difficult to live with, and I'm sure he encounters people who believe he doesn't care about taking care of them. I'm happy to hear that you're understanding and that you two are able to talk about it. :)

  • CatloafCatloaf
    edited November 2018

    @Lorelei, thank you for that. My younger brother has adenoiditis very bad and has been bullied for years at school because of it. I love my little bro and his "stinky breath" has grown on me. There definitely needs to be more awareness about these types of things because making assumptions that someone is not clean just hurts people. I have HSV1 and sometimes get horrid fever blisters all over my face during stressful times. People recommend me face washes all the time, or assume I take hard drugs. It's herpes. Apart from hydrogen peroxide use and medication, there is nothing I can do for it. It will never go away. At my old job, they hired a new female manager who was from South Asia, particularly a part where naturalism is considered sacred, so women do not wear body sprays or things like that. Many of our coworkers and guests complained she smelled of fish and body odour, and the upper management wanted me to handle it because I'm female and they assumed it had something to do with her not washing in a particular area. Instead of sitting down and addressing it like professionals, they jumped to a horrid conclusion. I'm glad for people who are aware either because of experience or profession that some people can't help what they smell like because of a medical condition, or a cultural obligation.

  • CreativeCuddlesCreativeCuddles

    @Lorelei there are also certain medications that make not only your skin give off a specific odor but your breath. I take a high dosage of lithium and it totally changed my body chemistry with everything else I take. If anyone here has ever had “firecupping” done, I did and she knew I was on lithium before she even started that’s how in tune some people are to the scent of another. I constantly have mints, mentos, mint gum in my mouth and also brush my teeth quite often because I hate the thought my breath may stink!

    With clients I have I smell everything in their homes and even though my nose smells these things, the people that live in these environments don’t realize how bad the smell is. I have been in a home where the smell of cat urine was so strong I had to walk out it was making me gag and even after I left the scent was so strong it was literally burning my insides. I have several clients with smells so bad I now keep Vick’s with me and put on my nose like we used to do in the morgue so the smell doesn’t get to you. When I am with some of these same clients in court I could match the client with the smell of their home that’s how distinct some are without realizing it bc they are used to it. On the weekends when I Uber part time when someone gets in my car that smokes the smell lingers the entire weekend. There are also smokers that don’t realize it doesn’t matter how often they wash their hands sometimes the smell of the cigarette stays on their smoking fingers and is pretty much impossible to get rid of. I don’t mean this smartly and I joke w several Indian riders that I pick up frequently that I smell curry as soon as they get in my car and they laugh about it bc they know I love the smell of curry, no not men that smell like curry!! It’s really difficult in all scent situations but I think we all know the ones you can and can’t get rid of. If I was a cuddler that hired a pro it would be unacceptable to have to pay only to have to struggle to cuddle with someone whose scent bothered you so bad you don’t enjoy the cuddle. If I was with a non pro I would get up and leave but politely tell them why so hopefully they would rectify the situation and not let it happen again.

    @Catloaf I used to get severe cold sores as well especially when I was extremely stressed. My Oncologist suggested I try taking Lysine daily. Not only when I had the cold sores but as a preventative OTC medicine to keep them away. I used to take all kinds of stuff and still seemed to take forever to get them to go away and they always came back, especially in the summer with the hear. I was on prednisone, valetrex, put Abreva, camphenique (sp) and tons more on them to get them to go away and it never seemed to work. So I started the Lysine like my MD suggested and I haven’t had one since. He also at that time told me to stay away from cashews which I haven’t had any bc giving up things is worth not getting a cold sore.

  • CreativeCuddlesCreativeCuddles
    edited November 2018

    (I am not sure how it happened but this post was supposed to be after the next one).

    @Lorelei I take one of these every morning. Usually in the summer if I am in the sun all day I take 2. You could read up on it but I know several of the nurses I used to work with took this too and they don’t get them anymore. If you start try not to miss any days taking it and the brand don’t matter and pretty inexpensive! I hope it works for you too.

  • CreativeCuddlesCreativeCuddles
    edited November 2018

    Duplicate post

  • DjorgeDjorge

    This could be a completely different thread at this point :o

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